BMH3 #387 -11/23/24 – Fuck Fuck Goose takes a baby monkey under his wing

 

 

 

2025 Hare Signups for the first half of the year are posted! Get yours now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #387 – Fuck Fuck Goose takes a baby monkey under his wing

When:

Saturday, November TwentyThird TwoThousandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Little Cypress Creek Preserve
Telge Rd & Spring Cypress Rd, Cypress, TX 77429
29.9906569,-95.6562469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/L4N5fU8Gx3G8bv3Y7

Hares:

ShoulderPads the Virgin Hare & F*ck F*ck Goose.

Sidenote:

Get ready for an epic adventure that promises equal parts chaos and camaraderie. Or just pure chaos. This trail has it all: a Virgin Hare ready to test their mettle, uncharted territory that F*ck F*ck Goose has only scoped out on Google Maps, at least one beer check (maybe two if the stars and hares align), and the ever-present risk of getting lost. Expect questionable decisions and constant cursing of the hares.  ON-ON!
📏 Distance:
Trail is allegedly planned for 4 miles, but knowing the hares, you might be signing up for 14 miles of scenic suffering. Pack your sense of humor, an extra pair of socks, a headlamp, and a snack just in case.
🌿 Shiggy Factor:
Expect at least 20 feet of shiggy—but be prepared for 20 miles. The hares have no idea what they are getting themselves into.
💦 Wetness Factor:
If you make it through trail completely dry, then congratulations. For everyone else, the On-After has you covered with a heated pool to ensure you do not leave the day without a good soak.

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Swimsuit, Towel, and Drinks for HEATED POOL on after!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3# CHRISTMAS PARTY 2024!!! FRIDAY 12/13/2024!!!

 

2025 Hare Signups are posted! Get yours now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

BMH3# CHRISTMAS PARTY 2024!!!

When:

Friday, December 13th at 7:00pm!!!

Where:

Maison du PoonChug
86 Sunlit Grove
The Woodlands, TX  77382

30.212852646305969, -95.52401180201169

https://maps.app.goo.gl/wiQe2XXdhdRg2QgC9

From The Hosts:

What's this? What's this?
There's hashers everywhere
What's this?
They're wearing slutty underwear
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes, I must be dreaming
Wake up, Spork, this isn't fair
What's this?

What's this? What's this?
There's something very wrong
What's this?
They're singing hashing songs
What's this?
The floors are lined with little passed out creatures
Everybody seems so wasted
Oh no, now they're getting naked?
What's this?!

I'll tell you what it is!  It's the Brass Monkey's Second AИAL Holiday Party!  That's right, since we had very little brain trauma and no pressed charges after last year, we've decided to try this shit again!  Since every fucking Saturday in December is taken already, we're doing it on a Friday!  And not just any Friday, FRIDAY THE 13TH!  So the thème will be "Nightmare Before Hashmas!"  So finish off your weekly chores, grab your best slut and dry mouth combatant, and HEAD on over!

There will be a white elephant gift exchange (~$15), and a TALLBOY ROULETTE!  What does that mean?  It means bring a $15 white elephant gift you can part with (it can be funny, slutty, naughty, stupid, really any word you could describe a Brass Monkey with) and exchange for another gift, and one tallboy of your choosing!  We will bring brown paper bags (because we're classy like that), hide the tallboys within said brown paper bags, and people will get one that they randomly select that they'll get to enjoy. (Heartburn meds not included)

What else do you need to bring?  Your own damn booze.  We've seen you people drink.  We know what you are capable of.  Will there be a random can of Lone Star somewhere you can probably drink?  Maybe... but I sure wouldn't count on it.  However, there will be food to eat!  If you want to bring a little side to share, feel free.  However, the homeowners said they will be making some nice warm food for us, so prepare your stomachs! (And probably your anus)

What can you count on?  Probably getting slutty in the hot tub time machine once the festivities are done.  BUTT, before you get into your Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, wear yourself a tacky holiday sweater or Nightmare Before Hashmas outfit!  Xmas?  Sure!  Chanukkah?  Why not!  Caroling dogs?  Sounds great!  Ketchup's Butthole blown up on a sweater?  Please no.

So, in conclusion, BRING:

•$15 white elephant gift
•A tallboy drink of your choosing
•Your swimsuit
•Your beverage of choice

You won't want to miss it!

0n-0n Bitches!
Cocktor Spork

 

 BMH3 #386 -11/09/2024- Save a Horses Marine Corps Pre-Lube Trail!

When:

Saturday, November Ninth, TwothousandandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beir Check!

