Brass Monkey #423 04/11/2026 3rd Anal Tax Day trail hared by Ivanna and Indiana

 

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 Brass Monkey #423 04/11/2026 3rd Anal Tax Day trail hared by Ivanna and Indiana

When: 

Saturday, April Eleventh, TwentyTwentySix
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where: 

WG Jones State Forest Trail Head

West of peoples road on the south side of FM 1488, Conroe, TX 77384

30.23435910875069, -95.48216375765869

https://maps.app.goo.gl/7bMoz1LedpMqFTwM7

 

Hares: 

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:Saturday will be the 3rd Anal Tax Day trail hared by Ivanna and Indiana yet again! Brass Monkeys should be dreading this trail almost as much as they dread filing their taxes! There will be accounting related hash marks, shiggy, water crossings, shot check AND beer check! What we will NOT have is a tunnel…unless we find one while laying trail 🐒! Just to honor the confusing nature of tax preparation, this will be B to A…sort of. Meet up is the end, we will transport everyone to trail start so don’t be late!!! Trail will include some shiggy that we have not hashed in for quite a long time, maybe even virgin territory for some hashers! There will be a pool on after with a taco bar, chips and queso, etc. BYO drinks to on after and a towel. If you need a swimsuit, bring one! Please RSVP so we know how much food to make!

Bring:

Water! it is starting to get warm again!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Probably a towel for drying off your wet feetsies

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

Brass Monkey #422 03/28/26 Monkeys Invade the Galveston 300th

    

 

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Brass Monkey #422 03/28/26 Monkeys Invade the Galveston 300th

When: 

Saturday, March Twenty-Eighth, TwentyTwentySix
2PM Show, 2:30PM Go.

Where:

1776 Memorial park

FM 2351 and Imperial Rd.

Friendswood, TX 77546

 

https://maps.app.goo.gl/262myRZkWAWnGjhK9

 

29.541471364532369, -95.19669808629569 

 

Hares: 

Pimp Doggie Dawg

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 

It will be Shiggy, some waist deep water crossings, include 3 counties, beer check, tunnel(Bring a light!), probably some baby PI peaking out. The ladies are planning on some hot food and lone pint is donating some beer.

FROM THE MISMANAGEMENT:

This is a joint event with the Galveston hash! We're invading their 300th trail celebration!  They'll have food, beer, and even shirts(only guaranteed if you rego in time)

  You'll need to rego at their google rego or on their HashRego

We recommend you join their facebook event and direct any questions directly to them: https://fb.me/e/1WXvEaE6q8

 

Bring:

APPROPRIATE CLOTHING. Who do I look like the fucking weatherman?
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Probably a towel for drying off your wet feetsies

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

!

BMH3 #413 11/22/2025 Short Cummingz and Outside Cat

 

 

 

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BMH3 #413 – 11/22/2025: Short Cummingz and Outside Cat

When: 

Saturday, November TwentySecond, TWentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:  *** Drive to this location and head EAST on Mulligan Drive until you see a bridge, look for assholes

Mulligan Dr & Honea Egypt Rd ->Then go east until you see a bridge
30.258758440466969, -95.57877846073669
https://maps.app.goo.gl/f7U5UtfeWehMj24E9

**If you  try to get on Mulligan from the Fish Creek Thoroughfare and head west, you're gonna have a hard time.

 

Hares: 

Short Cummingz

Outside Cat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Short Cummingz and Outside Cat take you on a trail with a bridge to nowhere. Double digit month, Double digit day, Double the fun.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS not cold yet!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

 

BMH3 #412 – 11/8/2025: Womb Raider Saves the day!

 

 

 

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BMH3 #412 – 11/8/2025: Womb Raider Saves the day!

When: 

Saturday, November eighth, TWentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where: 

Spring Creek Nature trail head at Dead End of Glen Loch Dr 

30.11358989897269, -95.48917166812469

https://maps.app.goo.gl/vAtoEgE5SJo7kcLz9

Hares: 

WOMB RAIDER

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail will be 3 to 4 miles of shiggy, thorns and water crossings haphazardly laid thru familiar territory with one beer check. Will it be better than a beer mile or tour de Franzia trail? Probably… Maybe…. Who knows? Come to trail and find out. 

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

BMH3 #410 – 10/11/2025: 9th anal Flock you!

 

 

 

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BMH3 #410 – 10/11/2025: 9th anal Flock you!

When: 

Saturday, October Eleventh, TWentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check at the nest!

Where: 

George Mitchell Nature Preserve Trailhead
At the end of Dr. Anne Snyder Drive, Tomball, TX 77375
30.148804903426369, -95.56331864323169
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DFpkcqnEXhmZkhiP8

Hares: 

The  Flock – Dumpsterbaitor, Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon, Outside Cat, Mouth Organ, Avian Sisterhood and Womb Raider

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 
Birdies and Monkeys that identify as Birds it’s that glorious time a year when the Flock lays 3 beautiful trails for you full of thorns, shiggy and water! There will be the Bluebird (blue), Dove (white) and Robin (orange) trails, each 2-3 miles long, ending in the safety of the Nest. The Nest will be filled with beautiful Birds and a Chicken, delicious beers and avian themed snacks. Compete to replenish your little ducky supply and win “fun prizes” at circle! Wear your favorite bird attire! Hot bird food will be provided. Don’t forget your waterfowl suits and drinks for pool on-after.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

BMH3 #406 08/16/2025 From Swamp Monster to Pool Noodle

 

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BMH3 #406    08/16/2025  From Swamp Monster to Pool Noodle 

 

When:

Saturday, August Sixteenth TwentyTwentyfive

• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

• Manned Beer Check or two!

Where:

George Mitchell Nature Preserve

5171 Flintridge Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77381

30.162937771734669, -95.51776231450669

https://maps.app.goo.gl/xcK168SbjNLK6xK29

 

Hares:

IVANNA Hairy Buttchug

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Start your afternoon feeling like a creature from the deep, slogging through mud, muck, and questionable puddles, only to end it basking in chlorinated glory like a limp noodle on vacation. Bring your trail shoes, your sense of humor, and a swimsuit — in that order. Trail will be 3-5 miles, 1-2 beer checks, leave your dignity and good decisions at home! On after will be at the Ivanna/Poon pool Oasis. Food will be provided, bring your own drinks and TOWEL!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

A Towel, and beverages for the POOL ON AFTER!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6

 

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

 

0n-0n,

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #405 – 8/2/2025: Cougarand and 2 Mennanite Save the day with their POOL!!!

   

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BMH3 #405 – 8/2/2025: Cougarrand and 2 Mennanite Save the day with their POOL!!!

When: 

Saturday, August Second, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Cougarrands POOL!!!

403 Westbrook St. Pinehurst tx. 77362
https://maps.app.goo.gl/aA7hGLDpTNYD8FJM8
30.12121683773669, -95.6527930553569

Hares: 

Cougarrand

2-Mennanite

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:Cougarrand heard that we might be having a "famous" katchup beer mile instead of a regular trail because we didn't have a hare and she said NO! I will save the hash!  I will provide a shittggy trail 2.5 to 3 miles long, with shade and watercrossings. To top it off, I will provide a POOL ending! With a high likelihood of hotdogs!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!

Pool stuff, ya know, suit, towel, whatever you need. maybe some extra on after beers. 
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.


Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #403 – 7/5/2025: Penis Fly Crap's Summertime Swimming Hole & Shiggy

 

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BMH3 #403 – 7/5/2025: Penis Fly Crap's Summertime Swimming Hole & Shiggy

When: 

Saturday, July Fifth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Woodbranch Village Park
113 Maple Lane, Woodbranch, TX 77357
30.175492007089769, -95.17823874683869
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZdmHBCCYjt6RBvTE9

Hares: 

Penis Fly Crap

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 
Summertime is here, so the hare has planned 3-4 miles of shaded shiggy guaranteed to get you wet.  Trail is A-to-B, will feature a BX swimming hole, and a creekside On-In with a possible aquatic circle.  Bring: Virgins, $5, your favorite horsefly repellent, and a drinking vessel for Brass Monkeys .  

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
A shag bag, if you want any of your stuff at the end!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #402 – 6/21/2025: 🎉🐒 Dumb Cumpster & 5Foot Butthole’s Birthday Trail! 🐒🎉

 

 

 

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BMH3 #402 – 6/21/2025: 🎉🐒 Dumb Cumpster & 5Foot Butthole’s Birthday Trail! 🐒🎉

When:

Saturday, June TwentyFirst TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 230PM show, 3:00PM Go

Where:

Burroughs park back parking lot by the pavilion
9738 Hufsmith Rd, Tomball, TX 77375
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sC5Ng638ZMLJkD2a8
30.138116103787569, -95.57641697486269

Hares:

Dumb Cumpster & 5Foot Butthole

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
🗺️ Trail Deets:
• 3- to 4-ish miles of birthday chaos
• Expect shiggy, water crossings, and probably some regret
• Dog-friendly (as long as your dog can swim or heckle drunk hashers)
• 1 glorious beer check to hydrate your filthy soul

🎉 On-After:
💦 Pool party at 5Foot Butthole’s party palace
👙 BYOB | Bring a towel | Swimsuits optional
🍿 We’ll have snacks
🎯 Games galore: flippy cup, beer pong, darts, pool shenanigans, backyard games
🎶 Music, chaos. Bad decisions encouraged

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
For the on AFTER BYOB, BYOTOWEL!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #401 – 6/7/2025: Fuck Fuck Goose "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?"

 

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 BMH3 #401 – 6/7/2025: Fuck Fuck Goose "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?"

When:

Saturday, June Seventh TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Kohrville Elementary School
11600 Woodland Shore Dr, Tomball, TX 77375
https://maps.app.goo.gl/yrFxTjYYsz26kAHR8
30.04578027351469, -95.59155517687469

Hares:

Fuck Fuck Goose

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail Theme: "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?"
Prepare yourself for possibly Goose’s best trail yet—or maybe his worst. What could possibly go wrong with being coerced into haring a Brass Monkey trail with only a couple of days to plan?  Goose has never laid the same trail twice, and does not plan to start now.

Heat Warning: Texas summer heat will be fierce and in the mid to high 90s, but don't worry—there will be THREE beer checks! Two will be your average on-trail cooler-o-beverages, and the beercheck closest to the halfway point (aka "the turn") will be at a full service establishment with A/C, food, water, and alcohol options; bring your ID and a form of payment. It should be a grand ole time.

Trail Length: About 10k-ish. Or longer. Or shorter. Beer check every 1.5 - 2.1 miles. Prepare yourself emotionally.

Terrain: Expect a little bit of everything—except permafrost, probably.

Pool On-After:

    Goose’s House

•     BYOE (Bring Your Own Everything): Including food, drinks, dignity, and whatever else you might require.
•     The Goose household grills are sadly out of propane and not available for use—plan accordingly.
•     Kid Alert: Children will be present in the house, so bathing suits are mandatory this time around. Apologies to the nudists in the group.

Note: Goose is aware that we prefer to not start or finish at Schools, for obvious reasons. Thanks to TXDoT—or whichever deity controls Highway 99— The originally planned on-start, the backup on-start, and the backup to the backup are all inaccessible as of Wednesday. Unfortunately, the school is the only place in the area without the risk of getting everyone’s vehicles towed.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT! - No seriously, it is hot now!

Swimsuit and anything you want to eat or drink at gooses POOL on after!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #399 – 5/10/2025: Monkeys Invade H4 campout! (at 12:30!)

 

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BMH3 #399 – 5/10/2025: Monkeys Invade H4 campout!

When:

Saturday, May Fifth TwentyTwentyfive
• Main Pack NOON:30 show, 1:00PM Go

Where:

The Cougar Den(not the bar)
403 Westbrook, Pinehurst, TX 77362
30.121326450819669, -95.65268853142169
https://maps.app.goo.gl/u8j8YzMFr5yiuUE56
 

Hares:

Horsefli DriveBi
Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
***ALERT*** 12:30 GATHER TIME!!!!!
So H4 has ventured into Monkey territory for their spring campout, on a Monkey Saturday no less!  But to appease the angry Monkeys, they have invited us to hare! So trail will start and end at the location of their campout!  We're gonna drink their beer, eat their snacks, and SWIM IN THEIR POOL!!!!!  But when circle is over, if you're not rego'd for the campout, you'll have to leave!
Trail is about 4 miles, super shiggy, wet(should be wading not swimming) and will have one manned beer check. Trail will have a POOL ENDING!!!!! Also, because "Planning" and "reasons" they're insisting on an EARLY START OF 12:30!!!!

Bring:

Trail clothes, pool clothes, drive home clothes
5$ hashcash
WATER, IT IS Getting HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #397 – 4/12/2025: Indiana Bones and The Temple of Poon, and IVANNA Hairy Buttchug

 

Trails available in May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #397 – 4/12/2025: Indiana Bones and The Temple of Poon, and IVANNA Hairy Buttchug

When:

Saturday, April Twelfth, Twothousand and TwentyFive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Pundt Park
4129 Spring Creek Dr, Spring, TX 77373
https://maps.app.goo.gl/JvWZPbVNxyV7e1Tz5
30.08207227761969, -95.3784092193269

Hares:

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon
IVANNA Hairy Buttchug

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
It’s that time of year again, the time when the tax man is after all of us and this inspires Indiana and Ivanna to dream up new ways to punish the pack! Trail will be punishing, just like the IRS. There will be shiggy, there will be water crossings, there will be shot checks, all the things plus maybe some surprises, who knows? Just like the IRS.  Expect 3-5 miles and 2 beverage checks.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS NICE AS HELL OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #396 – 3/29/2025: 🐦 Goose’s Birthday Trail: Twice the Water, Twice the Regret 🐦

 

 

 

Trails available in April and May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

BMH3 #396 – 3/29/2025: 🐦 Goose’s Birthday Trail: Twice the Water, Twice the Regret 🐦

When:

Saturday, March TwentyNinth TwentyTwentyfive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

30.00034527391169, -95.53189054600269
Otherwise referred to as the Stub-Out Road attached to the parking lot of the Chase Bank located at:
8421 Cypresswood Dr,
Spring, TX 77379
https://maps.app.goo.gl/kBQnJQdyrYgthFLt6

Hares:

Fuck Fuck Goose

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
🐦 Goose’s Birthday Trail: Twice the Water, Twice the Regret 🐦

Listen up, you pack of dehydrated degenerates! This week’s trail is a celebration of Goose’s birthday, and in true half-mind fashion, we are honoring it with questionable decisions, mysterious mileage, and more moisture than your last date. That is right—you might get to swim twice: once on trail (surprise water crossing? flooded trail? Goose’s tears?) and again at a Pool On-After. Hydration is mandatory. Drowning is optional.

🎉 THE OCCASION:
Goose has survived another trip around the sun without being banned from trail, arrested (publicly), or declared legally deceased. Let us gather to pretend we like him, drink in his honor, and yell "ON-ON" like it means something.

🦆 THE TRAIL:
Maybe 3 miles. Maybe 10. Maybe it loops. Maybe you are the loop. Goose scouted it with one eye closed and a beer in hand, so bring your sense of direction and lower your expectations. Might have shiggy. Might not. Might be flat. Might be vertical. Might be a metaphor for life. Who knows? Who cares?

💦 POOL ON-AFTER:
Cool down your trail-stank in Goose’s pool.
🔥 BYOM – Bring Your Own Meat to grill
🍻 BYOB – Bring Your own Beverages
🍪 Some snacks may be provided, depending on how much Goose actually cares on Saturday
👙 Suits required – Yes, this is not your nudist colony fantasy. Goose’s spawn will be home.


Come out and celebrate our favorite feathered freak. You will sweat, you will swim, and you might survive. But either way, you will leave wetter, louder, and probably more confused than you arrived.

ON-ON, ya filthy animals!

From Misman: TRAIL STARTS AT 3PM!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 

 

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!

When:

Saturday, February Fifteenth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 1PM show, 1:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

TRAIL and camping:
Double Lake Hunter camp on NFSR 220
Forest Service Rd 220, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sL1SAkKX35KajKNB7

Hares:

Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Pack will DEPART AT 1:30!!! Don't be late!
Trail will be 4-6+ miles of glorious National Forest SHIGGY!  Expect regular shiggy, muddy shiggy, thorny shiggy!

CAMPING: For the on after, we will be CAMPING!!!!! After circle beer runs out and hash snacks are gone, you're on your own! Bring Your Own EVERYTHING! You'll need to take care of yourself until you can pack up and leave sunday morning! That means bring FOOD, WATER, BEER, and your POOP SHOVEL!
I highly recommend arriving a bit before trail and setting up your camp before trail. You can come as early as you want, even Friday!
These campsites are primitive, as in bring a poop shovel primitive!
It's looking like its going to get chilly Saturday night, so stop on the way to grab some firewood! either a couple bundles from the hardware store, or random places on the way to camp.

Bring:

WATER, you're camping and running, you'll get thirsty!
FOOD you have to feed yourself dinner, and maybe breakfast depending how fast you leave Sunday.
BOOZE, circle beer won't last all night
FIREWOOD
SHELTER
POOPSHOVEL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
Twinkle Toes Signal ID: JamesS.42
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #392 - 02/01/2025 - Homoglobins Third time's a charm? trail

 

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 BMH3 #392 - 02/01/2025 - Homoglobins Third time's a charm? trail

When:

Saturday, February First, Twenty Twentyfive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• One Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Burroughs Park Pavilion
9738 Hufsmith Rd, Tomball, TX 77375 - and drive all the way to the pavilion in the back
30.13811394581269, -95.57557074460769
https://maps.app.goo.gl/XceBYR8nstCSf3yx9

Hares:

Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
3.5 miles
Park in the furthest north spot by the pavilion(usual spot)
Weather should be fantastic!
Nothing more and never less!
One beer check.

Bring:

WATER, IT might not be cold
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #387 -11/23/24 – Fuck Fuck Goose takes a baby monkey under his wing

 

 

 

2025 Hare Signups for the first half of the year are posted! Get yours now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #387 – Fuck Fuck Goose takes a baby monkey under his wing

When:

Saturday, November TwentyThird TwoThousandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Little Cypress Creek Preserve
Telge Rd & Spring Cypress Rd, Cypress, TX 77429
29.9906569,-95.6562469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/L4N5fU8Gx3G8bv3Y7

Hares:

ShoulderPads the Virgin Hare & F*ck F*ck Goose.

Sidenote:

Get ready for an epic adventure that promises equal parts chaos and camaraderie. Or just pure chaos. This trail has it all: a Virgin Hare ready to test their mettle, uncharted territory that F*ck F*ck Goose has only scoped out on Google Maps, at least one beer check (maybe two if the stars and hares align), and the ever-present risk of getting lost. Expect questionable decisions and constant cursing of the hares.  ON-ON!
📏 Distance:
Trail is allegedly planned for 4 miles, but knowing the hares, you might be signing up for 14 miles of scenic suffering. Pack your sense of humor, an extra pair of socks, a headlamp, and a snack just in case.
🌿 Shiggy Factor:
Expect at least 20 feet of shiggy—but be prepared for 20 miles. The hares have no idea what they are getting themselves into.
💦 Wetness Factor:
If you make it through trail completely dry, then congratulations. For everyone else, the On-After has you covered with a heated pool to ensure you do not leave the day without a good soak.

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Swimsuit, Towel, and Drinks for HEATED POOL on after!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 BMH3 #386 -11/09/2024- Save a Horses Marine Corps Pre-Lube Trail!

When:

Saturday, November Ninth, TwothousandandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beir Check!

Where:

The timber lane utility district community center
1902 Naplechase Dr
Spring, TX 77373
30.044265741951669, -95.40343757533269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/FWQoViyaGX72c8qz5
(Yes this is the same start location as 2 weeks ago)

Hare: 

Save a Horse, Ride a Mole

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail is 3 miles, 1 bier check. There will be water crossings, expect to get wet and bring a change of dry clothes. Hares can't promise a covered ending, but the RA can get their shit together and clear the weather before circle...

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.


Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.  Hur Hur the start location sounds like its on Nipplechase drive. (o)(o)


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #385 - 10/26/2024: Homoglobin's Birthday trail

 

BMH3 #385 - 10/26/2024: Homoglobin's Birthday trail

When:

Saturday, October TwentySex, TwothousandandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

The timber lane utility district community center
1902 Naplechase Dr
Spring, TX 77373
30.044265741951669, -95.40343757533269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/FWQoViyaGX72c8qz5


Hares:
Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
About 3.5 mile trail.
Everything friendly like dogs and such.
One beer check as customary.
On after will be at Kerchup and Road head’s place which is 15 minutes ish away.
Start time is 2pm now I believe?

FROM THE ON AFTER HOSTS!!!!
Halloween is just around the corner so it's time to dress up. KatchUp and Road Head are hosting a Halloween party at their house for On-After. It will be potluck style and BYOB. Looking forward to seeing everyone

Bring:

WATER, IT IS still HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Pot Luck item, a costume, and Drinks for on after!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.  Hur Hur the start location sounds like its on Nipplechase drive. (o)(o)


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024 Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

 

***We have one more trail left available in 2024!!!!! as soon as it is taken, I'll open up 2025! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024    Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

When:

Saturday, October 12th Twenty TwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

George Mitchell Nature Preserve
5171 Flintridge Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77381
https://maps.app.goo.gl/WYXAx4wMJfj49vd59
30.162925972371069, -95.51777841208369

Hares:
IVANNA HAIRY BUTTCHUG!!!!

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Every other week you halfminds do your best to kill my old ass off…either by a rough trail or by a rough on after. Anyway, I have survived yet another year of hashing and it’s your turn to pay! I’ll be laying a wonderful, celebration trail in honor of my birthday.  Expect shiggy, water crossings, and shenanigans. On after will be a pool ending with a taco bar! Bring your own booze and your own towel! I’m sick of losing towels to ya’ll fools!


Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT!
On after booze and towel and swimsuit!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

When:

Saturday, September TwentyFourth, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Spring Creek Nature trail
Dead End of Glen Loch Dr
https://maps.app.goo.gl/e1JyMeXagWSCCr3JA
30.113658605646269, -95.48915437527969

Hares:

Womb Raider and the Flock

Sidenote:

Note the early start!!!

FROM THE HARES:
The Birds are flying again! Join the Flock for 3 loops (6ish miles total) of shiggy, thorns and water crossing. There will be rubber duckies. There will be “bird” food and drinks. There will be a Nest full of beautiful birds and maybe a Chicken. There will be Flabongos. There is the possibility of an aquatic bird friendly on after. Bring your waterfowl suits just in case. Don’t forget to don your prettiest bird apparel!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!

A Swimsuit, towel, and drinks for the on after!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-