BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 272: Outside Cat's BIRFDAY Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 272: Outside Cat's BIRFDAY Trail!

When: Saturday, June 27th:

• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 1:69pm

• "OfFiCiAl" Trail: 2:00pm

• Manned Beer Check from 2:30-ish - 4:00pm

Where: Sunset Springs Park

35 South Dreamweaver Circle

The Woodlands, TX 77380

Hares: Outside Cat & Twinkle Toes

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 N or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Take exit 73 for Rayford/Sawdust. Turn left onto Sawdust and go for 4-ish lights, then turn left where Sawdust turns left (at the Burger King). Go for like a mile-ish and turn left. Turn left at the second turn-in and bust a bitch onto Sawmill Road and the park is on the corner. THERE IS NOT A PARKING LOT. You will need to street park. Don't park like an asshole.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Outside Cat and Twinkle Toes present an OUTSIDE CAT BITFDAY EXTRAVAGANZA! Start as Sunset Springs Park. We may or may not be tying a bag of flour to LuLu, we'll see - hope you like to swim! 4-5 miles true strail. Water crossings, and bring bug spray! Manned beer check with premium beer after 2:30pm-ish. We will post when we are about halfway done so people can start early if they want.

FROM SPORK: Things are a changin’ here in the Lone Star state. Apparently, people have gotten bored with the ‘rona, so it’s back to usual. Because Texas. That being said, we are going to do this in a compromise kind of way, a more use-real-lube-not-spit kinda way. Some people are ready to hash with hashers and some are not, so we’re going to let both do what they want to do. If you would like to do trail alone, start between WHEN THE HARES SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING and 1:69pm. Bam. On your own, living your best life. If you want to run the trail en masse, “OfFiCiAl” trail time will be at 2:00pm. If you want to do trail with hashers, show up around that time. Don't do it super late and die. That would suck.

We will still do virtual circle at 7:00pm, with the link to be posted sometime 30 minutes – 1 hour before on the Brass Monkey FB event. That’s all we’ve got. Make good decisions out there.

NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 06/24/2020):

• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and 2:00pm. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.

• Trail will be A-to-A.

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.

• If you would like to do the trail with other hashers in a somewhat "organized" way, show up at 2:00pm.

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork