Monday, July 29, 2013

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 92


When: Saturday, August 3rd, 3:00pm!!!

Where:
33295 Wedgewood Drive (All the way to the dead end)
Magnolia, TX 77354

Hare(s): Where Do You Get Off? & KatchUp

Why: Because you like drinking period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash and shag bag (change of clothes). $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $15, Stickers $1, Patches $3 & $4, Socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course!

D'erections: FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it hits I-45 and exit 81 - FM 1488 Magnolia / Hempstead. Take the feeder to the bridge and look for the FM 1488 West sign that will take you under then over and around the freeway so you cross over it. Go straight for seven-ish miles. Pass Honea Egypt Road / FM 2978 and the La Quinta Inn and look for Wedgewood Drive on your right - just a regular small street. Drive alllll the way to the end of the street.

Sidenote: FROM THE HARES: Hey wankers and wenches! The next monkey is one not to miss! The 1st ever "Where Did KatchUp Get Off" trail is upon us! This glory-hole of a trail has shiggy, boobs, beer, shiggy, boobs, a scavenger hunt (with prizes), beer, and, against Spork's wishes, a runners trail option for you racist bastards, and beer. I know some of you are wasting time in bestiality land for Doggie Daze, butt if you are not, join us in all the glorious debauchery that is KatchUp and Get Off. Also... FRB gets their way with KatchUp for 20 minutes! All those that finish trail get to slap Off's ass (apparently?).

Well there you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
MasturGator's #: (936) 444-8591

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 91


When: Saturday, July 20th, 3:00pm!!!

Where: Cattail Park 
9323 Cochrans Crossing Drive
The Woodlands, TX 77381

Hare(s): Dr. Stinkfinger

Why: Because you like drinking period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash and shag bag (change of clothes). $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $15, Stickers $1, Patches $3 & $4, Socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course! BRING YOUR BATHING SUIT!

D'erections: FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or hardy Toll Road until it hits I-45 and exit 76B - Woodlands Parkway. Take Woodlands Parkway for about 6 miles then turn Right on Cochrans Crossing Drive. Go for about a mile and Cattail Park will be on your left.

Sidenote: Dr. Stinkfinger, in his awesomeness, will be haring this last minute because he loves the Monkeys and the Monkeys love him. Never been on a Dr. Stinkfinger trail before? This should be awesome... Expect the following: Shiggyyyyyyyyyyyy. Also, shiggyyyyyyyyyyyy. Also, water crossings, Poison Ivy (maybe, that shit be er'y'wherrr!), and general awesomeness. What should you expect at the end? A FUCKING POOL! Oh yes, the sweet, sweet pool at Chez Stinkfinger, this shall be glorious. Dr. Stinkfinger and his AWESOME wife will be doing a BBQ for everyone as well, no shit! You will be at their house so don't be an asshole. The backyard is huge, the pool is glorious, and the day shall be merry.

MAKE SURE TO BRING SUNSCREEN, BUG SPRAY, AND YOUR BATHING SUIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well there you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
MasturGator's #: (936) 444-8591
0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

BRASS MONKEY H3 RUN # 90


When: Saturday, July 7th, 3:00pm!!!

Where:
Pundt Park
4129 Spring Creek Drive
Spring, TX 77373

Hare(s): Donnie The Retard and ESPN

Why: Because you like drinking period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash and shag bag (change of clothes). $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $15, Stickers $1, Patches $3 & $4, Socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course!

D'erections: FROM HOUSTON: Drive north on the Hardy Toll Road. Take the Aldine-Westfield Road exit toward East Louetta Road. Turn right onto Aldine Westfield Road, then left onto Spring Creek Drive. Continue Straight and Spring Creek turns into Deer Lake Trail and goes right, follow with. Take road winding to the left into the park, once you go in go straight and there is parking on the right. Look for sluts.

Sidenote: Donnie & ESPN have returned from the clutches of mini-ginger parenthood and mommy and daddy monkey have decided to hold a trail to take out all their parental aggression... you know, that anger that breeders get when they breed. We're talking 90% Shiggy, tons of water, poison ivy, the whole thing, people, so bring your big girl pants. Don't worry, it's under 10 miles. Ha. It is dog friendly, and there is not a walker's trail. I don't know if you have seen these assholes but they are in really good shape so unless you can take a beating I would not recommend this shit. It's gon' be 95° so make sure to drink some water before you come get drunk with all these other assholes. Bring a change of clothes and $$$ for on-after. Don't do that shit where you say "I can't make trail but I want to come to on-after." No! Bad! You earn this shit! Bad!

Well there you heard it people, make it happen!

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
MasturGator's #: (936) 444-8591
0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork