BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 142 - Red, White, & SPEW!

When: Saturday, JULY 4th, at 3:00pm!

Where: Backwoods Saloon

230 Lexington, Conroe, TX

Hares: EZ Chair, Skeet Squad, & Ludacunt

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections: FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45 and take exit 81 for FM 1488 toward Magnolia/Hempstead. Once you take the exit, take the feeder exit to FM 1488 EAST/Lexington. Go over the train tracks, turn left, and follow around until you find the bar, only like half mile.

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: It's the 4th of JULY! What better way to celebrate than by going back to the site of where we almost killed a Canadian last time we ran though! Bring your best RED, WHITE, and BLUE outfit, and get ready to throw up some fucking 'Murrican pride! Expect at least ONE beer check, some serious shiggy, and depending on if you try to run on the train tracks over the bridge, possibly a "Stand By Me" moment.

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 141 - OUTSIDE CAT'S BIRFDAY RUN!

When: Saturday, June20th, at 3:00pm!

Where: 13010 Sawmill Road, The Woodlands, TX 77380

(Intersection of Sawmill Road & West High Oaks Circle)

(near High Oaks Park) (Park on the street!)

Hares: Outside Cat, Red Light Special, & Chopped Liver

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections: FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45 and take Exit 73 for Rayford/Sawdust. Turn left at the light for Sawdust and go for like 1-2 miles until Sawdust turns left at the Startbucks past Burger King, if you keep going straight it will become Grogan's Mill. Once you turn left, go straight for like a mile and turn left on Sawmill Road. Go all the way until it dead-ends and look for parking there.

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: Holy shit, there are three female hares, this is going to be neat. Things to expect: 4-5 mile shiggy-tastic trail, TWO beer checks, and a fuck ton of water and shiggy. All three hariettes are celebrating their birthdays, so plan on giving them some birthday spankings! The theme? RAINBOWS AND UNICORNS!!! Make sure to bring a change of clothes and a bathing suit for the end! Although it is good to wear a bathing suit on trail as well, as it might be kinda wet.

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 140

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 140 - EZ'S BIRFDAY RUN!

When: Saturday, June 6th, at 3:00pm!

Where: At The Mosquito Fucking Campout!

257R Freeport, TX 77541

Hares: EZ Chair & I Fucked Your Dad

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections: Go To The Mosquito Campout!

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: Trail will be beach, it will be 1-5 miles long, and will be a Brass Monkey Challenge! There will be swimming, there will be seaweed, and also to cap it all off, this challenge will include a trash pick-up contest! The person with the most trash wins! There are TWO things, count 'em TWO things not permitted: NO goddamn whining, and NO glass. That means if you want to bring your own Monkeys, bring them in something plastic!

Hash cash will still be $5, that will include Monkeys and things for the challenge, and you will also need to be doing the Mosquito campout. I mean, I know the Monkeys are cool, but I don't know if we are "Drive-to-Galveston-to-only-do-the-hash-then-leave-because-we-don't-want-to-camp-out" cool.

EZ Chair's #: (503) 939-4587

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork