BMH3 #291 – March 20, 2021: Speed Bumps

 

When: Saturday, 3/20/2021

• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from Noonish to 3ish

Where:

100 Acre Woods Trail Parking
14234 W Cypress Forest Dr, Houston, TX 77070
29.984173083359316, -95.5772364667112

https//maps.app.goo.gl/qjfs9YBeRonc1H1o6

Hare: 

Speed Bumps

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Expect a 3-4 mile trail, with one or more shallow water crossings and a beer check (Bring your own Water!).  I’m thinking it will be dog friendly, but they must stay on leash in the parks.  Otherwise, a typically BM quarantine trail.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into maps and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.
• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-