Wednesday, July 27, 2016

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 170

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 170

When: Saturday, July 30th, at 4:00pm! ***NOTE THE TIME!!!***

Where: 
High Oaks Park
13100 Sawmill Rd.
(Street parking at Dead end of Sawmill)
The Woodlands, TX 77380 

Hares: Cocktor Spork, and at least one mystery hare!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $20, stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Head North on I-45 (or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into 45), take exit 73 (Rayford Rd./Sawdust Rd.). Turn left at your first light (Rayford/Sawdust) and go to the 4th light where Sawdust turns hard left past Burger King and before Starbucks. After turning left, go straight past first light and go to the second light, Sawmill Road, and turn left. Go allllll the way to the end, look for parking and hashers on the street. Don't park like a dick.

Sidenote: 
FROM THE HARES: Ladies & Gents, Boys and Girls, Castrated and other, I bring you the tiny-trail that could! Planned by Twinkle, hared by Spork (and a mystery slutty hare), this promises to be short, sweet, and light on diseases, which is more than can be said for some of the people we frequent with.

There will be at least one beer check, there will be water crossings, and depending on the rain, there may be a “Where’s a Jew to split the water” crossing. Bring a friend or two, and show them what hashing is all about! Expect shiggy, so wear your high socks, and expect to get dirty, so bring a change of clothes so we don’t have to smell your dirty ass in circle.

Cum beat the summer heat by drinking some cold beers with other likeminded people who also enjoy making fun of things they shouldn’t, hitting on people they shouldn’t, and trying to get through an event without getting breathalyzed! 

Questions? Comments? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry).

Cocktor Spork’s #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off?'s #: (281) 608-0004
Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork


Saturday, July 09, 2016

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 169 – The RA Gang-Bang!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 169 – The RA Gang-Bang!

When: Saturday, July 16th, at 4:00pm! ***NOTE THE TIME!!!***

Where:
Lazy River Road
Conroe, TX 77385
(30.208638, -95.402416)

Hares: Cocktor Spork, Where Do You Get Off?, and Donnie the Retard

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $20, stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 North to exit 79A toward College Park Drive/Needham Road/TX-242. Take the feeder all the way to College Park Drive/Needham Road/TX-242, and turn right. Go for 2-3 miles, and look for a dirt road-ish turn off past a couple buildings, actual street name is Lazy Rover Road. Drive to the Cul-de-Sac at the end.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Cum one, cum all, to a trail for the ages! Join Cocktor Spork, Where Do You Get Off?, and Donnie the Retard for a shiggy-tastic trail full of water crossings, thorns, and regrets, capped off by a circle led by all three hares! Make them drink, make them cry, make them remember a fuck ton of songs while simultaneously getting smashed!

Expect at least one beer check, some fucking hot weather, and some thorns that will make you bleed like you finally got to go on a date with “Jimmy-10-Inch” and find out why they call him “Jimmy-10-Inch”. It wasn’t because of his shoe size, let me assure you. It should be dog friendly, but there may be some pretty tough shit to get them through, so happy hunting if you decide to bring yours.

Since this is out 169th trail, expect some super-secret-surprises! Maybe we’ll throw it old school and bring some Manischewitz, maybe we’ll do a nod to our Kimchi roots and give people some herpes, maybe we’ll just hire a Harriette to hula-hoop while drinking a monkey and playing “The Cheese Stands Alone” on a mini-piano with her right foot.

Although the weather will be hot, expect us to bring some cold and refreshing things to the end to make it worth your while! Make sure to bring a change of clothes and such because you’re gonna be gross as hell when you’re done.

Questions? Comments? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry).

Cocktor Spork’s #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off?'s #: (281) 608-0004
Donnie The Retard's #: (832) 257-7052
Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork