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2021 Brass Monkey Hares

HEY WANKERS, HARE SOME FUCKIN TRAILS!!!! We're opening up 2021 trails, so check out the spreadsheet linked below and sign up to Hare! F...

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

BMH3 #295 – 5/15/2021: Save a Horse Ride a Mole, Birthday Trail RERELoaded

 


Announcement!

WE NEED HARES NEXT TRAIL!!!!! and over the summer!   For full instructions click here.  or go directly to the Hare Spreadsheet

Also, We have a signal group chat.   Join with this link!

Thanks! 

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #295 – 5/15/2021: Save a Horse Ride a Mole, Birthday Trail RERELoaded

When: Saturday, May 15th, 2021

• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Do Your Own Trail: "1PM"-ish (Read Below!) - 2:69pm
• Manned Beer Check for main pack

Where: 

Rubio Park
27402 Whispering Maple Way, Spring, TX 77386
30.082424594133116, -95.3507248680412

Hares: 

Save a Horse (Ride a Mole)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail will be 3-4 miles, with boatloads of water crossings to keep you wet and wild for the duration of the gangbang. There will be a bier check, there will be shiggy, but you must bring your own prelube and post lube.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares want, they can have an unofficial circle.


What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Tuesday, April 27, 2021

BMH3 #294 – May 1st 2021: Save a Horse Ride a Mole, Birthday, and TXIH Pity Party

 


Announcement!

WE NEED HARES NEXT TRAIL!!!!! and over the summer!   For full instructions click here.  or go directly to the Hare Spreadsheet

Also, We have a signal group chat.   Join with this link!

Thanks! 

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 BMH3 #294 – Save a Horse Ride a Mole, Birthday, and TXIH Pity Party

When: 

Saturday, May 1st, 2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Do Your Own Trail: "1PM"-ish (Read Below!) - 2:69pm
• Manned Beer Check for main pack


Where: 

Rubio Park
27402 Whispering Maple Way, Spring, TX 77386
30.082424594133116, -95.3507248680412

Hares: 

Save a Horse (Ride a Mole)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Gonna miss out on all the drunken debauchery the weekend of Interhash? Have no fear, you can have your turn at the gangbang we're gonna throw out in Spring!
Yes, you heathens, we are still laying trail for Brass Monkey on May 1st. It will be the Interhash Pity Party you were gonna host all by your lonesome at home.
Trail will be 3-4 miles, with boatloads of water crossings to keep you wet and wild for the duration of the gangbang. There will be a bier check, there will be shiggy, but you must bring your own prelube and post lube.


Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares want, they can have an unofficial circle.


What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

Thursday, April 15, 2021

BMH3 #293 – April 17, 2021: Homoglobin

 

Announcement!

We need some hares next month, and over the summer!   For full instructions click here.  or go directly to the Hare Spreadsheet

Also, We have a signal group chat.   Join with this link!

Thanks! 

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #293: Homoglobin

When: 

Saturday, April 17, 2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Do Your Own Trail: ~11:30AM (BC not guaranteed if you're early)
• UnManned Beer Check


Where: 

 30.092374471209745, -95.45227763580921
Dead end to the East of Springwoods Village Pkwy and E Mossy Oaks Rd
https://goo.gl/maps/EVyPvGes1yuai4Mq6



Hares: Homoglobin


Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:  Trail is the current A to A ish.
One beer/water/white claw check,  not manned.
Bring chairs for circle if you wish.
High of 68 so it won't be warm,  dress accordingly for after trail. No hash cash, same Rona rules in place so bring your own beer. There will be some snacks for sharing, with wipes for cleanliness.
Dog Friendly
People Friendly

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares want they can hold an unofficial circle.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-



Sunday, March 28, 2021

BMH3 #292 – April 3, 2021: Ivanna and Indiana's April Fools Trail.


When: 

Saturday, April 3, 2021 2PM
• Do Your Own Trail: After main pack
• Manned Beer Check: Beer check is a normal Brass Monkey beer check. It's a turtle check.

Where:

10857 Kuykendahl Rd, 77382 - West corner of parking lot
30.1776568, -95.5394872
https://goo.gl/maps/KFqoBua135EhC1d26

Hares: 

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon and Ivanna Hairy Buttchug

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Dress like a fool. Act like a fool.  Or bring a fool.  Expect everything you like about a Brass Monkey trail......thorns, blood, mud and water.  Plus some extra April fools hare shenanigans.  If you have been missing spider webs in your face.  We have that.  If you have been missing the need to fall on your ass as you slip in the mud.  We have that too.  Trail will be 4-5 ish miles of glorious shiggy


Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, March 17, 2021

BMH3 #291 – March 20, 2021: Speed Bumps


 

When: Saturday, 3/20/2021

• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from Noonish to 3ish


Where:

100 Acre Woods Trail Parking
14234 W Cypress Forest Dr, Houston, TX 77070
29.984173083359316, -95.5772364667112

https//maps.app.goo.gl/qjfs9YBeRonc1H1o6



Hare: 

Speed Bumps

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Expect a 3-4 mile trail, with one or more shallow water crossings and a beer check (Bring your own Water!).  I’m thinking it will be dog friendly, but they must stay on leash in the parks.  Otherwise, a typically BM quarantine trail.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into maps and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.
• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, March 03, 2021

BMH3 #290 -Saturday March 6th 2021- Womb Raiders Birthday Trail


 

 BMH3 #290 - Womb Raiders Birthday Trail


When: Saturday, March 6th 2021

• Do Your Own Trail: "Noon"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from 1PM to 4:30ish

Where: 

Dirt parking lot on Old Riley Fuzzel Rd, Spring, TX 77386
google claims the address is 1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386, but no promises
30.093368, -95.405664

Hares: Womb Raider and Temple of Poon


Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Indiana Bones and I will be laying a pleasant Spring romp over the woods and thru the creek for my Birthday! There will be two loops of about 2 miles with a central start/BC/end (aka The Nest). BC will be manned from about 1-4:30 ish with some tasty craft beer selections and probably some seltzers for those so inclined. Expect lots of shiggy, a few water crossing and maybe a touch of paved trail. Trail should be fine for experienced hash dogs. Bring chairs for socially distant after trail hang out. I will be bringing a few single serve snacks to share but BYOB for the end.


Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.
• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Thursday, February 18, 2021

BMH3 #289 – Saturday, February 20, 2021 - Twinkles Birthday and Brass Monkey 11 year analversary!

 


BMH3 #289 – Twinkles Birthday and Brass Monkey 11 year analversary!

When:

Saturday, February 20, 2021
• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from ~1pm to 3:30ish(or after the main pack leaves, we'll leave a few beers for any later hounds)

Where:

Montgomery County Nature Preserve Trailhead
1045 Pruitt Rd
The Woodlands, TX 77380
https://goo.gl/maps/TnSYoGWE6xdJMqcX9
30.111916376684594, -95.4518428552178


Hare: Twinkle Toes

Note FROM THE HARE:

Happy Birthday Fuck Meeeeeee, Happy Birthday Fuck MeeeeeeeeEEEEeeeeEEE!!!!!!!!
In proper Twinkle Toes fashion I planned and scouted a glorious 8+ mile shiggy trail, then hell froze over, no literally, it snowed, and froze, in Houston.  So now I've abreviated my previous plan, to a trail somewhere in the range of 3-6 miles.  Depending on what's available in stores, trail will be laid in some combination of flour(maybe orange if the snow is sticking around), toilet paper, creepypaper, or bioflagging. If the stores aren't a total shitshow we'll have an assortment of local craft beers for the beercheck, if they are, It'll be wicket awesome for everyone.  Also, bring your camp chairs for post trail socially distant hangout(byob).

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.




FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-