Tuesday, June 24, 2014

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 115



When: Saturday, July 5th, at 3:00pm!

Where: Overcup Drive & Creekwood Drive Intersection,
Spring, TX 77389 (Near 30.110268, -95.539817)

Hares: Save a Horse (Ride a Mole), and CSI

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 North and take exit 70B for Spring Stuebner Road. Veer right towards Spring Stuebner Road, then continue on it when it takes you left under the freeway going West. Go for like 5 miles and turn right onto Kuykendahl Road and go for about 1.5 miles, then turn right onto Creek Wood Drive. Go a half mile then turn left on Red Oak Drive.

Sidenote: This will be an Independence Day celebration trail, where we can celebrate beer, b00bs, and butts, all hopefully on full display, cause ya know, 'Murrica. FROM THE HARES: This will be "live hared", we shall see. Muahahahaha. Expect 4-5 miles with at least THREE booze checks, including some Brass Monkeys! Shaded Virgin ending, 80% shiggy! It’s the day after 4th of July so wear your best Independence Day themed outfit and be ready for our rockets to shoot off up your ass.

Well, you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork’s #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141


0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Thursday, June 19, 2014

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 114 - BIRFDAY BIKINI TRAIL!


When: Saturday, June 21st, at 3:00pm!

Where: Backwoods Saloon
250 Lexington Drive
Conroe, TX 77385

Hares: Outside Cat & Red Light Special

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 or Hardy Toll Road until it hits I-45 and continue North until exit 81 for FM 1488 towards Lexington. Turn right onto 1488, go over the train tracks, then turn left onto Sherbrook Circle. Turn slight right and it will be on your left. We used to start here when it was called "San Jacento Gardens".

Sidenote: This will be a BIRFDAY run for Outside Cat and Red Light Special, w00t! Wear your birfday suits, or if you don't feel like pulling a full Dr. DooDoo, wear your bikini or bathing suit! Mannnnnnnnn, you'll need it. Expect shiggy, b00bs, beer, and a lot of drunken assholes! According to the hares, this is a BARE AS A DARE kind of trail, but what makes it really special? I'TS HUNTING SEASON! Either wear flesh color or bathing suits with some bright shit so you don't get shot. It's gonna be hot and buggy, so bring bug spray and some sunblock and you should be set!

Well, you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork’s #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141


0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork


Friday, June 06, 2014

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 113



When: Saturday, June 7th, at 2:00pm!

Where: Mooseknuckles
4307 Treaschwig Road
Spring, TX 77373

Hares: Easy Chair & Puddy Tat

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 or Hardy Toll Road to FM-1960, then exit and turn right (East). Go for about a mile and turn left on Treaschwig Road. Go for about a mile and Mooseknuckles will be on your left right past the creek.

Sidenote: This will be Easy Chair's Second AИAL Birthday Tubing, Flash Flood Warning, hopefully get to see a tiger in underwear again trail. Easy will be attempting to defend her title as the Brass Monkey's Worst Hare, and most likely, she will succeed. You can expect fierce shiggy, bugs and sun, and some overfilled river crossings. And by crossings, I mean you need to bring a flotation device because we're gonna be tubing on this trail, bitches! Seriously, have you guys seen this rain? It's amazing, and we're going to get to tube it! We might even dress KatchUp up like a little baby Moses and put him in a basket and send him down the creek. What else can you expect? Well, let's ask your hare!
FROM THE HARE: I know the pack is expecting this to be some sort of repeat of last year's shit show, but I've got a different route planned and the creek is moving a lot faster than last year!!! we have 2 shag cars but we really need:
1. an additional pump that can be plugged into a cigarette lighter in order to help inflate everyone's tubes in a timely manner and 2. a floating cooler for beer or sturdy net bag that can float or something. IF you're in possession of either of these things, let me know ASAP! if not, you're all blowing up your tubes with your bocas and only drinking what you can carry in your warm waterlogged laps.

Well, you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork’s #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141


0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork