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Thursday, May 08, 2025

BMH3 #399 – 5/10/2025: Monkeys Invade H4 campout! (at 12:30!)

 


We Need Hares! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

BMH3 #399 – 5/10/2025: Monkeys Invade H4 campout!

When:

Saturday, May Fifth TwentyTwentyfive
• Main Pack NOON:30 show, 1:00PM Go

Where:

The Cougar Den(not the bar)
403 Westbrook, Pinehurst, TX 77362
30.121326450819669, -95.65268853142169
https://maps.app.goo.gl/u8j8YzMFr5yiuUE56
 

Hares:

Horsefli DriveBi
Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
***ALERT*** 12:30 GATHER TIME!!!!!
So H4 has ventured into Monkey territory for their spring campout, on a Monkey Saturday no less!  But to appease the angry Monkeys, they have invited us to hare! So trail will start and end at the location of their campout!  We're gonna drink their beer, eat their snacks, and SWIM IN THEIR POOL!!!!!  But when circle is over, if you're not rego'd for the campout, you'll have to leave!
Trail is about 4 miles, super shiggy, wet(should be wading not swimming) and will have one manned beer check. Trail will have a POOL ENDING!!!!! Also, because "Planning" and "reasons" they're insisting on an EARLY START OF 12:30!!!!

Bring:

Trail clothes, pool clothes, drive home clothes
5$ hashcash
WATER, IT IS Getting HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, April 23, 2025

BMH3 #398 – 4/26/2025: Workless Cock in My Crick trail

 



 

Trails available in May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #398 – 4/26/2025: Workless Cock in My Crick trail   


When:

Saturday, April TwentySixth, Twothousand and TwentyFive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Man, I think we're gonna settle for this starting point and have a decent shot at winging it! 
30°06'48.4"N 95°29'21.0"W

Hares:

Workless Cock, H2HO and Mud in My Crick

If that in itself isn't special enough, fuck y'all. But also, in a tradition as old as time we'll probably have some Kosher Mezcal, and we can call it a birthday trail for myself

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

chatbot says:Event Title: "Woodland Wander Trail Run"

Join us for an exhilarating adventure through the beautiful, winding trails of the lush woodland! This run promises not only a challenge for your legs but also a feast for your senses. Experience the sights and sounds of nature as we navigate through tall trees, vibrant foliage, and serene streams.

Details:

Date: [Insert Date]
Time: [Insert Time]
Location: [Insert Location]
Distance: [Insert Distance] with marked trails for all levels
Whether you're a seasoned runner or just looking for a fun way to connect with nature and fellow participants, this run is perfect for everyone. Expect scenic views, uplifting camaraderie, and a post-run gathering where we can share stories and refreshments.

Come join the fun and let’s make some memories as we hash it out together in the great outdoors!

THE IRONMAN IS THIS SATURDAY!!! LOOK UP DIRECTIONS AHEAD OF TIME TO ACCOUNT FOR TRAFFIC DELAYS. 

Bring:

WATER, IT IS NICE AS HELL OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, April 09, 2025

BMH3 #397 – 4/12/2025: Indiana Bones and The Temple of Poon, and IVANNA Hairy Buttchug


 

Trails available in May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #397 – 4/12/2025: Indiana Bones and The Temple of Poon, and IVANNA Hairy Buttchug


When:

Saturday, April Twelfth, Twothousand and TwentyFive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Pundt Park
4129 Spring Creek Dr, Spring, TX 77373
https://maps.app.goo.gl/JvWZPbVNxyV7e1Tz5
30.08207227761969, -95.3784092193269

Hares:

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon
IVANNA Hairy Buttchug

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
It’s that time of year again, the time when the tax man is after all of us and this inspires Indiana and Ivanna to dream up new ways to punish the pack! Trail will be punishing, just like the IRS. There will be shiggy, there will be water crossings, there will be shot checks, all the things plus maybe some surprises, who knows? Just like the IRS.  Expect 3-5 miles and 2 beverage checks.


Bring:

WATER, IT IS NICE AS HELL OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Wednesday, March 26, 2025

BMH3 #396 – 3/29/2025: 🐦 Goose’s Birthday Trail: Twice the Water, Twice the Regret 🐦

 


 

 

Trails available in April and May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

BMH3 #396 – 3/29/2025: 🐦 Goose’s Birthday Trail: Twice the Water, Twice the Regret 🐦


When:

Saturday, March TwentyNinth TwentyTwentyfive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

30.00034527391169, -95.53189054600269
Otherwise referred to as the Stub-Out Road attached to the parking lot of the Chase Bank located at:
8421 Cypresswood Dr,
Spring, TX 77379
https://maps.app.goo.gl/kBQnJQdyrYgthFLt6


Hares:

Fuck Fuck Goose

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
🐦 Goose’s Birthday Trail: Twice the Water, Twice the Regret 🐦

Listen up, you pack of dehydrated degenerates! This week’s trail is a celebration of Goose’s birthday, and in true half-mind fashion, we are honoring it with questionable decisions, mysterious mileage, and more moisture than your last date. That is right—you might get to swim twice: once on trail (surprise water crossing? flooded trail? Goose’s tears?) and again at a Pool On-After. Hydration is mandatory. Drowning is optional.

