Featured Post

2022 HARE SIGNUPS!

      HEY HASHERS, WE NEED HARES!!!! We're opening up 2022 trails, so check out the spreadsheet linked below and sign up to Hare! First ...

Monday, November 21, 2022

BMH3 #335 -11/26/2022: Sister Melinda and Basic Bitch Save Thanksgiving!

 


🚨🚨🚨🚨We need hares for 12/24 ! !  This is the perfect excuse to ditch all that family that is in town for the holidays!  To sign up Follow this link!  2023 signups will be available as soon as all 2022 trails are filled!🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

BMH3 #335 -11/26/2022: Sister Melinda and Basic Bitch Save Thanksgiving!


When:

Saturday, November TwentySixth, TwoThousandTwentyTwo
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Cypress Creek Park at Timberlane
Approximately: 1906 Naplechase Crest Dr, Spring, TX 77373
30.04454512500469, -95.40362739036269

Hares:

Sister Melinda
Basic Bitch

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Parking in the park. 3.5 miles with lots of shiggy. More than likely a little bit of water.

Bring:

A change of clothes, and something warm for circle, you might get wet, it might get chilly
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Tuesday, November 08, 2022

BMH3 #334 - 11/12/2022: Save a Horse(Ride a Mole) Celebrates the Marine corps birthday

 


🚨🚨🚨🚨We need hares for 11/26(THE NEXT TRAIL) and 12/24 ! ! To sign up Follow this link!  2023 signups will be available as soon as all 2022 trails are filled!🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

BMH3 #334 - 11/12/2022: Save a Horse(Ride a Mole) Celebrates the Marine corps birthday


When:

Saturday, November Twelfth, Twenty-TwentyTwo
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

24202 Kuykendahl Rd, Tomball, TX 77389
30.115224485555969, -95.55388532310469
https://goo.gl/maps/aj49Q6WSGfFbWdoz8

Hares:

Save a Horse(Ride a Mole)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Park in Kroger parking near gas station and Taco Bell.
Trail is 3.69 miles, with lots of Shiggy!
2 Bier checks.
A to B, or A to A' according to how the last hares fucked us.
But anyhow, expect to get bloody. Expect to get wet. And most importantly expect to be disappointed by yours truly, as it's my Barfday!!

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Thursday, October 27, 2022

BMH3 #333 – 10/29/2022: WDYGO's BARFDAY TRAIL

 

 

BMH3 #333 – 10/29/2022: WDYGO's BARFDAY TRAIL


When:

Saturday, October Twenty-Ninth, Twenty Twenty Two
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

Meyer Park on the south side of Cypresswood Dr.
7700 Cypresswood Dr, Spring, TX 77379
30.007200685451969, -95.51977421786669
https://goo.gl/maps/mRdMQ4jqYrFSNnPM6

Hares:

Where Do You Get Off
Red Light Special

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Twinkle Toes: Do y'all have any notes from the hares?
WDYGO: Wear Orange
WDYGO: Spork is colorblind
Red Light: No water crossings. Shiggy socks. Dog friendly unless they are major squirrel chasers.
WDYGO: Runnable shiggy
WDYGO: And eat your vegetables


Bring:

WATER, IT IS very pleasant out!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Monday, October 10, 2022

BMH3 #332 – 10/15/2022: Ivanna and Temple Celebrate their 6th anniversary!!!!


 BMH3 #332 – 10/15/2022: Ivanna and Temple Celebrate their 6th anniversary!!!!


When:

Saturday, October 15th, 2022
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

CVS at 22614 Springwoods Village Pkwy, Spring, TX 77389
30.096097592871969, -95.44987918137669
https://goo.gl/maps/2T8ybMnsVkZUEh2p8

Hares:

Indiana Bones and The Temple of Poon
Ivanna Hairy Buttchug

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Come out this Saturday to celebrate the 6th anniversary of Ivanna making Indiana Bones an offer she couldn’t refuse. Thats right, 6 years since they eloped! There will be shiggy, water crossings, boob checks, dick checks, and alcohol…just like their bedroom 🤣 Trail will feel just as challenging as staying married so don’t miss this shitshow!

Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Tuesday, September 27, 2022

BMH3 #331 Homoglobins New Fiscal Year trail!

 

 

BMH3 #331    Homoglobins    New Fiscal Year trail!


When:

Saturday, October 1st
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Crafty Beer Check

Where:

Dead end of Denali Wilderness Pkwy, Conroe, TX 77384
30.267654976151669, -95.51821873072769
https://goo.gl/maps/jAmtjpQicem3XBSK8

Hares:

Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Go down the gravel-ish road, pay attention fuckers! There are some potholes but my low slung car made it so you can to. Trail is three miles or so, light water crossings.
Crafty beer check.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, September 14, 2022

BMH3 #330 – 09/17/22: Sixth Anal FLOCK YOU Hash!

 

BMH3 #330 – 09/17/22: Sixth Anal FLOCK YOU Hash!


When:

Saturday, September 17th
• Main Pack EARLY 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Nest

Where:

George Mitchell Preserve Flintridge Trailhead/ Flintridge Bike Trails
30.162931118665269, -95.51750834669169
https://goo.gl/maps/vvjW5Bgm3gJiJDpA7

Hares:

Dumpsterbaitor, Indiana Bones, Mouth Organ, Outside Cat and Womb Raider

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
It is time once again to preen your feathers and join your Flock leaders for the 6th Anal FLOCK YOU trail extravaganza!!!! There will be 3 (The Robin (Orange), the Dove (White) and the Blue Bird (Blue)) trails 1.5 to 2 miles each laid in different colors of flour. ALL Birds love a good Nest so ALL trails will start and end at a central Nest filled with Beautiful Birds, BEER, WATER so you don’t die, a drunk worm and snacks. Leave the Nest as many or as few times as you like. Expect Brass Monkey staples of thorns, shiggy and water crossings. Keep your eagle eyes out on trail for “lost” rubber duckies. Those who bring a rubber ducky back home to the Nest will get a special “REWARD”. Delicious hot food will be provided once all our little birdies return to the Nest. Wear your best feathers!!! Your inner Avian wants it so bad!!! Don’t make it sad by missing FLOCK YOU!!!


Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

BMH3 #329 – 09/03/2022: Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's AИAL Birfday Trail!




BMH3 #328 – 09/03/2022: Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's AИAL Birfday Trail!

When:

 Saturday, September 3, 2022
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Albury Trails Estates Recreational Center
30.068883, -95.579928
10819 Silver Shield Way, Tomball, TX 77375

Hares:

Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Ladies, Gentlemen, and others, we've survived another year!  And for those of you who have made it this far, your illustrious hares will now attempt to kill you off with our A
ИAL BIRFDAY TRAIL!  If you're expecting something amazing, go fuck yourself and come again another day.  Otherwise, you can expect 4-ish miles with shiggy, water crossings, scenic highway-adjacent touring, and most likely some fences that our eScouting did not show.  #ThanksGoogleMaps.  There will be a manned beer check, and lots of shit to complain about.  This is virgin territory with a virgin on-after that will not want to be missed!  See you there!  



Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork