BMH3 #292 – April 3, 2021: Ivanna and Indiana's April Fools Trail.

When: 

Saturday, April 3, 2021 2PM
• Do Your Own Trail: After main pack
• Manned Beer Check: Beer check is a normal Brass Monkey beer check. It's a turtle check.

Where:

10857 Kuykendahl Rd, 77382 - West corner of parking lot
30.1776568, -95.5394872
https://goo.gl/maps/KFqoBua135EhC1d26

Hares: 

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon and Ivanna Hairy Buttchug

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Dress like a fool. Act like a fool.  Or bring a fool.  Expect everything you like about a Brass Monkey trail......thorns, blood, mud and water.  Plus some extra April fools hare shenanigans.  If you have been missing spider webs in your face.  We have that.  If you have been missing the need to fall on your ass as you slip in the mud.  We have that too.  Trail will be 4-5 ish miles of glorious shiggy

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #291 – March 20, 2021: Speed Bumps

 

When: Saturday, 3/20/2021

• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from Noonish to 3ish

Where:

100 Acre Woods Trail Parking
14234 W Cypress Forest Dr, Houston, TX 77070
29.984173083359316, -95.5772364667112

https//maps.app.goo.gl/qjfs9YBeRonc1H1o6

Hare: 

Speed Bumps

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Expect a 3-4 mile trail, with one or more shallow water crossings and a beer check (Bring your own Water!).  I’m thinking it will be dog friendly, but they must stay on leash in the parks.  Otherwise, a typically BM quarantine trail.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into maps and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.
• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #290 -Saturday March 6th 2021- Womb Raiders Birthday Trail

 

 BMH3 #290 - Womb Raiders Birthday Trail

When: Saturday, March 6th 2021

• Do Your Own Trail: "Noon"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from 1PM to 4:30ish

Where: 

Dirt parking lot on Old Riley Fuzzel Rd, Spring, TX 77386
google claims the address is 1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386, but no promises
30.093368, -95.405664

Hares: Womb Raider and Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Indiana Bones and I will be laying a pleasant Spring romp over the woods and thru the creek for my Birthday! There will be two loops of about 2 miles with a central start/BC/end (aka The Nest). BC will be manned from about 1-4:30 ish with some tasty craft beer selections and probably some seltzers for those so inclined. Expect lots of shiggy, a few water crossing and maybe a touch of paved trail. Trail should be fine for experienced hash dogs. Bring chairs for socially distant after trail hang out. I will be bringing a few single serve snacks to share but BYOB for the end.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.
• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-