🎉 THE OCCASION:

Goose has survived another trip around the sun without being banned from trail, arrested (publicly), or declared legally deceased. Let us gather to pretend we like him, drink in his honor, and yell "ON-ON" like it means something.

🦆 THE TRAIL:

Maybe 3 miles. Maybe 10. Maybe it loops. Maybe you are the loop. Goose scouted it with one eye closed and a beer in hand, so bring your sense of direction and lower your expectations. Might have shiggy. Might not. Might be flat. Might be vertical. Might be a metaphor for life. Who knows? Who cares?

💦 POOL ON-AFTER
:
Cool down your trail-stank in Goose’s pool.
🔥 BYOM – Bring Your Own Meat to grill
🍻 BYOB – Bring Your own Beverages
🍪 Some snacks may be provided, depending on how much Goose actually cares on Saturday
👙 Suits required – Yes, this is not your nudist colony fantasy. Goose’s spawn will be home.


Come out and celebrate our favorite feathered freak. You will sweat, you will swim, and you might survive. But either way, you will leave wetter, louder, and probably more confused than you arrived.

ON-ON, ya filthy animals!

From Misman: TRAIL STARTS AT 3PM!


Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 

 

Monday, March 10, 2025

BMH3 #395 – 3/15/2025: Brass Monkey's 69th Analversary Green Dress Run!!

Trails available in May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing





BMH3 #395 – 3/15/2025: Brass Monkey's 69th Analversary Green Dress Run!!

When: 

Saturday, March Fifteenth TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 1:00 PM show, 1:30 PM Go

Where:

Montgomery County Preserve Trailhead
Off of Pruitt Rd, The Woodlands
30.112237,-95.451832

https://goo.gl/maps/6r4dcwmQTx7pzmUu8

Hares:

101 Donations
Save a Horse (Ride a Mole)
Just Jude (Our Virgin Hare!)

From The Hares:

It’s been 10 years since 101 Donations and Save a Horse (Ride a Mole) hosted a Green Dress Run during their Wedding Campout Extravaganza. This time, they’re dragging some fresh meat into the mix—our very own Virgin Hare, Just Jude!

Expect 4.69 miles of pure Brass Monkey trail magic, with 2 Bier checks to keep you moving. The 1st Bier check is at a bar, so bring some cash and try not to soak it before you order a drink. The 2nd Bier check? Who knows—probably a swamp, a ditch, or some other questionable choice.

Trail will be shiggy, as expected (expectations kept low as usual), and water crossings will be plentiful. So, if you want to keep your Green Dress pristine, maybe bring a backup. Or don’t. We don’t judge.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS Not cold anymore!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D'erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Sorry, can’t hear you. (P.S. We’re still not sorry.)

Signal Group: Join the Madness
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp’s #: (817) 235-6141

On-On!
-=Twinkle Toes=-


Tuesday, February 25, 2025

BMH3 #394 – 3/1/2025: Womb Raider and Indiana Bones!


 

Trails available in May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

 BMH3 #394 – 3/1/2025: Womb Raider and Indiana Bones!


When:

Saturday, March First TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

That parking lot at the dead end of Old Riley Fuzzel Rd.
30.09344365472669, -95.40542051117569
https://maps.app.goo.gl/bcthLy6QYQfL3esV7

Hares:

Womb Raider
Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Months ago, I had fantasies of exotic virgin trails for my Birthday. As the time closed in, I realized that I was inherently lazy and would rather drink and nap than scout. Expect a pleasant jaunt through familiar territory punctuated with possible water crossings and at least one manned beer check with good beer and hard seltzers. Probably no shot checks because I’m old “now” and that shit gets dangerous. But hares lie and Indiana is my co-hare so who knows. Trail will be at least 3 but less than 5 miles.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS Not cold anymore!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Monday, February 10, 2025

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!


When:

Saturday, February Fifteenth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 1PM show, 1:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

TRAIL and camping:
Double Lake Hunter camp on NFSR 220
Forest Service Rd 220, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sL1SAkKX35KajKNB7

Hares:

Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Pack will DEPART AT 1:30!!! Don't be late!
Trail will be 4-6+ miles of glorious National Forest SHIGGY!  Expect regular shiggy, muddy shiggy, thorny shiggy!

CAMPING: For the on after, we will be CAMPING!!!!! After circle beer runs out and hash snacks are gone, you're on your own! Bring Your Own EVERYTHING! You'll need to take care of yourself until you can pack up and leave sunday morning! That means bring FOOD, WATER, BEER, and your POOP SHOVEL!
I highly recommend arriving a bit before trail and setting up your camp before trail. You can come as early as you want, even Friday!
These campsites are primitive, as in bring a poop shovel primitive!
It's looking like its going to get chilly Saturday night, so stop on the way to grab some firewood! either a couple bundles from the hardware store, or random places on the way to camp.



Bring:

WATER, you're camping and running, you'll get thirsty!
FOOD you have to feed yourself dinner, and maybe breakfast depending how fast you leave Sunday.
BOOZE, circle beer won't last all night
FIREWOOD
SHELTER
POOPSHOVEL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
Twinkle Toes Signal ID: JamesS.42
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-