BMH3 #394 – 3/1/2025: Womb Raider and Indiana Bones!

 

Trails available in May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

 BMH3 #394 – 3/1/2025: Womb Raider and Indiana Bones!

When:

Saturday, March First TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

That parking lot at the dead end of Old Riley Fuzzel Rd.
30.09344365472669, -95.40542051117569
https://maps.app.goo.gl/bcthLy6QYQfL3esV7

Hares:

Womb Raider
Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Months ago, I had fantasies of exotic virgin trails for my Birthday. As the time closed in, I realized that I was inherently lazy and would rather drink and nap than scout. Expect a pleasant jaunt through familiar territory punctuated with possible water crossings and at least one manned beer check with good beer and hard seltzers. Probably no shot checks because I’m old “now” and that shit gets dangerous. But hares lie and Indiana is my co-hare so who knows. Trail will be at least 3 but less than 5 miles.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS Not cold anymore!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!

When:

Saturday, February Fifteenth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 1PM show, 1:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

TRAIL and camping:
Double Lake Hunter camp on NFSR 220
Forest Service Rd 220, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sL1SAkKX35KajKNB7

Hares:

Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Pack will DEPART AT 1:30!!! Don't be late!
Trail will be 4-6+ miles of glorious National Forest SHIGGY!  Expect regular shiggy, muddy shiggy, thorny shiggy!

CAMPING: For the on after, we will be CAMPING!!!!! After circle beer runs out and hash snacks are gone, you're on your own! Bring Your Own EVERYTHING! You'll need to take care of yourself until you can pack up and leave sunday morning! That means bring FOOD, WATER, BEER, and your POOP SHOVEL!
I highly recommend arriving a bit before trail and setting up your camp before trail. You can come as early as you want, even Friday!
These campsites are primitive, as in bring a poop shovel primitive!
It's looking like its going to get chilly Saturday night, so stop on the way to grab some firewood! either a couple bundles from the hardware store, or random places on the way to camp.

Bring:

WATER, you're camping and running, you'll get thirsty!
FOOD you have to feed yourself dinner, and maybe breakfast depending how fast you leave Sunday.
BOOZE, circle beer won't last all night
FIREWOOD
SHELTER
POOPSHOVEL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
Twinkle Toes Signal ID: JamesS.42
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #392 - 02/01/2025 - Homoglobins Third time's a charm? trail

 

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 BMH3 #392 - 02/01/2025 - Homoglobins Third time's a charm? trail

When:

Saturday, February First, Twenty Twentyfive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• One Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Burroughs Park Pavilion
9738 Hufsmith Rd, Tomball, TX 77375 - and drive all the way to the pavilion in the back
30.13811394581269, -95.57557074460769
https://maps.app.goo.gl/XceBYR8nstCSf3yx9

Hares:

Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
3.5 miles
Park in the furthest north spot by the pavilion(usual spot)
Weather should be fantastic!
Nothing more and never less!
One beer check.

Bring:

WATER, IT might not be cold
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

Brass Monkey #391 01/18/25 Penis Fly Crap's 18th Hashiversary

 

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #391 01/18/25: Penis Fly Crap's 18th Hashiversary

When:

Saturday, January Eighteenth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Actual START: 20504 Fourier Drive, New Caney, TX 77357
Plug address into APPLE MAPS, google doesn't have this address yet!
30.157686035228569, -95.29230170368169
Enter Porter's Mill Subdivision on Miller Heights Drive, and find your way to the pin.

For navigation purposes, go here, and keep driving south on Miller Heights Dr. looking for hashers.
30.163552213737503, -95.29207316795329
https://maps.app.goo.gl/JRLEW2fcSBip49pm8

Hares:
Penis Fly Crap

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Cum on out and celebrate 18 years of hashing with Penis Fly Crap.  You'll get a 3-5 mile trail,shiggy, a beer check, and waist high water crossings.  

Bring:
probably a change of warm clothes!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Get on 69 N
Take exit 159A toward FM 1485/New Caney
Take a Left onto 1485 N for 2.2 miles
Take a Left onto Gene Campbell Rd for 3.1 miles
Run Left onto Miller Heights Dr. for .6 miles
When you reach the fresh construction, look for hashers



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #390 – 01/04/2025: KatchUps Birthday Extravaganza

  

 

We need hare for 1/18/25! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

 

 

 

BMH3 #390 – 01/04/2025: KatchUps' start the year off wet trail

When:

Saturday, January Fourth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

819 Timor Ln, Houston, TX 77090

https://maps.app.goo.gl/oKMGwxzVVyvEtK3k8
30.031972249684944, -95.45239987801945

Hares:

Ask Me Something Personal & KatchUp

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 

I would like to welcome everyone into the New Year with another amazing Birthday Trail. This years trail will have water, those backward facing thorns and a random ass dog sleeping in a decrepit, school? Yes that's right, I got all the things planned for this trail. It will be 3-5 miles in length with one water crossing so bring warm clothes for circle. I will be providing hot cider again this year so the water crossing should feel nice. I would say it's dog friendly but we do get close to some properties that aren't well fenced off and they do have dogs on property so be forewarned.

Bring:

HOT COCOA, IT IS COLD!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Titty McGee=-

BMH3 #389 – 12/21/2024: Donnie The Retards' Birfday Trail

 

 

We need hare for 1/18/25! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

 

 

 

BMH3 #389 – 12/21/2024: Donnie The Retards' Birfday Trail

When:

Saturday, December Twentyfirst, TWentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 1PM show, 1:30PM Go

Where:

Woodson's Local Tap + Kitchen (1488)
2330 FM 1488, The Woodlands, TX 77384
https://maps.app.goo.gl/Qrx4vwxLk2o7mz68A
30.231692855200069, -95.49920617809069

Hares:

Donnie the Retard

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 

2 to 4ish miles of trails and shiggy. Water on trail is always possible so be unprepared as you normal would. No rain in the forecast, but we all know weather apps are fucking liars so who knows. Let's do this!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #388 – Womb Raider and Cocktor Spork's 2nd Anal nighttime lights trail?

  

 

 

2025 Hare Signups for the first half of the year are posted! Get yours now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #388 – Womb Raider and Cocktor Spork's 2nd Anal nighttime lights trail?

When:

Saturday, December Seventh TwoThousandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 1PM show, 1:30PM Go

Where:

Fox Springs Park, Spring, TX 77386
https://maps.app.goo.gl/2spBr6xuN77GQVc27

30.115476260769269, -95.40187903187869

Hares:

Cocktor Spork & Womb Raider

From the Hares:

This Saturday, Saturday, SATURDAY!  Join Womb Raider and Cocktor Spork for our second Anal nighttime lights trail! Except this year, it won't be at night, and there won't be lights. So yeah. That. 

Originally, we had planned a nighttime trail to cap off the last trail of the year, but that asshole Donnie the Retard snagged it for his birfday trail instead. So, with all the holiday chaos in full swing and people being booked every Saturday, we’ve decided to turn things up a notch with a 1:00pm trail instead so you can still be an early-afternoon asshole and get to your evening festivities!

Will it be live-laid? Maybe.

Will it be dead-laid? Maybe. 

Will it be laid at all? Also, maybe. 

You’ll just have to show up to find out! AT 1:00PM! Expect solid shiggy, a strong chance of rain (because, hares), potential water crossings depending on how the creeks look after the next few days of rain, at least one beer check, and the company of many fine assholes.

You won't wanna miss it! Be there or regret it forever!... or maybe not at all. But either way, be there at 1:00pm!!!!

0n-0n Bitches

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,

BMH3 #387 -11/23/24 – Fuck Fuck Goose takes a baby monkey under his wing

 

 

 

2025 Hare Signups for the first half of the year are posted! Get yours now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #387 – Fuck Fuck Goose takes a baby monkey under his wing

When:

Saturday, November TwentyThird TwoThousandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Little Cypress Creek Preserve
Telge Rd & Spring Cypress Rd, Cypress, TX 77429
29.9906569,-95.6562469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/L4N5fU8Gx3G8bv3Y7

Hares:

ShoulderPads the Virgin Hare & F*ck F*ck Goose.

Sidenote:

Get ready for an epic adventure that promises equal parts chaos and camaraderie. Or just pure chaos. This trail has it all: a Virgin Hare ready to test their mettle, uncharted territory that F*ck F*ck Goose has only scoped out on Google Maps, at least one beer check (maybe two if the stars and hares align), and the ever-present risk of getting lost. Expect questionable decisions and constant cursing of the hares.  ON-ON!
📏 Distance:
Trail is allegedly planned for 4 miles, but knowing the hares, you might be signing up for 14 miles of scenic suffering. Pack your sense of humor, an extra pair of socks, a headlamp, and a snack just in case.
🌿 Shiggy Factor:
Expect at least 20 feet of shiggy—but be prepared for 20 miles. The hares have no idea what they are getting themselves into.
💦 Wetness Factor:
If you make it through trail completely dry, then congratulations. For everyone else, the On-After has you covered with a heated pool to ensure you do not leave the day without a good soak.

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Swimsuit, Towel, and Drinks for HEATED POOL on after!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3# CHRISTMAS PARTY 2024!!! FRIDAY 12/13/2024!!!

 

2025 Hare Signups are posted! Get yours now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

BMH3# CHRISTMAS PARTY 2024!!!

When:

Friday, December 13th at 7:00pm!!!

Where:

Maison du PoonChug
86 Sunlit Grove
The Woodlands, TX  77382

30.212852646305969, -95.52401180201169

https://maps.app.goo.gl/wiQe2XXdhdRg2QgC9

From The Hosts:

What's this? What's this?
There's hashers everywhere
What's this?
They're wearing slutty underwear
What's this?
I can't believe my eyes, I must be dreaming
Wake up, Spork, this isn't fair
What's this?

What's this? What's this?
There's something very wrong
What's this?
They're singing hashing songs
What's this?
The floors are lined with little passed out creatures
Everybody seems so wasted
Oh no, now they're getting naked?
What's this?!

I'll tell you what it is!  It's the Brass Monkey's Second AИAL Holiday Party!  That's right, since we had very little brain trauma and no pressed charges after last year, we've decided to try this shit again!  Since every fucking Saturday in December is taken already, we're doing it on a Friday!  And not just any Friday, FRIDAY THE 13TH!  So the thème will be "Nightmare Before Hashmas!"  So finish off your weekly chores, grab your best slut and dry mouth combatant, and HEAD on over!

There will be a white elephant gift exchange (~$15), and a TALLBOY ROULETTE!  What does that mean?  It means bring a $15 white elephant gift you can part with (it can be funny, slutty, naughty, stupid, really any word you could describe a Brass Monkey with) and exchange for another gift, and one tallboy of your choosing!  We will bring brown paper bags (because we're classy like that), hide the tallboys within said brown paper bags, and people will get one that they randomly select that they'll get to enjoy. (Heartburn meds not included)

What else do you need to bring?  Your own damn booze.  We've seen you people drink.  We know what you are capable of.  Will there be a random can of Lone Star somewhere you can probably drink?  Maybe... but I sure wouldn't count on it.  However, there will be food to eat!  If you want to bring a little side to share, feel free.  However, the homeowners said they will be making some nice warm food for us, so prepare your stomachs! (And probably your anus)

What can you count on?  Probably getting slutty in the hot tub time machine once the festivities are done.  BUTT, before you get into your Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, wear yourself a tacky holiday sweater or Nightmare Before Hashmas outfit!  Xmas?  Sure!  Chanukkah?  Why not!  Caroling dogs?  Sounds great!  Ketchup's Butthole blown up on a sweater?  Please no.

So, in conclusion, BRING:

•$15 white elephant gift
•A tallboy drink of your choosing
•Your swimsuit
•Your beverage of choice

You won't want to miss it!

0n-0n Bitches!
Cocktor Spork

 

 BMH3 #386 -11/09/2024- Save a Horses Marine Corps Pre-Lube Trail!

When:

Saturday, November Ninth, TwothousandandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beir Check!

Where:

The timber lane utility district community center
1902 Naplechase Dr
Spring, TX 77373
30.044265741951669, -95.40343757533269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/FWQoViyaGX72c8qz5
(Yes this is the same start location as 2 weeks ago)

Hare: 

Save a Horse, Ride a Mole

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail is 3 miles, 1 bier check. There will be water crossings, expect to get wet and bring a change of dry clothes. Hares can't promise a covered ending, but the RA can get their shit together and clear the weather before circle...

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.


Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.  Hur Hur the start location sounds like its on Nipplechase drive. (o)(o)


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #385 - 10/26/2024: Homoglobin's Birthday trail

 

BMH3 #385 - 10/26/2024: Homoglobin's Birthday trail

When:

Saturday, October TwentySex, TwothousandandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

The timber lane utility district community center
1902 Naplechase Dr
Spring, TX 77373
30.044265741951669, -95.40343757533269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/FWQoViyaGX72c8qz5


Hares:
Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
About 3.5 mile trail.
Everything friendly like dogs and such.
One beer check as customary.
On after will be at Kerchup and Road head’s place which is 15 minutes ish away.
Start time is 2pm now I believe?

FROM THE ON AFTER HOSTS!!!!
Halloween is just around the corner so it's time to dress up. KatchUp and Road Head are hosting a Halloween party at their house for On-After. It will be potluck style and BYOB. Looking forward to seeing everyone

Bring:

WATER, IT IS still HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Pot Luck item, a costume, and Drinks for on after!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.  Hur Hur the start location sounds like its on Nipplechase drive. (o)(o)


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024 Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

 

***We have one more trail left available in 2024!!!!! as soon as it is taken, I'll open up 2025! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

BMH3 #384 – 10/12/2024    Ivanna hairy butt chugs Barfday trail

When:

Saturday, October 12th Twenty TwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

George Mitchell Nature Preserve
5171 Flintridge Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77381
https://maps.app.goo.gl/WYXAx4wMJfj49vd59
30.162925972371069, -95.51777841208369

Hares:
IVANNA HAIRY BUTTCHUG!!!!

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Every other week you halfminds do your best to kill my old ass off…either by a rough trail or by a rough on after. Anyway, I have survived yet another year of hashing and it’s your turn to pay! I’ll be laying a wonderful, celebration trail in honor of my birthday.  Expect shiggy, water crossings, and shenanigans. On after will be a pool ending with a taco bar! Bring your own booze and your own towel! I’m sick of losing towels to ya’ll fools!


Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT!
On after booze and towel and swimsuit!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 BMH3 #383 – 9/28/2024: 8th Annual FLOCK YOU!

When:

Saturday, September TwentyFourth, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Spring Creek Nature trail
Dead End of Glen Loch Dr
https://maps.app.goo.gl/e1JyMeXagWSCCr3JA
30.113658605646269, -95.48915437527969

Hares:

Womb Raider and the Flock

Sidenote:

Note the early start!!!

FROM THE HARES:
The Birds are flying again! Join the Flock for 3 loops (6ish miles total) of shiggy, thorns and water crossing. There will be rubber duckies. There will be “bird” food and drinks. There will be a Nest full of beautiful birds and maybe a Chicken. There will be Flabongos. There is the possibility of an aquatic bird friendly on after. Bring your waterfowl suits just in case. Don’t forget to don your prettiest bird apparel!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!

A Swimsuit, towel, and drinks for the on after!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #382 - 09/14/2024: Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's BIRFDAY Trail!

 

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

BMH3 #382 - 09/14/2024: Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon's BIRFDAY Trail!

When:

Saturday, September Fourteenth TwoThousandTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Lakeside Park
5001 South Alden Bridge Drive, The Woodlands, TX 77382
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1zq2BiRhHCAVDsKb6
30.203710308105669, -95.54207881501769

Hares:

Cocktor Spork
Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
It's that time of year again, peeps. Cocktor Spork and Indiana Bones need to throw their anal birfday hash so we can have another hurricane hit Houston. Not sure the last time we had a birfday trail that didn't have a hurricane, a tropical depression, or a solid pounding. Not the fun kind, like the kind with rain. In any case, have we got a trail for you!

Between 3-5 miles with at least one beer check. Lots of shiggy, lots of water, and some damn b00b and dick checks. It's too far out to see what the weather will be, but my guess is somewhere in the 80°s and rain. So bring a damn change of clothes. Drink water, 'cause you're gonna get into the thick of it, and you need your powerful thighs to have the energy to push through.

For the THIRD hashhh in a row, 0n-After will have a pool - so bring your damn bathing suit! So not only will this be the trail of the year, but there will be an 0n-After with another chance to make hash babies later into the evening! As it turns out, chlorine is not a great seamen-stopper. #Science

We hope to see you out there - you won't wanna miss it!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Swimsuit,towel, and drinks for pool on after.
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #381 - 08/31/2024: Just Lulus(the human) Virgin Lay and Outside Cat with a pool party and fajitas on after!!!!

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #381 - 08/31/2024: Just Lulus(the human) Virgin Lay and Outside Cat

When:

Saturday, August ThirtyFirst TWentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Champion Forest Park
9650 Cypresswood Dr, Houston, TX 77070
29.9912634597069, -95.55229335755269
https://maps.app.goo.gl/xQ1MnUbsTQNX2aFG6

Hares:

Just Lulu(the human)
Outside Cat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Do you like getting hot?
Do you like getting wet?
Do you like wishing death on the people that made you hot and wet?
If so, have we got a trail for you!  
Cum one, cum all, for Just Lulu the Human's VIRGIN Hare!  
Since we don't hate her, and want her to live and stick around, we decided KatchUp should not be the one to teach her how to hare.  No, we thought it was time for her to have a slap of reality and get a full day of a hungover Outside Cat.  We're guessing.  Cum see the result when Outside Cat spends the day directing the small, drunk kitten that is Just Lulu the Human.  Will she try to treat Lulu the Human like Lulu the Dog?  Bark bark, bitch.  What else are we guessing?  

Trail will be about 3-4 miles... we think.  
There will be shade and water to get wet... possibly.  
And last but not least, there will be a POOL ENDING WITH FAJITAS!!  Allegedly.  If that were to transpire, it would be a BYOB type of on-after.  Not like, "Ohh, can I have some circle beer for on-after?"  Le no.  There will be gas stations along the way, or you can bring a lil'ol cooler with your favorite beverages in it.  Of note, Just Lulu the Human does not yet have a hash name.  She needs a hash name.  If you have stories, bring them.  If you don't, start making them up.  We've gotten through the climax of heat, and now we're dropping faster than Lulu's patience level with KatchUp when he's trying to mansplain things to her.  So cum on out, you won't wanna miss it!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS STILL HOT!

Swimsuit, plate, utensils and beverage of choice for on after!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #380 – 8/17/2024: Ivanna Hairy Buttchug and Indiana Bones and the temple of poon

 

 

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #380 – 8/17/2024: Ivanna Hairy Buttchug and Indiana Bones and the temple of poon

When:

Saturday, August Seventeenth, Twentytwentyfour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Parking-Lake at Springwoods Village Nature Preserve
https://maps.app.goo.gl/HectJLjAZUPvhnka9
30.1026966455169, -95.45671382024069
If you find yourself at the cul-de-ballsac on Morning Dove Bend, you went the wrong way, Go back to Holzworth, head north, and keep going down the dirt road.

Hares:

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug
Indiana Bones and the temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Are you ready for a day of water play, slip n slides and water slides?  We have none of that. But we will have a refreshing day in the creek. We will take you through some great shiggy and pour you into the water for some river fun.  Bring a float!  Trail will take you down the creek so find something you can float on, you know, rubber raft, a log, an old couch cushion, anything that will keep you above water.  Trail will be 3-4 miles with at least 1 beer check. Bring sun tan lotion and bug spray.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #379 – 8/3/2024: CSI

 

***We Need hares Nov/Dec!!! Sign up instructions here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 BMH3 #379 – 8/3/2024: CSI

When:

Saturday, August Third TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check probably

Where:

Carter Park
7221 Treaschwig Rd, Spring, TX 77373
30.052770273871069, -95.32661080332569
https://maps.app.goo.gl/MChN2SZHrcFJ324X8

Hares:

CSI

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
2-3 mile heavy shiggy, muddy, fallen tree trail.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #378 – 7/20/2024: Slumbag!

 

 

***We Need hares on Aug 31, and Nov/Dec!!! Sign up here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

BMH3 #378 – 7/20/2024: Slumbag!

When:

Saturday, July TWentieth TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check or TWO

Where:

That parking lot at the dead end of old riley fuzzel rd
1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386(not exact address, you want to be on the south side of 99, in the usual parking lot.  Just use the GPS coordinates)
30.093409547239269, -95.40565000189469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/c6ygnR64Lg3FZ4kT7

Hares:

Slumbag

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
3-5 miles, 1 or 2 beer checks. Distance and Beer X depending on temps on Saturday.    Plenty of shiggy.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #377 – 07/06/2024: Outside Cats Birthday!

 

 

***We Need a HARE for the VERY NEXT TRAIL! Sign up here: https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

BMH3 #377 – 07/06/2024: Outside Cats Birthday!

When:

Saturday, July Sixth, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned craft Beer Checks

Where:

Grogans Point Park
100 Grogans Point Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77380
https://maps.app.goo.gl/mhUCmcEHiecQrLUy8
30.11618490023069, -95.47919989075869


Hares:
Outside Cat

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Come one come all to Celebrate Outside Cat's Birthday.  Trail will be between 3-5 miles with TWO craft beer checks.

Outside Cat will be making Taco's and snacks for the On-In

Bring water for on trail, bug spray and a change of clothes. It's going to be hot, best to leave the dogs at home.

Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT! - seriously we don't need anyone dieing on trail!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #376 – 06/22/2024 Peg the Pirate Raiders

  

***Haring opportunities for summer trails are filling up! SIGN UP NOW! https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #376 – 06/22/2024    Peg the Pirate Raiders

When:

Saturday, June TwentySecond
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Parking-Lake at Springwoods Village Nature Preserve

Trailhead by Exxon. !!! NOT the neighborhood next to it. Turn on Holzwarth Rd and keep going straight. Follow the park road past the gate and there will be a big parking area on the right. !!!

30.102958006719216, -95.45589909425924

Hares:

Peg Leg Hooker and Womb Raider 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
In honor of our names Peg Leg Hooker and Womb Raider trail will be Pirate themed. All this really means is a rum shot check and you can say Arrrr to your hearts content. But if you dress like a pirate we won’t be mad. Trail will be between 3-4 miles with plenty of shiggy and thorns. Expect water crossings unless creek is high and looks like it could send the pack to Davy Jones’s locker. Have no fear there is plenty of good shiggy even if we have to stay on one side of the creek. Arrrr Arrrr!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-