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2023 HARE SIGNUPS!

      HEY HASHERS, WE NEED HARES!!!! We're opening up 2023 trails, so check out the spreadsheet linked below and sign up to Hare! First ...

Wednesday, June 07, 2023

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Butt Chugs

  



🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares! Lots of trails available in July and August! Someone Lay us a  short, wet trail or a  pool party, or whatever the fuck you want to lay!! To sign up Follow this link! ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨

 

BMH3 #349 – 6/10/2023: Indiana Bones and the Hairy Butt Chug


When: NOTE THE TIME CHANGE

Saturday, June 10th 2023
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go


Where:

EAST of sharpening your tip(Ace Hardware) and NORTH of strengthening your... tool?(24hr Fitness)
Sadly there is no name for this location so if you need help please call Spork.
https://maps.app.goo.gl/xjetFcV6kUFA7cip7?g_st=i

Hares:

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon & Ivanna Hairy Butt Chug

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Look who’s back, Indiana Bones!!!  She has decided that it is time to get back to hashing (not by car but by "KneeRover").  She has thought up a great return trail. Lots of shiggy, lots of shade and lots of moist V shaped areas.  Trail is about 4 miles long, give or take a tire rotation of the "KneeRover", several water crossings and a few bugs to make it worth your while. As always, Ivanna is involved so expect Ivanna type shiggy, meaning wear your shiggy socks!! At least one beer check maybe more.

Use keyword "KatchUp" for a 10% discount on your very own KneeRover. Please place all calls for the discounted price to (832) 372-5133

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Bug Spray!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions. If you end up at the Spring Creek Greenway nature center, you went to the wrong side of Riley Fuzzle, flip a bitch, cross Riley Fuzzle, and drive down to the creepy dead end.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Monday, May 22, 2023

BMH3 #348 – 5/27/2023: Save a Horse(Ride a Mole) and 101 Donations!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares! Lots of trails available in July and August! Someone Lay us a  short, wet trail or a  pool party, or whatever the fuck you want to lay!! To sign up Follow this link! ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨

 

 BMH3 #348 – 5/27/2023: Save a Horse(Ride a Mole) and 101 Donations!


When:

Saturday, May TwentySeventh,TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• TWO Bier Checks

Where:

WG Jones State Forest Trailhead (on the south side of 1488, east parking lot without the lake)
30.234131897850669, -95.48212363643669
https://goo.gl/maps/LSqiWNtohXzm9LJB9

Hares:

Save a Horse(Ride a Mole)
101 Donations

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail is 3.69 miles, with 2 Bier checks. Hashers will definitely need bug spray, and can expect water crossings ( it's a Save a Horse trail).

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Bug Spray!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Head north on 45 until you hit 1488.  Head West on 1488, first parking lot on the south side after you pass Peoples rd.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Tuesday, May 09, 2023

BMH3 #347 – 5/13/23: The 10th Analversary of the MILF Trail!

 



BMH3 #347 – 5/13/23: The 10th Analversary of the MILF Trail!


When:

Saturday, May 13th, at 2:00pm!
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go


Where:

***George Mitchell Preserve / Rob Flemming Park***
30.1441310, -95.5114326
https://maps.app.goo.gl/jr7LKgMxautj1ycw7


Hares:

The Land of MILF & Honey and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon


Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Celebrate all MILFs and MILFs-to-be at the 10th analversary of the Brass Monkey MILF trail! Yes, in true mama monkey style, you will get into the shiggy and possible water crossings. You will be pampered with some chick pleasing foods at the end...along with the various orange colored food products too. There will be Brass Monkeys and mimosas. Yes! There will be the famous vagina cupcakes. For this special trail, there is a patch too. Cum out and play before you need to be really nice to your mamas the next day!


Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions. If you end up at the Spring Creek Greenway nature center, you went to the wrong side of Riley Fuzzle, flip a bitch, cross Riley Fuzzle, and drive down to the creepy dead end.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,

Wednesday, April 26, 2023

BMH3 #346 – 4/29/23: Dim Reaper and Just Abdissa

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares! Next available are 5/27 and 6/10 Someone Lay us a wet trail or a  pool party! To sign up Follow this link! ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨

 

 

BMH3 #346 – 4/29/23: Dim Reaper and Just Abdissa


When:

Saturday, April TwentyNinth, TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Old Riley Fuzzel Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77386 (not the nature center, the gravel parking lot)
30.09338925748269, -95.40564554557069
https://maps.app.goo.gl/VndpJ44XM3pxhFT89

Hares:

Dim Reaper and Just Abdissa

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Join Dim Reaper and Just Abdissa for a romp in the swamp! It's his inaugural hare laying experience. Trail will be A to A or mostly A and 3.5/4 miles.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions. If you end up at the Spring Creek Greenway nature center, you went to the wrong side of Riley Fuzzle, flip a bitch, cross Riley Fuzzle, and drive down to the creepy dead end.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Sunday, April 09, 2023

BMH3 #345 – 4/15/2023: Pits of SHIGGY!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares! Someone Lay us a pool party! To sign up Follow this link! ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨
 
 

BMH3 #345 – 4/15/2023: Pits of SHIGGY!


When:

Saturday, April Fifteenth, TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Craft Beer Check!

Where:

23738 Woodford Place Drive, Kingwood
30.061886764310169, -95.26042308880769
https://goo.gl/maps/hHdy8vU4P6VSd6av9

Hares:

Penis Fly Crap

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Saturday's BMH3 will feature a live laid trail courtesy of Penis Fly Crap.  Beer check will have beer from a trail adjacent brewery.  You will get wet so bring dry clothes for the end, along with hash cash and venturous virgins.

Bring:

WATER!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Friday, March 24, 2023

BMH3 #344 – 4/1/2023: The Ain't Nobody Got Time For TXIH Trail!


 

 

 BMH3 #344 – 4/1/2023: The Ain't Nobody Got Time For TXIH Trail!


When:

Saturday, April First Twenty Twenty Three
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Rob Fleming Park
6055 Creekside Forest Dr, Spring, TX 77389
30.144267883816969, -95.51290790731169
https://goo.gl/maps/c1e2rAk5BbtFUgHW9

Hares:

Donnie The retard

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
4ish miles of trails, shiggy, and water crossings. Bring a change of clothes and there is possibility of rain so cum as unprepared as you normal would.


Bring:
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, March 15, 2023

BMH3 #342 – 3/18/2023: Womb Emancipation Trail

 






🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares, To sign up Follow this link! ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨ðŸš¨

 

BMH3 #342 – 3/18/2023: Womb Emancipation Trail


When:

Saturday, March Eighteenth, Twenty TwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go


Where:

Where: Spring Creek Nature Trail off of Dr Ann Snyder Dr 30.148590605818644, -95.56346789166967

Hares:

Womb Raider and Just Allison

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail will be 3-4 miles mostly shiggy with one manned beer check with some nice craft beers since we’re not complete assholes. Swimming doesn’t seem likely unless it really rains. Weather looks a bit nipply Sat and warm clothes are highly recommended for circle. I will also be bringing a propane heater. Not the one from the Christmas trail, a better one. There is a chance of a Wolf sighting but Wolves are nocturnal so we shall see..

Bring:

WATER, IT MIGHT BE SUPER NICE!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions. Just make sure you go to the south side of 1488 and park by the pond.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-