BMH3 #359 – 10/28/2023: Super Secret last minute hares!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We Need Hares for 11/25, and 12/9!  To sign up to hare Follow this link! 2024 trail signups will be opening after all 2023 dates are filled!!!🚨🚨🚨🚨 

BMH3 #359 – 10/28/2023: Super Secret last minute hares!

When:

Saturday, October TwentyEighth
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check Probably

Where:

Inway Pool back parking lot
6041-5925 Inway Dr, Spring, TX 77389
https://maps.app.goo.gl/aPthw5pHpySdbCn28
30.112467919545669, -95.51176940949169

Hares:

Outside Cat
Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Outside Cat and Twinkle Toes have swooped in to save us from another Katchup Monkey mile!
Trail will be SHIGGY! WET! and between 3 and 5 miles!

Bring:

WATER, IT WILL BE WARM AND HUMID!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #358 – 10/14/2023: Ivanna Hairy Buttchugs 60th birthday trail!!!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We have an opening for a halloween(almost) trail! As well as some end of the year trails. To sign up to hare Follow this link! 2024 trail signups will be opening after all 2023 dates are filled!!!🚨🚨🚨🚨 

 

 

BMH3 #358 – 10/14/2023: Ivanna Hairy Buttchugs 60th birthday trail!!!

When:

Saturday, October Fourteenth, TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Two Beer Checks!!!

Where:

Montgomery County Preserve Trailhead
1118 Pruitt Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77380
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ozrxj37gasBHsMSY7
30.111908556752769, -95.4520563903269

Hare:

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug!

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Come on out for the once in a lifetime event, more rare even than an eclipse! 

Ivanna Hairy Buttchug has survived another decade despite how much the Brass Monkeys try to turn him into their new Heartache! Help us celebrate Ivanna's 60th birthday! Ivanna considered themes fitting of such a milestone...a 60 mile trail? No. 60 water crossings? Too hard. 60 beer checks? Too drunk. Celebrate all the presidencies he has survived? Too controversial. Ivanna has a plan he knows you will enjoy? Remember start time is at 2pm SPORK!!! 

Expect 4ish miles, 2 beer checks, water crossings, shiggy and a 2pm start...SPORK!!! 

 Maybe Indiana will remember and bring some cake or something.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS H̶O̶T̶!̶  Actually it'll be pretty nice, but still, bring water, dont blame us if you get dehydrated!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #357 - 09/30/23: Seventh Anal FLOCK YOU Hash!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We have an opening for a halloween(almost) trail! As well as some end of the year trails. To sign up to hare Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

 

BMH3 #357 - 09/30/23: Seventh Anal FLOCK YOU Hash!

When:
Saturday, September Thirtieth, Year of our bird TwentyThousand and TwentyThree
• Main Pack EARLY 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Nest

Where:
George Mitchell Preserve Flintridge Trailhead/ Flintridge Bike Trails
https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZUAJgEtVSxqgDXf29
30.162931118665269, -95.51750834669169
Parking can be limited here, carpool if possible!

Hares:
Dumpsterbaitor, Indiana Bones, Mouth Organ, Outside Cat and Womb Raider

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
It is my favorite time of year again!!! 

(NO ☹, it isn’t Pumpkin Spice latte time at Starbucks. 

NO ☹, it’s not H4 picnic time.) 

 

YES! YES! YES! It’s time for the 7th Anal FLOCK YOU trail extravaganza!!!! 

Your favorite birds have flocked together once more to bring you an afternoon filled with tasty alcoholic beverages, bird themed snacks, hot food and miles and miles of glorious Shiggy. Who knows maybe we will find that car again so Katch Up can recreate his solo photo shoot !?!  

There will be 3 (The Robin (Orange), the Dove (White) and the Blue Bird (Blue)) trails 1.5 to 2 miles each laid in different colors of flour. ALL Birds love a good Nest so ALL trails will start and end at a central Nest filled with all the goodies and your fearless flock leaders. Leave the Nest as many or as few times as you like. Expect Brass Monkey staples of thorns, shiggy and water crossings. Keep your eagle eyes out on trail for “lost” rubber duckies. Those who bring a rubber ducky back home to the Nest will get a special “REWARD”. You don’t want to miss your chance to make questionable decisions dressed like a Bird!!!


Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT! SERIOUSLY it's not winter yet!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like birdfeeding, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #356 - 09/16/2023 - Indiana Bones & Cocktor Spork's Somethingth AИAL Birfday Trail!

 

BMH3 #356 - 09/16/2023 - Indiana Bones & Cocktor Spork's Somethingth AИAL Birfday Trail!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We have an opening for a Halloween (almost) trail! As well as some end of the year trails. To sign up to hare Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

BMH3 #356 - 09/16/2023 - Indiana Bones & Cocktor Spork's Somethingth AИAL Birfday Trail!

When:

• Saturday, September 16, 2023
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check, hopefully

Where:

Sk8Town The Woodlands (It's Permanently Closed)

846 Rayford Road, Spring, TX 77386

4HGC+J4 Spring, Texas

30.126775, -95.429304

https://maps.app.goo.gl/ikdueavz8ccsztDf9

Hares:

Cocktor Spork and 

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
WE'RE BACCCCCCCCK.  That's right, by (un)popular demand, Cocktor Spork and Indiana Bones are laying their ANAL Birfday Trail for your hashing pleasure and misfortune!  You can expect shitty September weather (it says it will only be in the low 90ºs, we shall see), shiggy, shade, and of course some water crossings.  There will be one manned beer check, and an A-Prime trail ending.  As much as I'd love doing circle in an abandoned skate rink parking lot and be all emo, there's no shade.  Make sure to hydrate and be responsible and shit, once we're done laying we'll be pretty checked out so don't expect too much from us.  Oh, also, there has been rain every trail we've ever laid together, so probably expect that, too.  Hope you see you there!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT! SERIOUSLY DON'T DIE ON TRAIL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.  Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
Fucking Google that shit, we gave you all the info.  Lazy bastard. 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? 

Sorry, can't hear you. 

(P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork

  

🚨🚨🚨 We have an opening for a halloween(almost) trail! As well as some end of the year trails. To sign up to hare Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

 BMH3 #355 - 09/02/2023 - Donnie the Retard

When:

Saturday, September Second, TwentyThousand and TwentyThree
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check, hopefully

Where:

Terramont Park

8500 Terramont Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77382

https://goo.gl/maps/L2jqMWpNHcjcvUyt8

30.202675563639243, -95.55680532407591

Hares:

Donnie the Retard

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

This trail will be short, shiggy, and shitty in true Donnie the Retard fashion. I will do my best to keep it in the shade. There will be water crossings if the water is still there and we will end with some cold and refreshing treats on top of the already provided circle amenities.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT! SERIOUSLY DON'T DIE ON TRAIL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #354 - 08/19/2023 - Just Matt Learns to lay with Save a horse

 

🚨🚨🚨 We have an opening for a halloween(almost) trail! As well as some end of the year trails. To sign up to hare Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

 BMH3 #354 - 08/19/2023 - Just Matt Learns to lay with Save a horse

When:

Saturday, August Nineteenth, TwentyThousand and TwentyThree
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check, hopefully

Where:

Parking-Lake at Springwoods Village Nature Preserve
Drive down the dirt road past the dead end at 23231 Holzwarth Rd, Spring, TX 77389
30.102866138518769, -95.45631579812969
https://goo.gl/maps/ER6SCR3nrK2rGGuL8

Hares:

Just Matt
Save a Horse(Ride a Mole)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Just Matt has volunteered to hare for the first time!
Save a Horse stepped up to steer him in the right direction!
Just Matt promises a TRAIL! But hasn't told me any other details... 

Trail will be about 3 miles, will have water crossings.  Trail will be mostly shaded with a mix of trails and shiggy!
Butt don't worry Mole will keep things from going too far off the rails?

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT! SERIOUSLY DON'T DIE ON TRAIL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #353 – 08/05/2023:Fuck Fuck Goose Shiggy Trail and Pool Party!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need a hare for THE NEXT TRAIL!!! Lay us a  short, wet trail or a  pool party, or whatever the fuck you want to lay!! To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

BMH3 #353 – 08/05/2023:Fuck Fuck Goose Shiggy Trail and Pool Party!

Hear ye, hear ye, all you adventurous and thirsty souls of the Brass Monkey Hash House Harriers! It's time to mark your calendars for what may be the hottest hash of the year on Saturday, August 5, 2023!

When:

Saturday, August Fifth Year of our lord TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• TWO manned beer checks

Where:

📍Cypress Creek MTB Trailhead
🏁14234 W Cypress Forest Dr, Houston, TX 77070
29.9840995226569, -95.57693700894869
https://goo.gl/maps/HcuXqWTfHJ6ffQSf7

Hare:

Fuck Fuck Goose

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
What's in store for this trail, you may ask? Prepare yourselves for a 3-4 mile journey filled with heat, heat, shiggy, heat and more heat! Fear not, brave hashers, for we shall have not one, but TWO manned beer AND WATER checks to keep the spirits high and mouths dry... errrr, wet! And if the weather gods smile upon us, there might even be wet stuff and other shenanigans on the trail.

On-After Pool Party:
After conquering the trail, the festivities continue at Goose's residence! Goose is supplying a pool, Malört, some orange food, and a grill for those who may wish to bring their own meat or meat substitute to cook up.

Hares Notes:
- Trail is A to A'. Bring a vessel if you plan on pre-lubing in the parking lot.
- The temperature at go-time is supposed to be >100F. If you don't want to be like Goose and almost die on trail, bring lots of water to carry with you.
- Pool On-After is BYOB and BYOM (Bring your own Meat or Meat substitute)
- Much to the chagrin of some of you; Goose's spawn will be at home so nudity is a no-go this time around.


Bring:
WATER, IT IS HOT! - Seriously everyone who didn't have it last time nearly died, and last trail was literally in water.
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

🚨🚨🚨 We need a Hare for the next trail which is 8/05/23 and the one after that TBD! Lots of trails available in August! Someone Lay us a short, wet trail or a  pool party, or whatever the fuck you want to lay!! To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

BMH3 #352 – 7/22/2023: Katch the Twink if you can

When:

Saturday, July 22nd, 2023
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• TWO Beer Checks(maybe, possibly, just come and see)

Where:

George Mitchell Nature Preserve Trailhead

Dr Ann Snyder Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77375

https://goo.gl/maps/JALmY3WMvnLCduWf8

30.14851898699069, -95.56339017679369

Hares:

KatchUp & Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
With all the chilly weather we have been having, we decided to change things up and bring the heat for this trail, so plan on getting wet with a nice 1+ mile trail. Expect to have the luxury of two beer checks but don't be too booshie if we don't. Dog friendly we expect. Ivanna is RA'ing so we should have a pretty damn good circle with no need for a hymnal

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Bug Spray!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON:


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Titty McGhee=-

BMH3 #351 – 7/8/2023: CSI and Stunt Hare Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need a hare for THE NEXT TRAIL!!! Lots of trails available in July and August! Lay us a  short, wet trail or a  pool party, or whatever the fuck you want to lay!! To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

 BMH3 #351 – 7/8/2023: CSI and Stunt Hare Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

When:

Saturday, July Eighth, Twenty Twentythree
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Old Riley Fuzzle road, right by where it turns away from 99 - park in the dirt under/next to 99
https://goo.gl/maps/oG2dubw1pQ9533168
30.09472911906069, -95.40513956977969

Hares:

CSI
Stunt Hare Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
2-3 mile shady shiggy trail with shallow water crossings. Eagle split at hares discretion weather permitting.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
SERIOUSLY, BRING A CAMELBAK FULL OF ICE WATER, we don't need anyone overheating on trail.
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.
If you find yourself at the spring creek greenway nature center, turn around and cross riley fuzzle rd.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #350 – 6/24/2023: Outside Cats Birthday!!!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need hares for THE NEXT TRAIL!!! Lots of trails available in July and August! Someone Lay us a  short, wet trail or a  pool party, or whatever the fuck you want to lay!! To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

BMH3 #350 – 6/24/2023: Outside Cats Birthday!!!

When:

Saturday, June TwentyFourth, Twothousand and Twentythree
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Creepy dead end of Red Oak Dr. approximately: 19603 Red Oak Dr, Houston, TX 77090
https://goo.gl/maps/ULPvexq6zVRau9Vq8
30.03316564259569, -95.45546468240269

Hares:

Outside Cat
Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Outside Cat promises a wonderful trail that will be shady, wet, and truly close to 3 miles. (not an IVANNA "3" mile trail).
The mosquitos are bad, so bring bug spray!  It's also the 350th monkey trail, so the chances of special treats at circle is much higher than normal.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!, no seriously, bring water to drink on trail, we don't need anyone dieing on us.
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Butt Chugs

  

🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares! Lots of trails available in July and August! Someone Lay us a  short, wet trail or a  pool party, or whatever the fuck you want to lay!! To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

BMH3 #349 – 6/10/2023: Indiana Bones and the Hairy Butt Chug

When: NOTE THE TIME CHANGE

Saturday, June 10th 2023
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

EAST of sharpening your tip(Ace Hardware) and NORTH of strengthening your... tool?(24hr Fitness)

Sadly there is no name for this location so if you need help please call Spork.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/xjetFcV6kUFA7cip7?g_st=i

30.17656071952146, -95.53466809466572

Hares:

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon & Ivanna Hairy Butt Chug

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Look who’s back, Indiana Bones!!!  She has decided that it is time to get back to hashing (not by car but by "KneeRover").  She has thought up a great return trail. Lots of shiggy, lots of shade and lots of moist V shaped areas.  Trail is about 4 miles long, give or take a tire rotation of the "KneeRover", several water crossings and a few bugs to make it worth your while. As always, Ivanna is involved so expect Ivanna type shiggy, meaning wear your shiggy socks!! At least one beer check maybe more.

Use keyword "KatchUp" for a 10% discount on your very own KneeRover. Please place all calls for the discounted price to (832) 372-5133

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Bug Spray!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares! Lots of trails available in July and August! Someone Lay us a  short, wet trail or a  pool party, or whatever the fuck you want to lay!! To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

 BMH3 #348 – 5/27/2023: Save a Horse(Ride a Mole) and 101 Donations!

When:

Saturday, May TwentySeventh,TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• TWO Bier Checks

Where:

WG Jones State Forest Trailhead (on the south side of 1488, east parking lot without the lake)
30.234131897850669, -95.48212363643669
https://goo.gl/maps/LSqiWNtohXzm9LJB9

Hares:

Save a Horse(Ride a Mole)
101 Donations

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail is 3.69 miles, with 2 Bier checks. Hashers will definitely need bug spray, and can expect water crossings ( it's a Save a Horse trail).

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Bug Spray!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Head north on 45 until you hit 1488.  Head West on 1488, first parking lot on the south side after you pass Peoples rd.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #347 – 5/13/23: The 10th Analversary of the MILF Trail!

When:

Saturday, May 13th, at 2:00pm!

• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

***George Mitchell Preserve / Rob Flemming Park***

30.1441310, -95.5114326

https://maps.app.goo.gl/jr7LKgMxautj1ycw7

Hares:

The Land of MILF & Honey and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Celebrate all MILFs and MILFs-to-be at the 10th analversary of the Brass Monkey MILF trail! Yes, in true mama monkey style, you will get into the shiggy and possible water crossings. You will be pampered with some chick pleasing foods at the end...along with the various orange colored food products too. There will be Brass Monkeys and mimosas. Yes! There will be the famous vagina cupcakes. For this special trail, there is a patch too. Cum out and play before you need to be really nice to your mamas the next day!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions. If you end up at the Spring Creek Greenway nature center, you went to the wrong side of Riley Fuzzle, flip a bitch, cross Riley Fuzzle, and drive down to the creepy dead end.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares! Next available are 5/27 and 6/10 Someone Lay us a wet trail or a  pool party! To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

 

BMH3 #346 – 4/29/23: Dim Reaper and Just Abdissa

When:

Saturday, April TwentyNinth, TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Old Riley Fuzzel Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77386 (not the nature center, the gravel parking lot)
30.09338925748269, -95.40564554557069
https://maps.app.goo.gl/VndpJ44XM3pxhFT89

Hares:

Dim Reaper and Just Abdissa

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Join Dim Reaper and Just Abdissa for a romp in the swamp! It's his inaugural hare laying experience. Trail will be A to A or mostly A and 3.5/4 miles.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions. If you end up at the Spring Creek Greenway nature center, you went to the wrong side of Riley Fuzzle, flip a bitch, cross Riley Fuzzle, and drive down to the creepy dead end.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #345 – 4/15/2023: Pits of SHIGGY!

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares! Someone Lay us a pool party! To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

 

BMH3 #345 – 4/15/2023: Pits of SHIGGY!

When:

Saturday, April Fifteenth, TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Craft Beer Check!

Where:

23738 Woodford Place Drive, Kingwood
30.061886764310169, -95.26042308880769
https://goo.gl/maps/hHdy8vU4P6VSd6av9

Hares:

Penis Fly Crap

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Saturday's BMH3 will feature a live laid trail courtesy of Penis Fly Crap.  Beer check will have beer from a trail adjacent brewery.  You will get wet so bring dry clothes for the end, along with hash cash and venturous virgins.

Bring:

WATER!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 

 BMH3 #344 – 4/1/2023: The Ain't Nobody Got Time For TXIH Trail!

When:

Saturday, April First Twenty Twenty Three
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Rob Fleming Park
6055 Creekside Forest Dr, Spring, TX 77389
30.144267883816969, -95.51290790731169
https://goo.gl/maps/c1e2rAk5BbtFUgHW9

Hares:

Donnie The retard

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
4ish miles of trails, shiggy, and water crossings. Bring a change of clothes and there is possibility of rain so cum as unprepared as you normal would.


Bring:
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #342 – 3/18/2023: Womb Emancipation Trail

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares, To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

BMH3 #342 – 3/18/2023: Womb Emancipation Trail

When:

Saturday, March Eighteenth, Twenty TwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Where: Spring Creek Nature Trail off of Dr Ann Snyder Dr 30.148590605818644, -95.56346789166967

Hares:

Womb Raider and Just Allison

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail will be 3-4 miles mostly shiggy with one manned beer check with some nice craft beers since we’re not complete assholes. Swimming doesn’t seem likely unless it really rains. Weather looks a bit nipply Sat and warm clothes are highly recommended for circle. I will also be bringing a propane heater. Not the one from the Christmas trail, a better one. There is a chance of a Wolf sighting but Wolves are nocturnal so we shall see..

Bring:

WATER, IT MIGHT BE SUPER NICE!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions. Just make sure you go to the south side of 1488 and park by the pond.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #341 – 3/4/2023: Homoglobins Spring Trail

 

🚨🚨🚨 We need Summertime hares, and a hare to lay trail for those that can't make it to TXIH. To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

BMH3 #341 – 3/4/2023: Homoglobins Spring Trail

When:

Saturday, March Fourth, Twenty TwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

William Goodrich Jones state forest (On the South side of 1488, by the pond)
2443 Farm to Market Rd 1488, Conroe, TX 77384
30.23112085575769, -95.4984550467969
https://goo.gl/maps/h1TgGJ4HeFrDZ6AB9

Hares:

Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Trail is about 4 miles ish.
A to A. Weather looks fantastic.
Craft beer and seltzer, water check.

Bring:

WATER, IT MIGHT BE SUPER NICE!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions. Just make sure you go to the south side of 1488 and park by the pond.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #341 – 2/18/2023: Twinkle Toes Celebrates his birthday, and the 13th Analversary of the Brass Monkey H3!

When:

Saturday, February Eighteenth, TwentyTwentyThree
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Forest Cove Community Center
1081-1041 Marina Dr, Kingwood, TX 77339
30.02644618886869, -95.24049822017569
https://goo.gl/maps/hKskTjrhntTBFapU8
*****DO NOT GO to an address on Masters Way, THAT IS WRONG!

Hare:

Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
In celebration of me making it another year, and the Brass Monkey Hash existing for another year, I will be treating you to an awesome trail! Trail will be between 4-6 miles. You can expect SHIGGY! MUD! SUBURBAN DECAY! WATER of varying depths!(Will I make you swim? Maybe a little!)  Since trail is wet, and it is expected to be a little chilly, I Highly suggest a change of clothes and a warm jacket for circle!  Also, to help you deal with the cold, We will be bringing some hot drink fixins, so bring a vessel that can handle the heat! Also, trail will likely be A to A', so put your circle gear in a shag bag!

Bring:

Something warm and dry for circle!
A Drinking Vessel for HOT Beverages!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 

🚨🚨🚨 2023 Hare signups are now available! To sign up Follow this link! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

 

 BMH3 #340 – 2/4/2023: Outside Cat    🎵Wet pussy, just a friendly little cat.🎵

When:

Saturday, February Fourth, Twenty TwentyTwo
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check if you're lucky

Where:

Timber Lane Park DGC
2615 Ciderwood Dr, Spring, TX 77373
https://maps.app.goo.gl/w4gt1sXXRDqs2tMBA
30.044004826324369, -95.38902141120769

Hare:

Outside Cat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
The hare has promised a shiggy trail, 3-5 miles, with a high likelihood of getting wet!

Bring:

A change of clothes, you might be getting moist, and it might be chilly.
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-