Wednesday, December 30, 2015

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 155

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 155

When: Saturday, January 2nd, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Northwood Pines Park
Spring, TX 77373

Hares: Where Do You Get Off?, Fag Magnet, & Cocktor Spork

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections: From Houston: Take I-45 North to exit 70B for Spring Stuebner/Rd-West. Take the feeder past the light over the Grand Parkway (99), then turn right onto Crossgate Boulevard into the Northgate Crossing subdivision. Take your first left onto Northgate Crossing Boulevard. and take that over the Hardy Toll Road and the park will be on your left right after a small lake.

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, to the first trail of 2016, which we will attempt to make as shitty as the final trail of 2015! 2016 is the YEAR OF THE MONKEY, so let's get this shit started right! Hared by Where Do You get Off?, Fag Magnet, & Cocktor Spork, this promises to be a hevily homo-inspured trail, which means lots of bending over.

That's right, expect Shiggy, to get wet, and for there to be prizes for all the boyscouts you captur.... err rescue on trail. 3-5 miles with at least one beer check, this promises to start off your new year with a bang, or depending on how drunk you get, perhaps someone will feel bad for you and touch your whiskey-meat.

The weather says it's going to be cold and wet, like your mom, so dress accordingly, and bring warm clothes for circle!!

Questions? Comments? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry).

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off's #: (281) 608-0004
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 154

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 154

When: Saturday, December 19th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Rob Flemming Park
6055 Creekside Forest Drive 
The Woodlands, TX 77389

Hares: Donnie The Retard, London Fag, & Mud In My Crick (Maybe, it's Mud, you never know.)

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections: From Houston: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road North until it dead ends into I-45. Take exit 76B for Woodlands Parkway. Take Woodlands Parkway for 3-4 miles until you get to Golsing Road, then turn left. Take Gosling for about 2 miles and turn right into Creekside Forest Drive. Go until you hit the Traffic circle, take the 1st exit and stay on Creekside Forest Drive. 

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: What happens when two bleeding-heart liberals, and one blood-in-his-underwear independent get drunk and lost in the woods together? 

Tune in on Saturday at 2pm and help with the search party.

You hares are....

The enigmatic Mud In My Crick
The elegant London Fag
and
The enormous Donny The Retard. 

Expect an old school Brass Monkey, which means a shitty, er shiggy trail, short and sweet, with at least one beer check. mud may or may not show up, because Mud, so at least two hares, one of which speaks funny, and the other is London Fag. Celebrating all of their birthdays, make sure to help them regret living this long, so come out and get them drunk!

Questions? Comments? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry).

Where Do You get Off's #: (281) 608-0004
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Wednesday, December 02, 2015

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 153

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 153 - H4 Xmas Pre-Lubrication & Foreplay Extravaganza!

When: Saturday, December 5th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: South Picnic Lane, Memorial Park, houston, TX
(29.759626,-95.434159)

Hare: Redneck Abortion

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Cost:
°$5 for hash cash if you have not paid for the H4 xmas Party and you are just doing the Brass Monkey hash
°$0 for hash cash if you have already paid for the H4 xmas party

Bring: Shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections: From The Woodlands: Take I-45 or Hardy Toll Road south to 610 West. Go west for seven-ish miles, then take exit 10A for Woodway Drive. Turn left on Woodway Drive and it will turn into Memorial Drive. Turn right onto Sorth Picnic Drive and then right away onto South Picnic Lane. Take South Picnic Lane all the way to the most southen point and look for hashers. use these coordinates if that doesn't work: 29.759626,-95.434159

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: Come one, come all, for the H4 Xmas Pre-Lubrication & Foreplay Extravaganza! Hared by Brass Monkeys' own Redneck Abortion, this promises to be a terrible monkey-stype trail, deep in the heart of Houston. You can expect 2-3 miles of shitty shiggy with lots'o'bugs, and depending on the weather, possibly some water crossings. With at least one beer check, manned by a mystery hasher!, you will not regret starting your Saturday afternoon off like a deviant and hanging with us.

After the trail, you will have an hour+ to go change and get ready for H4's Anal Xmas Party! This year's slutty theme is "H4 Christmas Party 2015 - The Farce Awakens"! Info Found Here: (https://www.facebook.com/events/755376487899829) If you have paid for the H4 xmas party, the Brass Monkey hash is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. If you haven't paid, or you are not going, the cost is $5.

Questions? Comments? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry).

Epic Fail's #: (281) 650-3767
Redneck Abortion's #: (281) 770-4373

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork