BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 266 - Katch'a'Croc'o'Aryan's Solo Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 266 - Katch'a'Croc'o'Aryan's Solo Trail!

 When: Saturday, April 4th, at Any Fucking Time You Please!

Where: Under A Creepy Bridge

Riley Fuzzel Road

Spring, TX 77386

Google Maps: 4JMX+JR Porter, Texas

(30.134616, -95.350272)

Hares: KatchUp, Croc of Shit, and Aryan Sisterhood

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 or the Hardy Toll Road to TX-99 (Grand Parkway) and go East, that means Right. Take the exit toward Townsen Blvd. Merge onto Riley Fuzzel Road next to the freeway and just keep going until it deadends and forces you under the bridge back the other way.  There is a dirt "parking lot" under the bridge, park there!  There will not be any assholes to look for, but there may be some other cars there!

Sidenote:

Well, here it is.  Our first "Do Your Own Trail Adventure", staring you, as the dumb ass who showed up for this thing!  As you can read more in detail about below, trail MUST BE DONE ON YOUR OWN DUE TO MONTGOMERY COUNTY ORDERS!  Trail is being laid Friday, and will be ready Saturday.  The hares will be laying in FLAGGING and FLOUR, so look for both.  Maybe if they are awesome enough, they will post some pictures on here of some of the things you should look for.  Keep in mind, one of the hares, who  will remain "namenlos" as we say in German, tried to bail out of this bitch saying we weren't worth it.  How dare him.  But between my Jewish guilt, KatchUps strongly worded messages, and Croc of Shit's "present" voting -- adding literally nothing to the discourse -- he finally came around.  Like I said, I won't tell you who it was, but just know it was a thing. 

We will be holding a VIRTUAL CIRCLE AT 7:00PM Central. The link will be posted shortly before it starts on this event page. It is best to do it from a laptop because if you try to use a tablet or a phone, you will have to download the app, and you won't be able to really see everyone attending very well. McPisser was awesome enough to create the event for us using his RichMan account so we won't be kicked off after 40 minutes like we would if we used my Homeless account. Thanks, McP!  Now, if you are planning on actually doing trail, please read through the shit below because there is some important ass info.  Not ass info.  I mean, all ass info is important, so this is just important info that has nothing to do with ass. Unfortunately. God I miss people.  Anywho... we look forward to trying this shit out, and hope you enjoy trail by yourself or with your family!

P.S. I hope your kids enjoy b00b checks. 

NOW, READ THIS:

Montgomery County (aka Monkeyland) has decreed: “All public and private gathering of any number of people occurring outside a single household or living unit are prohibited.” This means we are going to have to do trail a different way, à la other hashes you have seen. The way we are going to do it is as follows:

• The hares will lay the trail on Friday, and knowing them, it won’t be done until darkness so don’t try to do it Friday.

• Trail will be A-to-A and will not start from somewhere that is currently forbidden to park at.

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no booze waiting for you. As much as we’d like to chance having a stashed beer check with beer waiting halfway, for a myriad of reasons that is not feasible, so BYOfuckingeverything. If you want beer, bring beer. Bam.

• You will have the opportunity to do trail at any point on Saturday. You do you. That being said, make sure you just do you, and if you run into other hashers, try not to interact/mingle/bang there on trail. The last thing we need is some park ranger with a funny hat finding out who we are, what we are doing, and getting all excited that he finally gets to fill out his “GOT ‘EM!’ report. Stay separate, do your own thing.

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork