BMH3 #311 – Dec. 25, 2021: Epic Fail helps you ditch the family on Christmas!

 

Hare signups for 2022 are open!  Sign up to hare here! We need hares for the first half of 2022!

ON-ON 

-Twinkle Toes

 

 

 

BMH3 #311 – Dec. 25, 2021: Epic Fail helps you ditch the family on Christmas!

When:

Saturday, December 25th Christmas Day, 2021
• Do it yourself trail - 10AM - 2PM
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Unmanned Beer Check stashed in the woods,maybe, if you're lucky

Where:

30.044606400657354, -95.40361700014734
Cypress Creek Park at Timberlane
1906 Naplechase Crest Dr, Spring, TX 77373
https://goo.gl/maps/4ZfBTeV55ZF5cmAw8

Hares:

Epic Fail

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

It was so annoying.  Two weeks ago talk to my mom.  We are eating dinner around 5 right?  She's like yeah...then this week "oh we are doing lunch", so now you get a dead lay, and an absentee hare!
Trail will be 4 to 5 miles, shiggy of varying intensity.
I'll put a picture of how to find Chalk talk but it will be standard marks
Hashing dog friendly
I might hide a beer check, but don't expect it.

From Mismanagement:

If you didn't know there's currently a hash covid outbreak happening, multiple positives coming out of a hash event in the Houston area!  If you have been exposed, or aren't feeling 100%, please opt for the do it yourself trail option. We strongly recommend everyone TEST themselves before showing up with the main pack.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT! seriously, 80+degrees, on christmas, HYDRATE.
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:

Well FUCK, Houston area Hash Covid outbreak, and cases are going up in general, looks like we're bringing back the Do it Yourself trail option!  If you've been exposed, or aren't feeling great, or have low risk tolerance, do it yourself!  We strongly recommend everyone test before coming to the main pack start.


•Do It Yourself option will be in effect, use it to avoid exposing others, or to avoid being exposed to others.
•Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

Hare signups for 2022 are open!  Sign up to hare here! 

ON ON 

-Twinkle Toes

BMH3 #310 – Dec 11, 2021: Twinkle Toes and Outside Cat Present Monkeys in Santa hats Kickoff to the Houston Area 10 Days of Hashmas!

When:

Saturday, December 11th, 2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Montgomery County Nature Preserve Trailhead - 1045 Pruitt Rd
30.11184062286182, -95.45207683086635
https://goo.gl/maps/L7ojjXK9WFxajgUK8

Hares:

Twinkle Toes and Outside Cat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

This is it! The moment you've been waiting for!  DAY ONE of the TEN DAYS OF HASHMAS!!!!! Thats right Monkeys! TEN days of Hashing IN A ROW!!!  So grab your santa hat and get festive!  The hares will have a wonderfully shiggy trail of moderate distance, come get your hash on, and you'll even still be able to make your friends holiday party!

Bring:

A SANTA HAT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

2023 HARE SIGNUPS!

  

 

HEY HASHERS, WE NEED HARES!!!!

We're opening up 2023 trails, so check out the spreadsheet linked below and sign up to Hare! First CUM first served! Call dibs on those birthdays, anniversaries, and celebrations ASAP! Never laid a Brass Monkey H3 trail? The rules are simple! You MUST have shiggy You MUST have at least one beer check, for which you are responsible for supplying the beer/slut juice/alcohol-of-some-kind. Don’t lay a trail on the side of a busy road like an asshole. Don’t lay a trail that has to swim across a mile-wide crossing like an asshole. Not sure you want to do it yourself? Ask for a co-hare! If you haven't hared in a while, or ever, now is your chance for redemption! Show us what you got! Questions, Comments? ON-ON -=Twinkle Toes=-

8=======HOW TO SIGN UP=====D~~~~~~~~~~~~

1:Open our Google spreadsheet 2023 Brass Monkey Hares 2: Peruse the Red dates(note the little corner markers indicating someone else has already commented and asked for a date) 3: Right click(or long press if on a phone) the Hare Cell for the Date you're interested in, and press Comment 4: Write your hash name,Run Title, and a non-facebook contact method, then press "comment" 5: Have a beer (or six) and wait for me to mark your date as taken, and fill in the details to make it "official" 6: Put your trail on your own calendar, and set a reminder a month out so you don't forget that shit. 7: Hare your trails

 

 

 

BMH3 #309 – 11/27/2021: Gobble Deez Nuts

When:

Saturday, November 27, 2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Bier Check

Where:

Bear Branch Dog Park
5200 Research Forest Dr, The Woodlands, TX 77381

https://maps.app.goo.gl/njUTQH9tC4NHcxSB6

Hares:

KatchUp

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
2PM Start, Don't be late! I haven't even scouted out trail so who knows how long or shiggytastic it will be. This trail is for all those that gorged themselves during Thanksgiving and want to shed some of that weight only to put it back on with beer. Starting Beer Check count is 22* so come enjoy some hopefully beautiful trail.

*BEER check will probably not exceed 2 checks

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 

BMH3 #308 – 11/13/2021: Happy Birthday to the Marines!

When:

Saturday, November 13, 2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Bier Check

Where:

Burroughs Dog park
9738 Hufsmith Rd, Tomball, TX 77375
30.136764813143469, -95.57851364655569
https://goo.gl/maps/b1gzYW7gHTmLW4aJA

Hares:

Save a Horse, Ride a Mole

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
2PM Start, Don't be late, park closes at dark!
1 Bier check, Trail is 3 miles with some light shiggy.

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #307 – 10/30/2021: Womb Raiders Spooktacular Halloween trail!

When:

Saturday, October 30, 2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go   ***** Note the 2PM start!!!!!

Where:

Under a Creepy Bridge
30.13451799886569, -95.35025268234469
Riley Fuzzel Road
Spring, TX 77386
Google Maps: 4JMX+JR Porter, Texas
https://goo.gl/maps/z25G2x4R4Gczk3oR7

Hares:

Womb Raider

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Happy Halloween Eve! Put on your best costume and meet me under the Creepy Bridge for some Tricks and Treats. Expect 3-4 miles of Shiggy and maybe some water crossings. There will be some good Fall beer, Halloween Candy and maybe even some brains for you half minds courtesy of Outside Cat.

Bring:

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #306 – 10/16/2021: 101 Donations 10th Analversary!

When:

Saturday, October 16th, 2021
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

30.106937769677269, -95.42653518681169
Northwood Pines Park
https://goo.gl/maps/rUAgkR7tzmRjciRF9

Hares:

101 Donations

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
It's 101 Donations 10th Analversary of hashing! She's been taking all your donations for 10 years and it's time to release these donations back to the pack. Cum out and get yours!
I love all the pups, so trail will be dog friendly!
Trail will be shiggy, wet, and somewhere around 4 miles!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #305 – 10/02/2021: Homoglobins pre indigenous peoples day

 

When:

Saturday, October 2nd 2021
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

30.234811226926169, -95.4828691734269
1328 Farm to Market Rd 1488, Conroe, TX 77384
Northside of 1488, at wg Jones forest.

Hares:

Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Pre Columbus day brass monkey or pre indigenous peoples day.  Take your pick!  I discovered this trail! All are welcome!.
3.5 ish mile trail. Standard other brass monkey stuff. Ill have a beer and water check. Cum one cum all!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 

BMH3 #304 – 9/18/2021:FIFTH ANAL FLOCK YOU, hared by The Flock

When:

Saturday, September 18, 2021
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

30.093421547147869 -95.40576854457369
1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386
(***NOT Spring Creek Greenway Nature Center)

Hares:

Dumbsterbaitor, Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon, Outside Cat, Mouth Organ, and Womb Raider

Sidenote: 

HEY KNUCKLEHEAD, DO NOT GO TO THE SPRING CREEK GREENWAY NATURE CENTER!

FROM THE HARES:

 It is that glorious time of year when beautiful Birds swoop down and take over the hash!!!! Don’t miss your chance to show your feathers! All your favorite Birds (except one Special Bird that has migrated to some damn island… WE MISS YOU Red Light!) have flocked together to bring you another hash filled with avian themed bad decisions. There will be 3 trails of about 2 miles each to enjoy: the Canary (yellow marks), Bluebird (blue marks) and Dove (white marks). There will be Shiggy complete with thorns and water crossings. Experienced hash pup friendly. Trails will start and end at the Nest filled with the Flock, delicious beverages and snacks. Fly away from the Nest as few or as many times as you like. For circle we will be providing some hot food for you birds to cannibalize. Outside Cat will also be bringing back her infamous owl shaped Jello shot mold.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 

BMH3 #303 – September 4th 2021: Cocktor Spork and Temple of Poon Celebrate their Birthdays!

When:

Saturday, September 4th 2021
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check

Where:

30.11348927966169, -95.48916436458269
23902 Glen Loch Drive, The Woodlands,
TX  77380 (Deadend of Glen Loch Drive)

Hares:

Indiana Bone and the Temple of Poon
Cocktor Spork

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
HEY MONKEYS!





HEY WHAT?


 


HEY MONKEYS!


 


HEY WHAT?


 


GO FUCK YOURSELVES!  


 


But first, come to Cocktor Spork and Indiana
Bones’ BIRFDAY HASH!  That’s right, back
by UNpopular demand, the Cocktor Bones… Poon Spork…. Cocktor and the Temple of
Poon…. NO, scratch that last one…. Anyway, those two will be laying their
BIRFDAY trail on their ACTUAL BIRFDAY!
Although we share a birthday with Beyoncé as well, she will be unable to
make it this year.  What can you
expect?  3-4 miles of SHIGTASTIC
SHIGGY!  Water crossings, thorns, ups and
downs – emotionally and physically – a booze check, and a lazy as fuck socially
distant sit-in-your-fucking-chair-over-there circle.  Bring bug spray and sun screen – if you have
to pick one, burn the skin and fuck the mosquitos up.  Make sure to bring a change of clothes and shoes,
$5 for hashcash, and little to no self-esteem.
It’s easier that way.  It’s gonna
be awful, you won’t wanna miss it!

0n-0n Bitches!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why:

Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #302 – 08/21/2021 -BMH3# 302: Pogo's Memorial trail day

 

 

 BMH3 #302 – 08/21/2021 - Pogo's Memorial trail day

When:

Saturday, August 21st 2021
• Socially distanced, Do your own trail ready by Noon
• Main Pack 1:45PM show, 2:15PM(gotta hit that BC) Go
• Manned Beer Check from 1PM to 3PM

Where:

30.08623656472869, -95.37171336904569
easement near 27998 Rocky Heights Dr, Spring, TX 77386

Hares:

Can't Stop Inhaling (CSI)

Sidenote:

 Due to the current covid spike, CSI is laying this trail covid quarantine style

FROM THE HARES:

Parking down the dirt road runs the risk of tickets or towing, so park on pavement. In recognition of that bitch Delta stalking us all, I am encouraging a run/walk with your bubble. You will do what you want, but the beer check will be manned 1-3pm. Trails will be marked in crepe paper and the turkey-eagle split marked in flour. Eagle.will be a shiggy Gauge Gallop thru game trails. The Turkeys will get two passes on the beer check.
It will be hot, but you will have time in Spring creek to cool you down. There will be NO CHECKS. Enjoy the shade, creeks and pretty views.
The Hare will serve you premium beers at the check and then scamper off. I hope that you will come raise  a toast to Pogo, one of the best hash hounds. He laid trail near here three months before his passed at 17 years of age.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•If covid numbers are up, Hares will lay trail A to A or A to A' - NO CARBACKS.
•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

08/07/2021 BMH3# 301 Cougarrand takes the Monkeys Swimming

BMH3 #301 – 8/7/2021: Cougarrand takes the Monkeys Swimming

When:

Saturday, 8/7/2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
Unmanned beercheck

Where:

2-Coogs-A-Night Farm.
403 Westbrook, Pinehurst, TX 77362
30.121574301012269, -95.65299576832169

Hares:

Cougarrand and Two Mennonite

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
A to A trail. ~3 Mile trail, SHIGGY! At least one beer check. Crotch deep water crossings!
Pool ending! Dogs are welcome, as long as they don’t try to “save all of the swimmers” 😂😂.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 

A drinking vessel for monkeys at circle.
A swimsuit, and a towel, because its a pool ending!!!!!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have $5 Hash Cash

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure





Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #300 – 7/24/2021: BRASS MONKEY H3 300th CAMPOUT!!!

 

BMH3 #300 – July 24th: BRASS MONKEY H3 300th CAMPOUT!!!

****PAY AND REGO BY 9PM FRIDAY JULY 23rd if you want to us to order you food****

Watch the comments below the post and the facebook/signal groups for day of updates!

Well, holy shit, 300 hundred trails! It seems like it was just yesterday that we were just a little baby kennel making jokes about the inverted chicken wing, and naked hashing through suburban neighborhoods.  In celebration of hitting 300 trails, we are having a campout! Saturday July 24th! Yeah, we know it’ll be hot, but we are at a super shady campsite, and the trail will feature an amazing swimming hole for us to frolic in! Oh, and we’ve got an extra special 300 trails gimme!  Also, did I mention dinner??! We’re providing dinner Saturday night!

Cost will be $20 for Trail Beer, Circle Beer, Dinner, and Gimme. OR $10 staying for trail only.

So head on over and rego at https://forms.gle/mJ3oM4D1RkkHXTB59
And don’t forget to paypal witkopg@yahoo.com your $20.

Who's Cumming? https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XCJXGgz5lGaPZESqiUUr7y45VEp0L2tf5JrweEVg90c/edit?usp=sharing

Make sure to read everything below to learn all the nitty gritty details!

When:

Saturday, July 24th, 2021
• Before Noon - show up, setup camp
• Noon - Pack off
• ~1PM - Extra long SWIMMING Hole beer check
• ~3PM(or until we’re done with the beer) - second half of trail
• ~4PM - Circle!
• 6PM - Dinner
Sunday, July 25th,2021
•whenever you want -  Wake up, pack up. GTFO
• Brunch somewhere?

Where:

Four Notch Hunter Camp
Forest Service Rd 213, Huntsville, TX 77340
30.646090446094156, -95.42324424702711

Hares:

Brass Monkey Mismanagement

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:

Trail will be a wonderful National Forest deep shiggy trail! Bugs! Creeks! Hogs! An amazing swimming hole!  Trail is expected to be between 5 and 6 challenging shiggy miles. Make sure to hydrate beforehand, and fill your camelbak up, it’s gonna be hot! We will be taking a nice long break to swim and frolic in a wonderful little lake!  Make sure to carry or wear clothes you can swim in, just in case muggles happen to have found our spot.  

FROM MISMANAGEMENT:

This is a PRIMITIVE campsite, no water, no trashcans, no bathroom(EVERYBODY DIGS!).  It is also a public campground, there may be civilians around, behave accordingly, dont get the police called on us!  Bring your camp dishes to cut down on trash, and be sure to bring a trashbag and take your trash with you when you leave.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Also, bring your camping gear, BECAUSE IT IS A CAMPOUT!!
**THE CAMPSITE IS TOTALLY PRIMITIVE, IT HAS NO WATER OR BATHROOM**

So bring a shovel, and extra water!
Saturday lunch, and sunday breakfast
Dishes/silverware!
Trashbag - there’s no trashcans, and we don’t want to deal with yours, so haul it out yourself.

Why: 

Because We’ve laid 299 awesome trails, and we’re gonna lay 299 more!

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Ok, fine, since it’s way out in the boonies, and your phone probably won’t work, I’ll put something.
FROM HOUSTON,
Head north on I45.
Take Exit 102, go right at the traffic circle onto 1375
Left on 75
Right on 2296
Right on Four Notch Road
Left on FSR 213
Camp will be on the left in about a quarter mile.
You should really navigate yourself.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
Twinkles #: 661.342.1679

0n-0n,

-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #299 – 7/10/ 2021: Peg Leg Hooker and Just Chris's Hash Honeymoon trail!

 

BMH3 #299 – July 10, 2021: Peg Leg Hooker and Just Chris's Hash Honeymoon trail!

When:

Saturday, July 10, 2021
• 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

Fox Hollow Trail
23318 Vista de Tres Lagos Dr, Spring, TX 77389
30.10108951958454, -95.48935527366011

Hares:

Peg Leg Hooker and Just Chris

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail will be 3-5 mi dog friendly,  bring bug spray, sunscreen, and water. May be A to A', maybe  A to B. Depends on some more scouting today.  Will provide car backs if necessary.
Rothwood park is a new park that just opened. It closes at 9pm. Parking is just through  the gate on the right  (and before the fox hollow trail marker  on Google maps).

Bring: 

WATER ITS HOT!!

Bugspray

hashcash

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!
•YES we will have hash cash.

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #298 – 06/26/2021: Outside Cats Birthday!!! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

 

Announcement!

We need a hare for the next trail!!!!! If you want to hare:   Follow the full instructions click here.  or go directly to the Hare Spreadsheet, or you can just let me know however you want.

Also, We have a signal group chat.   Join with this link!

Thanks! 

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 

 BMH3 #298 – 06/26/2021: Outside Cats Birthday!!!  ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

When: Saturday, June 26th, 2021

• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check for main pack.

Where: 

Far SouthWest corner of the parking lot of 1585 Sawdust Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77380
30.121660409637872, -95.46840077945748

Hares: 

Outside Cat and Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: HAPPY BIRTHDAY OUTSIDE CAT!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO  Outside Cat has scouted a half shiggy half suburban trail for us!  Trail should be 3-4 miles, mostly shady, and plenty of water crossings to cool you down.  There will be a manned beer check for the main pack.
 

Bring: 

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
    WATER ITS HOT!
    Drinking Vessel for Brass Monkeys at circle.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

FROM Twinkle Toes:

WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will be having circles!
•YES we will have BEER AND MONKEYS!!!

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•THE FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #297 – 6/12/2021: Womb Raider and Dumpsterbaitor kill covid.

 

Announcement!

We're switching out of "covid mode", and moving towards a more normal hash, see below the trail deets for more info - BRING A DRINKING VESSEL

 

Also, we have a Brass Monkey group chat.   Join with this link, and Where Do You Get Off will serenade you with a song he wrote himself! - It's true!

-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #297 – 6/12/2021: Womb Raider and Dumpsterbaitor kill covid

When: 

Saturday, June 12, 2021
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where: 

30.1135440, -95.4891280
Dead end at the South end of Glen Loch Dr.
approximately 24002 Glen Loch Dr, Spring, TX 77380

Hares: 

Dumpsterbaitor and Womb Raider

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: SATURDAY SATURDAY SATURDAY!!!!! Cum join Dumpsterbaitor and Womb Raider for the long awaited return to “normal” BMH3 trails!!! Group starts are back! Manned beer checks are back!! Brass Monkeys are back (bring your own vessel)!!! Orange food is back!!! Official circles are back!!!! Hash cash is NOT back (yet)!!!! This ones on us for surviving this Covid shit and all those solo trails. Expect 4ish miles of shiggy with water crosses. Do expect heat and mosquitoes and look out for snakes. Hash dog friendly! Bring WATER and bug spray. But wait there’s more! If you are a hard core bastard and are thinking to yourself one Dumpster Womb trail is never enough cum early to the PC on Friday.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: 

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 

WATER ITS HOT

A Drinking vessel, if you want to drink brass monkey!

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


FROM Twinkle Toes:
WE HAVE SURVIVED!! Since we're all vaccinated(you're vaccinated, right??!) and Covid numbers are going down like your Mom, the Brass Monkey hash will be returning to a more normal format!  

•YES we will have group start times!
•YES we will have manned beer checks!
•YES we will have circles!
•YES we will have orange food!
•YES we will have MONKEYS!!!

Buuuuuutttt since Covid isn't 100% gone we're going to have a few changes:

•Bring a drinking vessel! no more passing monkeys around the circle - and don't put the mouth of the 40 on the rim of your vessel.
•There will be hand sanitizer by the snacks and coolers. USE IT before touching common surfaces.
•Everyone has different comfort levels, if someone wants to keep their distance, or wear a mask, Respect their wishes.
•The FRB helmet... how the fuck did we ever allow a cootie catcher like that to exist... Not sure. If Spork ever shows up again maybe we'll make him drink out of it.

We got this!
-=TT=-



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Whisper dirty things in Cocktor Spork's ear: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #296 – May 29th 2021: Donnie the Retard

 

Announcement!

WE have 4 unclaimed trails for the year! If you want to hare:   Follow the full instructions click here.  or go directly to the Hare Spreadsheet. 

Also, We have a signal group chat.   Join with this link!

Thanks! 

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 BMH3 #296: Donnie the Retard

When: 

Saturday, May 29th 2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Do Your Own Trail: "Noon"-ish (Read Below!) - 2pm
• Unmanned beer check in the woods

Where:

Montgomery County Preserve Trailhead
Pruitt road, Shenandoah, TX 77380
1045 Pruitt Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77380
30.111944, -95.451995

Hares:

Donnie the Retard

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Well folks we will be galavanting through the woods with rain and lots of mosquitos. There will be PI on trail likely and trail will be a mix of flour and fruit loops. The beer check wil be unmanned. Bring on the shit show and walkers are welcome.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares want they can have an unofficial circle

NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• If you are doing trail solo, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #295 – 5/15/2021: Save a Horse Ride a Mole, Birthday Trail RERELoaded

 

Announcement!

WE NEED HARES NEXT TRAIL!!!!! and over the summer!   For full instructions click here.  or go directly to the Hare Spreadsheet. 

Also, We have a signal group chat.   Join with this link!

Thanks! 

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #295 – 5/15/2021: Save a Horse Ride a Mole, Birthday Trail RERELoaded

When: Saturday, May 15th, 2021

• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Do Your Own Trail: "1PM"-ish (Read Below!) - 2:69pm
• Manned Beer Check for main pack

Where: 

Rubio Park
27402 Whispering Maple Way, Spring, TX 77386
30.082424594133116, -95.3507248680412

Hares: 

Save a Horse (Ride a Mole)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail will be 3-4 miles, with boatloads of water crossings to keep you wet and wild for the duration of the gangbang. There will be a bier check, there will be shiggy, but you must bring your own prelube and post lube.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares want, they can have an unofficial circle.


What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #294 – May 1st 2021: Save a Horse Ride a Mole, Birthday, and TXIH Pity Party

 

Announcement!

WE NEED HARES NEXT TRAIL!!!!! and over the summer!   For full instructions click here.  or go directly to the Hare Spreadsheet. 

Also, We have a signal group chat.   Join with this link!

Thanks! 

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 BMH3 #294 – Save a Horse Ride a Mole, Birthday, and TXIH Pity Party

When: 

Saturday, May 1st, 2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Do Your Own Trail: "1PM"-ish (Read Below!) - 2:69pm
• Manned Beer Check for main pack

Where: 

Rubio Park
27402 Whispering Maple Way, Spring, TX 77386
30.082424594133116, -95.3507248680412

Hares: 

Save a Horse (Ride a Mole)

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Gonna miss out on all the drunken debauchery the weekend of Interhash? Have no fear, you can have your turn at the gangbang we're gonna throw out in Spring!
Yes, you heathens, we are still laying trail for Brass Monkey on May 1st. It will be the Interhash Pity Party you were gonna host all by your lonesome at home.
Trail will be 3-4 miles, with boatloads of water crossings to keep you wet and wild for the duration of the gangbang. There will be a bier check, there will be shiggy, but you must bring your own prelube and post lube.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares want, they can have an unofficial circle.


What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #293 – April 17, 2021: Homoglobin

 

Announcement!

We need some hares next month, and over the summer!   For full instructions click here.  or go directly to the Hare Spreadsheet. 

Also, We have a signal group chat.   Join with this link!

Thanks! 

-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #293: Homoglobin

When: 

Saturday, April 17, 2021
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Do Your Own Trail: ~11:30AM (BC not guaranteed if you're early)
• UnManned Beer Check

Where: 

 30.092374471209745, -95.45227763580921
Dead end to the East of Springwoods Village Pkwy and E Mossy Oaks Rd
https://goo.gl/maps/EVyPvGes1yuai4Mq6

Hares: Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:  Trail is the current A to A ish.
One beer/water/white claw check,  not manned.
Bring chairs for circle if you wish.
High of 68 so it won't be warm,  dress accordingly for after trail. No hash cash, same Rona rules in place so bring your own beer. There will be some snacks for sharing, with wipes for cleanliness.
Dog Friendly
People Friendly

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares want they can hold an unofficial circle.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #292 – April 3, 2021: Ivanna and Indiana's April Fools Trail.

When: 

Saturday, April 3, 2021 2PM
• Do Your Own Trail: After main pack
• Manned Beer Check: Beer check is a normal Brass Monkey beer check. It's a turtle check.

Where:

10857 Kuykendahl Rd, 77382 - West corner of parking lot
30.1776568, -95.5394872
https://goo.gl/maps/KFqoBua135EhC1d26

Hares: 

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon and Ivanna Hairy Buttchug

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Dress like a fool. Act like a fool.  Or bring a fool.  Expect everything you like about a Brass Monkey trail......thorns, blood, mud and water.  Plus some extra April fools hare shenanigans.  If you have been missing spider webs in your face.  We have that.  If you have been missing the need to fall on your ass as you slip in the mud.  We have that too.  Trail will be 4-5 ish miles of glorious shiggy

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #291 – March 20, 2021: Speed Bumps

 

When: Saturday, 3/20/2021

• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from Noonish to 3ish

Where:

100 Acre Woods Trail Parking
14234 W Cypress Forest Dr, Houston, TX 77070
29.984173083359316, -95.5772364667112

https//maps.app.goo.gl/qjfs9YBeRonc1H1o6

Hare: 

Speed Bumps

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Expect a 3-4 mile trail, with one or more shallow water crossings and a beer check (Bring your own Water!).  I’m thinking it will be dog friendly, but they must stay on leash in the parks.  Otherwise, a typically BM quarantine trail.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into maps and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.
• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #290 -Saturday March 6th 2021- Womb Raiders Birthday Trail

 

 BMH3 #290 - Womb Raiders Birthday Trail

When: Saturday, March 6th 2021

• Do Your Own Trail: "Noon"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from 1PM to 4:30ish

Where: 

Dirt parking lot on Old Riley Fuzzel Rd, Spring, TX 77386
google claims the address is 1307 Riley Fuzzell Rd, Spring, TX 77386, but no promises
30.093368, -95.405664

Hares: Womb Raider and Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Indiana Bones and I will be laying a pleasant Spring romp over the woods and thru the creek for my Birthday! There will be two loops of about 2 miles with a central start/BC/end (aka The Nest). BC will be manned from about 1-4:30 ish with some tasty craft beer selections and probably some seltzers for those so inclined. Expect lots of shiggy, a few water crossing and maybe a touch of paved trail. Trail should be fine for experienced hash dogs. Bring chairs for socially distant after trail hang out. I will be bringing a few single serve snacks to share but BYOB for the end.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.
• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #289 – Saturday, February 20, 2021 - Twinkles Birthday and Brass Monkey 11 year analversary!

 

BMH3 #289 – Twinkles Birthday and Brass Monkey 11 year analversary!

When:

Saturday, February 20, 2021
• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from ~1pm to 3:30ish(or after the main pack leaves, we'll leave a few beers for any later hounds)

Where:

Montgomery County Nature Preserve Trailhead
1045 Pruitt Rd
The Woodlands, TX 77380
https://goo.gl/maps/TnSYoGWE6xdJMqcX9
30.111916376684594, -95.4518428552178

Hare: Twinkle Toes

Note FROM THE HARE:

Happy Birthday Fuck Meeeeeee, Happy Birthday Fuck MeeeeeeeeEEEEeeeeEEE!!!!!!!!
In proper Twinkle Toes fashion I planned and scouted a glorious 8+ mile shiggy trail, then hell froze over, no literally, it snowed, and froze, in Houston.  So now I've abreviated my previous plan, to a trail somewhere in the range of 3-6 miles.  Depending on what's available in stores, trail will be laid in some combination of flour(maybe orange if the snow is sticking around), toilet paper, creepypaper, or bioflagging. If the stores aren't a total shitshow we'll have an assortment of local craft beers for the beercheck, if they are, It'll be wicket awesome for everyone.  Also, bring your camp chairs for post trail socially distant hangout(byob).

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.




FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #288 – February 6, 2021: Fuck ‘N Write and Sharin’ Peter, the Sex Toy Sisters get BMH3 Defloured and party

BMH3 #288 – February 6, 2021: Fuck ‘N Write and Sharin’ Peter, the Sex Toy Sisters get BMH3 Defloured

When: Saturday, February 6, 2021

• Do Your Own Trail: "Noon"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Beer Check will be unmanned and stashed in the woods from noon to 6pm
 

Where: 

326 Noble St, Spring, TX 77373
30.080186814523294, -95.420996913529
https://goo.gl/maps/zbrDb6qAxMCLnC566

Hares: Fuck ‘N Write and Sharin’ Peter

Sidenote FROM THE HARES:

Fuck ‘N Write and Sharin’ Peter, the Sex Toy Sisters, cordially invite you to their BMH3 Hare Deflouring in Old Town Spring starting at noon on 2/6/21 at 326 Noble St, Spring TX, 77373. Parking is avail near the main house (the one with a garage) and on the back lawn by the RV. Please don’t park in front of the two other side buildings on the property. Trail is a healthy mix of pavement and shiggy, dog friendly (not in the house please) with plenty of drinks (craft beer, seltzers and more) hidden along the way and at on-in. Bring a camp chair and food to grill (or walk and grab food at nearby restaurants) if you want to hang for a socially distanced backyard party after. Some food and drinks provided. Live music can be heard from nearby bars, and Excalibur Brewing and Belly of the Beast is across the street from the house! Recommend starting trail no later than 5pm. Feel free to hang and party as long as you like or crash in a tent in the yard or on our couch overnight - please don’t drink and drive.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.
 

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. WATER ITS HOT

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.

FROM SPORK:
Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):
• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.
• Trail will be A-to-A'.
• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.
• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.
• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.
• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.
• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-