Wednesday, October 28, 2020

 

                     Talking food Scary ketchup 10 part 3 - YouTube




BMH3 #281 – 10/31/20: *Knock Knock* Who's There? KatchUp! KatchUp Who? KatchUp with me this Halloween

 

When: Saturday, October 31st

• Do Your Own Trail: "11am"ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm

• Manned Beer Check from 1pm - 3pm. This may be updated to an earlier time if hare can lay trail on friday. Check for updates friday night

 

Where: Rob Flemming Park. We all know the start location in our hearts by now. https://maps.app.goo.gl/TvadsjBtRCR4RqX69

Hares: KatchUp 

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

 

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

 

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.

 

 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: BOO! Now that the scariest part is over with let us delve
into the trail thoughts of KatchUp. This is going to be a most exciting trail that will have spooky sticks and streams of water that will scare even the bravest of Agoraphobic’s. There will be a beer check with only the worst of candy one could ever want to find in their pillow case. The beer will be top notch though. So come out, wear a white sheet as an impromptu ghost costume to scare any trail walkers. DO NOT WEAR A DUNCE CAP UNDER YOUR GHOST COSTUME!

 

FROM SPORK: Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em

Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em

With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven

Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

 

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.

 

 

NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):

 

• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.

 

• Trail will be A-to-A'.

 

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.

 

• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.

 

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

 

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

 

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

 

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

 

0n-0n Bitches,

KatchUp



Thursday, October 15, 2020

 




BMH3 #280 – 10/17/20: Peg Leg Hooker & Womb Raider!

 

When: Saturday, October 17th

• Do Your Own Trail: "11am"ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm

• Manned Beer Check from 2pm – ~5pm

 

Where: Forest Oaks Park 627 Cypress Oaks Dr. Spring, TX 77388

Hares: Peg Leg Hooker and Womb Raider

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

 

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

 

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.

 

 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail is in virgin Brass Monkey territory! Cum help us deflower an innocent park in Peg Leg Hooker's new hood! Trail will be about 3 miles with shiggy and some nice pleasant runnable stretches for you Racists. You know who you are… Water crossings will be shallow, muddy and NO swimming. We will have some good beer (and wicked awesome) at a manned beer check from 2-5 pm. Peg Leg Hooker will also be bringing snacky cakes of some sort.

 

FROM SPORK: Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em

Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em

With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven

Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

 

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accommodate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.

 

 

NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):

 

• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.

 

• Trail will be A-to-A'.

 

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.

 

• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.

 

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

 

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

 

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

 

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

 

0n-0n Bitches,

KatchUp


Thursday, October 01, 2020

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 279 - Croc of shit celebrates A. Sisterhoods birthday!

 



BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 279 - Croc of shit celebrates A. Sisterhoods birthday!

 

When: Saturday, October 3rd

• Do Your Own Trail: "12 pm"ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm

• Manned Beer Check. Check the FB page

Where: Plant # 7 RF

Riley Fuzzel Rd, Spring, TX 77386

https://maps.app.goo.gl/YzqgrjHHZop5uGc39

Hares: Aryan Sisterhood and Jake From Canola Farm

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

 

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.

  

Sidenote:

FROM THE TRES AMIGOS: Gathering trail deets from Aryan Sisterhood is quite the experience. Everyone should try it at least once. It's a grand mixture of confusion and hearsay full of forgotten Birthday trails and imaginary co-hares *cough* "Nappy Headed Homo". Perhaps senility is kicking in early from too many mind-altering substances in his youth/present? However in the spirit of Aryan with two whole days of planning we have a decent shot at a good shiggy trail in familiar territory with at least one beer check. If you don't already recognize the start location then I have to say this; bring your truck and strap on your muddin tires if it rains or park on the street.

 

FROM SPORK: Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em

Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em

With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven

Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.


 

At this time the Brass Monkey kennel will not be hosting any official in person circles and the virtual circles on Zoom are no longer happening. If the hares specifically announce that they would like to have a virtual circle then we will accomadate for them. Thank you and look forward to seeing my butthole on Zoom.


NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):

 

• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.

 

• Trail will be A-to-A'.

 

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.

 

• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.

 

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

 

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

 

• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

 

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

 

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

 

0n-0n Bitches,

KatchUp


 

Tuesday, September 15, 2020

BMH3 #278 – 09/19/20: Fourth Anal FLOCK YOU Hash!


BMH3 #278 – 09/19/20: Fourth Anal FLOCK YOU Hash!

When: Saturday, September 19th

• Do Your Own Trail: "12 pm"ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm

• Manned Beer Check from 1pm – 6pm

 

Where: George Mitchell Preserve Flintridge Trailhead

Hares: Dumpsterbaitor, Indiana Bones, Mouth Organ, Outside Cat and Womb Raider

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

 

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

 

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.

 

 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: For the 4TH ANAL Flock You trail(s) your Flock Leaders will be trying something a bit different to keep our flock properly drunk AND safe from fucking COVID. It might be a disaster but it WILL also be fun, boozy and full of bad decisions. There will be 3 (yes 3!!! The Robin (Orange), the Dove (White) and the Blue Bird (Blue)) trails 1.5 to 2 miles each laid in different colors of flour. ALL trail will end at a central Nest filled with Beautiful Birds, BEER, WATER so you don’t die, single servings of drunk worms and snacks. You are free to leave the Nest as many or as few times as you like. The rubber duckies from last year are back!!! Those who find a ducky get a special “PRIZE”. The Nest will be inhabited by us from 1 pm to 6 or 7 pm. We will have Brass Monkeys in the Nest for you when you finish your last trail (shared in a hygienic and socially distant manner). We also will be handing out a limited number of 2019 Flock You patches at the end of trail to those who would like one (first cum first served). We will post a brief chalk talk Saturday morning (likely somewhere between 11 am and Noon) when trails are ready for the early birds.

 

FROM SPORK: Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em

Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em

With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven

Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

 

We will still do virtual circle at 7:00pm, with the link to be posted sometime 30 minutes – 1 hour before on the Brass Monkey FB event.  Your special guest RA will be WHERE DO YOU GET OFF?!?  That's right!  Straight from the small island of Boanire and it's ONE effing COVID case, Get off and Red Light Espcial will delight you with the songs of their people.  That’s all we’ve got.  Make good decisions out there.

 

NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):

 

• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.

 

• Trail will be A-to-A'.

 

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.

 

• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.

 

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

 

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

 

• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

 

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

 

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

 

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

 

0n-0n Bitches,

KatchUp


 

Wednesday, September 02, 2020

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 277 - "C̴̫͎͇͛͘͝o̴͕̻͎̕͘͠c̸̟̪͚̔͋̿k̵̡͒̓̕͜͜t̵͖̞̫̽̓̓ò̴͖̺̻͑̈́r̵̡͍͓̾̈́͝ S̴͎̟̠͑͑͒p̵̫͇̠̀̒o̴̢̪͚̐͑r̵͖͖͉̿́͝k̵̟͚̞̈́̔̕" Brings the Cali Goodness

WhenSaturday, September 5th
• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from 12-3 pm

Where79 Thorpe Ln, Spring, TX 77389
https://goo.gl/maps/h4NjyjdwdASzY7s28
30.092880, -95.452299

HaresDid Spork really leave his legal weed and beautiful beaches to hare this trail, maybe, maybe not, only one way to find out!
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into Google and get your own directions.


Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Trail will be between 1 and 10 miles. There is good potential for water crossings in this lush thick shiggy. The beer checks have been making a come back on past trails and I hope to not disappoint with this trail. Dog friendly if you want to bring your fun little one(s) This has been approved by me, Sporky. Surprise everyone, I am back in town.

FROM SPORK: Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

We will still do virtual circle at 7:00pm, with the link to be posted sometime 30 minutes – 1 hour before on the Brass Monkey FB event.  Your special guest RA will be WHERE DO YOU GET OFF?!?  That's right!  Straight from the small island of Boanire and it's ONE effing COVID case, Get off and Red Light Espcial will delight you with the songs of their people.  That’s all we’ve got.  Make good decisions out there.

NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):

• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.

• Trail will be A-to-A'.

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.

• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork

Thursday, July 09, 2020

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 273 - Ivanna & Indiana's 7th 11th Heaventh


BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 273 - Ivanna & Indiana's 7th 11th Heaventh

When: Saturday, July 11th - 7/11, BITCHES!
• Do Your Own Trail: "11:00am"-ish (Read Below!) - 4:69pm
• Manned Beer Check from 2:00pm - 4:00pm

Where: Carter Park
7221 Treaschwig Rd,
Spring, TX 77373

Hares: Ivanna Hairy Buttchug & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 N or Hardy Toll Road to FM 1960.  Turn right, and go for like 2-3 miles, then turn left on Treaschwig Road. Go for about 4 miles, then enter the park on yout left as it turns hard right. 

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:  Well here we are on the middle of hot season bringing you sweat, mosquitos and horse flies. All the best Texas can throw at you. Your hares have brought you a traditional brass monkey trail, lots of shiggy, thorns and water crossings. Trail will be 4 ish miles. Mostly shaded with many water crossing to cool you off. Bring water! There will be a manned beer check from 2-4 with slushees and craft beer to quench your thirst. Bring your friends, your dogs, your compass and your thirst for adventure.

Side note: there is a gun range near the park. Don't worry we did not whore you out as targets!

FROM SPORK: Shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em up, shake 'em
Roll 'em in a circle of Monkeyz and watch me break 'em
With the seven, seven-eleven, seven-eleven
Drinkin' all these 40s, we ain't goin' to heaven.

We will still do virtual circle at 7:00pm, with the link to be posted sometime 30 minutes – 1 hour before on the Brass Monkey FB event.  Your special guest RA will be WHERE DO YOU GET OFF?!?  That's right!  Straight from the small island of Boanire and it's ONE effing COVID case, Get off and Red Light Espcial will delight you with the songs of their people.  That’s all we’ve got.  Make good decisions out there.

NOW, READ THIS (UPDATED 07/09/2020):

• The hares will lay the trail on SATURDAY MORNING, so don't do it until after THEY SAY YOU CAN START ON SATURDAY MORNING when they are halfway done. If you would like to do the trail on your own, go between that time and dark. And don't run, you racist piece of shit.

• Trail will be A-to-A'.

• There will be no in-person check-in, no hash cash, and no one accountable for you except you.

• Due to Corona virus making a comeback there will be no group start time.

• If you are doing trail, we request you check in on the event page and say, “Hey, I’m doing this shit, hopefully I won’t die, my cell phone number is…” We’re putting some trust in you on this one, which I’m sure we’ll regret, but we are going to give it a shot nonetheless.

• The hares have been instructed that trail “Will need to be simple enough people can do it on their own, but it isn't going to have killer water crossings that someone will face alone, but there must still be shiggy!” Given who the hares are, we’ll hope they don’t fuck that one up.

• Circle will be virtual on Saturday night at 7pm. We will post the link to it on the trail info. In order to attend circle, you need to have a drink in hand and not wearing pants. Okay, that last part is optional, but really, why not?

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,
Cocktor Spork