Brass Monkey #422 03/28/26 Monkeys Invade the Galveston 300th

    

 

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Brass Monkey #422 03/28/26 Monkeys Invade the Galveston 300th

When: 

Saturday, March Twenty-Eighth, TwentyTwentySix
2PM Show, 2:30PM Go.

Where:

1776 Memorial park

FM 2351 and Imperial Rd.

Friendswood, TX 77546

 

https://maps.app.goo.gl/262myRZkWAWnGjhK9

 

29.541471364532369, -95.19669808629569 

 

Hares: 

Pimp Doggie Dawg

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 

It will be Shiggy, some waist deep water crossings, include 3 counties, beer check, tunnel(Bring a light!), probably some baby PI peaking out. The ladies are planning on some hot food and lone pint is donating some beer.

FROM THE MISMANAGEMENT:

This is a joint event with the Galveston hash! We're invading their 300th trail celebration!  They'll have food, beer, and even shirts(only guaranteed if you rego in time)

  You'll need to rego at their google rego or on their HashRego

We recommend you join their facebook event and direct any questions directly to them: https://fb.me/e/1WXvEaE6q8

 

Bring:

APPROPRIATE CLOTHING. Who do I look like the fucking weatherman?
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Probably a towel for drying off your wet feetsies

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3CHAT
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

!

BMH3 #413 11/22/2025 Short Cummingz and Outside Cat

 

 

 

We Need a Hare for December 6 trail, it'll be easy, we'll all be hungover from the holiday party! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #413 – 11/22/2025: Short Cummingz and Outside Cat

When: 

Saturday, November TwentySecond, TWentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:  *** Drive to this location and head EAST on Mulligan Drive until you see a bridge, look for assholes

Mulligan Dr & Honea Egypt Rd ->Then go east until you see a bridge
30.258758440466969, -95.57877846073669
https://maps.app.goo.gl/f7U5UtfeWehMj24E9

**If you  try to get on Mulligan from the Fish Creek Thoroughfare and head west, you're gonna have a hard time.

 

Hares: 

Short Cummingz

Outside Cat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Short Cummingz and Outside Cat take you on a trail with a bridge to nowhere. Double digit month, Double digit day, Double the fun.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS not cold yet!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

 

BMH3 #406 08/16/2025 From Swamp Monster to Pool Noodle

 

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BMH3 #406    08/16/2025  From Swamp Monster to Pool Noodle 

 

When:

Saturday, August Sixteenth TwentyTwentyfive

• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

• Manned Beer Check or two!

Where:

George Mitchell Nature Preserve

5171 Flintridge Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77381

30.162937771734669, -95.51776231450669

https://maps.app.goo.gl/xcK168SbjNLK6xK29

 

Hares:

IVANNA Hairy Buttchug

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Start your afternoon feeling like a creature from the deep, slogging through mud, muck, and questionable puddles, only to end it basking in chlorinated glory like a limp noodle on vacation. Bring your trail shoes, your sense of humor, and a swimsuit — in that order. Trail will be 3-5 miles, 1-2 beer checks, leave your dignity and good decisions at home! On after will be at the Ivanna/Poon pool Oasis. Food will be provided, bring your own drinks and TOWEL!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

A Towel, and beverages for the POOL ON AFTER!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6

 

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

 

0n-0n,

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #405 – 8/2/2025: Cougarand and 2 Mennanite Save the day with their POOL!!!

   

We Need Hares August 30th! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

BMH3 #405 – 8/2/2025: Cougarrand and 2 Mennanite Save the day with their POOL!!!

When: 

Saturday, August Second, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Cougarrands POOL!!!

403 Westbrook St. Pinehurst tx. 77362
https://maps.app.goo.gl/aA7hGLDpTNYD8FJM8
30.12121683773669, -95.6527930553569

Hares: 

Cougarrand

2-Mennanite

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:Cougarrand heard that we might be having a "famous" katchup beer mile instead of a regular trail because we didn't have a hare and she said NO! I will save the hash!  I will provide a shittggy trail 2.5 to 3 miles long, with shade and watercrossings. To top it off, I will provide a POOL ending! With a high likelihood of hotdogs!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!

Pool stuff, ya know, suit, towel, whatever you need. maybe some extra on after beers. 
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.


Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #403 – 7/5/2025: Penis Fly Crap's Summertime Swimming Hole & Shiggy

 

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BMH3 #403 – 7/5/2025: Penis Fly Crap's Summertime Swimming Hole & Shiggy

When: 

Saturday, July Fifth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Woodbranch Village Park
113 Maple Lane, Woodbranch, TX 77357
30.175492007089769, -95.17823874683869
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZdmHBCCYjt6RBvTE9

Hares: 

Penis Fly Crap

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 
Summertime is here, so the hare has planned 3-4 miles of shaded shiggy guaranteed to get you wet.  Trail is A-to-B, will feature a BX swimming hole, and a creekside On-In with a possible aquatic circle.  Bring: Virgins, $5, your favorite horsefly repellent, and a drinking vessel for Brass Monkeys .  

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
A shag bag, if you want any of your stuff at the end!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #402 – 6/21/2025: 🎉🐒 Dumb Cumpster & 5Foot Butthole’s Birthday Trail! 🐒🎉

 

 

 

 We Need Hares especially in July and August! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

BMH3 #402 – 6/21/2025: 🎉🐒 Dumb Cumpster & 5Foot Butthole’s Birthday Trail! 🐒🎉

When:

Saturday, June TwentyFirst TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 230PM show, 3:00PM Go

Where:

Burroughs park back parking lot by the pavilion
9738 Hufsmith Rd, Tomball, TX 77375
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sC5Ng638ZMLJkD2a8
30.138116103787569, -95.57641697486269

Hares:

Dumb Cumpster & 5Foot Butthole

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
🗺️ Trail Deets:
• 3- to 4-ish miles of birthday chaos
• Expect shiggy, water crossings, and probably some regret
• Dog-friendly (as long as your dog can swim or heckle drunk hashers)
• 1 glorious beer check to hydrate your filthy soul

🎉 On-After:
💦 Pool party at 5Foot Butthole’s party palace
👙 BYOB | Bring a towel | Swimsuits optional
🍿 We’ll have snacks
🎯 Games galore: flippy cup, beer pong, darts, pool shenanigans, backyard games
🎶 Music, chaos. Bad decisions encouraged

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
For the on AFTER BYOB, BYOTOWEL!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #399 – 5/10/2025: Monkeys Invade H4 campout! (at 12:30!)

 

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BMH3 #399 – 5/10/2025: Monkeys Invade H4 campout!

When:

Saturday, May Fifth TwentyTwentyfive
• Main Pack NOON:30 show, 1:00PM Go

Where:

The Cougar Den(not the bar)
403 Westbrook, Pinehurst, TX 77362
30.121326450819669, -95.65268853142169
https://maps.app.goo.gl/u8j8YzMFr5yiuUE56
 

Hares:

Horsefli DriveBi
Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
***ALERT*** 12:30 GATHER TIME!!!!!
So H4 has ventured into Monkey territory for their spring campout, on a Monkey Saturday no less!  But to appease the angry Monkeys, they have invited us to hare! So trail will start and end at the location of their campout!  We're gonna drink their beer, eat their snacks, and SWIM IN THEIR POOL!!!!!  But when circle is over, if you're not rego'd for the campout, you'll have to leave!
Trail is about 4 miles, super shiggy, wet(should be wading not swimming) and will have one manned beer check. Trail will have a POOL ENDING!!!!! Also, because "Planning" and "reasons" they're insisting on an EARLY START OF 12:30!!!!

Bring:

Trail clothes, pool clothes, drive home clothes
5$ hashcash
WATER, IT IS Getting HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!

When:

Saturday, February Fifteenth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 1PM show, 1:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

TRAIL and camping:
Double Lake Hunter camp on NFSR 220
Forest Service Rd 220, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sL1SAkKX35KajKNB7

Hares:

Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Pack will DEPART AT 1:30!!! Don't be late!
Trail will be 4-6+ miles of glorious National Forest SHIGGY!  Expect regular shiggy, muddy shiggy, thorny shiggy!

CAMPING: For the on after, we will be CAMPING!!!!! After circle beer runs out and hash snacks are gone, you're on your own! Bring Your Own EVERYTHING! You'll need to take care of yourself until you can pack up and leave sunday morning! That means bring FOOD, WATER, BEER, and your POOP SHOVEL!
I highly recommend arriving a bit before trail and setting up your camp before trail. You can come as early as you want, even Friday!
These campsites are primitive, as in bring a poop shovel primitive!
It's looking like its going to get chilly Saturday night, so stop on the way to grab some firewood! either a couple bundles from the hardware store, or random places on the way to camp.

Bring:

WATER, you're camping and running, you'll get thirsty!
FOOD you have to feed yourself dinner, and maybe breakfast depending how fast you leave Sunday.
BOOZE, circle beer won't last all night
FIREWOOD
SHELTER
POOPSHOVEL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
Twinkle Toes Signal ID: JamesS.42
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024 Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

 

***We have one more trail left available in 2024!!!!! as soon as it is taken, I'll open up 2025! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024    Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

When:

Saturday, October 12th Twenty TwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

George Mitchell Nature Preserve
5171 Flintridge Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77381
https://maps.app.goo.gl/WYXAx4wMJfj49vd59
30.162925972371069, -95.51777841208369

Hares:
IVANNA HAIRY BUTTCHUG!!!!

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Every other week you halfminds do your best to kill my old ass off…either by a rough trail or by a rough on after. Anyway, I have survived yet another year of hashing and it’s your turn to pay! I’ll be laying a wonderful, celebration trail in honor of my birthday.  Expect shiggy, water crossings, and shenanigans. On after will be a pool ending with a taco bar! Bring your own booze and your own towel! I’m sick of losing towels to ya’ll fools!


Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT!
On after booze and towel and swimsuit!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

When:

Saturday, September TwentyFourth, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Spring Creek Nature trail
Dead End of Glen Loch Dr
https://maps.app.goo.gl/e1JyMeXagWSCCr3JA
30.113658605646269, -95.48915437527969

Hares:

Womb Raider and the Flock

Sidenote:

Note the early start!!!

FROM THE HARES:
The Birds are flying again! Join the Flock for 3 loops (6ish miles total) of shiggy, thorns and water crossing. There will be rubber duckies. There will be “bird” food and drinks. There will be a Nest full of beautiful birds and maybe a Chicken. There will be Flabongos. There is the possibility of an aquatic bird friendly on after. Bring your waterfowl suits just in case. Don’t forget to don your prettiest bird apparel!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!

A Swimsuit, towel, and drinks for the on after!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #381 - 08/31/2024: Just Lulus(the human) Virgin Lay and Outside Cat with a pool party and fajitas on after!!!!

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #381 - 08/31/2024: Just Lulus(the human) Virgin Lay and Outside Cat

When:

Saturday, August ThirtyFirst TWentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Champion Forest Park
9650 Cypresswood Dr, Houston, TX 77070
29.9912634597069, -95.55229335755269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/xQ1MnUbsTQNX2aFG6

Hares:

Just Lulu(the human)
Outside Cat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Do you like getting hot?
Do you like getting wet?
Do you like wishing death on the people that made you hot and wet?
If so, have we got a trail for you!  
Cum one, cum all, for Just Lulu the Human's VIRGIN Hare!  
Since we don't hate her, and want her to live and stick around, we decided KatchUp should not be the one to teach her how to hare.  No, we thought it was time for her to have a slap of reality and get a full day of a hungover Outside Cat.  We're guessing.  Cum see the result when Outside Cat spends the day directing the small, drunk kitten that is Just Lulu the Human.  Will she try to treat Lulu the Human like Lulu the Dog?  Bark bark, bitch.  What else are we guessing?  

