Monday, August 26, 2013

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 94

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 94 - Spork's Birfday Slutty Yellow Rain-Bow Wedding Extravaganza!

When: Saturday, August 31st, 2:00pm!!!

Where:
Texas Crab Hash Land!
6848 Almeda Genoa Rd, Houston, TX 77075

Hare(s): Cocktor Spork, YellowRain, Dick The Boy Wonder, and Fluffer! (H-O-L-Y S-H-I-T)

Why: Because you like drinking period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash and shag bag (change of clothes). $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $15, Stickers $1, Patches $3 & $4, Socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course!

D'erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 South to exit 40B Pearland / Alvin. Merge onto Reveille Street, then continue onto Telephone Road. Right onto Almeda Genoa Road, then it will be on your left after like a mile.

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: This... this is going to be epic. Originally planned to be Spork's Birthday run, Dick The Boy Wonder and his soon-to-be bride will now be tying the knot on this day as well! So join us in this pre-wedding hash extravaganza. Because of my love of all things yellow, including but not limited to small Asian boys and bananas in a non-sexual way, you MUST dress up in your sluttiest yellow that you own! Dress, compression shorts, underwear, don't care, as long as it is slutty and yellow!!!!!

What do you need to know? This shit:

° You will have FOUR hares: Myself, Yellow Rain, Dick The Boy Wonder, and Fluffer! This is going to be a shitshow in its truest form.
° Wear your sluttiest yellow thing that you own! SERIOUSLY!
° If you are going to the wedding after, plan accordingly, the wedding is at 6:30pm. Dick is being amazing, as always, and inviting all the hashers - the theme is Island: No tie, no shoes, no problem... Hawaiian prints, beach hats and Island wear preferred!
° This will still be Spork's birfday run, so plan on bringing Asian virgins with you. Don't worry, I will keep them safe.

Well there you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
MasturGator's #: (936) 444-8591

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Monday, August 12, 2013

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 93

When: Saturday, August 17th, 2:00pm!!!

Where: TimberLakers/TimberRidge Community Pool
Royal Oaks Road, The Woodlands, TX

Hare(s): Fucking Tree Hugger & A Wiener Runs Through It

Why: Because you like drinking period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash and shag bag (change of clothes). $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $15, Stickers $1, Patches $3 & $4, Socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course!

D'erections: FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it hits I-45 and exit 73 Towards Rayford / Sawdust (Where you would normally exit for Spork's Spooning Spectacularium.) Turn left under the freeway onto Sawdust Road and go straight until Sawdust turns left right before Starbucks and CVS, then turn left onto it. Stay on this shit all the way until it dead ends, it will turn you hard right, hard left, etc... ALL WAY WAY! When it deadends onto Glen Lock Drive, turn right. Go until you hit Royal Oaks, aka the street with the sign saying "ALL THE SHIT THAT WAY." Park at the bottom of the hill along the road.

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: At least 2 beer checks, plenty of shiggy, maybe a road or two. There will be water crossings, unless it keeps raining much, and then 100% chance of water crossings.... "probably" PI somewhere. and of course, thorns.
Boob checks and dick checks....because it’s Tree Hugger and Wiener laying trail, and we love those things, cause we are whores. WHORES.

Well there you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
MasturGator's #: (936) 444-8591


0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork