Saturday, June 22, 2019

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 246 - The Skeeting Penis Meowth Barfday Extra-Gava-Ganza!!!


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 246 - The Skeeting Penis Meowth Barfday Extra-Gava-Ganza!!!

When: Saturday, June 29th, at 3:00pm!

Where: Burrough's Park
9738 Huffsmith Road
*Farther parking lot / cul-de-sac
Tomball, TX

Hares: Outside Cat, Skeet Squad, and Penis First Mouth Second

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road to Grand Parkway (TX-99) and go West - that means left. Take the exit toward Kuykendahl Road. Turn right onto Kuykendahl Road, then turn left onto Hufsmith Road. Take that and it will curve to the left, then park will be on your right. Go in and take it until you hit the last park at the deadend. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Cum one cum all in your pants and with your party pants to the something'th annual Skeeting Penis Meowth Barfday Extra-gava-ganza!! The one time a year when you want to actually try, when you want to be first, when you try your damnedest to catch a penis and a pussy and some skeet at the same time!! This live lay will be hot, it will be wet, and it will be dirty. For the edge-play enthusiasts, there may also be blood. But by no means should you drink anything but aqua to prep yourselves because lick her there shall be and lick her you shall! We have nothing but the finest of live hare trails "prepared" for you to traverse, and diety help you if you actually catch us! Feel free to bring your floppy foamy noodle or flotationable sex toy of choice in the hopes that you might actually get to use it. If you actually find trail, if you actually make it half way, if you don't give up like a bunch of whiny... insert derogatory body part here... you will be thoroughly punished through the duration and possibly rewarded with cake near the end. I have the utmost of faith for everyone in attendance that this shitshow will be appreciated as much as the first coke can cock after a looooong line of vienna sausages. So open your minds, open your holes, and bring your fucking running clothes, it's time again to get laid.... Live. Good luck! Yer gonna knead it like a ballsack.

- Outside Cat, Penis First, and Skeeter Peter

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 245 - The Wombsterbaitor Express!


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 245 - The Wombsterbaitor Express!

When: Saturday, June 15th, at 3:00pm!

Where: Montgomery County Preserve Trailhead
(30.112081, -95.451869)
***Not exact address. This is the strip mall. ***
1043 Pruitt Rd.
The Woodlands, TX 77380
Google Maps: 4G6X+Q7 The Woodlands, Texas

Hares: Womb Raider & Dumpsterbaitor

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 N or Hardy Toll road until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 73 towards Sawdust. Use the far-left lane at Sawdust to U-turn onto I-45 S feeder. From feeder, turn RIGHT just past the Texaco onto Pruitt Rd. Go past Papas Icehouse to the stop sign at the T. Turn LEFT onto Pruitt road. Go for about 0.5 mile and turn LEFT just past the small strip mall. There will be a white sign with James Noack Montgomery County Preserve and Nature Trail Spring Creek Greenway on the corner. Parking lot is on the right. If you get to Gullo Park or the baseball fields you fucked up. Turn around and try again.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Haring felt so nice I’m doing it twice! Co-haring last trail with Spork was awesome. This time I get to hare with Dumpsterbaitor. YAY! This is another virgin end (I think) so we shall see if we get to meet new cops again. It’s the middle of June and it’s HOT! Time to spend some time in the creeks getting WET. Trial will be 3-4 miles with one manned beer check. There will be multiple water crossings. Trail will be all Shiggy with little to no pavement. I’m sure we’ll find some thorns out there so expect to bleed a little. As usual, I will bring some good craft beer. To cool you off at circle, I will also once again be using my sciencey skills to make BOOZY freezer pops. I’m sure Dumpsterbaitor will be bringing some yummy snacks too.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork