Monday, April 21, 2014

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 110 - Gary Busey’s Revenge



When: Saturday, April 26th, 3:00pm!!!

Where:
Spring Acres Preserve
23801 Glen Loch Drive
The Woodlands, TX 77380

Hare(s): ESPN

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, and shag bag (change of clothes). $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $15, Stickers $1, Patches $3 & $4, Socks $12, and a thirst for beer of course!

D'erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 north or Hardy Toll Road until it hits I-45 and take Exit 73 for Rayford / Sawdust. Turn left onto Sawdust Road and go past three lights until Sawdust turns left, directly past Taco Bell and Burger King. Turn left on Sawdust and go alllllllllllllllll the way until it dead ends, it will turn you hard right and left before then, just keep going. Once it dead ends you will be on Glen Loch Drive, turn left and go alllllllllllllllll the way until it dead ends. Boom.

Sidenote: Your hare will be ESPN, so expect an Original O.G. type of trail: shiggy, at least one beer check, probably some poison ivy if that bitch can find some, and since she is an evil ginger, expect soul thieving traps throughout this entire damn thing. Make sure to bring a change of clothes so you don't smell like some gross ass at the on-after. Oh ya, bring money for that. You must remember that she is evil, so there will probably be some horrible unexpected shit on trail: Jews, other gingers, you never know what this crazy bitch might throw at us. The weather is just starting to get warmish so you should probably bring bug spray and sun block, and there will be mandatory tick checks whenever we feel like making people get nekkid. Yay b00b checks!

Well there you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 109 - The Zombie Jesus Trail!



When: Saturday, April 12th, 3:00pm!!! *NOTE, IT'S NOT AT 2:00, IT'S AT 3:00 - WE HAVE MORE SUNLIGHT NOW!*

Where:
Wal-Mart Supercenter - Sterling Ridge
10001 Woodlands Parkway (at FM 2978)
Spring, TX 77382

Hare(s): PooDoo Alfredo & Skeet Squad

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash and shag bag (change of clothes). $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $15, Stickers $1, Patches $3 & $4, Socks $12, and a thirst for beer of course!

D'erections:
*Option 1: FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 north or Hardy Toll Road until it hits I-45 and take Exit 76B for Woodlands Parkway. Go for like 9 miles and look for a huge ass Wal-Mart on your left right after you pass West Branch Crossing Drive / Terramont Drive. You will have to bust a U-Turn at either FM 2978 (next big light), or somewhere before that where I'm sure there is a turn-in.

*Option 2: ALTERNATE FROM HOUSTON: Do all the same shit at the beginning but instead of exiting 76B for Woodlands Parkway go further and take exit 81 for FM 1488 West. Take the feeder to the bridge and loop under it then loop around and go over I-45 westbound. Go for like 7 miles then turn left onto FM 2978. Go for about 2-3 miles and turn left onto Woodlands Parkway, Wal-Mart will be on your right.

*YOU CAN TAKE EITHER ONE, WOODLANDS PARKWAY IS A BIT SLOWER BUT IT'S MORE DIRECT, 1488 IS A BIT FASTER BUT IT'S A LONGER ROUTE. YOUR CHOICE!

Sidenote: This will be PooDoo Alfredo's second trail... and I am going to fucking miss it, AGAIN! PooDoo and Skeet will be taking us on an epic excursion through the backwoods of Magnolia, I can hear the "Deliverance" music already. This will be a themed event, and since we are religiously tolerant, naturally it is going to be "Zombie Jesus." Waiting for you on trail will be some eggs, hidden eggs, and if you find them you can mix them with your sperm and make children. We won't tell you if they are Skeet's eggs or PooDoo's eggs so you will be taking that chance. Besides those eggs there will be plastic eggs with "something special inside". That's what one of the slutty hares told me, I don't know what "something special inside" means, but I have my ideas.

Well there you heard it people, make it happen!

PooDoo Alfredo's #: (832) 868-8600
Skeet Squad's #: (281) 682-0754

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork