This past weekend I happened to be in Washington D.C. on business. I worked all day Saturday and once I was done I decided to head back to my hotel and hang out. I was on the phone with NBN and he mentioned that DC was a great hashing town because there are so many groups there that there’s always something going on. By way of Late Night Drive Thru with the help of Assgagger I was able to link up with some DC hashers at Millie and Al’s bar which happened to be the last stop of a pub crawl that started at noon. Millie and Al’s was one of a bunch of bars on 18th street. It was a freakin mad house down there. I felt like I was in Mexico. 18th street is a huge strip of bright lights, bars, 24 hour food places and no god damn parking. I drove around for quite a while looking for parking and trying to call LNDT. While I was circling I probably saw 15 or 20 people get pulled over and 4 or 5 people get towed, all in all that area was pretty interesting. I almost parked in this lot off the strip, but it looked like a scene from the Sopranos. There was a well dressed man off to the side with his cronies doing all the work. I decided I would hold off plus they were charging 15 bucks and you couldn’t park there to late.I finally got a hold of LNDT and she was able help out. LNDT pointed me to a public parking garage that I had only driven by 10 times or so. It’s one of those tricky places that you would never find unless you lived there or knew someone that lived there. It’s off the strip and down an alley and there are no signs I would have never discovered it in a million years. The whole parking structure was packed and it seemed as if all the parking spaces were smaller than normal spaces. I had an Impala for a rental so I was thinking to my self how great it would be to return a damaged rental care then GOD swooped down in the form of a 40 year old Indian (from India) man guided me to a handicapped parking space with plenty of room. I think it was a fitting parking space for me being that I am Donnie the Retard. I was assured that I wouldn’t get towed and I was off.
Millie and Al’s was a packed house and because there were hashers there they had my favorite drink in the world….FREE BEER. I mingled with the local hashers and everybody seemed to love my name. I think I got asked to sing my song a billion times and I had it sung to me a billion more times. There were even debates on whose version was correct….is it “8lb melon head” or “8lb watermelon head”….is the final line “Hi, my name is Donnie” or “Hi, my name is Donnie I like tater tots”. All in all it was quite amusing especially since everyone had been drinking for 7 or 8 hours. I was there for a little over an hour then I left with LNDT, Ass Spelunker, Hoover Damn (don’t know why she was there I thought she live in the Springs), and another guy whose name I can’t recall to go to a house party.
I think we got to the party to late because everyone was already trashed and I had just missed some flip cup. I tried to get some people to play, but no one felt up to it so I hung out and drank some beers. I met this one hasher I can’t remember her name, but she was mean and sarcastic so we got along swimmingly. She was one of those people who would talk shit about people even though they we right there it’s like she thought they couldn’t hear her. I thought it was funny. She was also obsessed with some pasta salad that she had made. It was in one of those gigantic Tupperware bowls. She was a pretty small girl but she had that big ass bowl in her lap and she was going to town. I guess she was having a “Lay off I’m starving” moment. She actually said and I quote, “this pasta salad is so good I want to go lie on that blanket and have someone pour it all over me.” No joke I was cracking up.
I also meet this guy named Tony who looked just like Steve Carell (the guy from The Office and Anchorman). He sounded just like him and he was pretty damn funny too. Tony had this weird tradition when he came over to this particular house; he had to cook Bacon Grilled cheese. Don’t ask me why. I hung out and drank a couple more beers with him while he cooked a butt load of bacon and made sandwiches. Later I had a couple Bacon Grilled cheese, sobered up and drove back to the hotel. It was a low key hash evening, but I had had a great time. Thanks for the idea NBN, Assgagger thanks for getting me the right phone numbers and LNDT thanks for leading me around. This mothafuckin blog has been updated BITCHES!!!
