BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 262 - It's All Downhill Up in Conroe

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 262 - It's All Downhill Up in Conroe

When: Saturday, February 8th, at 2:00pm!

Where: VIP Parking Area

Next Level Urgent Care Conroe

1246 North FM 3083 Road West

Conroe, TX 77304

Hares: Sorting Rack & Homoglobin

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag, warm clothes, bug spray, PI repellent (if applicable), $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 or the Hardy Toll Road until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 89 toward FM 3083/Teas Nursery Road. Use the left 2 lanes to turn left onto North FM 3083 Road West/Teas Road/Teas Nursery Road.  Go for about a half mile, and look for the start in a parking lot on the right just past Teas Nursery Road. Go to "VIP" Parking area.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

Ladies and Gents, come and join us for Sorting Rack's "Not So Dirty Thirty", as she turns 29 and still has no idea what real life is like.  They're so naïve and cute at that age.  But fear not, Homoglobin and all his wisdom will be co-haring with her, berating her the entire time about how her generation is ruining the world, laying plastic straws instead of flour from behind just to spite her.  Per the hares, trail is about 3-4 miles, expect shiggy, water crossings, and apparently "tight holes".  This better not be false advertising again, like that time with the boy scouts and the "half off" sale.  As usual, pack a change of clothes, and if you are bringing virgins, for the love of G tell them to cover their legs.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 261 - Croc of Aryan Maybe Gets Us Killed

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 261 - Croc of Aryan Maybe Gets Us Killed

When: Saturday, January 25th, at 2:00pm!

Where: *Under a Creepy Bridge*

Riley Fuzzel Road

Spring, TX 77386

Google Maps: 4JMX+JR Porter, Texas

(30.134616, -95.350272)

Hares: Aryan Sisterhood and Croc of Shit

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag, warm clothes, bug spray, PI repellent (if applicable), $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 or the Hardy Toll Road to to 99 East, exit Townsen Blvd, and stay on the feeder until you reach a U-turn underpass. Park next to assholes. Becomes Early Light Court. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARE:

Gather Round Shiggy Lovers it’s time for another croc of aryan’s specialty: fresh, homegrown, msg free shiggy. There will be less mosquitos (gotta leave room for the west side), there will be no hunters, there will be lots of holesum fun. Join us for a great trail with at least one beer check and circle beers provided by Eureka Heights Brewery.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 260 - KatchUp's Birfday Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 260 - KatchUp's Birfday Trail!

When: Saturday, January 11th, at 2:00pm!

Where: *Look for deadend*

Pathfinders Pass

Spring, TX 77373

(30.0620592, -95.3679998)

Hares: KatchUp

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag, warm clothes, bug spray, PI repellent (if applicable), $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take Hardy Toll Road to Aldine Westfield Road or take I-45 to Cypresswood (exit 68) from I-45 N.  Take Cypresswood east to James C Leo Drive, then turn right.  Turn left right away onto Breckenridge Dale Lane, then Breckenridge Dale Lane turns right and becomes Early Light Court.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARE: (Circus Noises)

Step right up, step right up. Listen to my tale of wonder about a trail hopefully not ruined by rain and thunder. It is I KatchUp your hare to be, laying a 4-5 mile trail of shiggy, you'll see. You maybe curious if water crossings will be present, if not, the plethera of Boob and Dick checks will be most pleasant. Your four-legged friends are welcome to cum, the pools of water will be oh so much fun. Ill leave you with this, this one little fact, there will be two beer checks not accompanied by Pabst.

*KatchUp is then shot out of a cannon*

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork