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BMH3 #408 - 09/13/2025 - Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones' 69th AИAL Birfday Trail!
When:
Where:
Hares:
Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES:
Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, it is that glorious time of year again. That’s right, it’s the 69th AИAL Cocktor Spork & Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon BIRFDAY Trail, and we’re back to ruin your shoes, your liver, and your last shred of dignity. What can you expect? Some stuff we will plan, and a lot of shit we absolutely will not, but will just fucking happen. We are laying about five miles, mas o menos, of beautiful shiggy where you will get wet and probably lose a sock. Or your butt virginity. Shhhh, just let it happen. You will go through water. Also, it has never not rained on our birthday trail, so yeah, expect that shit. One year a hurricane tried to raw dog the city and we still did trail. Bring your big kid attitude and don’t be a bitch. So bring a damn change of clothes. And a bathing suit! (We’ll get to that, hold please)
There will be one beer check with premium drinks. And by premium, we mean stuff you cannot get in Siberia, unless your cousin is sleeping with a customs agent. Prost or whatever the fuck they say in Russian. Hydrate like you actually care about living, because it is September, and the heat will slap you like you owe it money. This is A to A prime, so when we finish, you can stagger a few feet and collect your junk without crying about a carback. There is also a pool on-after! YAY! Shock and awe! The crowd goes wild! It is BYO drinks, AND A BATHING SUIT, AND A TOWEL, so plan ahead! If you don’t because you are KatchUp or something, there is a liquor store about a mile from the pool on-after. They don’t sell towels or bathing suits. You can also hit a gas station if you enjoy making poor life choices in fluorescent lighting. There will be foooooooood! But seriously, bring your own fucking drinks and a towel. For your drive home, there are jeans for rent. Inquire within.
The trail is close to the pool on-after, so coordinate with your homies, split a ride, or call an Uber so you can combine bad decisions with questionable hydration. See you assholes out there! You will not want to miss it, and if you do, we will talk shit about you. And if you do make it, we’ll also talk shit about you, but to your face. Kthxbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
Bring:
- WATER, IT IS HOT!
- Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own.
- Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.
- A Towel, a Bathing Suit, and beverages for the POOL ON AFTER!
- Why: Because you like drinking, period.
