BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 228: Twinkle Toes Out, Outside Cat In
When: Saturday, October 20th, at **2:00pm!** NOTE THE EARLIER START TIME!
Where: Twinkle Toes' Old House, Outside Cat's New Lair
18 South Rainforest Court
The Woodlands, TX 77380
Hares: IT'S A FUCKING MONKEY MILE!
Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.
Go north on I-45 or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Exit 73 for Rayford/Sawdust road. Turn left. Go for a few lights until you get to where Sawdust turns hard left at the Burger King / Starbucks / CVS intersection and turn left with it. Follow that and turn at your second light, Sawmill Road. Go all the way to end the of Sawmill Road and turn left. Go to your first stop sign, and the house on your right directly on that corner next to you is the start. Bam. Look for assholes.
FROM MONKEYLORE: Once upon a time, there was a hasher named Twinkle Toes who liked to live life with a laissez-faire attitude. Every now and then, when he deemed it necessary, he would get a job. However, Twinkle Toes, being a glutton for punishment, never wanted to work near his house in The Woodlands. He first worked downtown, but that was not far enough, so he said FUCK YOU to that job.
For a while, Twinkle didn’t feel like working again, so he didn’t, ‘cause he’s Twinkle. Then, a while later, he decided it was time for another job, but this time it was gonna be like Bellaire, or Katy, or some shit equally as terrible on the westside. He worked there for a while, but that was not far enough, so he said FUCK YOU to that job.
Time passed and people wondered if Twinkle would ever work again, which he didn’t, for a really long time. Then, one day Twinkle announced, “I found a job!” People wondered, “Where is this job? Clear Lake? Atascocita? College Station?” “No!” said Twinkle, “It’s in Minnesota!” Because of course it is, you sick sick bastard. So now it is time to wish our Twinkle goodbye for one year as he heads north just in time for winter to do studies about icicles in beards.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Twinkle may be leaving us for a year, but he will not be leaving us empty handed! Outside Cat will be moving up here to the great and far northside, where she will no doubt become accustomed to living the suburban housewife lifestyle. So cum one, cum all, cum everywhere to celebrate a big warm and sticky goodbye to Twinkle Toes, and a big warm welcum to Outside Cat!
We will do this in a plain and simple fashion and do a good ‘ol fashioned MONKEY MILE! That means you’ll be drinking 40 ounces to freedom style where you get one monkey, one mile, and no vomit allowed! :-) This also means you need to accurately RSVP so we know how many fucking monkeys to get! Ya heard?
What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141