We Need Hares for 9/12, 10/24 (HALLOWEEN!!!), and both trails in November! Let mismanagement know or Sign up here: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3 

BMH3 #433 - 08/29/2026 - Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones' AИAL Birfday Trail!

When: 

Saturday, August Twenty-Ninth, TwentyTwentySix

Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Alden Bridge Sports Park

4751 TX-242

The Woodlands, TX 77384

30.206059, -95.497783

6G43+G2 The Woodlands, Texas

https://maps.app.goo.gl/Zh1aus7xHeLUcVnm7

Hares: 

Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote From The Hare:

It’s the tiiiimeee

AH

Of the season

AH

When the sluts run dryY

Ok, well, that’s because it’s August, and it’s hot as balls.  So, what are we going to do?  We’re going to get drunk, call each other names, then go to a pool and make bad decisions into the wee(ner) hours of the morning.

That’s right friends, it’s that time of year again.  Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones present our AИAL BIRFDAY TRAIL!  Like always, you can expect 3+ miles of shiggy, at least one beer check (maybe more depending on, like, you know, things), and a RELAXING AS FUCK POOL 0N-AFTER!

But WAIT, THERE’S MORE!  Not only will there be a pool, with a hot tub, with bad decisions running rampant, but there will also be a taco bar with chips and queso.  YUMMMMMMM!

What do you need to bring?  Your own damn booze and a towel.  Also, RSVP, so the hosts know how many assholes they are cooking for.  Wow, what amazing people those Spork and Indiana Bones are.  Just fantastic. 

So, what do you need to do?

STEP 1: RSVP that you are cumming to enjoy Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones’ AИAL Birfday trail!

STEP 2: Pack a towel and your own beer, wine, moonshine, tub whiskey, whatever, that you will use for 0n-After.

STEP 3: Do an AMAZING trail, then head to the pool to swim and taco bar your face off!

And that’s it!  WOW!  Could not be easier… unless you are a lazy piece of shit that decides not to cum to this, which would be bad.  Don’t be bad.  Be good.  Be a hasher.  A good bad hasher that hashes.  Especially hashing this trail!

Cum one, cum all, YOU WON’T WANNA MISS IT!

 

Bring:

Water to drink! it is HOT again!

TOWEL and Swimsuit for the POOL 

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 

Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

A Shag bag, so you can have your stuff at the end!

Why: 

Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

Who do I look like, Spork?  Fucking put the address into your phone and get your own damn directions.

• Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
• Cocktor Spork's # (832) 372-5133
• KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BMH3 #432 08/15/2026 2 Menanite LIVEns things up!

 

We Need Hares for 9/12, 10/24(HALLOWEEN!!!), and both trails in November! Let mismanagement know or Sign up here: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3 

BMH3 #432    08/15/2026   2 Menanite LIVEns things up!(aka Don't Tell Coogs Hashers Not Trashers^2)

 

When: 

Saturday, August Fifteenth, TwentyTwentySix
• Main Pack 3PM show,3:30PM Go

Where:

403 Westbrook street, Pinehurst TX

 30.121237674137369, -95.65285546182769

https://maps.app.goo.gl/G7gKxS3VKXZFTRgVA 

Hares: 

2-Menanite

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARE: The "Dont tell Coogs" Hashers (Not Trashers)^2.

You Will get wet on trail!

If there are no scheduled showings:
POOL ENDING!!! BUT you have to leave the place CLEARNER(just copying what he sent me) then when you arrived!!!!

If a showing fucks thus up, start will be "before you get to my street", and we may loose the pool ending.

 

Bring:

Water to drink! it is HOT again!

TOWEL and Swimsuit for the POOL 
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

A Shag bag, so you can have your stuff at the end!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

 

BMH3 #431 08/01/2026 Short Cummingz and Just Stephanie Pool ON AFTER!

 

 

We Need Hares for the very next trail and beyond! Sign up here: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3 When its hot trails can be shorter!

 

BMH3 #431    08/01/2026    Short Cummingz and Just Stephanie Pool ON AFTER!

When: 

Saturday, August First, TwentyTwentySix
• Main Pack 3PM show,3:30PM Go

Where:

George Mitchell Preserve trailhead

at the end of Dr Ann Snyder Dr. The Woodlands, TX 77375 

https://maps.app.goo.gl/AUSGMjGMTe81enQG8

30.148811929877669, -95.56336417515669

 

Hares: 

Short Cummingz

Just Stephanie 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Cum join Just Stephanie for her first lay of a Brass Monkey trail! Short Cummingz is joining her, so there is a moderate chance of getting lost. It will be A to B, with a pool on after. 2-5 miles

Bring:

Water to drink! it is HOT again!

TOWEL and Swimsuit for the POOL 
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

A Shag bag, so you can have your stuff at the end!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

BMH3 #430 07/18/2026 - Workless Cocks Second Anal Reservoir ramble through a dicks

 

We Need Hares in August and beyond! Sign up here: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3 When its hot trails can be shorter!

 

BMH3 #430 07/18/2026 Workless Cocks Second Anal Reservoir ramble through a dicks, and POOL ON INAFTER!

When: 

Saturday, July Eighteenth, TwentyTwentySix
• Main Pack 3PM show,3:30PM Go

Where:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/i5CP15D6SdYk5aVa6

29.829703567882969, -95.61784664325369 

Hares: 

Workless Cock

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Workless Cock says "Oh man. We're gonna have a time out there... Two of the roads I need were closed for flooding today... Rainy looking week, so perhaps a sloshy good time!" ON AFTER On in/After will be at WORKLESS COCKS POOL!!!! SO BRING A TOWEL! Also they'll have snacks and probably be grillling!

Bring:

Water to drink! it is HOT again!

TOWEL and Swimsuit for the POOL 
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

A Shag bag, so you can have your stuff at the end!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

BMH3 #429 07/04/2026 The 4th of DILFs Trail!

  

We Need Hares in July and beyond! Sign up here: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3

 

BMH3 #429 07/04/2026 The 4th of DILFs Trail! 

When: 

Saturday, July Fourth-Twenty, TwentyTwentySix
• Main Pack 3PM show,3:30PM Go 

Where:

Water Control & Improvement District

23802 Glen Loch Drive, The Woodlands, TX  77380

(Southern End of Glen Loch Road)

(30.1134824, -95.4891605)

https://maps.app.goo.gl/25AqxxDN6qfvucvK8

Hares: 

Cocktor Spork and Ivanna Hairy Buttchug 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 

Ladies and Gents, Boys and Girls, people of all ages that can legally drink, it's time to get excited! This year, your hares, Cocktor Spork and Ivanna Hairy Buttchug will be laying you the FIRST AИAL DILF Trail! That's right, we've celebrated the womb, not it's time to celebrate the sperm! This was the closest trail to Father's Day available, so we grabbed it... and our dicks... and went for it!

*Jizz Hands*

Not only will we be laying the FIRST AИAL DILF Trail, it will also be on the 4th of July! So it will be a DILFs in Sparklerland celebration as well! Like Babes in Toyland, but less racism.

Will there be fireworks? 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Will there be sparklers?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Will there be bad decisions and a POOL ON AFTER?

YAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!

That's right, after our beautiful 4-5 mile shiggytastic trail, you can plan to cool down at the Maison de Hairy Poon (trademark pending). So cum on out to celebrate the DILFs, the fireworks, and the POOL on after! See you there, you won't want to miss it!

Bring:

Water! it is HOT again!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

A Shag bag, so you can have your stuff at the end!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

BMH3 #428 06/20/2026 Outside Cats Birthday Extravaganza!

 

We Need Hares in July and beyond! Sign up here: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3

 

BMH3 #428 06/20/2026 Outside Cats Birthday Extravaganza!

When: 

Saturday, June Twentieth, TwentyTwentySix
• Main Pack 3PM show,3:30PM Go

Where:

 Grogan's Mill Village Center

7 Switchbud Pl, The Woodlands, TX 77380 

30.14180084769469, -95.46983053871869

https://maps.app.goo.gl/PzBhrw52hLWt8QjZ8 

Hares: 

Outside Cat

Super Secret Surprise CoHare 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 

Outside Cat has a wonderful 3-5 mile trail extravaganza in store! Trail will be A to A'ish, so bring a shag bag!  You'll likely be getting wet! 

Bring:

Water! it is HOT again!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

A Shag bag, so you can have your stuff at the end!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

BMH3 #427 06/06/2026 Dim Reaper and Resting Boot Face's 6'6" Tall Person Trail.

 

 

 

 

We Need Hares in July and beyond! Sign up here: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3

 

BMH3 #427    06/06/2026 Dim Reaper and Resting Boot Face's 6'6" Tall Person Trail.

When: 

Saturday, June Sixth, TwentyTwentySix
• Main Pack 3PM show,3:30PM Go

Where:

Timarron Park & Sprayground

200 N Greenprint Cir, The Woodlands, TX 77375 

 https://maps.app.goo.gl/HYiSYUpy9gkorBzE7 

30.155146450747269, -95.55184647911269

Hares: 

Dim Reaper

Resting Boot Face 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 

A to B trail 

4.5-5 miles

Bring:

Water! it is HOT again!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

A Shag bag, so you can have your stuff at the end!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-