Wednesday, May 29, 2019

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 244: All Hot and Bothered... and Drunk.


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 244: All Hot and Bothered... and Drunk.

When: Saturday, June 1st, at 3:00pm!

Where: Venture Tech Park
8402 New Trails Drive
The Woodlands, TX 77381

Hares: Cocktor Spork & Womb Raider

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 77 toward Lake Woodlands Dr/Research Forest Dr/Tamina Rd. Go all the way to the first light and turn left onto Research Forest Drive. Go for about 2 miles and turn right onto New Trails Drive. The park will be on your right just past Technology Forest Drive. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: School'ssssssssss Out. Fo Summah! w00t! Yay, it's great! Less traffic, no school zones, no getting stuck behind school bus stops. Yessss. BUT, along with the awesomeness that is summer, here in the great state of Texas it also brings us the thing we dread most. No, not unsweetened tea, the fucking heat. The gross, hot, sticky, sweat dripping in all-the-things hot. Ewwww. The beautiful time of year is gone, so now we need to buckle up, wear sunblock, and stay in the fucking shiggy. You can expect 2-4 miles of mostly shiggy with a few "oh shit, a neighborhood" pop-outs. There will be at least one beer check, and since Womb Raider is one of the hares, the beer probably won't suck, event against Spork's saying, "Fuck them, PBR4LYFEEEEEEE". Virgin starting point and ending location (A to B), so maybe we'll get to meet new cops this time. Carpooling is great, you should do it, then more people can drink. Hashtag Science.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork

Tuesday, May 14, 2019


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 243: Ivanna & Indiana Bones' Revenge

When: Saturday, May 18th, at 3:00pm!

Where: ACROSS THE STREET FROM MAIN PARK AT THE TRAIL HEAD - THERE IS NO ADDRESS:
W G Jones State Forest
Across the street from 1328 Farm to Market Road 1488
Conroe, TX 77384
Google Maps: 6GM9+P4 Conroe, Texas

Hares: Ivanna Hairy ButtChug and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 81 for FM 1488 west toward Magnolia/Hempstead. Take FM 1488 West for about 1.5 miles then look on the LEFT for the trailhead; the trailhead doesn't have and address, so we used the one across the street. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Spring time in Texas means wet and floods. We have decided to not run along a river this time. Fucking rain! We will get you wet, we will get you muddy, we will draw blood. Perfect monkey trail. Bring your thirst for adventure, for beer, and sillyness. Trail is A to A. You can expect 4-ish miles of dog friendly, people friendly, not under 10 feet of water. Friendly. There will be at least one beer check!

NOT FROM HARES: For those of you that were there last trail, you know what we went through. We dealt with things we should never speak of again, like those kids from "IT". Maybe years from now, when we've gone through therapy from last trail, we will be able to speak of those events. But now? Not yet. Ivanna and Indiana Bones are doing a bit of the old "take two", so we'll see how this one goes. Thoughts and prayers for those still lost out on the last trail.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork