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2021 Brass Monkey Hares

HEY WANKERS, HARE SOME FUCKIN TRAILS!!!! We're opening up 2021 trails, so check out the spreadsheet linked below and sign up to Hare! F...

Sunday, October 10, 2021

BMH3 #306 – 10/16/2021: 101 Donations 10th Analversary!




When:

Saturday, October 16th, 2021
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

30.106937769677269, -95.42653518681169
Northwood Pines Park
https://goo.gl/maps/rUAgkR7tzmRjciRF9

Hares:

101 Donations

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
It's 101 Donations 10th Analversary of hashing! She's been taking all your donations for 10 years and it's time to release these donations back to the pack. Cum out and get yours!
I love all the pups, so trail will be dog friendly!
Trail will be shiggy, wet, and somewhere around 4 miles!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:


WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

BMH3 #305 – 10/02/2021: Homoglobins pre indigenous peoples day

 

When:

Saturday, October 2nd 2021
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

30.234811226926169, -95.4828691734269
1328 Farm to Market Rd 1488, Conroe, TX 77384
Northside of 1488, at wg Jones forest.

Hares:

Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Pre Columbus day brass monkey or pre indigenous peoples day.  Take your pick!  I discovered this trail! All are welcome!.
3.5 ish mile trail. Standard other brass monkey stuff. Ill have a beer and water check. Cum one cum all!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:


WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

BMH3 #304 – 9/18/2021:FIFTH ANAL FLOCK YOU, hared by The Flock

 

 



BMH3 #304 – 9/18/2021:FIFTH ANAL FLOCK YOU, hared by The Flock


When:

Saturday, September 18, 2021
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

30.093421547147869 -95.40576854457369
1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386
(***NOT Spring Creek Greenway Nature Center)

Hares:

Dumbsterbaitor, Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon, Outside Cat, Mouth Organ, and Womb Raider

Sidenote: 

HEY KNUCKLEHEAD, DO NOT GO TO THE SPRING CREEK GREENWAY NATURE CENTER!


FROM THE HARES:

 It is that glorious time of year when beautiful Birds swoop down and take over the hash!!!! Don’t miss your chance to show your feathers! All your favorite Birds (except one Special Bird that has migrated to some damn island… WE MISS YOU Red Light!) have flocked together to bring you another hash filled with avian themed bad decisions. There will be 3 trails of about 2 miles each to enjoy: the Canary (yellow marks), Bluebird (blue marks) and Dove (white marks). There will be Shiggy complete with thorns and water crossings. Experienced hash pup friendly. Trails will start and end at the Nest filled with the Flock, delicious beverages and snacks. Fly away from the Nest as few or as many times as you like. For circle we will be providing some hot food for you birds to cannibalize. Outside Cat will also be bringing back her infamous owl shaped Jello shot mold.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Thursday, September 02, 2021

BMH3 #303 – September 4th 2021: Cocktor Spork and Temple of Poon Celebrate their Birthdays!

 


 

BMH3 #303 – September 4th 2021: Cocktor Spork and Temple of Poon Celebrate their Birthdays!


When:

Saturday, September 4th 2021
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

30.11348927966169, -95.48916436458269
23902 Glen Loch Drive, The Woodlands,
TX  77380 (Deadend of Glen Loch Drive)

Hares:

Indiana Bone and the Temple of Poon
Cocktor Spork

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
HEY MONKEYS!





HEY WHAT?


 


HEY MONKEYS!


 


HEY WHAT?


 


GO FUCK YOURSELVES!  


 


But first, come to Cocktor Spork and Indiana
Bones’ BIRFDAY HASH!  That’s right, back
by UNpopular demand, the Cocktor Bones… Poon Spork…. Cocktor and the Temple of
Poon…. NO, scratch that last one…. Anyway, those two will be laying their
BIRFDAY trail on their ACTUAL BIRFDAY!
Although we share a birthday with Beyoncé as well, she will be unable to
make it this year.  What can you
expect?  3-4 miles of SHIGTASTIC
SHIGGY!  Water crossings, thorns, ups and
downs – emotionally and physically – a booze check, and a lazy as fuck socially
distant sit-in-your-fucking-chair-over-there circle.  Bring bug spray and sun screen – if you have
to pick one, burn the skin and fuck the mosquitos up.  Make sure to bring a change of clothes and shoes,
$5 for hashcash, and little to no self-esteem.
It’s easier that way.  It’s gonna
be awful, you won’t wanna miss it!

0n-0n Bitches!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why:

Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:


WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

BMH3 #302 – 08/21/2021 -BMH3# 302: Pogo's Memorial trail day

 

 

 BMH3 #302 – 08/21/2021 - Pogo's Memorial trail day


When:

Saturday, August 21st 2021
• Socially distanced, Do your own trail ready by Noon
• Main Pack 1:45PM show, 2:15PM(gotta hit that BC) Go
• Manned Beer Check from 1PM to 3PM

Where:

30.08623656472869, -95.37171336904569
easement near 27998 Rocky Heights Dr, Spring, TX 77386

Hares:

Can't Stop Inhaling (CSI)

Sidenote:

 Due to the current covid spike, CSI is laying this trail covid quarantine style

FROM THE HARES:

Parking down the dirt road runs the risk of tickets or towing, so park on pavement. In recognition of that bitch Delta stalking us all, I am encouraging a run/walk with your bubble. You will do what you want, but the beer check will be manned 1-3pm. Trails will be marked in crepe paper and the turkey-eagle split marked in flour. Eagle.will be a shiggy Gauge Gallop thru game trails. The Turkeys will get two passes on the beer check.
It will be hot, but you will have time in Spring creek to cool you down. There will be NO CHECKS. Enjoy the shade, creeks and pretty views.
The Hare will serve you premium beers at the check and then scamper off. I hope that you will come raise  a toast to Pogo, one of the best hash hounds. He laid trail near here three months before his passed at 17 years of age.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:


WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Thursday, July 29, 2021

08/07/2021 BMH3# 301 Cougarrand takes the Monkeys Swimming


BMH3 #301 – 8/7/2021: Cougarrand takes the Monkeys Swimming


When:

Saturday, 8/7/2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
Unmanned beercheck


Where:

2-Coogs-A-Night Farm.
403 Westbrook, Pinehurst, TX 77362
30.121574301012269, -95.65299576832169

Hares:

Cougarrand and Two Mennonite

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
A to A trail. ~3 Mile trail, SHIGGY! At least one beer check. Crotch deep water crossings!
Pool ending! Dogs are welcome, as long as they don’t try to “save all of the swimmers” 😂😂.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 

A drinking vessel for monkeys at circle.
A swimsuit, and a towel, because its a pool ending!!!!!



Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Monday, July 12, 2021

BMH3 #300 – 7/24/2021: BRASS MONKEY H3 300th CAMPOUT!!!


 

BMH3 #300 – July 24th: BRASS MONKEY H3 300th CAMPOUT!!!

****PAY AND REGO BY 9PM FRIDAY JULY 23rd if you want to us to order you food****

Watch the comments below the post and the facebook/signal groups for day of updates!


Well, holy shit, 300 hundred trails! It seems like it was just yesterday that we were just a little baby kennel making jokes about the inverted chicken wing, and naked hashing through suburban neighborhoods.  In celebration of hitting 300 trails, we are having a campout! Saturday July 24th! Yeah, we know it’ll be hot, but we are at a super shady campsite, and the trail will feature an amazing swimming hole for us to frolic in! Oh, and we’ve got an extra special 300 trails gimme!  Also, did I mention dinner??! We’re providing dinner Saturday night!

Cost will be $20 for Trail Beer, Circle Beer, Dinner, and Gimme. OR $10 staying for trail only.

So head on over and rego at https://forms.gle/mJ3oM4D1RkkHXTB59
And don’t forget to paypal witkopg@yahoo.com your $20.

Who's Cumming? https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XCJXGgz5lGaPZESqiUUr7y45VEp0L2tf5JrweEVg90c/edit?usp=sharing


Make sure to read everything below to learn all the nitty gritty details!

When:

Saturday, July 24th, 2021
• Before Noon - show up, setup camp
• Noon - Pack off
• ~1PM - Extra long SWIMMING Hole beer check
• ~3PM(or until we’re done with the beer) - second half of trail
• ~4PM - Circle!
• 6PM - Dinner
Sunday, July 25th,2021
•whenever you want -  Wake up, pack up. GTFO
• Brunch somewhere?


Where:

Four Notch Hunter Camp
Forest Service Rd 213, Huntsville, TX 77340
30.646090446094156, -95.42324424702711

Hares:

Brass Monkey Mismanagement

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Trail will be a wonderful National Forest deep shiggy trail! Bugs! Creeks! Hogs! An amazing swimming hole!  Trail is expected to be between 5 and 6 challenging shiggy miles. Make sure to hydrate beforehand, and fill your camelbak up, it’s gonna be hot! We will be taking a nice long break to swim and frolic in a wonderful little lake!  Make sure to carry or wear clothes you can swim in, just in case muggles happen to have found our spot.  

FROM MISMANAGEMENT:

This is a PRIMITIVE campsite, no water, no trashcans, no bathroom(EVERYBODY DIGS!).  It is also a public campground, there may be civilians around, behave accordingly, dont get the police called on us!  Bring your camp dishes to cut down on trash, and be sure to bring a trashbag and take your trash with you when you leave.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Also, bring your camping gear, BECAUSE IT IS A CAMPOUT!!
**THE CAMPSITE IS TOTALLY PRIMITIVE, IT HAS NO WATER OR BATHROOM**

So bring a shovel, and extra water!
Saturday lunch, and sunday breakfast
Dishes/silverware!
Trashbag - there’s no trashcans, and we don’t want to deal with yours, so haul it out yourself.

Why: 

Because We’ve laid 299 awesome trails, and we’re gonna lay 299 more!

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Ok, fine, since it’s way out in the boonies, and your phone probably won’t work, I’ll put something.
FROM HOUSTON,
Head north on I45.
Take Exit 102, go right at the traffic circle onto 1375
Left on 75
Right on 2296
Right on Four Notch Road
Left on FSR 213
Camp will be on the left in about a quarter mile.
You should really navigate yourself.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
Twinkles #: 661.342.1679

0n-0n,

-=Twinkle Toes=-