Wednesday, May 30, 2018

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 218 - Spork Breaks In the Hashlettes

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 218 - Spork Breaks In the Hashlettes

When: Saturday, June 2nd, at ***2:00pm!*** 

Where: Bear Branch Sportsfields
5205 Research Forest Drive 
The Woodlands, TX 77381

Hares: Cocktor Spork, Just Brett, and Just (Virgin) Mary

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead-ends into I-45. Take exit 77 toward Lake Woodlands Dr/Research Forest Dr/Tamina Rd. Go to your first light, Research Forest drive, and turn left. Go 3 miles and the park will be on your left. *Note* There is a Skatepark directly across the street, it's not that one, it's the big ass one on the left. Look for assholes.

FROM THE HARES: The heat has arrived, the sun is scorching, and I sure as fuck don't want to be in the sun very long. So, you can expect lots of fuckin shiggy. Hopefully. You know what Google Maps doesn't show? Fences. What else can you expect? Some gaddam water crossings! After that? A beer check with water, beer, and some little freezy-pops! Whaaaaaaaattttttttttttt – game changa! Trail should be somewhere between 3 – 4 miles, with falses, b00b checks, dick checks, and all kinds of other marks Heartache will no doubt miss when he shows up an hour and a half late. Co-haring alongside me will be two Brass Monkey babies, brought to us as virgins, now on their way to being official couch-fuckers. They have willingfully – that means consented – decided to go into the deep dark woods with I, Cocktor Spork, to learn the true Brass Monkey ways of haring. Our little Just Brett and Just (Virgin) Mary will cum ready to learn bright and early this Saturday, where they will no doubt be inserted with knowledge, filled with understanding, and be erected to the level of Brass Monkey hares – you won’t want to miss it! 

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork