BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 225 - Spork’s Nighttime BDay GayDay Trail!
When: Saturday, September 8th, at *****7:00pm!*****
Where: Sawmill Park
2200 Millpark Drive
The Woodlands, TX 77380
Hare: Cocktor Spork
Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.
I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Take Exit 73 for Rayford/Sawdust. Turn left at the light (Sawdust), and go straight for like two miles. Turn left onto Millpark Drive - directly past Sawmill Road, the park is on your left. Look for assholes.
FROM THE HARE: Ladies & Gents, Boys & Girls, ‘tis that time a year again. The time when you come wish Spork good luck for another year of gay-llivanting around, doing Spork things. So I, Cocktor Spork, shall in turn give you a short and sweet little trail that you will no doubt love. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Also happening on this day, for the first time EVER, The Woodlands will be having a PRIDE festival for all the gays and those who have the body of a gay, but say they aren’t gay, even though they say it with dicks falling out of their mouths. And hags, they’re there, too. Now, because people in The Woodlands are rich and don’t understand how the gays work, their festival is from 11:00am – 5:00pm. Gays don’t even get out of bed until 5:00pm. Anywho, I will of course be attending, because, duh: unicorns, rainbows, booze, drag queens, all the things. So, I will go there and be merry, drinking alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day, and then I will come and LIVE LAY, yes LIVE LAY, this glorious trail for you fine folks at 7:00pm in the evening!!! NOTE THE FUCKING TIME! So, bring a fucking headlamp. Seriously, it’ll be darkish. There will be some urban, some shiggy, and have a beer check on top! At the beer check, you will catch a rare glimpse of the Cum-Puss, out of his natural habitat, most likely gnawing on some kind of noodle or meat-stick. So, cum one, cum all, and cum in the evening with the rest of us!
What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141