Wednesday, February 15, 2017

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 185 - Twinkle Toes' Birthday Trail & Brass Monkey 7th Analversary Campout!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 185 - Twinkle Toes' Birthday Trail & Brass Monkey 7th Analversary Campout!

When: Saturday, February 25th, trail at ***1:00pm!***
Feel free to show up early to setup camp before trail

Where: Big Woods Hunter Camps, Sam Houston National Forest
https://goo.gl/maps/BpH6pqRirWo
30.615562, -95.293890

Hares: Twinkle Toes & Super-Secret-Squirrel Co-Hare!

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for haberdashery (T-shirts $12), stickers $1, patches $3, thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston / The Woodlands:
Take I-45 North,
Take Exit 102 for Farm to Mkt Rd 1375
At the traffic circle, take the 1st exit onto FM 1375 E - 0.5 mi
Turn left onto TX-75 N - 0.1 mi
Turn right onto Gibbs St - 0.1 mi
Turn left onto FM 1375 E/Elmore St - 7.8 mi
Turn left onto Boswell Rd/Four Notch Rd - 0.7 mi
Turn right onto Forest Service Rd 200 - 4.3 mi
Turn right onto Forest Service Rd 207 - 1.9 mi
Turn left onto Forest Service Rd 202 - 2.1 mi
Campground will be on the left
https://goo.gl/maps/etniws4xbuq


Sidenote: FROM THE HARES:
Trail will be expeditionary style 6-7 miles of shiggy with manned beer checks/bail points.

Bring your own everything campout!
The campground is totally primitive, no water, no toilets, just a place for your tent.
You need to bring :
Trashbag
camping gear
Latrine shovel
food AND water
booze for after circle beer runs out!
Firewood!

Do not bring:
Large Bowie knives for sticking "scary" black dogs.
Drama


Remember, this is a public campground, we may not have it entirely to ourselves, behave accordingly!


IT'S A CAMPOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork


Tuesday, February 07, 2017

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 184

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 184

When: Saturday, February 11th, at ***2:00pm***

Where:
Timber Lakes Drive
Timber Lakes Timber Ridge Pool Area
The Woodlands, TX 77380
(30.138871, -95.493705)

Hares: Womb Raider and Just Joe

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $20, stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From Houston: Take I-45 or Hardy Toll Road north and take Exit 73 for Rayford / Sawdust Road. Take the feeder to the light and turn left on Sawdust Road. Take Sawdust until it turns hard left at the Starbucks / CVS corner; if you go straight, it becomes Grogan's Mill Road, no, don't do that. Once you turn left, go on Sawdust and it will turn you hard right, keep going straight past Wal-Mart, past Valero, all the way until it dead ends. Once it dead ends onto Glen Lock Road, turn right. Go for like 4-5 streets, then turn left at the 4 way stop onto Royal Oaks Drive. Go to the end. Turn left onto Timber Lakes Drive and you’re there.

Sidenote:
Get ready for Womb Raider's first trail of the year!! This known racist will most likely take you running through Montgomery County at record paces, quenching her thrust for the sweat of the weak. This hare is known for: setting traps in the forest to catch and use people in her research, laying falses so long that they would kill the average person, and hairy men. Expect one or all of those things, plus at least one beer check, and most likely some shiggy!

FROM THE HARES: To celebrate our 20th anniversary all I asked Joe for was to co-hare this shitty trail with me. No really its true … I am that easy. Trail will be 3-4 miles and is dog friendly. Expect the usual shiggy, thorns and water crossings. There will be at least one beer check with good craft beer. For circle expect some baked goodies along with the usual orange food. Depending on how nostalgic I’m feeling I might even wear my wedding dress to circle so feel free to dress Goodwill formal.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off's #: (281) 608-0004
Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork