Friday, July 13, 2012


When: Saturday, July 21st at 3:00pm!

Lents Family Park EAST (There are two sides, GO EAST!)
540 Cypress Station
Houston, TX 77090

Donnie The Retard & ESPN

Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag(change of clothes), $$ for haberdashery, Stickers $1, $12 for shirts, thirst for beer of course.

From Houston: Take I-45 North and take exit 66B toward Hollow Tree St/Parramatta Ln. Take the 1st right toward Hollow Tree Ln/Parramatta Ln. Turn right onto Westfield Pl Dr. Turn left onto Cypress Station Dr. MAKE SURE TO TAKE THE EAST ENTRANCE, THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT ENTRANCES!

This will be a return to haring from Donnie & ESPN who have a small ginger baby at home that fell out of ESPN's vag about two months ago. Since they can now see that she will be ginger and will not have a soul, they are good to leave her in the care of three dogs and a homeless woman who smells of coffee grounds and calls herself Che Guevara while they go lay a SHIGTASTIC trail. THIS WILL ALSO BE DONNIE AND ESPN'S 8TH ANNIVERSARY! WOW! That is a lot of angry sex. There will be shiggy, oh yes, and there will be water crossings. Since there is water that means there is a chance of muddyness so that means bring your cameras to watch people eat shit!!! *Cough cough* Rim Job Bobby *Cough cough*. Bring a change of clothes, bring sunblock and bug spray, and bring AWESOMENESS! SEE YOUR ASSES THERE, BITCHES!

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

Donnie The Retard's #: (832) 257-7052

0n-0n BITCHES,

Cocktor Spork

Friday, July 06, 2012


When: Saturday, July 6th at 3:00pm!

Where: Kat Sassy's Bar
463 Fm 1488 Road, 
Conroe, TX 77384

Hare(s): EZ Chair, Rim Job Bobby, WhataItch

Why: Because you like drinking period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag(change of clothes), $$ for haberdashery, Stickers $1, $12 for shirts, thirst for beer of course. CASH FOR THE PRE-LUBE AND ON-AFTER!!! ($5 PITCHERS AND $2 PINTS!!)

D'erections: From Houston: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road North until it merges onto I-45. Take exit 81 for Farm to Market Rd 1488 toward Magnolia/Hempstead. Take the exit toward Farm-To-Market 1488 W/Farm to Market Rd 1488, Keep right at the fork and merge onto Farm-To-Market 1488 W/Farm to Market Rd 1488 (This will take you back over the freeway.) Arrive at destination.

Sidenote: From EZ Chair, the main Whorish-Hare: hey haaaaaaaay!!!! whataitch, rim job bobby & i have spent literally minutes and minutes scouting the very best hot mess slutty mc cluckerson shiggy trail the brass monkey has ever seen!!! 3 pm start with hares off @ 3:21 & pack at 3:36. start location is KAT DADDY'S bar in conroe, where i've traded the owner blow jobs for rites to $5.00 pitchers & 2.00 pints. the trail promises to be longer than .02 miles, but no more than 4 - there are 3 beer checks (unless we get thirsty) it's dog friendly, walkable a-a', no pi, but plenty of danger. if you want a dry bag, you'll most likely have to strap it to your damn self because there's very little room in the back of my car with the baby seats & all my knock off handbags. oh, yeah & bring bug spray. while you're at it, bring wild boar and baby alligator spray, too... we're gonna get you all hot messy slutty sweaty!!! ON ON Ez Chair

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Easy Chair's #: (503) 939-4587

0n-0n BITCHES,

Cocktor Spork