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Friday, July 10, 2020

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 273 - Ivanna & Indiana's 7th 11th Heaventh


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 273 - Ivanna & Indiana's 7th 11th Heaventh

When: Saturday, July 11th - 7/11, BITCHES!
• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from 2:00pm - 4:00pm

Where: Carter Park
7221 Treaschwig Rd,
Spring, TX 77373

Hares: Ivanna Hairy Buttchug & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 N or Hardy Toll Road to FM 1960.  Turn right, and go for like 2-3 miles, then turn left on Treaschwig Road. Go for about 4 miles, then enter the park on yout left as it turns hard right. 

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:  Well here we are on the middle of hot season bringing you sweat, mosquitos and horse flies. All the best Texas can throw at you. Your hares have brought you a traditional brass monkey trail, lots of shiggy, thorns and water crossings. Trail will be 4 ish miles. Mostly shaded with many water crossing to cool you off. Bring water! There will be a manned beer check from 2-4 with slushees and craft beer to quench your thirst. Bring your friends, your dogs, your compass and your thirst for adventure.

Side note: there is a gun range near the park. Don't worry we did not whore you out as targets!

FROM SPORK: Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

We will still do virtual circle at 7:00pm, with the link to be posted sometime 30 minutes – 1 hour before on the Brass Monkey FB event.  Your special guest RA will be WHERE DO YOU GET OFF?!?  That's right!  Straight from the small island of Boanire and it's ONE effing COVID case, Get off and Red Light Espcial will delight you with the songs of their people.  That’s all we’ve got.  Make good decisions out there.

NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):

• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.

• Trail will be A-to-A'.

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.

• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork