BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 265 - Spork & Cum-Puss' Analversary Trail!
When: Saturday, March 21st, at 3:00pm! *NOTE DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME CHANGE*
Where: High Oaks Park
13100 Sawmill Road
The Woodlands, TX 77380
Hares: Cocktor Spork & Cum-Puss
Why: Because you like drinking, period.
Bring: $5 for hash cash (ELECTRONICALLY!) , shag bag, warm clothes, bug spray, PI repellent (if applicable), $$(ELECTRONICALLY!) for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.
From Houston: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road to I-45 and exit 73, Rayford Road / Sawdust Road. Turn left at the light onto Sawdust Road. Go like 4-5 lights to Sawmill Road, then turn left. Go to the dead-end, loop around, and park next to the park on the street.
Sidenote (FROM THE HARE): In 2006, at a Goodwill store in Southern California, Cocktor Spork & Cum-Puss met, and knew they needed to start pounding. And now, 14 years later, they are celebrating the fact that they still do, and don't yet hate each other! Cum out and celebrate with a short, 2-4 mile-ish trail; trying to keep it on the lower end, but once I get into the shiggy who knows what can happen. One beer check, all shiggy, space yourselves out accordingly. Circle is going to be spread out, snacks will be individual, and we're only going to take ePayments. Things are going to be different, but we're still going to be offensive - possibly even more so since we've all been pent up inside.
Side Sidenote: Because of life and current events, please read through this shit and make sure you understand. Do not come if you know you should not. Seriously.
BEFORE THE HASH:
● If you have recently been traveling, if you’ve been in/around/near someone who may be contaminated, if you work in an industry where catching something could really fuck your world up, or if you – for any reason in your adult brain – think it might not be a good idea for you to cum, don’t. Please. Just don’t. Don’t ruin this for everyone.
● Stay as healthy as possible. I know it sounds stupid, but seriously: wash your hands, bathe regularly, don’t be gross. Ew.
AT THE HASH:
● We aren’t going to take paper money, or cash as the kids call it. You will only be able to pay electronically via PayPal, Zelle, or some other eShit like that. If you don’t have an account, cool, pay someone at the start who is okay with doing it for you. Less touching of things that others have touched the better. *Insert monkey laundering joke here*
● Snacks will only be what is available in the small individual bags, vending machine style. At this point, there could be nothing but off-brand Doritos left, we’ll see, but we will not be using the larger shareable snacky cake bags.
● We will not be sharing Monkeys. Fucking duh. We will have Monkeys, and we will have individual mini-OJs; (1) Monkey + (1) Mini-OJ = (1) Person’s Monkey. Since we don’t know how many of you will be there, depending on numbers not everyone may be able to get one. Sucks, I know. If you are worried about it, pull a Vagineer and bring your own.
● Social distancing. It’s a thing. Circle will be spread out to give everyone their own space. We are not a large enough kennel to have multiple trails or circles, so we will work with what we’ve got, but be as safe as possible while doing it.
● Since the antibodies to the Coronavirus are probably in the FRB helmet, and we wouldn’t want to deprive anyone of the chance to earn some health points, we’ll just fill it with a beer of the FRB’s choosing and they can take it to the dome. Otherwise, they can shotgun a beer. They are getting punished one way or the other.
What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141