When: Saturday, September 5th
• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from 12-3 pm
Where: 79 Thorpe Ln, Spring, TX 77389
https://goo.gl/maps/h4NjyjdwdASzY7s28
30.092880, -95.452299
Hares: Did Spork really leave his legal weed and beautiful beaches to hare this trail, maybe, maybe not, only one way to find out!
Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.
Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Trail will be between 1 and 10 miles. There is good potential for water crossings in this lush thick shiggy. The beer checks have been making a come back on past trails and I hope to not disappoint with this trail. Dog friendly if you want to bring your fun little one(s) This has been approved by me, Sporky. Surprise everyone, I am back in town.
FROM SPORK: Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.
We will still do virtual circle at 7:00pm, with the link to be posted sometime 30 minutes – 1 hour before on the Brass Monkey FB event. Your special guest RA will be WHERE DO YOU GET OFF?!? That's right! Straight from the small island of Boanire and it's ONE effing COVID case, Get off and Red Light Espcial will delight you with the songs of their people. That’s all we’ve got. Make good decisions out there.
NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.
• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?
What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork
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