Friday, September 23, 2016

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 174

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 174

When: Saturday, September 24th, at 3:15pm! ***NOTE THE TIME!!!*** Bar opens their gates at 3:00pm. Don't get there early,

Where: Eden's Landing, Spring TX.

Hares: Croc of Shit & Aryan Sisterhood

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $20, stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Exit East Cypresswood Drive off of I-45 and Eden's Landing will be on your right in about 8 miles.

Sidenote:
This will be a virgin lay from Croc of Shit and Aryan Sisterhood, so be prepared. Be prepared for a terrible trail, terrible markings, horrendous beer, and probably some German death marches.

Using excitement and lube to lead the way, these two have been heavy scouting over the past few days, and think they have come up with something terrible enough that they could be considered seasoned hares.

Frontnote:

Yes this will be a virgin lay and an all virgin trail so you know circle is going to be good. GUILTY!!

Cocktor claims to have been helping out but it's been nothing but platitudes and cum ons. Is waking up to "The early bird gets the Cocktor" texts supposed to be encouraging?

We'll be kicking off from Eden's Landing in Spring. A dive bar with some grub for when we're done.

Hope to see your beautiful (my opinion) and ugly (your momma's) faces on Saturday.

Cocktor Spork’s #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off?'s #: (281) 608-0004
Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork


Thursday, September 08, 2016

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 173 - Cocktor Spork's BIRFDAY Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 173 - Cocktor Spork's BIRFDAY Trail!

When: Saturday, September 10th, at 3:00pm! ***NOTE THE TIME!!!***

Where: 
H-E-B Spring Creek Market
3540 Rayford Road
Spring, TX 77386

Hares: Cocktor Spork & @ss Gagger

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $20, stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road North to the Grand Parkway (99), and go East (right). Go for only like a mile or two, then exit onto Riley Fuzzel / 99 feeder road. Take this until you hit the HEB on your right, it is just past Discovery Creek Road, on the corner of 99 and Rayford.

Sidenote: 
FROM THE HARES: 

To the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies

Come listen to a story about a boy named Spork,
Who just hit 30 years but he doesn’t eat pork.
So instead he laid a trail for the people he’d call a friend,
And tried to get them killed before they hit the very end!

With a special co-hare by the name of @ss Gagger,
Who drove in just for this with her b00bs on a platter.
You should just expect a trail that was laid by some drunks,
Who got lost out scouting just following some hunks.

There’ll be water and some shiggy and maybe even snakes,
And it’ll be warm so don’t expect snow flakes.
Just plan on coming out to drink and do a trail,
Then afterwards some of us will smoke and inhale!

So I’ll see you all this weekend if you wanna get shitfaced,
Virgin ending spot so hopefully we won’t get raped.
I’ll keep you all away from schools by 50 yards,
So you don’t end up in jail getting molested by the guards!

Questions? Comments? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry).

Cocktor Spork’s #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off?'s #: (281) 608-0004
Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork