Thursday, December 20, 2007

Lakers....Master List...etc...

Just 4 weeks until we throw down at TEX MEX. What that means is it's time to start getting the Master List together. I will post something on the Tex Mex blog to get the List started.

I know it’s been a while since my last post, but better late than never. I was strictly instructed this morning by a large Columbian gentleman to "update my fucking blog already". Might I add this large Columbian gentleman is the gayest person I know and likes to smear feces on his face and dance naked in his garage.

Moving on the Lakers have turned out to be a pleasant surprise and if they continue to play this way they are a Shawn Marion away from being a true contender. With the new found confidence of youngsters like Jordan Farmar and Andrew Bynum they look like they might be able to make a little run this year. Even Sasha Vujacic has been a surprise this year, maybe that's because he actually started make the shots he’s taking, nevertheless I am impressed and I hope he keeps it up.

Today I am going to by my first motorcycle I am pretty excited. It's a nice custom bike made by Yamaha. Yesterday my co-workers decorated my office for my birthday. It was pretty damn funny and Nick would have especially gotten a kick out of the theme...

Brown table covers,Toilet paper, toilet paper seats, and then there's my window of poop and they even went so far as to rub brown candy on the toilet seats to look like poop. It was kind of disturbing, but damn funny.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Shit Or Get Off The Pot!!!!

As we all know it looks as if there is a good chance that one of the great players of my time will no longer wear a Lakers uniform. As die hard Lakers fan the emotional roller coaster that is the Lakers is becoming incessantly unnerving. I obviously don’t want Kobe to go, but if he is leaving I wish they could just get it done and get him out of here so the Lakers and Lakers fans can get on with their lives and continue to watch Jerry Buss and his family run the Lakers into the ground. If Kobe goes the only upside will be the possibility of a Lottery pick in some up and coming draft. There were so many possible changes the Lakers could have made to appease the situation, but instead the Lakers ownership did nothing. Kobe is by no means perfect, but he wants to win and obvious that is not a priority to the Lakers right now. Kobe was supposedly told by Mitch Kupchak and Jerry Buss that they were committed to building a team capable of a championship around him, but any fan can look at the roster right now and know that isn’t the case. Where’s Jerry West when you need him?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

And the new musical theme of Tex Mex is...

I'd like to thank everyone for the overwhelming response (probably my fault because I never update my blog). It's safe to say that we have made some good choices this year that truly fit in with the past Kimchi themes of having great music mixed in with awesomely cheesy music. And the winners are....


The Bee Gees

NBN and I will be sure to come up with some mind blowing compilations until then stay drunk!

Friday, October 19, 2007

Musical Theme for Tex Mex

In the past we have had such great artists as...

Hall and Oates:

David Bowie:




...and the list goes on; however now it is time to choose the new musical King or Queen of Tex Mex. No one has come close to topping the OG kings, Hall and Oates. Their music filled the halls of the Mesa Inn as the first ever Hall and Oates Hash was ran. Now, we need some new music to motivate us in our drunken ways and keep the crazy Tex Mex times rollin...Now who's with me?

Friday, September 07, 2007

Monday, September 03, 2007

Footbal is back!!!

Finally football is back and the Pac-10 had a great weekend only losing one game. I was happy to see my UCLA Bruins dominated Stanford, as they should have. Also the #1 USC Trojans beat the Idaho Vandals in a not so impressive fashion. I'm sure the Trojans are going o step it up when they play #20 Nebraska this weekend otherwise it's going to be a short bid at another National title.
I don't think I have ever been this excited about College football. Maybe it's because the 2 teams I root for have a chance to meet late in the season, undefeated, with some serious BCS implications or is it because my pro team may have an off year. Probably a little bit of both, but I still couldn't pass up the chance to see my team, the K.C. Chiefs, play Houston in the season opener. I was able to get my hands on some nose bleed tickets to the game this weekend and hopefully this will be one of the games the Chiefs win. This will be ESPN's first pro-football game so it should be a blast. Larry Johnson should have good game and I am looking forward to seeing Bowe (rookie wr out of LSU) play. Until next time...this blog has been updated biatch!!!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Rockies vs. Cubs

Here's the deal people my wife and I are going to be in Colorado the weekend of the 11th which is just around the corner. NBN, ESPN, and I are going to go see a baseball game at Coors Field on Sunday the 12th. If anyone else is interested come on down, the more the merrier. We are planning on making a day of it by going up there a while before the game so we can have some beers at Breckenridge Brewery which happens to be right across the street from the stadium

Monday, July 16, 2007

Fun in DC

This past weekend I happened to be in Washington D.C. on business. I worked all day Saturday and once I was done I decided to head back to my hotel and hang out. I was on the phone with NBN and he mentioned that DC was a great hashing town because there are so many groups there that there’s always something going on. By way of Late Night Drive Thru with the help of Assgagger I was able to link up with some DC hashers at Millie and Al’s bar which happened to be the last stop of a pub crawl that started at noon. Millie and Al’s was one of a bunch of bars on 18th street. It was a freakin mad house down there. I felt like I was in Mexico. 18th street is a huge strip of bright lights, bars, 24 hour food places and no god damn parking. I drove around for quite a while looking for parking and trying to call LNDT. While I was circling I probably saw 15 or 20 people get pulled over and 4 or 5 people get towed, all in all that area was pretty interesting. I almost parked in this lot off the strip, but it looked like a scene from the Sopranos. There was a well dressed man off to the side with his cronies doing all the work. I decided I would hold off plus they were charging 15 bucks and you couldn’t park there to late.
I finally got a hold of LNDT and she was able help out. LNDT pointed me to a public parking garage that I had only driven by 10 times or so. It’s one of those tricky places that you would never find unless you lived there or knew someone that lived there. It’s off the strip and down an alley and there are no signs I would have never discovered it in a million years. The whole parking structure was packed and it seemed as if all the parking spaces were smaller than normal spaces. I had an Impala for a rental so I was thinking to my self how great it would be to return a damaged rental care then GOD swooped down in the form of a 40 year old Indian (from India) man guided me to a handicapped parking space with plenty of room. I think it was a fitting parking space for me being that I am Donnie the Retard. I was assured that I wouldn’t get towed and I was off.
Millie and Al’s was a packed house and because there were hashers there they had my favorite drink in the world….FREE BEER. I mingled with the local hashers and everybody seemed to love my name. I think I got asked to sing my song a billion times and I had it sung to me a billion more times. There were even debates on whose version was correct….is it “8lb melon head” or “8lb watermelon head”….is the final line “Hi, my name is Donnie” or “Hi, my name is Donnie I like tater tots”. All in all it was quite amusing especially since everyone had been drinking for 7 or 8 hours. I was there for a little over an hour then I left with LNDT, Ass Spelunker, Hoover Damn (don’t know why she was there I thought she live in the Springs), and another guy whose name I can’t recall to go to a house party.
I think we got to the party to late because everyone was already trashed and I had just missed some flip cup. I tried to get some people to play, but no one felt up to it so I hung out and drank some beers. I met this one hasher I can’t remember her name, but she was mean and sarcastic so we got along swimmingly. She was one of those people who would talk shit about people even though they we right there it’s like she thought they couldn’t hear her. I thought it was funny. She was also obsessed with some pasta salad that she had made. It was in one of those gigantic Tupperware bowls. She was a pretty small girl but she had that big ass bowl in her lap and she was going to town. I guess she was having a “Lay off I’m starving” moment. She actually said and I quote, “this pasta salad is so good I want to go lie on that blanket and have someone pour it all over me.” No joke I was cracking up.
I also meet this guy named Tony who looked just like Steve Carell (the guy from The Office and Anchorman). He sounded just like him and he was pretty damn funny too. Tony had this weird tradition when he came over to this particular house; he had to cook Bacon Grilled cheese. Don’t ask me why. I hung out and drank a couple more beers with him while he cooked a butt load of bacon and made sandwiches. Later I had a couple Bacon Grilled cheese, sobered up and drove back to the hotel. It was a low key hash evening, but I had had a great time. Thanks for the idea NBN, Assgagger thanks for getting me the right phone numbers and LNDT thanks for leading me around. This mothafuckin blog has been updated BITCHES!!!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Yellow Jackets vs. Energy Drinks


When attending a hash weekend every hasher at one time or another has come to a point where they are running ragged and need a little pick me up. We've all been there and a while back my pick me up of choice was the Yellow jacket which could be purchased at almost any convenience store or gas station. Those bad boys would do the trick, but coming down off of them was no joke. You feel like you just drank a bunch of caffeine, smoked some crack, and did a couple lines (not that I know what doing any drugs like that is like) then you crash and burn. That coupled with being hung over can be a very painful experience.

Exibit A: A couple years back Espn, NBN, and I went to the Virginia Interhash. It was your standard hash weekend with camping and lots of beer as you can imagine. Well day two came around and NBN, Espn, and I were sucking all motivation had left our bodies. Then we told ourselves No!!! We will not let or hangovers conquer us so we busted out the Yellow jackets. We each took two, which in hind sight was pretty retard considering we already knew the after affects of booze and those crack pills. All I can say is by 10 pm Espn was dressed like a pimp, I had a red wig and strapless dress on and NBN was dressed in blow up ballerina outfit (he looked like he was pushing about 400, it was hot). Regardless the evening continued and we played every drinking game known to man, participated in a talent show, watched some topless boxing, saw a Hasher named Buck-a-fufalo try to hump numerous people while butt naked(normal behavior for him), and ended by a camp fire, bullshitting, and passing liquor around. All in all it was great night that would not have been possible with out the help of Yellow Jackets. Espn and I retired around 4am and NBN crawled into the tent about 6am, but we had to be up 830am because NBN had a flight to catch and that is when the wrath of the Yellow Jacket finally took its toll. I wasn't feeling great but I could see my partners in crime were hurting pretty bad.

We packed up and were set to hit the road when ESPN looked up me with that special look and blew chunks at my feet. That was our queue to get going. Now the first 10 mile of this trip took forever because of multiple puke stops for Espn, then NBN started feeling left so he began contributing. The second stop the car hadn't even come to a complete stop when ESPN began puking out the window. Seconds later NBN threw himself half way out the window and started yelling for his buddy Ralph. For the next couple mile they alternated yakking then we were off and moving. That was the last time we took Yellow Jackets and drank heavily. Lesson learned. Now it's time to move on to greener pastures.

This is where energy drinks I have used energy drinks many times to keep me going and I have never had symptoms like when we used Yellow jackets. Now I am not saying you don't feel it the next morning, but the after affects are nowhere near as fierce. This is why I believe energy drinks will be helpful for this coming BFE. NBN won't take anymore 4 hour naps, ESPN won't need some "alone" time which is code for a nap, and I won't get tired. So people, for right now energy drinks are a go for BFE. What does everyone else think? Which is better?

Friday, May 18, 2007

Master List!!!

BFE is now exactly two weeks away and it is time to compile the master list so we know what we need.

1. Boom box
2. Beer Pong table (everything that comes with balls, net, cup triangle etc...)
3. CD's(Hall and Oates, Average White Band, Jamiroqui)
4. Brass Monkey equipment (OE and OJ).
5. Cards
6. Poker chips (for morning poker)
7. Poker table
8. Money for Lip Lock Me and Humidor
9. Boones Farm
10. Cigars
11. Sunscreen(unless you're Mexican like NBN)
12. Emergen C
13. Granny panties
14. Mirrored aviator glasses
15. Hostage gnome
16. Dice
17. Bratwurst
18. Buns
19. Mustard
20. Pineapple Margarita Parts (Tequila, etc....)
21. Tent
22. Grill
23. Carne Asada
24. Tortillas
25. 2-3 jugs of water
26. 2-3 jugs of gatorade
27. Jockey Box
28. Keg of Dos Equis
29. Limes
30. Cups (make sure they are right size for beer bong)
31. Paper plates
32. Ice
33. Sleeping bags
34. Air matress
35. Pillows
36. Chairs
37. TP (just in case)
38. Toiletries
39. Bar
40. Tapatio
41. Clothes
42. Happy Shirts
43. Napkins or paper towels
44. Trash bags
45. Energy Drinks so NBN doesn't take any 4 hour naps
46. Snacks that go good with beer(Pretzels..etc)
47. water balloon launcher and water balloons for human beer pong

That's it for now feel free to add stuff....

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Official BFE Newsletter # 2

There has been a disturbing lack of enthusiasm with the planning of BFE. Lets get motivated people because this is going to be the best BFE yet.

1. First who all is coming so we split up the Master List and make sure we have enough sick little monkeys coming to participate in the Brat toss, Beer Pong, and Flippy Cup. If you are thinking of not coming you are wrong, you know you are. I have heard all the lame excuses I can take such as: “I can't come because I'm too Jewish", "I can't come because I'm pregnant", "I can't come because I am gay and I live in Philadelphia", "I can't come because I have to go to NTC, hey have you seen my turkey baster and a jar of Vaseline laying around". Blah Blah Blah

2. I know NBN is taking care of reserving the KEG...I am guessing we are going to stick with tradition and go Mexican with some tasty and delectable Dos Equis. The question is should we go Amber or Special Lager?

3. Are we going to make another attempt at playing human beer pong. If we don't do the least we could is use it to bring the balloon launcher to have a little fun. Oh dear lord we could use the launcher for the Brat toss that way no one is safe...muhhahahaha!

4. What's our musical theme going to be obviously Hall and Oates will be incorporated, but we need something good this year? Any Idea's?

5. If you really truly care about BFE then send any and all donations to the "Brownie's a flaming Homo-sexual fund". You can find donation drop offs at your local Air Force recruiter.

"I think I'm walking on air...So much in love I can't tell what I'm saying...There'll be no running away...You and I won't be apart again...I know in my heart that we can start again...Wait for the summer...When love's in the air...You won't be sorry...You answered my prayer"


Friday, April 13, 2007

Leaving on a Jet Plane!!!

The hour is near and soon I will be off to Colorado to freeze my ass off and drink some beer with my hetero-lifmate, his awesome wife, and all you crazy kimchi assholes...wooohoooo!!!!!!!! Then tomorrow comes the Platte Road challenge, 12 bars 2.48 miles, I'm gonna put my heart into it and god willing I will finish alongside my kimchi brethren. C-4 I sent you my itinerary but just in case you check this first my plane comes in at 7:44pm I am not checking bags so I should be off the plane pretty quick. I can't wait to make C4 and NBN's basement bedroom smell like a giant fart after a long night of drinking. Until 7:44 pm I bid you all ado.

Friday, March 30, 2007

Good vs.Evil Part 2

I am happy to say that the UCLA Bruins have not disappointed with their second consecutive run to NCAA Final Four. They look ahead to the very team that nearly destroyed them last year in the title game. Evil is lurking and the Sith is on the rise...there is a great disturbance in the NCAA force and only Obi-wan Howland and his band of Bruins have a chance at thwarting Darth Maul Donovan and his evil Gators. This is a battle for the ages and shall go down in NCAA lore. As long as the Bruins use the force in their favor, unlike they did last year, they should have a chance at beating the Gators who hale from the SEC (Sith Evil-warlord Conference). Bruins may your defense be swift and your 3-pointers fall like rain. GO BRUINS! be continued


Thursday, March 22, 2007

Good vs.Evil

Tonight the ultimate struggle between good and evil will take place. Obi-wan Howland and his team of intergalactic UCLA Bruins will take on the evil Pitt Panthers and their leader Darth Dixon. This should be a battle of epic proportions!


Can the Bruins shutdown defense hold down the Panthers? Will Good prevail or will the Dark Side take hold of March madness??????? To Be Continued....

Friday, March 09, 2007

Brass Monkey H3????

Lately I have been tossing around some ideas with NBN and Espn about trying to start hash in the Woodlands/Spring area which is located north of Houston. It would be something simple, but I would need some help getting it going. I think I have found a kind of silent partner, but nothing is solid yet. Part of the reason I want to do this is I enjoy hashing, but I haven’t been doing as much hashing as of late because the closest hashes can be a bit of drive. The H4 and Mosquito Hashes are some great people; however it still takes me 45 minutes or longer to get to a hash for the most part. I figured as long as I don't step on any toes, which I don't plan to do, it might turn out pretty good if we can get some hashers together.
Now I was thinking of maybe doing a bi-weekly run opposite the Mosquito hash, and because the H4 run on Sunday it shouldn't interfere with their run. This would also enable me to support the H4 and Mosquito hashes which is something I would like to do. These are just some ideas I am throwing around. One of the things I need most is people in the area that might be interested. That's where all you hashers come in...anyone know any hashers in the Woodlands, Spring or Conroe areas that might be interested? If you do and you could put us in touch that would be awesome. Also, I wanted to know what you think of some logos that NBN put together for me. Any comments or ideas would be welcome. We thought the main mascot should be a forty and we named him 8-ball for obvious reasons. ONON

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Houston 1500th Beer Pong Kings!!!

Red Foreskin and I owned some ass the first night of the 1500th weekend going undefeated at beer pong. I didn't know if what to expect out of Red, but he came in with a splash (get it "A Splash") and we never looked back. I hope to bring my A game to Platte Road Challenge, but I don't know if the magic between Red and I could ever be duplicated. Forgive the picture I had to strike an Ass Gagger pose because she is a loser for not even coming by for a beer even though she was in Houston at the time. The weekend was pretty awesome especially because I actually started running a bit before hand so the run on Saturday wasn't bad at all. I actually got more of a work out afterwards when Bloody, Butt Pirate and I plated 5 butts. If you don't know the game it's one of those very simple throw the ball against the wall games that you played in elementary school. Regardless it was a good time and we all got to ride on school buses to the start point. I can honestly say it was the first time I ever got drunk on a school bus. All in all the weekend was pretty fun, but it would have been better with more Kimchi representation.

Other than that things are going well in the land of steers and queers. Lately Espn and I have been trying to workout more mostly by running. I forgot how good you feel after a nice run. I'm just trying to get in good enough shape so I'm not always the chubby guy in the back of the hash. I want to be the Chubby guy that runs occasionally and doesn't always finish last, although finishing last guarantees you at least one down down. Blog updated Biatches!!!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Who am I?

If you can name this blogger....."I will update when I want or when I get tired of hearing your whinning ass bitches". By the way it's spelled whining(I am surprised NBN didn’t catch that).First one to guess get's a Brass Monkey.

I, unlike the blogger in question don't care and actually enjoy the comments about my lack of updating. NBN's latest rant on my lack of updating was quite amusing and in a weird way made me feel special. I apologize for not updating my blog in a while, but nothing of interest has been happening as of late besides the Lakers sucking balls and the unfortunate passing of my Grandmother-in-law. I am counting the days until the Platte Road Challenge and in the mean time I will be attending H4's 1500 in about a week in a half. I plan to show these Houstonites how we get down Kimchi style (brass monkey's and beer pong). Unfortunately I will not get to share this Hash experience with my beautiful wife because she will be in Long Beach paying tribute to her Grandmother who recently passed away. Everyone drink a beer or pour out a little of your 40 oz in memory of our fallen homies and Grandma Lucy Sievers. Through all this ESPN is doing well and misses everyone. This blog has now been updated BITCHES!!!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Platte Road Challenge Here I come!!!!

I just purchased my plane ticket to Colorado for the Platte Road Challenge. I am very excited about once again meeting up with my Kimchi Brothers and Sisters for a weekend of drinking, beer pong, and if were lucky Human Beer Pong. I had an idea for the night before the challenge. Of course a MOPP would be awesome, but we should have a Beer Pong Tournament we could call the Kimchi World Series of Beer Pong (I’m sure coming up with a cool/gay inexpensive prize such as some Brass Monkeys). Just a thought, but regardless I am looking forward to that weekend.

Monday, January 22, 2007

Sadly No Human Beer Pong!!!!

I feel it is a great injustice that we did not even attempt to play human beer pong. However, the water balloon launcher was pretty sweet. There's nothing like bombarding a bunch of unsuspecting hashers with some water balloon artillery, too bad we didn't have any shaving or whip cream....because we could have made some "special artillery". We'll have to save that idea for next time. All in all I think the first outing of the balloon launcher was a success, although we did discover you should probably try to aim away from glass objects (some drunken hasher told me you could easily break a window from about 40 yards, but I would have to see it to believe it). I think Bloody Z has the launcher, but I am not entirely sure....I just know I don't have it. We should definitely bring the launcher to all hash events.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Kimchi Ball Check!!!

Well it appears that everyone made it back safely after a truly awesome time at Tex Mex. I figured I would throw out one last Kimchi ball check. So out of all the people that were issued balls how many actually ended up with a Pong Ball at the end of the weekend? That is the question. Those that answer no let the punishment be slamming a Brass Monkey at the next hash. I will let NBN be the enforcer of the punishment because I will not be able to be at the next Kimchi Hash for obvious reasons.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007


Well folks Tex-Mex is upon us and I have compiled everyone’s responses this is the (mostly) final list I have for our up and coming KICK ASS weekend.
1. Boom box
2. Beer Pong table (everything that comes with balls, net, cup triangle etc...)
3. CD's (at least one Hall and Oates cd so we can run the Hall and Oates hash)
4. Brass Monkey equipment (OE and OJ) if we are not getting it in ElPaso.
5. Presents for spotty
6. Valid I.D. ( for Mexico)
7. Cards
8. Poker chips (for morning poker)
9. Poker table (if you guys have room, if not we can figure something out)
10. Money (for what ever dabaucherous activities you decide to partake in)
11. Boxed wine
12. Jager
13. Tuaca
14. Boones Farm
15. Cigars
16. Sunscreen(unless you're Mexican like NBN)
17. Emergen C
18. Granny panties
19. C-4's Mexican scavenger hunt (I told her bring back and 8 foot crucifix would be a little hard)
20. Mirrored aviator glasses
21. Porn mustache
22. Hostage gnome
23. Dice
24. Tequila Rose
25. Mimi the midget doll
26. Village people costumes (very important)

That's the list and we are sticking to it...... Mexico here we come!!!