Tuesday, April 21, 2015

3rd AИAL Brass Monkey IronHash TEXAS: Three Trails, Three Circles, One Horrible Hangover

***DETAILS TO COME, SAVE THE DATE!***

3rd AИAL Brass Monkey IronHash: Three Trails, Three Circles, One Horrible Hangover

When: Saturday, May 16th, at 6:00am!

Where: The Woodlands, TX

Hare(s): Dick Assley, Flatline, Outside Cat, Cocktor Spork, and Twinkle Toes, DoubleMint Cum (a.k.a. Betty Cock-in-her), and probable some other poor souls that we rope into this.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Cost: $5 PER hash & $10 for showing up, or if you are doing all three, $25 and that includes the patch with the FINISHER attachment!

Bring: Hash Cash Shag bag (change of clothes). $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $15, Stickers $1, Patches $3 & $4, Socks $12, and a thirst for beer of course!
***BRING YOUR OWN DAMN LUNCH, WE'LL HAVE A COOLER!!!***

Rough *probably will change* schedule:
0600: Gather at Start Point
0601-1714: A TON OF SHIT
1715: Cheer on the Ironmen while they Run
????: Don't drive drunk, crash here!

D'erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Once we know the damn start point, we'll put dick'rections!

Sidenote: DETAILS TO CUM SHORTLY, JUST SAVE THE DAMN DATE!!!!!

So, to highlight the most important shit:
•Bring your own lunch!
•Bring like three changes of clothes and a towel!
•We are leaving at 6:40am SHARP, do not be late. Like seriously, if you have ever been on time for anything in your life, be on time for this. Plan on traffic for the IronMan, and give yourself time! Do not be that person who calls like "Oh, so sorry, can you wait for us? Traffic is sooooo bad." No! Bad!
•HYDRATE! Drink water before, this will seriously drain you - it's gonna be fucking hot!
•Figure out lodging. Plan on staying with other hashers at the Super 8 or make other arrangements. Other arrangements does not mean assume you can stay with Spork and Twinkle. :P
•Total cost for three trails, three circle, a patch, and transportation all around is $25. If you can't do all the trails, you suck. That's all.

Well there you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Twinkle Toes' #: (661) 342-1679
Dick Assley's #: (214) 502-6501
Flatline's #: (832) 431-6339

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Monday, April 06, 2015

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 136



When: Saturday, April 11th, at 3:00pm!

Where: Dueitt Middle School
1 Eagle Crossing, Spring, TX 77373

Hares: A Proper Woman, Vagineer, and first time hare Just Robert!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road and exit onto 1960 and go East. Go for about 2-3 miles, then turn left onto Treaschwig Road and go for another 2-3 miles, then turn left onto Eagle Crossing. PARK ALONG THE ROAD NEAR THE FENCED RUNNING TRACK.

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: Come one, come all, for Just Robert's Virgin haring! Lead by Vagineer's manly beard and A Proper Woman's tiny hands, this trail offers some pristine shiggy on a beautiful day! Expect some bugs, so wear some damn bug spray! Expect a chance of rain, so bring shit you don't mind getting wet and a change of clothes. Expect at least one home-brew keg, if not two, or even fucking three, all brewed by Just Robert! Plan on getting shitfaced in circle with a guest R.A. as Cocktor Spork will be with Where Do You Get Off in Omaha working on a documentary about the underground Gay Cowboy scene. Come out and enjoy an awesome trail before the weather starts getting shitty, shitty, shitty!

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
A Proper Woman's #: (713) 851-5262

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork