BMH3 #396 – 3/29/2025: 🐦 Goose’s Birthday Trail: Twice the Water, Twice the Regret 🐦

 

 

 

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BMH3 #396 – 3/29/2025: 🐦 Goose’s Birthday Trail: Twice the Water, Twice the Regret 🐦

When:

Saturday, March TwentyNinth TwentyTwentyfive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

Where:

30.00034527391169, -95.53189054600269
Otherwise referred to as the Stub-Out Road attached to the parking lot of the Chase Bank located at:
8421 Cypresswood Dr,
Spring, TX 77379
https://maps.app.goo.gl/kBQnJQdyrYgthFLt6

Hares:

Fuck Fuck Goose

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
🐦 Goose’s Birthday Trail: Twice the Water, Twice the Regret 🐦

Listen up, you pack of dehydrated degenerates! This week’s trail is a celebration of Goose’s birthday, and in true half-mind fashion, we are honoring it with questionable decisions, mysterious mileage, and more moisture than your last date. That is right—you might get to swim twice: once on trail (surprise water crossing? flooded trail? Goose’s tears?) and again at a Pool On-After. Hydration is mandatory. Drowning is optional.

🎉 THE OCCASION:
Goose has survived another trip around the sun without being banned from trail, arrested (publicly), or declared legally deceased. Let us gather to pretend we like him, drink in his honor, and yell "ON-ON" like it means something.

🦆 THE TRAIL:
Maybe 3 miles. Maybe 10. Maybe it loops. Maybe you are the loop. Goose scouted it with one eye closed and a beer in hand, so bring your sense of direction and lower your expectations. Might have shiggy. Might not. Might be flat. Might be vertical. Might be a metaphor for life. Who knows? Who cares?

💦 POOL ON-AFTER:
Cool down your trail-stank in Goose’s pool.
🔥 BYOM – Bring Your Own Meat to grill
🍻 BYOB – Bring Your own Beverages
🍪 Some snacks may be provided, depending on how much Goose actually cares on Saturday
👙 Suits required – Yes, this is not your nudist colony fantasy. Goose’s spawn will be home.


Come out and celebrate our favorite feathered freak. You will sweat, you will swim, and you might survive. But either way, you will leave wetter, louder, and probably more confused than you arrived.

ON-ON, ya filthy animals!

From Misman: TRAIL STARTS AT 3PM!

Bring:

WATER, IT IS GETTING HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

 

 

BMH3 #395 – 3/15/2025: Brass Monkey's 69th Analversary Green Dress Run!!

Trails available in May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

BMH3 #395 – 3/15/2025: Brass Monkey's 69th Analversary Green Dress Run!!

When: 

Saturday, March Fifteenth TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 1:00 PM show, 1:30 PM Go

Where:

Montgomery County Preserve Trailhead
Off of Pruitt Rd, The Woodlands
30.112237,-95.451832

https://goo.gl/maps/6r4dcwmQTx7pzmUu8

Hares:

101 Donations
Save a Horse (Ride a Mole)
Just Jude (Our Virgin Hare!)

From The Hares:

It’s been 10 years since 101 Donations and Save a Horse (Ride a Mole) hosted a Green Dress Run during their Wedding Campout Extravaganza. This time, they’re dragging some fresh meat into the mix—our very own Virgin Hare, Just Jude!

Expect 4.69 miles of pure Brass Monkey trail magic, with 2 Bier checks to keep you moving. The 1st Bier check is at a bar, so bring some cash and try not to soak it before you order a drink. The 2nd Bier check? Who knows—probably a swamp, a ditch, or some other questionable choice.

Trail will be shiggy, as expected (expectations kept low as usual), and water crossings will be plentiful. So, if you want to keep your Green Dress pristine, maybe bring a backup. Or don’t. We don’t judge.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS Not cold anymore!

Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.

Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D'erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns?

Sorry, can’t hear you. (P.S. We’re still not sorry.)

Signal Group: Join the Madness
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp’s #: (817) 235-6141

On-On!
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #394 – 3/1/2025: Womb Raider and Indiana Bones!

 

Trails available in May! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

 BMH3 #394 – 3/1/2025: Womb Raider and Indiana Bones!

When:

Saturday, March First TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

That parking lot at the dead end of Old Riley Fuzzel Rd.
30.09344365472669, -95.40542051117569
https://maps.app.goo.gl/bcthLy6QYQfL3esV7

Hares:

Womb Raider
Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Months ago, I had fantasies of exotic virgin trails for my Birthday. As the time closed in, I realized that I was inherently lazy and would rather drink and nap than scout. Expect a pleasant jaunt through familiar territory punctuated with possible water crossings and at least one manned beer check with good beer and hard seltzers. Probably no shot checks because I’m old “now” and that shit gets dangerous. But hares lie and Indiana is my co-hare so who knows. Trail will be at least 3 but less than 5 miles.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS Not cold anymore!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

BMH3 #393 – 2/15/2025: Brass Monkey 15th anniversary and Twinkle Toes Birthday campout!

When:

Saturday, February Fifteenth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 1PM show, 1:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:

TRAIL and camping:
Double Lake Hunter camp on NFSR 220
Forest Service Rd 220, Coldspring, TX 77331
30.5331790344169, -95.13466434168369
https://maps.app.goo.gl/sL1SAkKX35KajKNB7

Hares:

Twinkle Toes

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
Pack will DEPART AT 1:30!!! Don't be late!
Trail will be 4-6+ miles of glorious National Forest SHIGGY!  Expect regular shiggy, muddy shiggy, thorny shiggy!

CAMPING: For the on after, we will be CAMPING!!!!! After circle beer runs out and hash snacks are gone, you're on your own! Bring Your Own EVERYTHING! You'll need to take care of yourself until you can pack up and leave sunday morning! That means bring FOOD, WATER, BEER, and your POOP SHOVEL!
I highly recommend arriving a bit before trail and setting up your camp before trail. You can come as early as you want, even Friday!
These campsites are primitive, as in bring a poop shovel primitive!
It's looking like its going to get chilly Saturday night, so stop on the way to grab some firewood! either a couple bundles from the hardware store, or random places on the way to camp.

Bring:

WATER, you're camping and running, you'll get thirsty!
FOOD you have to feed yourself dinner, and maybe breakfast depending how fast you leave Sunday.
BOOZE, circle beer won't last all night
FIREWOOD
SHELTER
POOPSHOVEL!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
Twinkle Toes Signal ID: JamesS.42
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

BMH3 #392 - 02/01/2025 - Homoglobins Third time's a charm? trail

 

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 BMH3 #392 - 02/01/2025 - Homoglobins Third time's a charm? trail

When:

Saturday, February First, Twenty Twentyfive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• One Manned Beer Check!

Where:

Burroughs Park Pavilion
9738 Hufsmith Rd, Tomball, TX 77375 - and drive all the way to the pavilion in the back
30.13811394581269, -95.57557074460769
https://maps.app.goo.gl/XceBYR8nstCSf3yx9

Hares:

Homoglobin

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES:
3.5 miles
Park in the furthest north spot by the pavilion(usual spot)
Weather should be fantastic!
Nothing more and never less!
One beer check.

Bring:

WATER, IT might not be cold
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

Brass Monkey #391 01/18/25 Penis Fly Crap's 18th Hashiversary

 

 

 

Trails available in March! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #391 01/18/25: Penis Fly Crap's 18th Hashiversary

When:

Saturday, January Eighteenth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

Actual START: 20504 Fourier Drive, New Caney, TX 77357
Plug address into APPLE MAPS, google doesn't have this address yet!
30.157686035228569, -95.29230170368169
Enter Porter's Mill Subdivision on Miller Heights Drive, and find your way to the pin.

For navigation purposes, go here, and keep driving south on Miller Heights Dr. looking for hashers.
30.163552213737503, -95.29207316795329
https://maps.app.goo.gl/JRLEW2fcSBip49pm8

Hares:
Penis Fly Crap

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Cum on out and celebrate 18 years of hashing with Penis Fly Crap.  You'll get a 3-5 mile trail,shiggy, a beer check, and waist high water crossings.  

Bring:
probably a change of warm clothes!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Get on 69 N
Take exit 159A toward FM 1485/New Caney
Take a Left onto 1485 N for 2.2 miles
Take a Left onto Gene Campbell Rd for 3.1 miles
Run Left onto Miller Heights Dr. for .6 miles
When you reach the fresh construction, look for hashers



Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-

 

BMH3 #390 – 01/04/2025: KatchUps Birthday Extravaganza

  

 

We need hare for 1/18/25! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

 

 

 

BMH3 #390 – 01/04/2025: KatchUps' start the year off wet trail

When:

Saturday, January Fourth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go

Where:

819 Timor Ln, Houston, TX 77090

https://maps.app.goo.gl/oKMGwxzVVyvEtK3k8
30.031972249684944, -95.45239987801945

Hares:

Ask Me Something Personal & KatchUp

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 

I would like to welcome everyone into the New Year with another amazing Birthday Trail. This years trail will have water, those backward facing thorns and a random ass dog sleeping in a decrepit, school? Yes that's right, I got all the things planned for this trail. It will be 3-5 miles in length with one water crossing so bring warm clothes for circle. I will be providing hot cider again this year so the water crossing should feel nice. I would say it's dog friendly but we do get close to some properties that aren't well fenced off and they do have dogs on property so be forewarned.

Bring:

HOT COCOA, IT IS COLD!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141
0n-0n,
-=Titty McGee=-