Thursday, August 27, 2015

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 146 - SPORK'S BIRFDAY TRAIL!

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 146 - SPORK'S BIRFDAY TRAIL!

When: Saturday, August 29th, at ***3:00pm!***

Where: SPRING CREEK GREENWAY 
**There are several of these, pay attention to which one!**
Dead End, South End of Glen Loch Road,
Approximate Address is:
23915 Glen Loch Dr
Spring
, TX 77380


Hare: Cocktor Spork, Bristle While You Work, and Womb Raider

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections: D’erections: FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it hits I-45, then take exit 73 to Rayford Road/Sawdust Road. Take the feeder to the light and turn LEFT onto Sawdust Road. Continue past three lights, then turn LEFT on the fourth light where the Starbucks is, which is still Sawdust Road, it just turns. You will stay on this for several miles until it dead ends. You'll pass Wal-Mart, Sawmill Road, you'll go right, left, yadda yadda, and you go all the way until it dead ends onto Glen Loch Road (you'll see a Timber Lakes Timber Ridge Sign), turn LEFT. Go alllllllll the way to the dead end, and ta-dah!

Sidenote: It's that time of year again! That's right, it's been another year, and Cocktor Spork needs to find fresh virgins to destroy in order to curb his lust for Asian blood! *Writes down idea for novel* Not only will I be laying my ANAL Birthday trail, I'll be laying it with two hare-virgins: Bristle While You Work & Womb Raider!

What can you expect? Well, since it's Spork, you can expect LOTS 'O SHIGGY! Within said Shiggy, there shall be water crossings, thorns, deep dark woods, so deep you might be able to find one or two eATMe hashers we may have lost at some point. You can expect at least ONE beer check, and depending how terrible this thing is, maybe even two! For circle, expect terrible things, which you always should considering I was named "Hare Most Likely to Get you Killed" - that shit does not come easy. 

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork

Friday, August 07, 2015

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 145

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 145

When: Saturday, August 15th, at ***3:00pm!***

Where: Sundance Park
Alden Bridge Drive & Branch Crossing Drive
The Woodlands, TX 77382
***I AM PUTTING THE CHURCH AS THAT IS THE CLOSEST THING, BUT IT DOES NOT START AT AN EFFING CHURCH!***

Hare: Dr. Stinkfinger

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections: FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North and exit 242 WEST. (There is a toll bridge or you can just exit and turn left for free). Go for 2-3 miles and turn left on Green Bridge Drive. Go for 1 miles and turn right onto Research Forrest Drive. Go for about 2 miles then turn left onto Branch Crossing Drive. Go for a half mile then right right onto Alden Bridge Drive, then the park will be on your right. *NOTE* There are like 50 ways to get here, this is just the fastest in my opinion, but whatever your GPS wants to do, let it happen.

Sidenote: Ever been on a Dr. Stinkfinger trail before? Yes? Good, you know what to expect. Have not? Oh, sucks for you, here's what you can count on. At least ONE beer check, some serious leg cutting shiggy, and depending on the rain, there might be something anywhere from a "water crossing" to a "G-d said to Noah, build me an arky arky", so we'll see. What can you expect at the end? A POOL!!!!!!!!!!! POOL ENDING!!!! Not like let's-fill-up-Spork-and-Red-Light's-trucks-with-water-and-say-"pool", but an *actual* pool ending! With a BBQ! That's right, him and his amazing wife will be BBQing!

Things to take note of: we will be going to a very beautiful home owned by two of the nicest people ever, don't be a bastard. If you are a bastard, you will be asked to leave by me. Fun will be had there, but doing stupid things like glass in the pool or pushing people in that may be in dry clothes and don't want to be in the pool is not cool. They are also nice enough to make us food out of their own pocket, so be thankful and don't just feel entitled. Want to bring a 6er for the hosts? Great idea! The least you can do at the end of the night is to thank them immensely for letting us crash in their pool when it's over 100°.

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork