Friday, April 26, 2019

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 242 - El Cinco de Monkey


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 242 - El Cinco de Monkey

When: Saturday, May 4th, at 3:00pm! ***NOTE THE START TIME!***

Where: George Mitchell Nature Preserve - Spring Creek Greenway
Flintridge Drive
The Woodlands, TX 77381
(30.163037, -95.517794)

Hares: Ivanna Hairy ButtChug, Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon, and Just Lizzy

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 76B onto Woodlands Parkway and go for about 3-ish miles. Turn left onto Gosling Road, then take your first right at Flintridge Drive. Go for just over a half mile, and the Nature Preserve will be on your left. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Even though TXIH is over, we are Monkeys and we are prepared to give you another shit show. This is a Cinco de Mayo trail. Expect several crossing of the Rio while bringing your asylum claims and stray niños/niñas. Time to honor our friends from the south by wearing your sombreros and ponchos. There will be a piñata check that may have some booze in it? and maybe some tequila?? Some of you will get the "worm". Expect 4ish miles and at least one beer check. Trail is dog friendly and A-A. Hash cash is 95 pesos. Bring your anti-ICE spray and tunneling equipment. Wall jumping socks are required.

On another sidenote, this will be Just Lizzy's virgin hare!! Coming to us with all kinds of enthusiasm and smiles, we'll see what this does to Just Lizzy, and what she does to us... Come help us make the virgin hare drink for all her crimes as we drink down alllllll the tequila. *quiver*

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork

Wednesday, April 03, 2019


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 240: The Hookers of Hashwick

When: Saturday, April 6th, at 3:00pm! ***NOTE THE START TIME!***

Where: Burroughs Park
9738 Hufsmith Road
Tomball, TX  77375
*At the dog park area*

Hares: Road Head, The Jersey Score, and Hot Ham Wallet

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road to Grand Parkway (TX-99) and go West - that means left. Take the exit toward Kuykendahl Road. Turn right onto Kuykendahl Road, then turn left onto Hufsmith Road.  Take that and it will curve to the left, then park will be on your right.  Go in and take it until you hit the dog park.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: One year and two weeks ago I was convinced to cum to what I believed was a chill day walking through the woods and smoking hash….and what turned out to be complete and utter bloody mayhem.

may·hem/ˈmāˌhem/noun:
violent or damaging disorder; chaos. synonyms: chaos, disorder, confusion, havoc, bedlam, pandemonium, tumult, uproar, turmoil, madness, madhouse, hullabaloo, all hell broken loose, wild disarray, disorganization, maelstrom, trouble, disturbance, commotion, riot, anarchy, destruction, violence "furious TV bosses watched stunned as the band created mayhem onstage"

This Saturday please join three virginish trail layers exacting revenge on a beautiful somewhat chaotic trail. Expect to get lost (thanks HHW), get bored, get scared, horny, tired, a bit of shiggy, little bit of water….aaaand…who the fuck knows what else. Weather says rain but again, who the fuck knows.

Super dog friendly.

Come to Burroughs Park go almost all the way to the pavilion and park in the parking lot before the pavilion – the dog park parking.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork