BMH3# CHRISTMAS PARTY 2024!!! FRIDAY 12/13/2024!!!

 

2025 Hare Signups are posted! Get yours now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

BMH3# CHRISTMAS PARTY 2024!!!

When:

Friday, December 13th at 7:00pm!!!

Where:

Maison du PoonChug
86 Sunlit Grove
The Woodlands, TX  77382

30.212852646305969, -95.52401180201169

https://maps.app.goo.gl/wiQe2XXdhdRg2QgC9

From The Hosts:

What's this? What's this?
There's hashers everywhere
What's this?
They're wearing slutty underwear
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes, I must be dreaming
Wake up, Spork, this isn't fair
What's this?

What's this? What's this?
There's something very wrong
What's this?
They're singing hashing songs
What's this?
The floors are lined with little passed out creatures
Everybody seems so wasted
Oh no, now they're getting naked?
What's this?!

I'll tell you what it is!  It's the Brass Monkey's Second AИAL Holiday Party!  That's right, since we had very little brain trauma and no pressed charges after last year, we've decided to try this shit again!  Since every fucking Saturday in December is taken already, we're doing it on a Friday!  And not just any Friday, FRIDAY THE 13TH!  So the thème will be "Nightmare Before Hashmas!"  So finish off your weekly chores, grab your best slut and dry mouth combatant, and HEAD on over!

There will be a white elephant gift exchange (~$15), and a TALLBOY ROULETTE!  What does that mean?  It means bring a $15 white elephant gift you can part with (it can be funny, slutty, naughty, stupid, really any word you could describe a Brass Monkey with) and exchange for another gift, and one tallboy of your choosing!  We will bring brown paper bags (because we're classy like that), hide the tallboys within said brown paper bags, and people will get one that they randomly select that they'll get to enjoy. (Heartburn meds not included)

What else do you need to bring?  Your own damn booze.  We've seen you people drink.  We know what you are capable of.  Will there be a random can of Lone Star somewhere you can probably drink?  Maybe... but I sure wouldn't count on it.  However, there will be food to eat!  If you want to bring a little side to share, feel free.  However, the homeowners said they will be making some nice warm food for us, so prepare your stomachs! (And probably your anus)

What can you count on?  Probably getting slutty in the hot tub time machine once the festivities are done.  BUTT, before you get into your Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, wear yourself a tacky holiday sweater or Nightmare Before Hashmas outfit!  Xmas?  Sure!  Chanukkah?  Why not!  Caroling dogs?  Sounds great!  Ketchup's Butthole blown up on a sweater?  Please no.

So, in conclusion, BRING:

•$15 white elephant gift
•A tallboy drink of your choosing
•Your swimsuit
•Your beverage of choice

You won't want to miss it!

0n-0n Bitches!
Cocktor Spork

 

 BMH3 #386 -11/09/2024- Save a Horses Marine Corps Pre-Lube Trail!

When:

Saturday, November Ninth, TwothousandandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beir Check!

Where:

The timber lane utility district community center
1902 Naplechase Dr
Spring, TX 77373
30.044265741951669, -95.40343757533269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/FWQoViyaGX72c8qz5
(Yes this is the same start location as 2 weeks ago)

Hare: 

Save a Horse, Ride a Mole

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail is 3 miles, 1 bier check. There will be water crossings, expect to get wet and bring a change of dry clothes. Hares can't promise a covered ending, but the RA can get their shit together and clear the weather before circle...

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.


Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.  Hur Hur the start location sounds like its on Nipplechase drive. (o)(o)


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #385 - 10/26/2024: Homoglobin's Birthday trail

 

BMH3 #385 - 10/26/2024: Homoglobin's Birthday trail

When:

Saturday, October TwentySex, TwothousandandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

The timber lane utility district community center
1902 Naplechase Dr
Spring, TX 77373
30.044265741951669, -95.40343757533269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/FWQoViyaGX72c8qz5


Hares:
Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
About 3.5 mile trail.
Everything friendly like dogs and such.
One beer check as customary.
On after will be at Kerchup and Road head’s place which is 15 minutes ish away.
Start time is 2pm now I believe?

FROM THE ON AFTER HOSTS!!!!
Halloween is just around the corner so it's time to dress up. KatchUp and Road Head are hosting a Halloween party at their house for On-After. It will be potluck style and BYOB. Looking forward to seeing everyone

Bring:

WATER, IT IS still HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Pot Luck item, a costume, and Drinks for on after!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.  Hur Hur the start location sounds like its on Nipplechase drive. (o)(o)


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024 Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

 

***We have one more trail left available in 2024!!!!! as soon as it is taken, I'll open up 2025! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024    Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

When:

Saturday, October 12th Twenty TwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

George Mitchell Nature Preserve
5171 Flintridge Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77381
https://maps.app.goo.gl/WYXAx4wMJfj49vd59
30.162925972371069, -95.51777841208369

Hares:
IVANNA HAIRY BUTTCHUG!!!!

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Every other week you halfminds do your best to kill my old ass off…either by a rough trail or by a rough on after. Anyway, I have survived yet another year of hashing and it’s your turn to pay! I’ll be laying a wonderful, celebration trail in honor of my birthday.  Expect shiggy, water crossings, and shenanigans. On after will be a pool ending with a taco bar! Bring your own booze and your own towel! I’m sick of losing towels to ya’ll fools!


Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT!
On after booze and towel and swimsuit!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

When:

Saturday, September TwentyFourth, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Spring Creek Nature trail
Dead End of Glen Loch Dr
https://maps.app.goo.gl/e1JyMeXagWSCCr3JA
30.113658605646269, -95.48915437527969

Hares:

Womb Raider and the Flock

Sidenote:

Note the early start!!!

FROM THE HARES:
The Birds are flying again! Join the Flock for 3 loops (6ish miles total) of shiggy, thorns and water crossing. There will be rubber duckies. There will be “bird” food and drinks. There will be a Nest full of beautiful birds and maybe a Chicken. There will be Flabongos. There is the possibility of an aquatic bird friendly on after. Bring your waterfowl suits just in case. Don’t forget to don your prettiest bird apparel!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!

A Swimsuit, towel, and drinks for the on after!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #382 - 09/14/2024: Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's BIRFDAY Trail!

 

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

BMH3 #382 - 09/14/2024: Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's BIRFDAY Trail!

When:

Saturday, September Fourteenth TwoThousandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Lakeside Park
5001 South Alden Bridge Drive, The Woodlands, TX 77382
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1zq2BiRhHCAVDsKb6
30.203710308105669, -95.54207881501769

Hares:

Cocktor Spork
Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
It's that time of year again, peeps. Cocktor Spork and Indiana Bones need to throw their anal birfday hash so we can have another hurricane hit Houston. Not sure the last time we had a birfday trail that didn't have a hurricane, a tropical depression, or a solid pounding. Not the fun kind, like the kind with rain. In any case, have we got a trail for you!

Between 3-5 miles with at least one beer check. Lots of shiggy, lots of water, and some damn b00b and dick checks. It's too far out to see what the weather will be, but my guess is somewhere in the 80°s and rain. So bring a damn change of clothes. Drink water, 'cause you're gonna get into the thick of it, and you need your powerful thighs to have the energy to push through.

For the THIRD hashhh in a row, 0n-After will have a pool - so bring your damn bathing suit! So not only will this be the trail of the year, but there will be an 0n-After with another chance to make hash babies later into the evening! As it turns out, chlorine is not a great seamen-stopper. #Science

We hope to see you out there - you won't wanna miss it!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Swimsuit,towel, and drinks for pool on after.
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #381 - 08/31/2024: Just Lulus(the human) Virgin Lay and Outside Cat with a pool party and fajitas on after!!!!

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #381 - 08/31/2024: Just Lulus(the human) Virgin Lay and Outside Cat

When:

Saturday, August ThirtyFirst TWentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Champion Forest Park
9650 Cypresswood Dr, Houston, TX 77070
29.9912634597069, -95.55229335755269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/xQ1MnUbsTQNX2aFG6

Hares:

Just Lulu(the human)
Outside Cat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Do you like getting hot?
Do you like getting wet?
Do you like wishing death on the people that made you hot and wet?
If so, have we got a trail for you!  
Cum one, cum all, for Just Lulu the Human's VIRGIN Hare!  
Since we don't hate her, and want her to live and stick around, we decided KatchUp should not be the one to teach her how to hare.  No, we thought it was time for her to have a slap of reality and get a full day of a hungover Outside Cat.  We're guessing.  Cum see the result when Outside Cat spends the day directing the small, drunk kitten that is Just Lulu the Human.  Will she try to treat Lulu the Human like Lulu the Dog?  Bark bark, bitch.  What else are we guessing?  

Trail will be about 3-4 miles... we think.  
There will be shade and water to get wet... possibly.  
And last but not least, there will be a POOL ENDING WITH FAJITAS!!  Allegedly.  If that were to transpire, it would be a BYOB type of on-after.  Not like, "Ohh, can I have some circle beer for on-after?"  Le no.  There will be gas stations along the way, or you can bring a lil'ol cooler with your favorite beverages in it.  Of note, Just Lulu the Human does not yet have a hash name.  She needs a hash name.  If you have stories, bring them.  If you don't, start making them up.  We've gotten through the climax of heat, and now we're dropping faster than Lulu's patience level with KatchUp when he's trying to mansplain things to her.  So cum on out, you won't wanna miss it!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS STILL HOT!

Swimsuit, plate, utensils and beverage of choice for on after!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #380 – 8/17/2024: Ivanna Hairy Buttchug and Indiana Bones and the temple of poon

 

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #380 – 8/17/2024: Ivanna Hairy Buttchug and Indiana Bones and the temple of poon

When:

Saturday, August Seventeenth, Twentytwentyfour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Parking-Lake at Springwoods Village Nature Preserve
https://maps.app.goo.gl/HectJLjAZUPvhnka9
30.1026966455169, -95.45671382024069
If you find yourself at the cul-de-ballsac on Morning Dove Bend, you went the wrong way, Go back to Holzworth, head north, and keep going down the dirt road.

Hares:

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug
Indiana Bones and the temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Are you ready for a day of water play, slip n slides and water slides?  We have none of that. But we will have a refreshing day in the creek. We will take you through some great shiggy and pour you into the water for some river fun.  Bring a float!  Trail will take you down the creek so find something you can float on, you know, rubber raft, a log, an old couch cushion, anything that will keep you above water.  Trail will be 3-4 miles with at least 1 beer check. Bring sun tan lotion and bug spray.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #379 – 8/3/2024: CSI

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 BMH3 #379 – 8/3/2024: CSI

When:

Saturday, August Third TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check probably

Where:

Carter Park
7221 Treaschwig Rd, Spring, TX 77373
30.052770273871069, -95.32661080332569
https://maps.app.goo.gl/MChN2SZHrcFJ324X8

Hares:

CSI

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
2-3 mile heavy shiggy, muddy, fallen tree trail.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #378 – 7/20/2024: Slumbag!

 

 

***We Need hares on Aug 31, and Nov/Dec!!! Sign up here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

BMH3 #378 – 7/20/2024: Slumbag!

When:

Saturday, July TWentieth TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check or TWO

Where:

That parking lot at the dead end of old riley fuzzel rd
1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386(not exact address, you want to be on the south side of 99, in the usual parking lot.  Just use the GPS coordinates)
30.093409547239269, -95.40565000189469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/c6ygnR64Lg3FZ4kT7

Hares:

Slumbag

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
3-5 miles, 1 or 2 beer checks. Distance and Beer X depending on temps on Saturday.    Plenty of shiggy.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #377 – 07/06/2024: Outside Cats Birthday!

 

 

***We Need a HARE for the VERY NEXT TRAIL! Sign up here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

BMH3 #377 – 07/06/2024: Outside Cats Birthday!

When:

Saturday, July Sixth, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned craft Beer Checks

Where:

Grogans Point Park
100 Grogans Point Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77380
https://maps.app.goo.gl/mhUCmcEHiecQrLUy8
30.11618490023069, -95.47919989075869


Hares:
Outside Cat

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Come one come all to Celebrate Outside Cat's Birthday.  Trail will be between 3-5 miles with TWO craft beer checks.

Outside Cat will be making Taco's and snacks for the On-In

Bring water for on trail, bug spray and a change of clothes. It's going to be hot, best to leave the dogs at home.

Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT! - seriously we don't need anyone dieing on trail!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #376 – 06/22/2024 Peg the Pirate Raiders

  

***Haring opportunities for summer trails are filling up! SIGN UP NOW! https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #376 – 06/22/2024    Peg the Pirate Raiders

When:

Saturday, June TwentySecond
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Parking-Lake at Springwoods Village Nature Preserve

Trailhead by Exxon. !!! NOT the neighborhood next to it. Turn on Holzwarth Rd and keep going straight. Follow the park road past the gate and there will be a big parking area on the right. !!!

30.102958006719216, -95.45589909425924

Hares:

Peg Leg Hooker and Womb Raider 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
In honor of our names Peg Leg Hooker and Womb Raider trail will be Pirate themed. All this really means is a rum shot check and you can say Arrrr to your hearts content. But if you dress like a pirate we won’t be mad. Trail will be between 3-4 miles with plenty of shiggy and thorns. Expect water crossings unless creek is high and looks like it could send the pack to Davy Jones’s locker. Have no fear there is plenty of good shiggy even if we have to stay on one side of the creek. Arrrr Arrrr!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #375 – 06/08/2024 Psychedelic Cougar Trail and Pool Party!

 

***Haring opportunities for summer trails are filling up! SIGN UP NOW! https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #375 – 06/08/2024    Psychedelic Cougar Trail and Pool Party!

When:

Saturday, June Eigth TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

403 Westbrook St. Pinehurst tx. 77362
https://maps.app.goo.gl/aA7hGLDpTNYD8FJM8
30.12121683773669, -95.6527930553569

Hares:

Cougarand and Psycho

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
"Psychedelic Cougar Trail"
A to A.
4ish miles.
River crossing.
Pool ending
Food at end
Keg of Yellow Rose

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

A Trail to Remember

 

***Haring opportunities for summer trails are filling up! SIGN UP NOW! https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 BMH3 #374 – 5/25/2024: A Trail to Remember

When:

Saturday, May Twenty-Fifth, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Alden Bridge, The Woodlands, TX 77354
https://maps.app.goo.gl/CwcMA8WisNX9kCCDA?g_st=ic
30.210388, -95.565674

Hares:

Ivanna and Indiana

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Join us for a trail to remember...and an on after you might forget! We promise trail will be laid before you start! There might be shot check challenges, there might be a celebration with cake and balloons. We promise it will be a fun day!  Trail will be between 0.69 and 6.9 miles.  Trail will be wet and dry.  Trail will be sunny and shady.  Beer check will have beer and maybe a few other beverages.  On after will have a pool and food.  Time to celebrate the beginning of summer before it is too hot.

From Twinkle:  Starting to get warm out there, make sure you hydrate before trail, and bring water to drink on/after trail!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #373 – 5/11/2024: CockULator

***Haring opportunities for summer trails are filling up! SIGN UP NOW! https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 BMH3 #373 – 5/11/2024: CockULator

When:

Saturday, May Eleventh, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Cypress Creek Park at Timberlane
2114 Naplechase Crest Dr, Spring, TX 77373
https://maps.app.goo.gl/HRgjQbh7KucRUemV6
30.044595906356869, -95.40365055944569

Hares:

CockULator

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
I think it looks pretty fun. I'm going to try to bring it in around 4 miles since it's not supposed to be too hot.
At least one beer check. We can only hope cypress creek will be low enough for a water crossing, but I will do my best to get everyone wet.

From Twinkle:  Starting to get warm out there, make sure you hydrate before trail, and bring water to drink on/after trail!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #372 – 04/27/2024 Save a Horses barfday trail!

 

 

 

 

****We NEED HARES FOR THE NEXT FEW TRAILS!!!  

SIGN UP NOW! 

https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 

BMH3 #372 – 04/27/2024    Save a Horses barfday trail!

When:

Saturday, April 27th TwentyTWentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• At least 1 bier check!

Where:

H4 campout!
801 Oakridge Cir, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.58409077278769, -95.15002116282569
https://maps.app.goo.gl/8e3Hzq5w1KMAJWZT8

Hares:

Save a Horse (Ride a Mole)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Save a Horse (Ride a Mole) Barfday Trail -
Due to H4's pour comprehension of how to navigate shiggy, their humble misman has asked kindly (and how!) for the illustrious Save a Horse to save their asses.
Now, being the noble hare as always, Save a Horse has graciously decided to grant their request. And to even do so on their exact birthday!! What a gentleman, indeed.
Expect the usual from a Mole trail. To ensure more time for bier, trail will be no more than 3 miles. There will certainly be water crossings, at least 1 bier check, and you bet your sweet virgin ass there will be shiggy, the gods damn it!
Start is at 801 Oakridge Cir, Coldspring, TX 77331
It's just a little journey through pine country to get there, so plan your departure from a safe, dry, and thornless home accordingly.


From MISMAN: If you're super lame, and not attending the H4 campout, THATS OK!  They have graciously agreed to have a trail/circle only option for $5! So COME! Pay your $5, do trail, circle, and then hit the road!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #371 – 4/13/2024: Ivamna Hairy Butt Chug and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

 

 

****Lots of summer trails available!!  SIGN UP NOW! MAKE US WET!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 

BMH3 #371 – 4/13/2024: Ivanna Hairy Butt Chug and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

When:

Saturday, April 13th TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

WG Jones State Forest Trail Head

FM 1488, Conroe, TX 77384

30.234439755362769, -95.48216636441869

https://maps.app.goo.gl/EUXT8E2smgamgTsFA

Hares:

Ivanna Hairy Butt Chug

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

After a wonderful TXIH weekend it’s time to get back to regular life. So its Monkey time! It’s also tax time. Your hares for this weekend trail, Indiana Bones and Ivana, will punish you like the IRS. Are tax forms frustrating? Yep, so is this trail. Are tax laws confusing? Yep, so is this trail. You will cry like an auditors bitch, you will bleed like your bank account at tax time. Expect 1-1040 ish miles, several beer checks, some new trail marks and a possible pool ending.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING REALLY NICE OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=KatchUp=-

BMH3 #370 – 3/30/2024: Penis Fly Crap and Just Scott

 

****Lots of summer trails available!!  SIGN UP NOW! MAKE US WET!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 

 BMH3 #370 – 3/30/2024: Penis Fly Crap and Just Scott

When:

Saturday, March 30th TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

6307 Green Forest Ln, Spring, TX 77386
30.069789682880369, -95.3183812207469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/W7qLHnvPBxare6jo7

Hares:

Penis Fly Crap
Just Scott

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Cum on out for a lovely spring hash and Just Scott's virgin hare.  No gimmicks, just shiggy.  Bring $5 and virgins

Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING REALLY NICE OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

The Green Dress Run and an Analversary for 69!!!

 

 

 

****Lots of hare dates open!!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #369 – 3/16/2024: The Green Dress Run and an Analversary for 69!!!

When:

Saturday, March Sixteenth TwentyTwentyfour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

That parking lot at the dead end of old riley fuzzel rd

1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386

30.09337215624741, -95.40564508348992

Hares:

Cocktor Spork - KatchUp - Twinkle Toes? 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

It's finally time for all of us to go nose-diving together into that glorious cusp of the V that is our legs. This amazing trail is hared by three hares with plenty of great shiggy trails under their belt, so expect some damn good shiggy. We are looking at a nice and easy 4-6 mile trail with the potential for two beer checks. The weather leading up to and on the day of is looking a bit wet; if that is the case, we could be looking at an adventure float down Spring Creek. Make sure to bring some kind of flotation device in the event we get to float. We will have a dog-friendly trail, but unfortunately, no floating for your furry friends unless you want them to

Song from the Hares:

(Melody - 369 Cupid ft. B.O.B)

Three, six, nine the Monkey drank wine

The monkey smoked the dope on the street car line 

And the line broke and the monkey got chocked

And they all went to heaven in a lil' inflatable float ((clap, clap))

Ladies and gentlemen I'm about to make you feel alright

I've got the beat to move your feet plus I know just what you like,

Rough shiggy ahead, in your sight

Let's make another monkey and drink all night

Bring:

WATER, IT IS starting to warmup!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Dont go in the neighborhood, from holzworth, drive down the dirt road until you see the parking lot.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #368 – 3/2/2024: Womb Raiders birthday!

 

 

****Lots of hare dates open!!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #368 – 3/2/2024: Womb Raiders birthday!

When:

Saturday, March Second TwentyTwentyfour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Parking-Lake at Springwoods Village Nature Preserve
Trailhead by Exxon
24000 Holzwarth Rd, Spring, TX 77389
https://maps.app.goo.gl/nBxp2KwcN1FAvQ1D7
30.1029838112169, -95.45661527414569

Hares:

Womb Raider

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Trail will be between 3-4 miles with plenty of shiggy and thorns. It is finally warm enough to get y’all wet so expect water crossings. There will be one manned beer check with tasty selections of beverages and one unmanned shot check (no guarantees shots will be tasty as Dresses with Wolves picked it out based solely on the coolness of the label). For circle I will be baking something (or let’s be honest more likely buying something) Birthday Cake like. Looking forward to punishing y’all with a great/shitty trail in honor of another year of survival and drinking for it!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS starting to warmup!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Dont go in the neighborhood, from holzworth, drive down the dirt road until you see the parking lot.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #367 – 2/17/2024: TWINKLE TOES 40th birthday!! and Brass Monkey 14th anniversary CAMPOUT!

 

****We need Hares in March and April!!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #367 – 2/17/2024: TWINKLE TOES 40th birthday!! and Brass Monkey 14th anniversary CAMPOUT!

When:

Saturday, February Seventeenth, TwoThousandandTwentyFour

•Camping: Anytime you want, I suggest early enough to setup camp before trail

• Trail: Main Pack NOON show, NOON:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

TRAIL:
Double Lake Hunter camp on NFSR 220
Forest Service Rd 220, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sL1SAkKX35KajKNB7

Camping:Go read the Notes from the Hares!

Hare:

TWINKLE TOES!!!!!!!

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
TRAIL:  Trail will gather at NOON, Pack off at NOON:30! Trail will be 4 to 6 miles of glorious Sam Houston National Forest shiggy.  I mean this area is just some of the best shiggy I have had the pleasure to scout and lay in a looooong time.  Expect serious shiggy, if necessary, you will be able to bail at the beer checks.  I highly recommend Shiggy Socks/pants, long sleeves,and bug spray, I found a tick on me afterwards.

CAMPING: For the on after, we will be CAMPING!!!!! After circle beer runs out and hash snacks are gone, you're on your own! Bring Your Own EVERYTHING! You'll need to take care of yourself until you can pack up and leave sunday morning.
I highly recommend arriving a bit before trail and setting up your camp before trail. You can come as early as you want, even Friday!
These campsites are primitive, as in bring a poop shovel primitive!

With the weather being a little soggy in the days beforehand, we have two options for campsite:
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369    The Start location campsite, it's nicer, but tends to become a bit muddy, so if it's too muddy, or crowded, we'll go to option B

Option B will just be a little farther down NFSR 220: 30.539560125179769, -95.1290570960769  It's closer to the road, but less pooling water, If we camp here we'll do CarFronts to the start of trail.

I'll post and park my Jeep at whichever site I think we should use, but really whoever sets up tents first gets it.

Bring:

WATER, you're camping and running, you'll get thirsty!
FOOD you have to feed yourself dinner, and maybe breakfast depending how fast you leave Sunday.
BOOZE, circle beer won't last all night
FIREWOOD
SHELTER
POOPSHOVEL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail and camping on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #366 – 02/03/2024: 4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

 

****The rest of 2024 Trail signups are now available!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

BMH3 #366 – 02/03/2024: 4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

When:

Saturday, February Third, TwoThousand and Twenty Four
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

South end Cul De Sac of Mesa Dr, Humble, TX 77396
https://maps.app.goo.gl/cWm7bPNwvEEAy8WH8
29.92454993098769, -95.28004306775469

Hares:

4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail will by A-to-A prime!!! Length 3.69 miles
Info: A mix of shiggy and NE Houston splendor! Lots of rough terrain, one section with scrambling up/down a hill, a BVC water crossing over a plank bridge, multiple instances of trespassing (j/k.. unless?), yeah folks we got it all! Should be dog friendly, but walkers need to be ready for difficult terrain, walking over broken glass/boards-with-nails, etc. Because of recent rain, there will likely be plenty of standing water and sogginess on trail. Plan accordingly!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

Turns out Nutz likes you and gave me directions to pass along!
Going eastbound on BW8 North loop, take Mesa Dr exit (first exist after 59, last free exit), turn right onto Mesa Dr and drive into the Fall Creek subdivision. Go past two pools and over a bridge and you’ll reach southern termination point of Mesa Dr. Look for hashers.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #365 - 01/20/2024:CSI

 

 

****The rest of 2024 Trail signups are now available!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 BMH3 #365 - 01/20/2024:CSI

When:

Saturday, January twenty, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Carter Park
7221 Treaschwig Rd, Spring, TX 77373
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1evAy2HaFvPcBd7T6
30.05272974509469, -95.32650621483969

Hares:

Cant Stop Inhaling (CSI)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
No water crossings and length will be temperature dependent.

Bring:

WARM CLOTHES, IT's cold!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-