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Thursday, April 30, 2020

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 268 - Homoglobin's "Trail of the Year" Solo Trail!


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 268 - Homoglobin's "Trail of the Year" Solo Trail!

When: Saturday, May 2nd, at Any Fucking Time You Please!

Where: Burrough's Park
*ALL THE WAY BACK, NEAR PAVILION*
9738 Hufsmith Road
Tomball, TX 77375

Hares: Homoglobin

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 N or Hardy Toll Road to TX-99 (Grand Parkway), then go West.  That means left.  Take to Kuykendahl Road and turn right, that means North-ish.  Go for 4 miles or so, then turn left onto Huffsmith Road.  Go for a mile and a half, then as the road curves left the park will be on your right.  Go allllllllllllllllllllllllllll the way back.  Park in the last lot where the Pavilion is.  DON'T PARK OVERNIGHT.  #WombRaider #NeverForget

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARE: This was supposed to be the trail of the year, but not this year!  You can expect a 3-4 mile trail, all species friendly, with a beer check!  Wear bug spray and shiggy socks. 

FROM SPORK: We will be holding a VIRTUAL CIRCLE AT 7:00PM Central. The link will be posted shortly before it starts on this event page. It is best to do it from a laptop because if you try to use a tablet or a phone, you will have to download the app, and you won't be able to really see everyone attending very well. McPisser was awesome enough to create the event for us using his RichMan account so we won't be kicked off after 40 minutes like we would if we used my Homeless account. Thanks, McP!  Now, if you are planning on actually doing trail, please read through the shit below because there is some important ass info.  Not ass info.  I mean, all ass info is important, so this is just important info that has nothing to do with ass. Unfortunately. God I miss people.  Anywho... we look forward to trying this shit out, and hope you enjoy trail by yourself or with your family!

NOW, READ THIS:

Montgomery County (aka Monkeyland) has decreed: “All public and private gatherings OF MORE THAN FOUR PEOPLE occurring outside a single household or living unit are prohibited.” This means we are going to have to do trail a different way, à la other hashes you have seen. The way we are going to do it is as follows:

• The hares will lay the trail on Friday, and knowing them, it won’t be done until darkness so don’t try to do it Friday.

• Trail will be A-to-A and will not start from somewhere that is currently forbidden to park at.

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.

• You will have the opportunity to do trail at any point on Saturday. You do you. That being said, make sure you just do you, and if you run into other hashers, try not to interact/mingle/bang there on trail. The last thing we need is some park ranger with a funny hat finding out who we are, what we are doing, and getting all excited that he finally gets to fill out his “GOT ‘EM!’ report. Stay separate, do your own thing.

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork

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