Tuesday, August 28, 2012

VOODOO MONKEY - LAST FREAKING CHANCE!


OK, we are here… we are at the end of the waiting. VOODOO MONKEY 2012 is in, wait for it, JUST OVER TWO WEEKS!

That’s right, this Saturday is the 68th running of the Brass Monkey H3 and two weeks after that not only the 69th Brass Monkey hash, it is VOODOO FREAKING MONKEY!

Kegs tapped on Friday and drank till Sunday! Enjoy beer, Brass Monkeys, hash Olympics, camping, hashing, eating, gimmies, flip-cup, beer pong, keg war, you name it, it is freaking there!

Over 90 of you signed up so far, over a dozen different kennels from 10 different states! That is a lot of retarded people showing other retarded people how they do it in their hood. Thug life!

What do you need to know:

Where: General Sam’s, Huntsville, TX. (Fly into Bush Intercontinental (IAH) if you be far.)

When: September 14th – 16th, NEXT MONTH!

Why: Truthishly? Why? If you are asking why then you should not be attending this campout. You should be standing at home pretending you had a moustache wishing you were as cool as someone with a mustache. No mustache for you.

How Much: $79.00. We kept it low so more of you could go so hop to it and come enjoy awesomeness.

Deadline: You must, MUST, MUST sign up by this Saturday, September 1st, to get your personalized gimmies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gimmies, made for you. Not one size fits all t-shirts, shirts in your size, and other awesomeness, true awesomeness for you and all you wished in your gimmies-dreams.

What You Need: Bring a tent and shit to sleep in/on/under/whatever your kinky style is. Never been to a campout before? Cute. This will be fun. You can sleep in Spork’s tent. It smells like glaucoma medicine.

Got An RV?: Limited number of RV spaces available @ $30/night w/ water, electric, and sewer hookups! (Reserve w/ Shery at General Sam’s before 9/1/12 @ (832) 495-1046)

Are You A Redneck?: 4-Wheelers & Mud toys welcome! ($45 for the weekend to use WHOLE facility!)

Planning On Getting Dirty?: Showers and running water available at the facility!

THEMES?: I got your themes!
Friday: Ameri-camo ('Murrica and camo gear, Fuck Yeah!)
Saturday: Jungle Fever Safari (Either a Gay Porn title or some creative, possibly both)

Like Music?: Ladies and Gentlemen prepare yourself for the one, the only, Palatial Palace of Dancing Mayhem and Ridiculousness presented by Former Mr. Texas InterHash FUCK YOU KNAVE!! That’s right, FU Knave volunteered his services of amazingness and they will be freaking appreciated and enjoyed at VOODOO MONKEY! WOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!


So cum one, cum all, to VOODOO MONKEY 2012 TO HAVE SOME FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

0N-0N BITCHES,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 68 - THE PRELUBE TO VOODOO MONKEY 2012!


When: Saturday, September 1st at 3:00pm!

Where: Alden Bridge Park
7725 Alden Bridge Drive
The Woodlands, TX 77382 

Hare(s): Dr. Stinkfinger

Why: Because you like drinking period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag(change of clothes), $$ for haberdashery, Stickers $1, $12 for shirts, thirst for beer of course.

D'erections: From Houston: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road all the way till it hits I-45 and take exit 77 toward Lake Woodlands Dr/Research Forest Dr/Tamina Rd. Turn left onto Research Forest (First Light). Go 5 miles and turn right onto Alden bridge Drive. BOOM!

Sidenote: FROM THE HARE: 4.5 miles, beer stop, shiggy, water, pool and bbq on after. Dog friendly but bring a leash *for if there are any gingers there. Watch out for biting hookers on trail who are infected with an interesting colored rash. Bring bug spray, sun block, and small asians, they usually have small umbrellas to go with them. This will be our last Brass Monkey before VOODOO MONKEY 2012 WHICH IS TWO WEEKS AFTER THIS HASH!!! Not only will we be celebrating the amazingness that is VooDoo Monkey but it will be our 69TH HASH!!!!!! So come out and be awesome so we can talk about VooDoo Monkey while being in a pool and having a sexy party!

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Donnie The Retard's #: (832) 257-7052

0n-0n BITCHES,
COCKTOR SPORK!

*Might have been inserted (giggity) by Cocktor Spork. No homo.

Cocktor Spork

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

VOODOO MONKEY 2012!!!


YOU HAVE BEEN WANTING TO GO TO A HASH WEEKEND, YOU SAY.

YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO ONE AND HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT IT IS LIKE, YOU SAY.

PERHAPS YOU HAVE BEEN TO ONE BUT IT WAS A WHILE AGO, LIKE SINCE TEXAS INTERHASH, AND YOU NEED SOME QUALITY TIME WITH SOME FUCK-UPS LIKE YOU?

Did you know there is a hash campout in a FREAKING MONTH?!?! OMFG!!! Did you know that it is only an hour north of The Woodlands (North Houston)????!!!! Holyhellfireshittellusaboutitmotherfucker!

That's right! Your very own Brass Monkey H3 and your friends in retardation the VooDoo H3 present to you VOODOO MONKEY 2012!!!!!!

When: Friday, September 14th – Sunday, September 16th, 2012

Where: General Sam’s Offroad Park, 224 Bishop Rd. – Huntsville, Texas 77320

Cost: $79.00 – FOR NOW!

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO DO IT!

We already have over 80 people signed up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIGN UP NOW!

-Cocktor Spork