Friday, August 25, 2017

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 198 - Cocktor Spork's BIRFDAY Trail & Hurricane Mile!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 198 - Cocktor Spork's BIRFDAY Trail & Hurricane Mile!

When: Saturday, August 26th, at 2:00pm! ***NOTE THE UPDATED START TIME***

Where: Spork's Spooning Spectacularium
28 Painted Sunset
The Woodlands, TX 77380

Hares: Cocktor Spork

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Float north on I-45 or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Exit 73 for Rayford/Sawdust road. Turn left. Go for a few lights until you get to where Sawdust turns hard left at the Burger King / Starbucks / CVS intersection. Follow that and turn at your second light, Sawmill Road. Turn left into your first subdivision, Sunset Springs - the street is Dreamweaver Circle. Go straight and look for 28 Painted Sunset on the corner of South Dreamweaver Circle and Pained Sunset. We'll be in the garage!

Sidenote:
Ok, so, fucking recalculating doesn’t even begin to describe the past 24 hours. Since Harvey, that piece of shit, has decided to come in and fuck with my birthday trail, we are going to tweak it, and enjoy this fucking rain. Naked rain dancing? Mehbeh. Splashing in puddles? You betcha. Attaching wire hangers to KatchUp? Most likely.

So, instead of laying a typical trail, we are having a BRASS MONKEY HURRICANE MILE! Now, I would like to have done this with actual Hurricanes, but apparently all the white people in The Woodlands are having hurricane parties, so all the mix and rum is gone. Fucking white people. So we will be doing a BEER mile, in the hurricane, with extra credit possible. I am still working out details, but plan on being wet, playing outside, and doing at least a mile of some kind of crazy shit.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off's #: (281) 608-0004
Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 197

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 197

When: Saturday, August 12th, at 3:00pm!

Where: Pundt Park
4129 Spring Creek Drive
Spring, TX 77373

Hares: CSI & Sucajawea

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road:


-From Hardy: Take Aldine-Westfield Rd exit toward East Louetta Rd. Turn right onto Aldine Westfield Rd, then Turn left onto Spring Creek Dr, Continue onto Deer Lake Trail, Continue onto Spring Creek Cir E, Turn right.

-From I-45: Take exit 68 toward Cypresswood Dr/Holzwarth Rd, Turn right onto E Cypresswood Dr, Turn left onto Aldine Westfield Rd, Turn right at the 1st cross street onto Spring Creek Dr, Continue onto Deer Lake Trail, Continue onto Spring Creek Cir E, Turn right.

Sidenote:
Come one, come all, for CSI's early BIRFDAY MEATFEST! Things to note: dog friendly. aiming for short, shiggy, moist experience. CSI's smoked meat for the pack's mouths will be available. Since it's Texas, expect something between 105° and hot as fuck, or pouring rain and 90° with a fuckton of humidity.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off's #: (281) 608-0004
Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork