Monday, February 19, 2018

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 211: Twinkle Toes' Birfday Campout & BMH3 8th Analversary!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 211: Twinkle Toes' Birfday Campout & BMH3 8th Analversary!

When: Saturday, February 24th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Big Woods Hunter Camps, Sam Houston National Forest
https://goo.gl/maps/BpH6pqRirWo
30.615562, -95.293890

Hare: Twinkle Toes

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston / The Woodlands:
Take I-45 North,
Take Exit 102 for Farm to Mkt Rd 1375
At the traffic circle, take the 1st exit onto FM 1375 E - 0.5 mi
Turn left onto TX-75 N - 0.1 mi
Turn right onto Gibbs St - 0.1 mi
Turn left onto FM 1375 E/Elmore St - 7.8 mi
Turn left onto Boswell Rd/Four Notch Rd - 0.7 mi
Turn right onto Forest Service Rd 200 - 4.3 mi
Turn right onto Forest Service Rd 207 - 1.9 mi
Turn left onto Forest Service Rd 202 - 2.1 mi
Campground will be on the left
https://goo.gl/maps/etniws4xbuq

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Trail will be tough, expect 4-6 miles of shiggy with manned beer checks/bail points.

Bring your own everything campout!
The campground is totally primitive, no water, no toilets, just a place for your tent.
You need to bring :
Trashbag
camping gear
Latrine shovel
food AND water
booze for after circle beer runs out!
Firewood!

Do not bring:
Large Bowie knives for sticking "scary" black dogs.
Drama

Remember, this is a public campground, we may not have it entirely to ourselves, behave accordingly!

IT'S A CAMPOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Thursday, February 01, 2018

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 210: Womb Raider & Dresses With Wolves' 21st Analversary Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 210: Womb Raider & Dresses With Wolves' 21st Analversary Trail!

When: Saturday, February 10th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Burroughs Park
9738 Hufsmith Road
Tomball, TX

Hares: Womb Raider & Dresses With Wolves

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 or Hardy Toll Rd North to TX-99 West to Küykendahl Road. Turn right/ north onto Küykendahl Road, and go for about 4 miles. Turn left onto Hufsmith Road and you'll run into the park. **Park in the FAR NORTHWEST SIDE of the park near the pavilion.**

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Cum celebrate our legal drinking age analversary! Whoo-hoo! Another year without murdering each other! Trail will be 3-4 miles and a mix of runnable trails, shiggy and a touch of pavement. Water crossings are a possibility. There will be one beer check. Much like our early years together drinking Big Jug 40s for $1.25, beer check will include cheap malt liquor of the Dresses with Wolves variety. Don’t worry there will be good craft beer too. I’m also baking homemade cookies for circle.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 209

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 209

When: Saturday, January 27th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: WG Jones State Park
(Southeast corner of FM 1488 and Jones Trail)
Conroe, TX 77384

Hares: Down Her Hatch and Just Tasha

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Take that to FM 1488 and exit then take it west. You will loop around and go over the freeway. Take that for a while and look for the State Forest entrance on your left on the corner of 1488 and Jones Trail. Carpool is best, the parking lot is a bit small.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: The trail is entitled "Conroe goes down (South)". Giggity.

Get ready for a shit fest of novice hares, but what we lack in experience, we'll make up for in enthusiasm, and craft beer.
There will be a big pot o' chili at the end as well as some satanic dancing and possibly b00bs. Come enjoy the beautiful weather before it gets back to fucking hot as hell, which is probably like a damn month away.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork


Friday, January 12, 2018

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 208

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 208

When: Saturday, January 13th, at ***2:00pm!***

Where: Hampton Pointe Blvd, Spring, TX  77389
(30.116302, -95.498367)! Neighborhood is currently being built so no exact address.

Hares: Penis First, Mouth Second & KatchUp

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $20), stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road North to the Grand Parkway (TX-99) then go west - that means left. Take 99 to Gosling and exit, then head north - that means right. Go about two miles then turn right on Hampton Pointe Blvd. Go all the way until it dead-ends, look for assholes.

Sidenote:
It is 2018, so let's get this shit rolling! As KatchUp is no longer allowed to lay trails on his own, or spearhead them for that matter, his new husband and roommate Penis First, Mouth Second will be leading this wild safari through the woods of the greater Woodlands/Spring area with his little KatchUp packet riding on his coat tails. Unbeknownst to them but knownst to us, this will no doubt be a shit show, but I will surely make them drink their down downs in excess to the point that we put them in an über and send them to a random crackhouse... assuming we find circle.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork