A Trail to Remember

 

***Haring opportunities for summer trails are filling up! SIGN UP NOW! https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 BMH3 #374 – 5/25/2024: A Trail to Remember

When:

Saturday, May Twenty-Fifth, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Alden Bridge, The Woodlands, TX 77354
https://maps.app.goo.gl/CwcMA8WisNX9kCCDA?g_st=ic
30.210388, -95.565674

Hares:

Ivanna and Indiana

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Join us for a trail to remember...and an on after you might forget! We promise trail will be laid before you start! There might be shot check challenges, there might be a celebration with cake and balloons. We promise it will be a fun day!  Trail will be between 0.69 and 6.9 miles.  Trail will be wet and dry.  Trail will be sunny and shady.  Beer check will have beer and maybe a few other beverages.  On after will have a pool and food.  Time to celebrate the beginning of summer before it is too hot.

From Twinkle:  Starting to get warm out there, make sure you hydrate before trail, and bring water to drink on/after trail!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #373 – 5/11/2024: CockULator

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 BMH3 #373 – 5/11/2024: CockULator

When:

Saturday, May Eleventh, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Cypress Creek Park at Timberlane
2114 Naplechase Crest Dr, Spring, TX 77373
https://maps.app.goo.gl/HRgjQbh7KucRUemV6
30.044595906356869, -95.40365055944569

Hares:

CockULator

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
I think it looks pretty fun. I'm going to try to bring it in around 4 miles since it's not supposed to be too hot.
At least one beer check. We can only hope cypress creek will be low enough for a water crossing, but I will do my best to get everyone wet.

From Twinkle:  Starting to get warm out there, make sure you hydrate before trail, and bring water to drink on/after trail!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #372 – 04/27/2024 Save a Horses barfday trail!

 

 

 

 

****We NEED HARES FOR THE NEXT FEW TRAILS!!!  

SIGN UP NOW! 

https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 

BMH3 #372 – 04/27/2024    Save a Horses barfday trail!

When:

Saturday, April 27th TwentyTWentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• At least 1 bier check!

Where:

H4 campout!
801 Oakridge Cir, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.58409077278769, -95.15002116282569
https://maps.app.goo.gl/8e3Hzq5w1KMAJWZT8

Hares:

Save a Horse (Ride a Mole)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Save a Horse (Ride a Mole) Barfday Trail -
Due to H4's pour comprehension of how to navigate shiggy, their humble misman has asked kindly (and how!) for the illustrious Save a Horse to save their asses.
Now, being the noble hare as always, Save a Horse has graciously decided to grant their request. And to even do so on their exact birthday!! What a gentleman, indeed.
Expect the usual from a Mole trail. To ensure more time for bier, trail will be no more than 3 miles. There will certainly be water crossings, at least 1 bier check, and you bet your sweet virgin ass there will be shiggy, the gods damn it!
Start is at 801 Oakridge Cir, Coldspring, TX 77331
It's just a little journey through pine country to get there, so plan your departure from a safe, dry, and thornless home accordingly.


From MISMAN: If you're super lame, and not attending the H4 campout, THATS OK!  They have graciously agreed to have a trail/circle only option for $5! So COME! Pay your $5, do trail, circle, and then hit the road!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #371 – 4/13/2024: Ivamna Hairy Butt Chug and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

 

 

****Lots of summer trails available!!  SIGN UP NOW! MAKE US WET!
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BMH3 #371 – 4/13/2024: Ivanna Hairy Butt Chug and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

When:

Saturday, April 13th TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

WG Jones State Forest Trail Head

FM 1488, Conroe, TX 77384

30.234439755362769, -95.48216636441869

https://maps.app.goo.gl/EUXT8E2smgamgTsFA

Hares:

Ivanna Hairy Butt Chug

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

After a wonderful TXIH weekend it’s time to get back to regular life. So its Monkey time! It’s also tax time. Your hares for this weekend trail, Indiana Bones and Ivana, will punish you like the IRS. Are tax forms frustrating? Yep, so is this trail. Are tax laws confusing? Yep, so is this trail. You will cry like an auditors bitch, you will bleed like your bank account at tax time. Expect 1-1040 ish miles, several beer checks, some new trail marks and a possible pool ending.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING REALLY NICE OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=KatchUp=-

BMH3 #370 – 3/30/2024: Penis Fly Crap and Just Scott

 

****Lots of summer trails available!!  SIGN UP NOW! MAKE US WET!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

 

 

 BMH3 #370 – 3/30/2024: Penis Fly Crap and Just Scott

When:

Saturday, March 30th TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

6307 Green Forest Ln, Spring, TX 77386
30.069789682880369, -95.3183812207469
https://maps.app.goo.gl/W7qLHnvPBxare6jo7

Hares:

Penis Fly Crap
Just Scott

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Cum on out for a lovely spring hash and Just Scott's virgin hare.  No gimmicks, just shiggy.  Bring $5 and virgins

Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING REALLY NICE OUT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

The Green Dress Run and an Analversary for 69!!!

 

 

 

****Lots of hare dates open!!  SIGN UP NOW!
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BMH3 #369 – 3/16/2024: The Green Dress Run and an Analversary for 69!!!

When:

Saturday, March Sixteenth TwentyTwentyfour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

That parking lot at the dead end of old riley fuzzel rd

1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386

30.09337215624741, -95.40564508348992

Hares:

Cocktor Spork - KatchUp - Twinkle Toes? 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

It's finally time for all of us to go nose-diving together into that glorious cusp of the V that is our legs. This amazing trail is hared by three hares with plenty of great shiggy trails under their belt, so expect some damn good shiggy. We are looking at a nice and easy 4-6 mile trail with the potential for two beer checks. The weather leading up to and on the day of is looking a bit wet; if that is the case, we could be looking at an adventure float down Spring Creek. Make sure to bring some kind of flotation device in the event we get to float. We will have a dog-friendly trail, but unfortunately, no floating for your furry friends unless you want them to

Song from the Hares:

(Melody - 369 Cupid ft. B.O.B)

Three, six, nine the Monkey drank wine

The monkey smoked the dope on the street car line 

And the line broke and the monkey got chocked

And they all went to heaven in a lil' inflatable float ((clap, clap))

Ladies and gentlemen I'm about to make you feel alright

I've got the beat to move your feet plus I know just what you like,

Rough shiggy ahead, in your sight

Let's make another monkey and drink all night

Bring:

WATER, IT IS starting to warmup!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Dont go in the neighborhood, from holzworth, drive down the dirt road until you see the parking lot.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #368 – 3/2/2024: Womb Raiders birthday!

 

 

****Lots of hare dates open!!  SIGN UP NOW!
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BMH3 #368 – 3/2/2024: Womb Raiders birthday!

When:

Saturday, March Second TwentyTwentyfour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Parking-Lake at Springwoods Village Nature Preserve
Trailhead by Exxon
24000 Holzwarth Rd, Spring, TX 77389
https://maps.app.goo.gl/nBxp2KwcN1FAvQ1D7
30.1029838112169, -95.45661527414569

Hares:

Womb Raider

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Trail will be between 3-4 miles with plenty of shiggy and thorns. It is finally warm enough to get y’all wet so expect water crossings. There will be one manned beer check with tasty selections of beverages and one unmanned shot check (no guarantees shots will be tasty as Dresses with Wolves picked it out based solely on the coolness of the label). For circle I will be baking something (or let’s be honest more likely buying something) Birthday Cake like. Looking forward to punishing y’all with a great/shitty trail in honor of another year of survival and drinking for it!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS starting to warmup!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Dont go in the neighborhood, from holzworth, drive down the dirt road until you see the parking lot.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #367 – 2/17/2024: TWINKLE TOES 40th birthday!! and Brass Monkey 14th anniversary CAMPOUT!

 

****We need Hares in March and April!!  SIGN UP NOW!
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BMH3 #367 – 2/17/2024: TWINKLE TOES 40th birthday!! and Brass Monkey 14th anniversary CAMPOUT!

When:

Saturday, February Seventeenth, TwoThousandandTwentyFour

•Camping: Anytime you want, I suggest early enough to setup camp before trail

• Trail: Main Pack NOON show, NOON:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

TRAIL:
Double Lake Hunter camp on NFSR 220
Forest Service Rd 220, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sL1SAkKX35KajKNB7

Camping:Go read the Notes from the Hares!

Hare:

TWINKLE TOES!!!!!!!

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
TRAIL:  Trail will gather at NOON, Pack off at NOON:30! Trail will be 4 to 6 miles of glorious Sam Houston National Forest shiggy.  I mean this area is just some of the best shiggy I have had the pleasure to scout and lay in a looooong time.  Expect serious shiggy, if necessary, you will be able to bail at the beer checks.  I highly recommend Shiggy Socks/pants, long sleeves,and bug spray, I found a tick on me afterwards.

CAMPING: For the on after, we will be CAMPING!!!!! After circle beer runs out and hash snacks are gone, you're on your own! Bring Your Own EVERYTHING! You'll need to take care of yourself until you can pack up and leave sunday morning.
I highly recommend arriving a bit before trail and setting up your camp before trail. You can come as early as you want, even Friday!
These campsites are primitive, as in bring a poop shovel primitive!

With the weather being a little soggy in the days beforehand, we have two options for campsite:
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369    The Start location campsite, it's nicer, but tends to become a bit muddy, so if it's too muddy, or crowded, we'll go to option B

Option B will just be a little farther down NFSR 220: 30.539560125179769, -95.1290570960769  It's closer to the road, but less pooling water, If we camp here we'll do CarFronts to the start of trail.

I'll post and park my Jeep at whichever site I think we should use, but really whoever sets up tents first gets it.

Bring:

WATER, you're camping and running, you'll get thirsty!
FOOD you have to feed yourself dinner, and maybe breakfast depending how fast you leave Sunday.
BOOZE, circle beer won't last all night
FIREWOOD
SHELTER
POOPSHOVEL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail and camping on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #366 – 02/03/2024: 4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

 

****The rest of 2024 Trail signups are now available!  SIGN UP NOW!
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BMH3 #366 – 02/03/2024: 4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

When:

Saturday, February Third, TwoThousand and Twenty Four
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

South end Cul De Sac of Mesa Dr, Humble, TX 77396
https://maps.app.goo.gl/cWm7bPNwvEEAy8WH8
29.92454993098769, -95.28004306775469

Hares:

4get-me-nutz & Its A GOAT Throat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail will by A-to-A prime!!! Length 3.69 miles
Info: A mix of shiggy and NE Houston splendor! Lots of rough terrain, one section with scrambling up/down a hill, a BVC water crossing over a plank bridge, multiple instances of trespassing (j/k.. unless?), yeah folks we got it all! Should be dog friendly, but walkers need to be ready for difficult terrain, walking over broken glass/boards-with-nails, etc. Because of recent rain, there will likely be plenty of standing water and sogginess on trail. Plan accordingly!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

Turns out Nutz likes you and gave me directions to pass along!
Going eastbound on BW8 North loop, take Mesa Dr exit (first exist after 59, last free exit), turn right onto Mesa Dr and drive into the Fall Creek subdivision. Go past two pools and over a bridge and you’ll reach southern termination point of Mesa Dr. Look for hashers.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #365 - 01/20/2024:CSI

 

 

****The rest of 2024 Trail signups are now available!  SIGN UP NOW!
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 BMH3 #365 - 01/20/2024:CSI

When:

Saturday, January twenty, TwentyTwentyFour
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Carter Park
7221 Treaschwig Rd, Spring, TX 77373
https://maps.app.goo.gl/1evAy2HaFvPcBd7T6
30.05272974509469, -95.32650621483969

Hares:

Cant Stop Inhaling (CSI)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
No water crossings and length will be temperature dependent.

Bring:

WARM CLOTHES, IT's cold!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #364 – 01/06/2024 - Up Chupped the Monkey from the coconut grove

   

****2024 Trail signups are now available!  SIGN UP NOW! We need Hares for THE NEXT TRAIL!!!!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

BMH3 #364 – 01/06/2024 - Up Chupped the Monkeys from the coconut grove

 When: 

Saturday, January Sixth, Two Thousand and Twenty Four

• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30pm GO

• TWO Manned Beer Checks

 Where:

23110 Fox Hunt Dr, Spring, TX 77389

30.101133,-95.489442

Hares:

KatchUp

Sidenote:

 FROM THE HARES:

I know everyone's thinking it: new year, new me, right? Screw that! Let's keep being our fabulous mess of selves and start the new year off with a trail that scratches that itchy taint. This years first BMH3 trail was clocked in at 5.25 miles but I am sure the racists will probably end up shaving it down to 2 miles. The trail is dog friendly and there will be dos cerveza cheques supplied with HOT CIDER(make it yourself)

0n-0n bitches!

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 

Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking look in the sky and follow the big airplanes north.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

KatchUp

 

The Brass Monkey Hash runs on the north side of town every other Saturday. For more information, see http://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/.

 BMH3 #363 – 12/23/2023 - The Second Ever Moon Over Monkies (MOM ™️ ®️ ©️) Trail!!! 

 When: 

Saturday, December Twenty Third, Two Thousand and Twenty Three

• Main Pack 7PM show, Live Hares 7:15pm GO

• ONE Manned Beer Check

 Where:

3383 S Panther Creek Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77381

(30.1546982, -95.4979049)

This is the front by the pool. Cocktor Spork and Womb Raider

 

Hares:

Cocktor Spork and Womb Raider

Sidenote:

 TRAIL STARTS AT SEVEN FUCKING PM

FROM THE (H)AIRS:

Ladies and gents, boys and girls, that time of year is upon us. That's right, we've run out of hares so Cocktor Spork and Womb Raider are left holding the bag to lay you bastards a trail. Since it is 12/23, we figure all kinds of people will be invited to family shit for some holiday, so we think it appropriate to give you all an out by throwing a hash! Not just any hash, but only the SECOND EVER Moon Over Monkies Hash. (MOM Hash ™️ ®️ ©️) 

You can expect a nighttime trail looking at all the muggle Xmas lights, while dodging all the cars of those crazy assholes trying to give their kids some fucking core memory of driving around and looking at other people's hard work. You should probably wear, like, bright colors and shit. This will be a live laid trail with some urban (to look at the damn lights, all holy and shit), and some shiggy, to fuck with people in the dark. Expect 3ish miles with one beer check and the need for a fucking headlight. Like, it's gonna be 7pm, wear a fucking headlight. Bring a friend, bring your mom, and bring a sweater for circle so you don't freeze your ass off. 

7pm show, 7:15pm hares go, then you assholes go after. You won't want to miss it. It's gonna be "great". 

0n-0n bitches!

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 

Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking look in the sky and follow the big airplanes north.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork 

 

(Updated by Cocktor Spork - 12/20/2023)

 

The Brass Monkey Hash runs on the north side of town every other Saturday. For more information, see http://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/.

BMH3 #362 – 12/9/2023: Beating around the Bush at NOON!

TRAIL STARTS AT NOON!!!!!!!!
 

 

****2024 Trail signups are now available!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

 

BMH3 #362 – 12/9/2023: Beating around the Bush at NOON!

When:

Saturday, December Ninth, TwoThousand and Twenty Three
• Main Pack 12PM show, 12:30PM Go
• TWO Manned Beer Checks

Where:

8069 Volta Drive, Humble   
https://maps.app.goo.gl/UBW9oA5nNFtQQit49
29.995812270411569, -95.30333820674669

Hare:

Penis Fly Crap

Sidenote: TRAIL STARTS AT NOON

FROM THE (H)AIRS:
Instead of wasting precious time coming up with monkey aviation puns for a trail description, your hare spent his time on the ground planning an awesome trail around Bush Intercontinental.  Peak fall foliage is finally arriving in Houston, so you will be treated to lovely leaves as you hash over the hills and through the woods surrounding the airport.  You'll probably get two beer checks and some planespotting.  There are lots of deer around, and shiggy, and traffic, so I'd advise leaving dogs at home.
Bring $5 and virgins AT NOON

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking look in the sky and follow the big airplanes north.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Come one come all for the First Anal Brass Monkey Holiday Party!!!!

 Come one come all for the First Anal Brass Monkey Holiday Party!!!!

 

 When: 

Friday December 15th!!! at 7pm!

 Where:

The Buttchug Bones house. 

 86 Sunlit Grove st, 77382

https://maps.app.goo.gl/xtBk4joTTj13eAEz6

30.212700668152569, -95.52372287554469

 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HOSTS: 

 Come one come all for the First Anal Brass Monkey Holiday Party at the Buttchug/Bones house. 

Start time is 7pm. Food will be provided so please RSVP! BYOB on beverages.

There will be a white elephant gift(~$15) exchange so bring a wrapped gift(~$15) for anyone who wants to participate…could be funny, naughty, useful, plain stupid, or just $15! Be clever!

There will be a cookie exchange so bring a batch of your favorites and a container and everyone goes home with a good variety of cookies for the holidays!

Hot tub will be hot, weather permitting the pool will be warm too! No need to dress fancy, any ugly holiday sweater will do! Spork says he’s bringing naughty dreidel and a menorah to round out the holiday festivities.

We hope to see everyone there! On-on!

 

Bring:

Your Own Beverages

White Elephant gift(~$15)

Cookies for the cookie exchange

Swimsuit....maybe
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a holiday party on your own. 

 

 D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

 

 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #361 – 11/25/2023: Womb Raider

 

****2024 Trail signups are now available!  SIGN UP NOW!
https://teambrassmonkey.blogspot.com/2023/11/2024-hare-signups.html

BMH3 #361 – 11/25/2023: Womb Raider

When:

Saturday, November TwentyFifth, TwoThousand and TwentyThree

• Main Pack 12PM NOON show, 12:30PM Go

• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

**George Mitchell Preserve /Creekside Park** Gravel Parking lot on the North Side of the road
AFTER 6000 Creekside Forest Drive, Spring, TX 77389
https://maps.app.goo.gl/vnq8cogvX5H9XcfRA
30.144227420860369, -95.51140354002669

Hares:

Womb Raider

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
GOBBLE! GOBBLE!! GObBLE!!! Turkeys err Monkeys ATTENTION!!!! EARLY START 12pm!!!!! Did you eat an appropriately gluttonous amount of Thanksgiving food and need to run some of it off? Do you still have a hangover from drinking to excess to ease the pain of mandatory family time and need hash therapy? Maybe you just miss us. I got you. Trail is somewhere between a Katchup beer mile loop and 4 miles. Expect the usual thorns, shiggy, and probably water crossings unless the hare is too cold. There will be one manned beer check with fall appropriate beers and maybe some tasty baked goods for circle if I don’t get lazy.

Bring:
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

2026 HARE SIGNUPS!!!!!

We've opened up 2026 trails, so check out the spreadsheet linked below and sign up to Hare!

First CUM first served! Call dibs on those birthdays, anniversaries, and celebrations ASAP!

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

Never laid a Brass Monkey H3 trail? The rules are simple!
You MUST have shiggy
You MUST have at least one beer check, for which you are responsible for supplying the beer/slut juice/alcohol-of-some-kind.
Don’t lay a trail on the side of a busy road like an asshole.
Don’t lay a trail that has to swim across a mile-wide crossing like an asshole.
Not sure you want to do it yourself? Ask for a co-hare!
If you haven't hared in a while, or ever, now is your chance for redemption! Show us what you got!
Questions, Comments?
ON-ON
-=Twinkle Toes=-

8=======HOW TO SIGN UP=====D~~~~~~~~~~~~
1: Open our Google spreadsheet 2023 Brass Monkey Hares
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing
2: Peruse the Red dates(note the little corner markers indicating someone else has already commented and asked for a date)
3: Right click(or long press if on a phone) the Hare Cell for the Date you're interested in, and press Comment
4: Write your hash name,Run Title, and a non-facebook contact method, then press "comment"
5: Have a beer (or six) and wait for me to mark your date as taken, and fill in the details to make it "official"
6: Put your trail on your own calendar, and set a reminder a month out so you don't forget that shit.
7: Hare your trails

BMH3 #360 – 11/11/2023: Homoglobins Veterans day trail!

 

 

 

🚨🚨🚨 We Need a Hare for 11/25! The hash doesn't work without volunteers!  To sign up to hare Follow this link! 2024 trail signups will be opening after all 2023 dates are filled!!!🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

BMH3 #360 – 11/11/2023: Homoglobins Veterans day trail!

When:

Saturday, November Eleventh TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Burroughs Park Pavilion
9738 Hufsmith Rd, Tomball, TX 77375 and drive aaaaallll the way back to the pavilion
https://maps.app.goo.gl/RjGkHxssKb5z7P5r9
30.13815577641269, -95.57559286691169

Hares:

Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
3.5 miles ish
First 10 veterans; Homoglobin will pay that hash cash.  Nothing else fancy! Just like the military

Bring:
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #359 – 10/28/2023: Super Secret last minute hares!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We Need Hares for 11/25, and 12/9!  To sign up to hare Follow this link! 2024 trail signups will be opening after all 2023 dates are filled!!!🚨🚨🚨🚨 

BMH3 #359 – 10/28/2023: Super Secret last minute hares!

When:

Saturday, October TwentyEighth
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check Probably

Where:

Inway Pool back parking lot
6041-5925 Inway Dr, Spring, TX 77389
https://maps.app.goo.gl/aPthw5pHpySdbCn28
30.112467919545669, -95.51176940949169

Hares:

Outside Cat
Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Outside Cat and Twinkle Toes have swooped in to save us from another Katchup Monkey mile!
Trail will be SHIGGY! WET! and between 3 and 5 miles!

Bring:

WATER, IT WILL BE WARM AND HUMID!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #358 – 10/14/2023: Ivanna Hairy Buttchugs 60th birthday trail!!!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We have an opening for a halloween(almost) trail! As well as some end of the year trails. To sign up to hare Follow this link! 2024 trail signups will be opening after all 2023 dates are filled!!!🚨🚨🚨🚨 

 

 

BMH3 #358 – 10/14/2023: Ivanna Hairy Buttchugs 60th birthday trail!!!

When:

Saturday, October Fourteenth, TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Two Beer Checks!!!

Where:

Montgomery County Preserve Trailhead
1118 Pruitt Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77380
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ozrxj37gasBHsMSY7
30.111908556752769, -95.4520563903269

Hare:

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug!

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Come on out for the once in a lifetime event, more rare even than an eclipse! 

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug has survived another decade despite how much the Brass Monkeys try to turn him into their new Heartache! Help us celebrate Ivanna's 60th birthday! Ivanna considered themes fitting of such a milestone...a 60 mile trail? No. 60 water crossings? Too hard. 60 beer checks? Too drunk. Celebrate all the presidencies he has survived? Too controversial. Ivanna has a plan he knows you will enjoy? Remember start time is at 2pm SPORK!!! 

Expect 4ish miles, 2 beer checks, water crossings, shiggy and a 2pm start...SPORK!!! 

 Maybe Indiana will remember and bring some cake or something.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS H̶O̶T̶!̶  Actually it'll be pretty nice, but still, bring water, dont blame us if you get dehydrated!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #357 - 09/30/23: Seventh Anal FLOCK YOU Hash!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We have an opening for a halloween(almost) trail! As well as some end of the year trails. To sign up to hare Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

 

BMH3 #357 - 09/30/23: Seventh Anal FLOCK YOU Hash!

When:
Saturday, September Thirtieth, Year of our bird TwentyThousand and TwentyThree
• Main Pack EARLY 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Nest

Where:
George Mitchell Preserve Flintridge Trailhead/ Flintridge Bike Trails
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZUAJgEtVSxqgDXf29
30.162931118665269, -95.51750834669169
Parking can be limited here, carpool if possible!

Hares:
Dumpsterbaitor, Indiana Bones, Mouth Organ, Outside Cat and Womb Raider

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
It is my favorite time of year again!!! 

(NO ☹, it isn’t Pumpkin Spice latte time at Starbucks. 

NO ☹, it’s not H4 picnic time.) 

 

YES! YES! YES! It’s time for the 7th Anal FLOCK YOU trail extravaganza!!!! 

Your favorite birds have flocked together once more to bring you an afternoon filled with tasty alcoholic beverages, bird themed snacks, hot food and miles and miles of glorious Shiggy. Who knows maybe we will find that car again so Katch Up can recreate his solo photo shoot !?!  

There will be 3 (The Robin (Orange), the Dove (White) and the Blue Bird (Blue)) trails 1.5 to 2 miles each laid in different colors of flour. ALL Birds love a good Nest so ALL trails will start and end at a central Nest filled with all the goodies and your fearless flock leaders. Leave the Nest as many or as few times as you like. Expect Brass Monkey staples of thorns, shiggy and water crossings. Keep your eagle eyes out on trail for “lost” rubber duckies. Those who bring a rubber ducky back home to the Nest will get a special “REWARD”. You don’t want to miss your chance to make questionable decisions dressed like a Bird!!!


Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT! SERIOUSLY it's not winter yet!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like birdfeeding, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-