Trail will be about 3-4 miles... we think.  
There will be shade and water to get wet... possibly.  
And last but not least, there will be a POOL ENDING WITH FAJITAS!!  Allegedly.  If that were to transpire, it would be a BYOB type of on-after.  Not like, "Ohh, can I have some circle beer for on-after?"  Le no.  There will be gas stations along the way, or you can bring a lil'ol cooler with your favorite beverages in it.  Of note, Just Lulu the Human does not yet have a hash name.  She needs a hash name.  If you have stories, bring them.  If you don't, start making them up.  We've gotten through the climax of heat, and now we're dropping faster than Lulu's patience level with KatchUp when he's trying to mansplain things to her.  So cum on out, you won't wanna miss it!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS STILL HOT!

Swimsuit, plate, utensils and beverage of choice for on after!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #380 – 8/17/2024: Ivanna Hairy Buttchug and Indiana Bones and the temple of poon

 

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #380 – 8/17/2024: Ivanna Hairy Buttchug and Indiana Bones and the temple of poon

When:

Saturday, August Seventeenth, Twentytwentyfour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Parking-Lake at Springwoods Village Nature Preserve
https://maps.app.goo.gl/HectJLjAZUPvhnka9
30.1026966455169, -95.45671382024069
If you find yourself at the cul-de-ballsac on Morning Dove Bend, you went the wrong way, Go back to Holzworth, head north, and keep going down the dirt road.

Hares:

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug
Indiana Bones and the temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Are you ready for a day of water play, slip n slides and water slides?  We have none of that. But we will have a refreshing day in the creek. We will take you through some great shiggy and pour you into the water for some river fun.  Bring a float!  Trail will take you down the creek so find something you can float on, you know, rubber raft, a log, an old couch cushion, anything that will keep you above water.  Trail will be 3-4 miles with at least 1 beer check. Bring sun tan lotion and bug spray.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #378 – 7/20/2024: Slumbag!

 

 

***We Need hares on Aug 31, and Nov/Dec!!! Sign up here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

BMH3 #378 – 7/20/2024: Slumbag!

When:

Saturday, July TWentieth TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check or TWO

Where:

That parking lot at the dead end of old riley fuzzel rd
1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386(not exact address, you want to be on the south side of 99, in the usual parking lot.  Just use the GPS coordinates)
30.093409547239269, -95.40565000189469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/c6ygnR64Lg3FZ4kT7

Hares:

Slumbag

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
3-5 miles, 1 or 2 beer checks. Distance and Beer X depending on temps on Saturday.    Plenty of shiggy.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #372 – 04/27/2024 Save a Horses barfday trail!

 

 

 

 

****We NEED HARES FOR THE NEXT FEW TRAILS!!!  

SIGN UP NOW! 

https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 

BMH3 #372 – 04/27/2024    Save a Horses barfday trail!

When:

Saturday, April 27th TwentyTWentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• At least 1 bier check!

Where:

H4 campout!
801 Oakridge Cir, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.58409077278769, -95.15002116282569
https://maps.app.goo.gl/8e3Hzq5w1KMAJWZT8

Hares:

Save a Horse (Ride a Mole)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Save a Horse (Ride a Mole) Barfday Trail -
Due to H4's pour comprehension of how to navigate shiggy, their humble misman has asked kindly (and how!) for the illustrious Save a Horse to save their asses.
Now, being the noble hare as always, Save a Horse has graciously decided to grant their request. And to even do so on their exact birthday!! What a gentleman, indeed.
Expect the usual from a Mole trail. To ensure more time for bier, trail will be no more than 3 miles. There will certainly be water crossings, at least 1 bier check, and you bet your sweet virgin ass there will be shiggy, the gods damn it!
Start is at 801 Oakridge Cir, Coldspring, TX 77331
It's just a little journey through pine country to get there, so plan your departure from a safe, dry, and thornless home accordingly.


From MISMAN: If you're super lame, and not attending the H4 campout, THATS OK!  They have graciously agreed to have a trail/circle only option for $5! So COME! Pay your $5, do trail, circle, and then hit the road!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #370 – 3/30/2024: Penis Fly Crap and Just Scott

 

****Lots of summer trails available!!  SIGN UP NOW! MAKE US WET!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 

 BMH3 #370 – 3/30/2024: Penis Fly Crap and Just Scott

When:

Saturday, March 30th TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

6307 Green Forest Ln, Spring, TX 77386
30.069789682880369, -95.3183812207469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/W7qLHnvPBxare6jo7

Hares:

Penis Fly Crap
Just Scott

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Cum on out for a lovely spring hash and Just Scott's virgin hare.  No gimmicks, just shiggy.  Bring $5 and virgins

Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING REALLY NICE OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #367 – 2/17/2024: TWINKLE TOES 40th birthday!! and Brass Monkey 14th anniversary CAMPOUT!

 

****We need Hares in March and April!!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #367 – 2/17/2024: TWINKLE TOES 40th birthday!! and Brass Monkey 14th anniversary CAMPOUT!

When:

Saturday, February Seventeenth, TwoThousandandTwentyFour

•Camping: Anytime you want, I suggest early enough to setup camp before trail

• Trail: Main Pack NOON show, NOON:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

TRAIL:
Double Lake Hunter camp on NFSR 220
Forest Service Rd 220, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sL1SAkKX35KajKNB7

Camping:Go read the Notes from the Hares!

Hare:

TWINKLE TOES!!!!!!!

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
TRAIL:  Trail will gather at NOON, Pack off at NOON:30! Trail will be 4 to 6 miles of glorious Sam Houston National Forest shiggy.  I mean this area is just some of the best shiggy I have had the pleasure to scout and lay in a looooong time.  Expect serious shiggy, if necessary, you will be able to bail at the beer checks.  I highly recommend Shiggy Socks/pants, long sleeves,and bug spray, I found a tick on me afterwards.

CAMPING: For the on after, we will be CAMPING!!!!! After circle beer runs out and hash snacks are gone, you're on your own! Bring Your Own EVERYTHING! You'll need to take care of yourself until you can pack up and leave sunday morning.
I highly recommend arriving a bit before trail and setting up your camp before trail. You can come as early as you want, even Friday!
These campsites are primitive, as in bring a poop shovel primitive!

With the weather being a little soggy in the days beforehand, we have two options for campsite:
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369    The Start location campsite, it's nicer, but tends to become a bit muddy, so if it's too muddy, or crowded, we'll go to option B

Option B will just be a little farther down NFSR 220: 30.539560125179769, -95.1290570960769  It's closer to the road, but less pooling water, If we camp here we'll do CarFronts to the start of trail.

I'll post and park my Jeep at whichever site I think we should use, but really whoever sets up tents first gets it.

Bring:

WATER, you're camping and running, you'll get thirsty!
FOOD you have to feed yourself dinner, and maybe breakfast depending how fast you leave Sunday.
BOOZE, circle beer won't last all night
FIREWOOD
SHELTER
POOPSHOVEL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail and camping on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #366 – 02/03/2024: 4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

 

****The rest of 2024 Trail signups are now available!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

BMH3 #366 – 02/03/2024: 4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

When:

Saturday, February Third, TwoThousand and Twenty Four
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

South end Cul De Sac of Mesa Dr, Humble, TX 77396
https://maps.app.goo.gl/cWm7bPNwvEEAy8WH8
29.92454993098769, -95.28004306775469

Hares:

4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail will by A-to-A prime!!! Length 3.69 miles
Info: A mix of shiggy and NE Houston splendor! Lots of rough terrain, one section with scrambling up/down a hill, a BVC water crossing over a plank bridge, multiple instances of trespassing (j/k.. unless?), yeah folks we got it all! Should be dog friendly, but walkers need to be ready for difficult terrain, walking over broken glass/boards-with-nails, etc. Because of recent rain, there will likely be plenty of standing water and sogginess on trail. Plan accordingly!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

Turns out Nutz likes you and gave me directions to pass along!
Going eastbound on BW8 North loop, take Mesa Dr exit (first exist after 59, last free exit), turn right onto Mesa Dr and drive into the Fall Creek subdivision. Go past two pools and over a bridge and you’ll reach southern termination point of Mesa Dr. Look for hashers.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #362 – 12/9/2023: Beating around the Bush at NOON!

TRAIL STARTS AT NOON!!!!!!!!
 

 

****2024 Trail signups are now available!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #362 – 12/9/2023: Beating around the Bush at NOON!

When:

Saturday, December Ninth, TwoThousand and Twenty Three
• Main Pack 12PM show, 12:30PM Go
• TWO Manned Beer Checks

Where:

8069 Volta Drive, Humble   
https://maps.app.goo.gl/UBW9oA5nNFtQQit49
29.995812270411569, -95.30333820674669

Hare:

Penis Fly Crap

Sidenote: TRAIL STARTS AT NOON

FROM THE (H)AIRS:
Instead of wasting precious time coming up with monkey aviation puns for a trail description, your hare spent his time on the ground planning an awesome trail around Bush Intercontinental.  Peak fall foliage is finally arriving in Houston, so you will be treated to lovely leaves as you hash over the hills and through the woods surrounding the airport.  You'll probably get two beer checks and some planespotting.  There are lots of deer around, and shiggy, and traffic, so I'd advise leaving dogs at home.
Bring $5 and virgins AT NOON

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking look in the sky and follow the big airplanes north.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #359 – 10/28/2023: Super Secret last minute hares!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We Need Hares for 11/25, and 12/9!  To sign up to hare Follow this link! 2024 trail signups will be opening after all 2023 dates are filled!!!🚨🚨🚨🚨 

BMH3 #359 – 10/28/2023: Super Secret last minute hares!

When:

Saturday, October TwentyEighth
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check Probably

Where:

Inway Pool back parking lot
6041-5925 Inway Dr, Spring, TX 77389
https://maps.app.goo.gl/aPthw5pHpySdbCn28
30.112467919545669, -95.51176940949169

Hares:

Outside Cat
Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Outside Cat and Twinkle Toes have swooped in to save us from another Katchup Monkey mile!
Trail will be SHIGGY! WET! and between 3 and 5 miles!

Bring:

WATER, IT WILL BE WARM AND HUMID!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #358 – 10/14/2023: Ivanna Hairy Buttchugs 60th birthday trail!!!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We have an opening for a halloween(almost) trail! As well as some end of the year trails. To sign up to hare Follow this link! 2024 trail signups will be opening after all 2023 dates are filled!!!🚨🚨🚨🚨 

 

 

BMH3 #358 – 10/14/2023: Ivanna Hairy Buttchugs 60th birthday trail!!!

When:

Saturday, October Fourteenth, TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Two Beer Checks!!!

Where:

Montgomery County Preserve Trailhead
1118 Pruitt Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77380
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ozrxj37gasBHsMSY7
30.111908556752769, -95.4520563903269

Hare:

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug!

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Come on out for the once in a lifetime event, more rare even than an eclipse! 

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug has survived another decade despite how much the Brass Monkeys try to turn him into their new Heartache! Help us celebrate Ivanna's 60th birthday! Ivanna considered themes fitting of such a milestone...a 60 mile trail? No. 60 water crossings? Too hard. 60 beer checks? Too drunk. Celebrate all the presidencies he has survived? Too controversial. Ivanna has a plan he knows you will enjoy? Remember start time is at 2pm SPORK!!! 

Expect 4ish miles, 2 beer checks, water crossings, shiggy and a 2pm start...SPORK!!! 

 Maybe Indiana will remember and bring some cake or something.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS H̶O̶T̶!̶  Actually it'll be pretty nice, but still, bring water, dont blame us if you get dehydrated!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-