BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 227: SKÖRK

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 227 - Cocktor Spork & Skeet Squad Present: Skörk, The 10 Year Analversary!

When: Saturday, October 6th, at **3:00pm!**

Where: Bear Branch Sports Fields

5205 Research Forest Drive

The Woodlands, TX 77381

Hares: Cocktor Spork + Skeet Squad = Skörk

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON:

I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Take Exit 77 for Research Forest Drive. Turn left on Research Forest Drive and go for 3 miles and Bear Branch Sports Fields will be on your LEFT - *not* Bear Branch Skatepark across the street on the right! Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: There are times in life when we come together to celebrate great things – wonderful things… this is not one of those times. *However*, we are still going to lay a fucking trail anyway, and you know damn well you want to come. Cocktor Spork and Skeet Squad met at a country wedding where mullets and confederate flags were in the majority, a place where they still bartered in natty light. That night, as the country music played, their eyes met over a horseshoe game and instantly they were drawn to each other like MOTHS to an unguarded 45-watt lightbulb. Their kindred spirits met and became one. Now, instead of buying each other shiny and reflective things, we shall lay a trail where we will, no doubt, get into a fight like people who have actually been married 10 years. Now, what can you expect? At least ONE beer check and at least ONE shot check! The shots will be reminiscent of drinks that turned these two into one… like spice girls bitches. SEXUAL CHOCOLATE! Trail will be three to five miles, probably shorter, but fences and google aren’t exactly on speaking terms. We shall see. Bring a change of clothes because on after is slightly better than Papa’s, so we’ll need to look a little less homeless than usual.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 226 - Ivanna Hairy Buttchug & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's B00B n' DICK Birfday Extravaganza!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 226 - Ivanna Hairy Buttchug & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's B00B n' DICK Birfday Extravaganza!

When: Saturday, September 22nd, at **3:00pm!**

Where: Target

32858 FM 2978 Road

Magnolia, TX  77354

*Park in the Target parking lot against the Research Forest side*

Hares: Ivanna Hairy Buttchug & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON:

I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Take the exit for TX-242 West/College Park Drive.  Take the feeder to the light, then turn left.  Go for like 2.5 miles, then turn left on Green Bridge Drive.  Take that until it dead ends into Research Forest Drive, then turn right.  Take that all the way until you see a big ass Target on your right, then park in the parking lot nearest you next to Target.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: This will be Indiana Bones' and Ivanna Hairy Buttchug's combined BIRFDAY trail.  We will celebrate with a beer check, some sort of booze check, and we may leave other birthday gifts on trail, too!  Trail is dog friendly, shaded, and mostly dry with some really nice shiggy!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 225 - Spork’s Nighttime BDay GayDay Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 225 - Spork’s Nighttime BDay GayDay Trail!

When: Saturday, September 8th, at *****7:00pm!*****

Where: Sawmill Park

2200 Millpark Drive

The Woodlands, TX 77380

Hare: Cocktor Spork

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON:

I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Take Exit 73 for Rayford/Sawdust. Turn left at the light (Sawdust), and go straight for like two miles. Turn left onto Millpark Drive - directly past Sawmill Road, the park is on your left. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARE: Ladies & Gents, Boys & Girls, ‘tis that time a year again. The time when you come wish Spork good luck for another year of gay-llivanting around, doing Spork things. So I, Cocktor Spork, shall in turn give you a short and sweet little trail that you will no doubt love. BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE! Also happening on this day, for the first time EVER, The Woodlands will be having a PRIDE festival for all the gays and those who have the body of a gay, but say they aren’t gay, even though they say it with dicks falling out of their mouths. And hags, they’re there, too. Now, because people in The Woodlands are rich and don’t understand how the gays work, their festival is from 11:00am – 5:00pm. Gays don’t even get out of bed until 5:00pm. Anywho, I will of course be attending, because, duh: unicorns, rainbows, booze, drag queens, all the things. So, I will go there and be merry, drinking alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day, and then I will come and LIVE LAY, yes LIVE LAY, this glorious trail for you fine folks at 7:00pm in the evening!!! NOTE THE FUCKING TIME! So, bring a fucking headlamp. Seriously, it’ll be darkish. There will be some urban, some shiggy, and have a beer check on top! At the beer check, you will catch a rare glimpse of the Cum-Puss, out of his natural habitat, most likely gnawing on some kind of noodle or meat-stick. So, cum one, cum all, and cum in the evening with the rest of us!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 224 - The 2nd Anal Flock You Hash

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 224 - The 2nd Anal Flock You Hash

When: Saturday, August 25th, at ***3:00pm!***

Where: Northwood Pines Park

Spring, TX 77373

(Off Northgate Crossing Blvd. & Kingbriar Lane)

Hares: Dumbsterbaitor, Womb Raider, Mouth Organ and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON:

I-45 N to exit 72. From north feeder turn right towards Hardy toll road then left onto Northgate Crossing Blvd.

OR

Hardy toll road to Northgate crossing exit. Turn right on Northgate Crossing Blvd.

Park is on the right in about ½ a mile.

Please car pool if you can. Parking lot is on the smaller side.

Sidenote:

FROM THE FLOCK LEADERS: It is once again time to don those beautiful feather and get ready to fly thru the shiggy!! We want to see some BIRDS so there will be PRIZES!! 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place prizes for best birds. If you’re the only bird then WHOO HOO you get all the loot!! Don’t miss out!! Put on your best feathers!! Trail will be a 3-4 mile mix of runnable trail, shiggy (of course) and water crossings. Trail should be hash dog friendly. There will be 2 (yes 2!) manned Flocktail checks with hard cider, good beer, possibly something weird from Indiana Bones and cold water so you don’t die. Womb Raider is baking some cookies and possibly concocting a special Flocktail drink for circle. See all you birds Saturday.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 223

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 223

When: Saturday, August 11th, at ***3:00pm!***

Where: Timber Lakes/Timber Ridge Pool-ish

3434 Royal Oaks Drive,

The Woodlands, TX

*Park along Timber Lakes Road. Look for assholes.

Hare: Homoglobin

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road to exit 73 for Rayford / Sawdust. Turn left onto Sawdust Road, and take it for like 4-ish lights, and SAWDUST TURNS LEFT. Like, going straight is another street, so yeah, turn left onto Sawdust at the Starbucks/Burger King intersection. You will then follow Sawdust the entire fucking way until it deadends. You'll go hard right, right, left, bam, fucking deadend. Turn right onto Glen Lock Drive. Turn left on Royal Oaks Drive. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARE: 3-4 mile trail, water crossings, dog friendly! Nothing else spectacular besides shiggy one beer check.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 222

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 222

When: Saturday, July 28th, at ***3:00pm!***

Where: Spring Creek Greenway Nature Center

1300 Riley Fuzzel Road, Spring, TX 77386

Hares: Aryan Sisterhood, Outside Cat, Twinkle Toes, and Croc of Shit

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take Hardy Toll Road North for like 20 miles then take the Riley Fuzzel Road exit.  Turn right onto Riley Fuzzel Road, then turn left into the park right there.  Bam.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Yes it will be hot, yes it will be miserable, yes we’re being punished for our (ketchup’s) sins. But not Saturday God, Saturday we celebrate the suck. Outside Cat, Twinkle Toes, and Croc of Shit will do their best to make this a survivable trail. It’ll be less than 3 miles of shade, water, at least one beer check, and heat strokes. Come find out what bad habits Aryan Sisterhood has learned hashing in DFW.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 220 - Outside Cat & Penis First, Mouth Second's BIRFDAY Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 220 - Outside Cat & Penis First, Mouth Second's BIRFDAY Trail!

When: Saturday, June 30th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Burroughs Park

9738 Hufsmith Road

Tomball, TX  77375

Hares: Penis First, Mouth Second & Outside Cat

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North to the Grand Parkway (TX-99) and go West, that's left.  Take that to Küykendahl Road and turn right.  Go until you hit Huffsmith, then turn left.  Park will be after the left curve.  Go to the back.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

Here we go people, Outside Cat & Penis First, Mouth Second have come together to celebrate their BIRFDAYs, and that can't be very good for either of them, so why should it be for the rest of us?  According to the hares this is going to be a LIVE trail!  You heard me right, people, LIVE, which we've only done like... twice?  Maybe?  At least one beer check.  They made it their goal to make you wet and bloody, so we'll see how well they do!  If you catch the hares, something may happen.  In their words, "You may regret catching us, but may the bold bring it on hard and learn a new reason to hate us." They said everyone should bring a DD, and expect a "YuccaLaid stand at finish"... whatever that means.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 219 - The 1st AИAL DILF Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 219 - The 1st AИAL DILF Trail!

When: Saturday, June 16th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Jesse H. Jones Park & Nature Center

20634 Kenswick Drive

Humble, TX 77338

Hares: Ivanna Hairy ButtChug & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-69 (yeah, said it) to FM 1960, then turn left onto 1st St E/FM1960 Business W/Humble Westfield Rd. Go like 1.5-ish miles and turn right onto Kenswick Drive. Go straight all the way until you go balls deep into the park. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

Ladies & Gentlemen, cum one cum all, to the 1st AИAL DILF Trail! That’s right, unbeknownst to our hares, but knownst to us, this will be the first of many DILF trails in the cumming years! So, what can you expect? According to the lying hares, you can expect 3-4 miles of some solid shiggy, with at least one beer check! Dog friendly, as long as they can swim. Same goes for virgins. This is also Father’s Day weekend, so wear your best dad inspired gear and make us proud! Tacky fannypack? Got it! Terrible dad joke shirt? Yup, in the bag! Dad socks and plaid shirts? Yes, we all know Ivanna has those. So cum on out and beat the heat with your monkey family and a bunch of DILFs. DILFs pay only $5 hashcash, wow, can you believe it?! One day only, you heard it here!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 218 - Spork Breaks In the Hashlettes

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 218 - Spork Breaks In the Hashlettes

When: Saturday, June 2nd, at ***2:00pm!*** 

Where: Bear Branch Sportsfields
5205 Research Forest Drive 
The Woodlands, TX 77381

Hares: Cocktor Spork, Just Brett, and Just (Virgin) Mary

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections: 
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead-ends into I-45. Take exit 77 toward Lake Woodlands Dr/Research Forest Dr/Tamina Rd. Go to your first light, Research Forest drive, and turn left. Go 3 miles and the park will be on your left. *Note* There is a Skatepark directly across the street, it's not that one, it's the big ass one on the left. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: The heat has arrived, the sun is scorching, and I sure as fuck don't want to be in the sun very long. So, you can expect lots of fuckin shiggy. Hopefully. You know what Google Maps doesn't show? Fences. What else can you expect? Some gaddam water crossings! After that? A beer check with water, beer, and some little freezy-pops! Whaaaaaaaattttttttttttt – game changa! Trail should be somewhere between 3 – 4 miles, with falses, b00b checks, dick checks, and all kinds of other marks Heartache will no doubt miss when he shows up an hour and a half late. Co-haring alongside me will be two Brass Monkey babies, brought to us as virgins, now on their way to being official couch-fuckers. They have willingfully – that means consented – decided to go into the deep dark woods with I, Cocktor Spork, to learn the true Brass Monkey ways of haring. Our little Just Brett and Just (Virgin) Mary will cum ready to learn bright and early this Saturday, where they will no doubt be inserted with knowledge, filled with understanding, and be erected to the level of Brass Monkey hares – you won’t want to miss it! 

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 217

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 215 - Gator's Rootin' Tootin' Crawfish Trail Extravaganza!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 214 - BMH3 Invades the H4 Campout... Then Fucks Off.

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 214 - BMH3 Invades the H4 Campout... Then Fucks Off.

When: Saturday, April 7th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: H4 Spring Campout!

7606 FM-2854, Conroe, TX 77304, United States

*If you are rego'd cool, if not you can pay $5 for the hash, then 0n-out after swinglow to 0n-After.

Hares: McPisser, Horsefli Drivebi, and Cocktor Spork

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Head North on I-45 all the way to Exit 87A toward FM2854/TX-105/Conroe. Merge onto the N Fwy service road and turn right on the loop to get to FM 2854 / Metcalf St / Old Montgomery Road. Turn right on Metcalf/FM 2854 and go west on FM 2854 for approx. 3 miles. Scott Lake is on the Left (south) just past the intersection with Loop 336.

The normal entrance to the site is 3.2 miles from the turn off of I-45 and the entrance for trailers, porta potties, ICP etc. is 2.7 miles from the junction. The entrances lead under the railroad tracks. Use the second entrance on the left and go under the railroad tracks. This will take you around the lake to the main camping area.

Sidenote:

FROM ONE OF THE HARES: So this weekend's trail was supposed to be laid by Homoglobin, but he had something come up in the muggle-world, so he'll be doing one later! So there I was, about to plan a trail, when McPisser comes up and says "Spork! I wanted to talk to you about the next Brass Monkey trail. It happens to be in Monkey territory during the Houston..." Then I said "YES!" without fully grasping the consequences or my actions. As I started to walk away, McPisser whispered "...and you can lay it with us..." Well shit. So yeah, there we are. What can you expect? Some fucking shiggy, that's for sure. What else? Probably more. If you are not rego'd for the campout, that's cool, you'll just pay your $5, do trail & circle, then be on your merry way. No drama. No "Ohhh, let me stay", just 0n-0ut to 0n-After. Plan on water crossings, at least one beer check, and some bad decisions.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 213 - Like a (Hash) Virgin Trail

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 213 - Like a (Hash) Virgin Trail

When: Saturday, March 24th, at ***3:00pm!*** DAYLIGHT SAVINGS, BITCHES!

Where: Papa's Ice House

314 Pruitt Road

The Woodlands, TX 77380

Hare: Womb Raider

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead-ends into I-45. Take Exit 73, Rayford / Sawdust Road, then take that all the way to the first light (Rayford / Sawdust) and take the far left lane to loop under the freeway to go back North. Right past the Texaco is Pruitt Road, turn right. Go for a hot second and Papa's Ice House will be on your right. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARE: I am feeling nostalgic. Trail will start where I lost my hash virginity to the Brass Monkey and started down this path of drunken ruin & debauchery. Yay!!! There will be BOOBS!!! There will be BEER!!! There will be DICKS!!! Expect 3-4 miles of shiggy and to get wet at two or more water crossings of yet to be determined depth (I don’t like to swim so you probably won’t drown). Trail should be dog friendly for experienced hash pups.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 212 - 7th AИAL Brass Monkey Green Dress!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 212 - 7th AИAL Brass Monkey Green Dress!

When: Saturday, March 10th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Texas ENT Specialists

10857 Küykendahl Road

The Woodlands, TX 77382

***Park at the back corner along Flintridge Drive***

Hares: Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon & Ivanna Hairy ButtChug!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North to Woodlands Parkway, or Hardy Toll Road until it dead-ends into I-45. Exit Woodlands Parkway and take that to Küykendahl Road and turn left. Right on Flightridge Drive, second driveway on the right. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: It's that time of year, that time that getting slutty, drunk, and passing out is totally acceptable, nay - encouraged. No, not a funeral, but St. Patty's Day! Cum celebrate the 7th AИAL Brass Monkey Green Dress as Temple of Poon and Ivanna lay you a "fantastic" trail! Trail will be 4-5 miles with something for everyone: water crossings, shiggy, pavement, and obviously jesus thorns since it's a religious holiday. There will be THREE drink checks - not beer, but drinks - and some holiday thèmed antics and prizes, including a prize for BEST OUTFIT! You won't want to miss this spectacular shitshow and exceptional people watching event. Bring your A game, bring a green dress, and bring your damn sassy-ass style, because you might get a prize! Cum one, cum all, cum in green!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 211: Twinkle Toes' Birfday Campout & BMH3 8th Analversary!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 211: Twinkle Toes' Birfday Campout & BMH3 8th Analversary!

When: Saturday, February 24th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Big Woods Hunter Camps, Sam Houston National Forest

https://goo.gl/maps/BpH6pqRirWo

30.615562, -95.293890

Hare: Twinkle Toes

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

From Houston / The Woodlands:

Take I-45 North,

Take Exit 102 for Farm to Mkt Rd 1375

At the traffic circle, take the 1st exit onto FM 1375 E - 0.5 mi

Turn left onto TX-75 N - 0.1 mi

Turn right onto Gibbs St - 0.1 mi

Turn left onto FM 1375 E/Elmore St - 7.8 mi

Turn left onto Boswell Rd/Four Notch Rd - 0.7 mi

Turn right onto Forest Service Rd 200 - 4.3 mi

Turn right onto Forest Service Rd 207 - 1.9 mi

Turn left onto Forest Service Rd 202 - 2.1 mi

Campground will be on the left

https://goo.gl/maps/etniws4xbuq

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Trail will be tough, expect 4-6 miles of shiggy with manned beer checks/bail points.

Bring your own everything campout!

The campground is totally primitive, no water, no toilets, just a place for your tent.

You need to bring :

Trashbag

camping gear

Latrine shovel

food AND water

booze for after circle beer runs out!

Firewood!

Do not bring:

Large Bowie knives for sticking "scary" black dogs.

Drama

Remember, this is a public campground, we may not have it entirely to ourselves, behave accordingly!

IT'S A CAMPOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 210: Womb Raider & Dresses With Wolves' 21st Analversary Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 210: Womb Raider & Dresses With Wolves' 21^st Analversary Trail!

When: Saturday, February 10th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Burroughs Park

9738 Hufsmith Road

Tomball, TX

Hares: Womb Raider & Dresses With Wolves

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 or Hardy Toll Rd North to TX-99 West to Küykendahl Road. Turn right/ north onto Küykendahl Road, and go for about 4 miles. Turn left onto Hufsmith Road and you'll run into the park. **Park in the FAR NORTHWEST SIDE of the park near the pavilion.**

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Cum celebrate our legal drinking age analversary! Whoo-hoo! Another year without murdering each other! Trail will be 3-4 miles and a mix of runnable trails, shiggy and a touch of pavement. Water crossings are a possibility. There will be one beer check. Much like our early years together drinking Big Jug 40s for $1.25, beer check will include cheap malt liquor of the Dresses with Wolves variety. Don’t worry there will be good craft beer too. I’m also baking homemade cookies for circle.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork