Friday, June 23, 2017

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 194 - Penis First, Mouth Second's DIRTY 30 BIRFDAY TRAIL!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 194 - Penis First, Mouth Second's DIRTY 30 BIRFDAY TRAIL!

When: Saturday, July 1, at 3:00pm!

Where: Burroughs Park
9738 Hufsmith Road
Tomball, TX 77375

Hares: Penis First, Mouth Second & KatchUp

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 North to FM 2920 West / Spring Cypress Road, then turn left. Go for like 5 miles and turn right onto Kuykendahl Road. Go for another 5-ish miles and turn left onto Hufsmith Road. Go for like a mile and a half and it will wind you to the left, then turn Right into the park.
***park in the far northern lot by the lake and pavilions** don't worry about any parties, Ketchup will scare them away.

Sidenote:
OMG, it's finally happening! Is Cum-Puss pregnant again? No! Did KatchUp finally find a nice black woman to port him around under her arm? No! Did Twinkle Toes finally shave his beard, sell his furniture, and join the Jeep Corps? Nope! Penis First, Mouth Second is turning DIRTY 30! Not only that, he is finally stepping up and haring his very first trail!! He says KatchUp is going to co-hare with him, so hopefully he won't listen to anything he says and this will actually be a good trail - but we shall see! Plan on a three - four mile shiggy trail with at least one beer check! It’s Texas, so it may be 100°, it may be raining, so bring a change of clothes, bug spray, and maybe even some sun screen. Cum out and help us wish Penis First, Mouth Second goodbye to his 20s, and give him a solid hangover to welcome him into his 30s!

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off's #: (281) 608-0004

Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

Thursday, June 15, 2017

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 193 - Red Light Special & Outside Cat's BIRFDAY TRAIL!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 193 - Red Light Special & Outside Cat's BIRFDAY TRAIL!

When: Saturday, June 17, at 3:00pm!

Where: Walmart Supercenter
1025 Sawdust Road
The Woodlands, TX 77380

Hares: Red Light Special & Outside Cat

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take Hardy Toll Rd N or I-45 N to exit 73 for Rayford Raod / Sawdust Road. Turn left at the light (Sawdust Road), and go past three lights. Sawdust will turn hard left at the Starbucks, past the Burger King, turn left with it. After you turn left onto Sawdust, you will veer right, and the Walmart will be on your left. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and... mmmmmmm, boys. Sorry, where was I? Step right up for the one, the only RED LIGHT SPECIAL & OUTSIDE CAT BIRFDAY RUN! It's the time of year that you can expect something poorly laid that will probably not get you laid at all - but you might get scabies, or possibly ticks. You can expect a shiggy trail with at least ONE beer check! Plan for water crossings and grossness thanks to recent rain, so make sure to bring a change of clothes for circle and on-after! These hares have been scouting hard, er eScouting, one of them, so surely this trail will be in contention for best trail of the year!

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off's #: (281) 608-0004
Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork