Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Ladyboys… especially ladyboys, The
Brass Monkey Hash House Harriers, in collaboration with the VooDoo Hash House
Harriers, bring you…
VOODOO MONKEY 4.0: Plymouth Cock
This year, VooDoo Monkey will not be in July and be fucking hot, it will not be in August when it’s fucking hotter, it will not be in September, too much shit going on, it will not be in October, that is crab hash territory. No no, this year, we will be having VOODOO MONKEY IV in November, the weekend before Thanksgiving to be exact. Imagine it, you are at Thanksgiving dinner, your weird Uncle across the table that works in Laundromat is licking his fingers to wipe his comb over across his forehead. To his right, your bother. Not that one, the other one… ewwww. You are stuck at this table full of odd people who you wouldn’t dare be around sober. Don’t you wish you had lubed up the weekend before and sucked all the fun out of the air that you could have, so you could have stored it up like some alcoholic camel to use on an occasion such as this. Yes. For those of you that did, there will be faint whispers in the wind saying “…voodoo… monkey… fourrrrrrrrrr…” So let us say in short, you’re welcome.
As this year is the Monkey’s turn to host this blessed event, it will be back on this side of the Texas - Louisiana boarder and be a Texas style campout. Bring your tents, bring your RVs, bring your asses, and come out for a weekend full of alcohol, campfires, and bitches. Well, not bitches. I don’t know, there might be some bitches. *See RSVP list* The campout will crack open Friday, November 21st at 12:00pm when we tap the beer! What kind of beer? Let’s put it this way, it’s not going to be Bud Light Lime. It’s not going to be Bud Light. It’s not going to be Budweiser. It will not say “Bud” in the name. Good beer. Label beer… delicious warm-me-up beer. There will be slut-juice… the delicious slut-me-up-nectar. We will be at a beautiful venue, filled with awesome grasslands surrounding an awesome lake. It’s November, so it might be cold. But it’s Texas, so it could be fucking 75°, who the hell knows. I can’t remember the last time I was cold on Thanksgiving in this damn state. Anyway, it’s going to be awesome.
Since it will be right before Thanksgiving, this year’s thème will reflect all that you are thankful for: STD medications, alcohol, plan B, slutty Pilgrim outfits that you can most likely find at your local whore-store. Think Pilgrims meet Indians or Pocahontas bangs John Smith. Think small pox blankets and delicious Brass Monkeys meet for the first time. Brass Monkeys: the original cure for scurvy. So what do you need to know to get you to this place… this mecca only an hour away from The Woodlands? Well, here’s what you need to know, bitches.
When: Friday, November 21st – Sunday, November 23rd
Where: Ron’s Relay Retreat, 36009 Howell Road, Waller, TX 77484
Bring: A tent, and whatever you want to wear that weekend. Have an RV? Prefect, bring it! (There will be an additional $30-ish price for hookups and such, e-mail bmh@bmhengineering.com to RSVP for RV space.)
Cap: We are capping this event at 120, so if you want to go to this event, I recommend you rego early. I would really prefer if I didn’t get a call from one of you assholes in a couple months like “Hey, Spork, so I tried to buy a rego and it said CLOSED, you’ve got one for me, right?” Don’t be that guy. Don’t be Mud In My Crick. Get your rego, get it now, and get it cheap. Go to www.BMH3.org and sign up there! We would prefer if you did not send checks *cough cough* Boarder Jumpers *cough cough*.
Cost:
VOODOO MONKEY 4.0: Plymouth Cock
This year, VooDoo Monkey will not be in July and be fucking hot, it will not be in August when it’s fucking hotter, it will not be in September, too much shit going on, it will not be in October, that is crab hash territory. No no, this year, we will be having VOODOO MONKEY IV in November, the weekend before Thanksgiving to be exact. Imagine it, you are at Thanksgiving dinner, your weird Uncle across the table that works in Laundromat is licking his fingers to wipe his comb over across his forehead. To his right, your bother. Not that one, the other one… ewwww. You are stuck at this table full of odd people who you wouldn’t dare be around sober. Don’t you wish you had lubed up the weekend before and sucked all the fun out of the air that you could have, so you could have stored it up like some alcoholic camel to use on an occasion such as this. Yes. For those of you that did, there will be faint whispers in the wind saying “…voodoo… monkey… fourrrrrrrrrr…” So let us say in short, you’re welcome.
As this year is the Monkey’s turn to host this blessed event, it will be back on this side of the Texas - Louisiana boarder and be a Texas style campout. Bring your tents, bring your RVs, bring your asses, and come out for a weekend full of alcohol, campfires, and bitches. Well, not bitches. I don’t know, there might be some bitches. *See RSVP list* The campout will crack open Friday, November 21st at 12:00pm when we tap the beer! What kind of beer? Let’s put it this way, it’s not going to be Bud Light Lime. It’s not going to be Bud Light. It’s not going to be Budweiser. It will not say “Bud” in the name. Good beer. Label beer… delicious warm-me-up beer. There will be slut-juice… the delicious slut-me-up-nectar. We will be at a beautiful venue, filled with awesome grasslands surrounding an awesome lake. It’s November, so it might be cold. But it’s Texas, so it could be fucking 75°, who the hell knows. I can’t remember the last time I was cold on Thanksgiving in this damn state. Anyway, it’s going to be awesome.
Since it will be right before Thanksgiving, this year’s thème will reflect all that you are thankful for: STD medications, alcohol, plan B, slutty Pilgrim outfits that you can most likely find at your local whore-store. Think Pilgrims meet Indians or Pocahontas bangs John Smith. Think small pox blankets and delicious Brass Monkeys meet for the first time. Brass Monkeys: the original cure for scurvy. So what do you need to know to get you to this place… this mecca only an hour away from The Woodlands? Well, here’s what you need to know, bitches.
When: Friday, November 21st – Sunday, November 23rd
Where: Ron’s Relay Retreat, 36009 Howell Road, Waller, TX 77484
Bring: A tent, and whatever you want to wear that weekend. Have an RV? Prefect, bring it! (There will be an additional $30-ish price for hookups and such, e-mail bmh@bmhengineering.com to RSVP for RV space.)
Cap: We are capping this event at 120, so if you want to go to this event, I recommend you rego early. I would really prefer if I didn’t get a call from one of you assholes in a couple months like “Hey, Spork, so I tried to buy a rego and it said CLOSED, you’ve got one for me, right?” Don’t be that guy. Don’t be Mud In My Crick. Get your rego, get it now, and get it cheap. Go to www.BMH3.org and sign up there! We would prefer if you did not send checks *cough cough* Boarder Jumpers *cough cough*.
Cost:
August 1st – August 31st: $75.00
September 1st – September 30th: $90.00
October 1st – October 31st: $105.00
November 1st - REGISTRATION CLOSED
What You Get: Camping for an entire weekend, beer, games, beer, entertainment, beer, gimmies, beer, food, and possibly some beer.
What more do you need to know? No, seriously, like that is all the shit you need for now. As more details become available, we’ll put them out. Until then, just rego this shit. Can’t go later? Sell it to some poor sap that is looking for a rego at the last minute. So cum one, cum all, cum out to get in some pre-Thanksgiving fun at this year’s VOODOO MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!
PAY & REGO HERE: https://www.payitsquare.com/collect-page/41389
September 1st – September 30th: $90.00
October 1st – October 31st: $105.00
November 1st - REGISTRATION CLOSED
What You Get: Camping for an entire weekend, beer, games, beer, entertainment, beer, gimmies, beer, food, and possibly some beer.
What more do you need to know? No, seriously, like that is all the shit you need for now. As more details become available, we’ll put them out. Until then, just rego this shit. Can’t go later? Sell it to some poor sap that is looking for a rego at the last minute. So cum one, cum all, cum out to get in some pre-Thanksgiving fun at this year’s VOODOO MONKEY!!!!!!!!!!!
PAY & REGO HERE: https://www.payitsquare.com/collect-page/41389
FACEBOOK EVENT: https://www.facebook.com/events/1452387721695199
0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork
1 comment:
Who's going?
Shut the Fúçk Up, Special Fred
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