Where:

The timber lane utility district community center
1902 Naplechase Dr
Spring, TX 77373
30.044265741951669, -95.40343757533269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/FWQoViyaGX72c8qz5
(Yes this is the same start location as 2 weeks ago)

Hare: 

Save a Horse, Ride a Mole

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail is 3 miles, 1 bier check. There will be water crossings, expect to get wet and bring a change of dry clothes. Hares can't promise a covered ending, but the RA can get their shit together and clear the weather before circle...

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.


Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.  Hur Hur the start location sounds like its on Nipplechase drive. (o)(o)


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #385 - 10/26/2024: Homoglobin's Birthday trail

 

BMH3 #385 - 10/26/2024: Homoglobin's Birthday trail

When:

Saturday, October TwentySex, TwothousandandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

The timber lane utility district community center
1902 Naplechase Dr
Spring, TX 77373
30.044265741951669, -95.40343757533269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/FWQoViyaGX72c8qz5


Hares:
Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
About 3.5 mile trail.
Everything friendly like dogs and such.
One beer check as customary.
On after will be at Kerchup and Road head’s place which is 15 minutes ish away.
Start time is 2pm now I believe?

FROM THE ON AFTER HOSTS!!!!
Halloween is just around the corner so it's time to dress up. KatchUp and Road Head are hosting a Halloween party at their house for On-After. It will be potluck style and BYOB. Looking forward to seeing everyone

Bring:

WATER, IT IS still HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Pot Luck item, a costume, and Drinks for on after!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.  Hur Hur the start location sounds like its on Nipplechase drive. (o)(o)


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024 Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

 

***We have one more trail left available in 2024!!!!! as soon as it is taken, I'll open up 2025! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024    Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

When:

Saturday, October 12th Twenty TwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

George Mitchell Nature Preserve
5171 Flintridge Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77381
https://maps.app.goo.gl/WYXAx4wMJfj49vd59
30.162925972371069, -95.51777841208369

Hares:
IVANNA HAIRY BUTTCHUG!!!!

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Every other week you halfminds do your best to kill my old ass off…either by a rough trail or by a rough on after. Anyway, I have survived yet another year of hashing and it’s your turn to pay! I’ll be laying a wonderful, celebration trail in honor of my birthday.  Expect shiggy, water crossings, and shenanigans. On after will be a pool ending with a taco bar! Bring your own booze and your own towel! I’m sick of losing towels to ya’ll fools!


Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT!
On after booze and towel and swimsuit!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

When:

Saturday, September TwentyFourth, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Spring Creek Nature trail
Dead End of Glen Loch Dr
https://maps.app.goo.gl/e1JyMeXagWSCCr3JA
30.113658605646269, -95.48915437527969

Hares:

Womb Raider and the Flock

Sidenote:

Note the early start!!!

FROM THE HARES:
The Birds are flying again! Join the Flock for 3 loops (6ish miles total) of shiggy, thorns and water crossing. There will be rubber duckies. There will be “bird” food and drinks. There will be a Nest full of beautiful birds and maybe a Chicken. There will be Flabongos. There is the possibility of an aquatic bird friendly on after. Bring your waterfowl suits just in case. Don’t forget to don your prettiest bird apparel!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!

A Swimsuit, towel, and drinks for the on after!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #382 - 09/14/2024: Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's BIRFDAY Trail!

 

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

BMH3 #382 - 09/14/2024: Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's BIRFDAY Trail!

When:

Saturday, September Fourteenth TwoThousandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Lakeside Park
5001 South Alden Bridge Drive, The Woodlands, TX 77382
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1zq2BiRhHCAVDsKb6
30.203710308105669, -95.54207881501769

Hares:

Cocktor Spork
Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
It's that time of year again, peeps. Cocktor Spork and Indiana Bones need to throw their anal birfday hash so we can have another hurricane hit Houston. Not sure the last time we had a birfday trail that didn't have a hurricane, a tropical depression, or a solid pounding. Not the fun kind, like the kind with rain. In any case, have we got a trail for you!

Between 3-5 miles with at least one beer check. Lots of shiggy, lots of water, and some damn b00b and dick checks. It's too far out to see what the weather will be, but my guess is somewhere in the 80°s and rain. So bring a damn change of clothes. Drink water, 'cause you're gonna get into the thick of it, and you need your powerful thighs to have the energy to push through.

For the THIRD hashhh in a row, 0n-After will have a pool - so bring your damn bathing suit! So not only will this be the trail of the year, but there will be an 0n-After with another chance to make hash babies later into the evening! As it turns out, chlorine is not a great seamen-stopper. #Science

We hope to see you out there - you won't wanna miss it!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Swimsuit,towel, and drinks for pool on after.
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-