Thursday, February 26, 2015

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 133

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 133

When: Saturday, February 28th, at 3:00pm!

Where: CrossTracks Ice House

Hares: Fluffer & a Mystery Hare!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North and take exit 70A for Spring Cypress Road / Magnolia Street. LOOK FOR CONSTRUCTION EXITS! Turn right onto Spring Cypress Rd, Turn left onto Border St, Border St turns right and becomes Preston St, Turn left onto Elm St, Turn right onto Magnolia St. BOOM! This si where we have had our Green Dress Runs previously.

Sidenote: FROM THE HARE:

HARE(S) will provide:
•        Spellbinding trail guaranteed to make you hungry, itchy & thirsty
•        Enough BN's to keep you hydrated and alive to the end
•        Delicious & nutritious Brass Monkey’s
•        Recycled body bags

Things for YOU to do:
•        Expect hot weather -- really hot weather -- ice in your shorts will help, but allow for shrinkage
•        Prepare mobile I.V. to keep well hydrated while on trail (Set alcohol level < 3.2%)
•        Baste/Bathe in Ivy Block
•        Slather on Sunscreen, SPF 125 recommended
•        Anticipate bits of shiggy with spotted patches of pavement here and there: (just like the mange u get every year
•        Study your Houston Metro bus schedule, "just in case"

For more info or if you're lost or just plane stupid, call the the Hash Hotline at (832)-589-4590 & ask for Fluffer. (all calls are $19.95 per minute, excluding all taxes & other liabilities)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Friday, February 06, 2015

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 132



When: Saturday, February 14th, at **3:30pm!**

Where: North Picnic Lane,
Memorial Park,
Houston, TX
29.764827, -95.441407

Hare: Where Do You Get Off?

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM THE WOODLANDS: Take I-45 (or Hardy Toll Road) to 610-West. Take 610 West to exit 10A for Woodway towards Memorial Drive. Go east under freeway on Woodway Drive and turn right onto North Picnic Lane.

Sidenote: FROM THE HARE:

My dear brass monkeys,

Cupids arrow hath struck, and here we are to celebrate love in all forms and fashions, be it Spork's love for small Asians, Hoot's lust for D-batteries, EZ Chair's desire for homeless men in public restrooms, or Skeet Squad's burning fetish for pubes. Cum one, cum all, and cum one more time to the "Get Off has a Heart on trail!"

Join me, where do you get off?, on on through the memorial park area as we celebrate this day of "getting off!" I can promise you beer, I can promise you boobs, hell I can even throw in some burlesque and some sex toy prizes, but most of all you should be happy to spend the day with the people you love--the hash! So come share drinks and bodily fluids as we venture off into a memorable valentines day hash!

IMPORTANT: BE FESTIVE, WEAR PINK, WEAR RED, WEAR BLACK, WEAR SEXY LINGERIE, WEAR A COSTUME, WEAR A GIMP SUIT!

ALSO BRING YOUR WALLET/MONEY/ID WE WILL BE STOPPING AT BARS ON TRAIL!!

FUCK YOUZ,
Where Do You Get Of?

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork