Wednesday, February 28, 2018

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 212 - 7th AИAL Brass Monkey Green Dress!


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 212 - 7th AИAL Brass Monkey Green Dress!

When: Saturday, March 10th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Texas ENT Specialists
10857 Küykendahl Road
The Woodlands, TX 77382
***Park at the back corner along Flintridge Drive***

Hares: Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon & Ivanna Hairy ButtChug!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North to Woodlands Parkway, or Hardy Toll Road until it dead-ends into I-45. Exit Woodlands Parkway and take that to Küykendahl Road and turn left. Right on Flightridge Drive, second driveway on the right. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: It's that time of year, that time that getting slutty, drunk, and passing out is totally acceptable, nay - encouraged. No, not a funeral, but St. Patty's Day! Cum celebrate the 7th AИAL Brass Monkey Green Dress as Temple of Poon and Ivanna lay you a "fantastic" trail! Trail will be 4-5 miles with something for everyone: water crossings, shiggy, pavement, and obviously jesus thorns since it's a religious holiday. There will be THREE drink checks - not beer, but drinks - and some holiday thèmed antics and prizes, including a prize for BEST OUTFIT! You won't want to miss this spectacular shitshow and exceptional people watching event. Bring your A game, bring a green dress, and bring your damn sassy-ass style, because you might get a prize! Cum one, cum all, cum in green!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork

Monday, February 19, 2018

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 211: Twinkle Toes' Birfday Campout & BMH3 8th Analversary!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 211: Twinkle Toes' Birfday Campout & BMH3 8th Analversary!

When: Saturday, February 24th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Big Woods Hunter Camps, Sam Houston National Forest
https://goo.gl/maps/BpH6pqRirWo
30.615562, -95.293890

Hare: Twinkle Toes

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston / The Woodlands:
Take I-45 North,
Take Exit 102 for Farm to Mkt Rd 1375
At the traffic circle, take the 1st exit onto FM 1375 E - 0.5 mi
Turn left onto TX-75 N - 0.1 mi
Turn right onto Gibbs St - 0.1 mi
Turn left onto FM 1375 E/Elmore St - 7.8 mi
Turn left onto Boswell Rd/Four Notch Rd - 0.7 mi
Turn right onto Forest Service Rd 200 - 4.3 mi
Turn right onto Forest Service Rd 207 - 1.9 mi
Turn left onto Forest Service Rd 202 - 2.1 mi
Campground will be on the left
https://goo.gl/maps/etniws4xbuq

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Trail will be tough, expect 4-6 miles of shiggy with manned beer checks/bail points.

Bring your own everything campout!
The campground is totally primitive, no water, no toilets, just a place for your tent.
You need to bring :
Trashbag
camping gear
Latrine shovel
food AND water
booze for after circle beer runs out!
Firewood!

Do not bring:
Large Bowie knives for sticking "scary" black dogs.
Drama

Remember, this is a public campground, we may not have it entirely to ourselves, behave accordingly!

IT'S A CAMPOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Thursday, February 01, 2018

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 210: Womb Raider & Dresses With Wolves' 21st Analversary Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 210: Womb Raider & Dresses With Wolves' 21st Analversary Trail!

When: Saturday, February 10th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Burroughs Park
9738 Hufsmith Road
Tomball, TX

Hares: Womb Raider & Dresses With Wolves

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 or Hardy Toll Rd North to TX-99 West to Küykendahl Road. Turn right/ north onto Küykendahl Road, and go for about 4 miles. Turn left onto Hufsmith Road and you'll run into the park. **Park in the FAR NORTHWEST SIDE of the park near the pavilion.**

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Cum celebrate our legal drinking age analversary! Whoo-hoo! Another year without murdering each other! Trail will be 3-4 miles and a mix of runnable trails, shiggy and a touch of pavement. Water crossings are a possibility. There will be one beer check. Much like our early years together drinking Big Jug 40s for $1.25, beer check will include cheap malt liquor of the Dresses with Wolves variety. Don’t worry there will be good craft beer too. I’m also baking homemade cookies for circle.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork