BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 255 - Homoglobin's Birfday Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 255 - Homoglobin's Birfday Trail!

When: Saturday, November 2nd, at 3:00pm!

Where: BEHIND the Kroger

341 S Loop 336 W

Conroe, TX 77304

Hare: Homoglobin

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead-ends into I-45, to exit 84B for South Frazier Street/TX-75/Texas 336 Loop. Stay to the left and circle under the freeway and back south.  Take the first right on Grand Central Pkwy, go straight, and look for assholes somewhere behind the Kroger.

Sidenote:

*NOT* FROM THE HARE: The weather is nice, the shiggy is welcoming, and the monkeys are about to fuck some shit up.  Come join Homoglobin for his Birfday trail as he takes us to the great rural north into Conroe, home of corn and people with freckles.  The start will be at the old Camp Strake boy scout camp behind the Kroger.  For reasons totally unrelated to being 50 yards away from things and that time I tried I teach those campers how to play "Hang the Sash on the Hung Counselor" for that special patch... I mean badge, I will be unable to attend.  In my place, MasturGator will be RAing, so expect sudden breaks in circle, loud noises, and a few "that sounds niceeee"s from the man himself.  Trail will be 3-4 miles with at least one beer check, and per the hare will be 86% shiggy.  Cum celebrate the birthday boy by making him drink through all his regrets in circle, you know you want to!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 254: BMH3 + H4 Campout = Possible Death

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 254: BMH3 + H4 Campout = Possible Death

When: Saturday, October 19th, at 3:00pm!

Where: Texas Renaissance Festival

21778 FM 1774, Todd Mission, TX 77363. 

***Day Trippers can park in the main faire parking for free.  Campers can enter the campground, but it requires a pass.***

Hares: Will He Peter and Epic Fail

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash (IF YOU ARE ONLY HASHING AND LEAVING, OTHERWISE READ BELOW!), shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM ANYWHERE: Read this shit (https://www.texrenfest.com/map-directions)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Remember the The Monkeys of Brass’ Sexquicentennial Scurry, Scamper, and Sexual Orgy of Salacious Talent (aka the 150th run) at which everyone got wet and drunk?  No? Well neither do we, so we are doing it again.

Trail will be at Texas Renaissance Festival, starting in the campgrounds at the Realm of Ramith.

But Epic Fail, What is a Realm of Ramith you ask?  Just a group of hash-friendly crazy pirates known to get drunk, sing sea shanties and might rivel the hashers for some of their shenanigans. 

But Epic Fail, I don't know where to find a Realm of Ramith?? Don't worry, just look at this map and go to #16.  https://dynamix-cdn.s3.amazonaws.com/texrenfestcom/texrenfestcom_703739644.jpg

Why are we AT the ren faire?  Because H4 is being annoying and doing a campout the same weekend as YFFs usual trail.  If you want to stay the night, get a camping pass and join us!  We will be going all weekend.  If not, you gotta get sober and leave by 11 pm.  DON'T DRIVE DRUNK, THE POLICE LOOK FOR DRUNKS AROUND HERE AS INTENSELY AS DONNY LOOKS FOR HIS NEXT PAIR OF CROCS.

Do I need to rego?? $5 for trail.  If you plan to camp, drink the hash keg and want a gimmie, it's $10.  Rego at https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc-SA_kbotA_7Az6Hj1kAYvlULXWipPdpxwbHHIgTrpUqr9uA/

What should I bring?? Everything if you plan to camp.  We are providing beer and some trail snacks.  There are food trucks, porta potties and showers on site.

More info on H4 Fall Cmapout can be found here: (https://www.facebook.com/events/1048107182246894/)

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 253 - Aryan Sisterhood's Birfday Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 253 - Aryan Sisterhood's Birfday Trail!

When: Saturday, October 5th, at 3:00pm!

Where: *New Start Location*
31220 Birnham Road Drive
Spring, TX 77386

Hares: Aryan Sisterhood

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road to the Grand Parkway (TX-99), then go East - that means right.  Exit Birnham Woods Dr and turn left on Birnham woods Dr. 

Sidenote:

*NOT* FROM THE HARE: Well, what can I say?  it's Aryan Sisterhood.  That means he made it another year without dying.  As surprising as that is, he still doesn't appear to have any illegitimate children, and hasn't made any additional life choices that would put him on an even worse path than he's already catapulting down.  Now, it's possible there is a small village of goosestepping, pony-tailed blondes wondering around the Canadian tundra somewhere that he is responsible for, but really there are only so many things we really know about him, so let's just move on to what we can "expect" from this trail.  Firstishly, he wanted to start from a school.  Apparently 50 yards to him is optional during weekends, but after discussing, we decided that wasn't best, and Megan's Law agreed.  So, we're starting from a park, with at least one beer check, and according to him, a shit-ton of virgin shiggy. We shall see.  You can expect water crossings, and knowing him, some other dangerous shit.  It's gonna be warm, so hydrate your ass off, and make sure to bring bug spray!  That's all the info I have, so you'll just have to wait and see what kind of fuckery this trail will bring.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork