Lords and Ladies, Peasants and Pirates,
The
Monkeys of the Brass request the honour of celebrating in thy kind and noble
presence, and that of thine household,
a fullsome day of celebration and mourning for thy liver and thy errant, common-kissing codpieces,
a fullsome day of celebration and mourning for thy liver and thy errant, common-kissing codpieces,
the
celebration that thou hast in part created by breathing life unto these
earth-vexing sausage-wallets,
in
the fief of Olde Towne Magnolia.
Thou
is invited to “The Monkeys of Brass’ Sexquicentennial Scurry, Scamper, and
Sexual Orgy of Salacious Talent”, henceforth known as “The Brass Monkey 150th”!
Thou hast *cough cough*, okay, I’m done with this cock-in-my-mouth, err
cock-in-mouth, err cock-knee, er, cock-him, er cock-in-him, whatever, I’m done
with this. TIME TO GET DRUNK AND CELEBRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come
join the Brass Monkey Hash House Harriers as we celebrate our 150th
Hash, having somehow survived 5 years, 8 months, and 18 days of hashing, while having
only had one arrest and four breathalyzers! Come celebrate with your monkey
brothers and sisters as we enjoy each other’s time, homebrews, and sexy
outfits, and have our trail at the Texas Renaissance Fair campground, alongside
some awesome hashers and awesome events! Want to know more, here we gooooooooo!
On
Saturday, October 24th, let your day start with another hash, so
that you can be drunk by the time of the monkey trail!! Join Huzzah H3 at
10:00am for a Mimosa Brunch Pre-Lube! The cost is $7 and can be paid on-site or
PayPal to holcaul@yahoo.com. Getting
tipsy yet? Nahhhhh, we’re just starting! Once you are a little lubed up,
***head*** to the Sea Devil Tavern for the beginning of the Huzzah H3 Pirate
Thèmed trail, presented by EZ 2 Please, Epic Fail and Tube of Goo! Things you
can expect, per the hares? “Costumes, booze and beer!” That’s right, we’re
helping EZ Chair and Outside Cat move again! Ha, as-if, right? In any case,
this should allow you not one, not two, not three, but FOUR solid hours of
drinking, lurking and lubing, drinking more, frolicking, and ren-fair-ing
around before la pièce de résistance! More info can be found at www.h4.org.
At
3:30pm, the Brass Monkey Hash House Harriers present The Brass Monkey
Sexquicentennial, aka The Brass Monkey 150th!!!!! Hared by Cocktor
Spork and Where Do You Get Off?, this shall be a trail of lots of things merry,
plenty of things anal, and bountiful amounts of handcuffs and Asians. Our inaugural
hash was warm and shiggy, our 100th was cold as fuck, rainy, and
shiggy, who knows that the 150th will bring! You must come find out!
Once trail is complete, circle up for a circle of sexy proportions, also let by
your hares. So the hares are the RAs… they won’t be drinking much. The cost for
just the trail, circle, and a gimmie will be $10; you can expect a keg-o-beer
of something better than shit, with some special guest appearances from Bill
Cosby/Where Do You Get Off?’s fun-time kit, brass monkeys, and a commemorative,
limited edition, Brass Monkey 150th gimmie!! We’re only ordering 50,
so first paid, first served!!!! Think you’re gonna be hungry after circle? Us,
too! Don’t worry, we got you.
For
an additional $10, or $20 in total for the Brass Monkey Trail & posy-lube,
you can get a nice big meal catered by Mel's Country Café, the same place that
provided us with the badass food for VooDoo Monkey IV! Get your tummies full to
prepare you to throw them up just in time for the last event to close out our
evening, THE MONKEY IDOL BRASS MONKEY TALENT SHOW!!!!! Got talent? Or “talent”?
Got Ping-Pong balls and a zipper? YOU’VE GOT TALENT! Come watch your Brass
Monkey peeps perform with song, dance, accordion, fellatio lessons *mind the
step-children*, and whatever else they bring, while we yell, cheer, and scream
for them! This is something you do not want to miss! When you PAY IN ADVANCE
and RSVP, you can say if you have talent or not. Come on, you know you want to
show us your talent. The police may not want you to, but we do.
So,
in short, here are the Brass Monkey Sexquicentennial details!
3:30pm:
Brass Monkey Trail Begins!!!!
5:30pm:
Brass Monkey Circle Begins!!!!
***Cost
for Tail/Circle/Gimmie (Limited to first 50 people who sign up and pay!!)
$10.00, AND MUST BE PAID IN ADVANCE!***
6:30pm:
Brass Monkey Dinner/Talent Show!
***Dinner
is $10, and is catered, AND MUST BE PAID IN ADVANCE!***
When
you pay online, MAKE SURE TO NOTE IF YOU EAT MEAT OR IF YOU ARE A VEGETARIAN SO
WE CAN MAKE SURE WE ORDER CORRECT QUAN-TITTIES!!!!
You
can pay for just trail/beer/gimmie, or you can pay for that plus food HERE: http://www.payit2.com/collect-page/75574
Pay
in advance, pay in advance, pay in advance, pay in advance, pay in advance.
Food costs money, gimmies cost money, kegs cost money, we do not need a bunch
of assholes showing up day of and being like “Oh, here is $16 in crinkled ones,
I’ll get you later today for the rest.” No, do not be Mud in My Crick. Bad.
Questions?
Comments? Concerns?
Who:
Cocktor Spork, Where Do You Get Off?
Where:
21778 FM 1774, Todd Mission, Texas 77363
When:
Saturday, October 24, 2015 at 3:30 PM
Why:
Because in 150 r*ns we have only had a couple near death experiences, 1 person
get arrested, and you STILL like drinking, period.
No?
GOOD! Then pay and rego for an event you surely do not want to miss!!!
0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor
Spork
