BMH3 #415 – 12/20/2025: The Third Anal Moon Over Monkies (MOM ™️®️©️) Trail!!!

Sign up to be a hare in 2026… You know you want to! https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH3

 

BMH3 #415 – 12/20/2025: The Third Anal Moon Over Monkies (MOM™️®️©️) Trail!!!

 

When: 

·         Saturday, December Twentieth, Twenty-Twenty-Five

·         7PM Show, 7:30PM Go

·         Manned Beer Check!

 

Where: 

Tupelo Park

240 West Tupelo Green Circle, The Woodlands, TX  77389

30.147757, -95.530644

4FX9+7X Spring, Texas

https://maps.app.goo.gl/FZUBfXeJqvWkcaJs6

***It is all street parking, look for assholes***

 

Hares: 

Cocktor Spork & Womb Raider 

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Welcome to the final Brass Monkey trail of the year!  You have waited patiently, you have stood by with antici…………………………….pation, standing fast for this moment.  Now, it is here.  That’s right.  The waitlist for your mom is over.  This year’s MOM (Moon Over Monkies) Hash has FINALLY arrived.  Your hares, Cocktor Spork and Womb Raider, aka Cocktor Womb, aka Spork Raider, aka Womb Spork… wait, that sounds like you are trying to end a pregnancy.  Well, in this economy, can you blame us?  Anywhooooo, your hares will take you through an evening-time urban run (with a dash of shiggy), to look at all the holiday lights.  Think of a sort of, “Lights In The Heights”, but it’s in The Woodlands, so it’s actual rich people.  We will attempt to mix in a bit of shiggy, so bring a headlamp, or a candle, or a lighter, or something else that makes light.  You can expect one manned beer check, and probably a fully grown man dressed as some kind of furry.  May as well explore a new kink before the end of the year!  Don’t miss our final trail, and use this is an excuse to get out of your house on a Saturday night while all your in-laws are in town!  (Last minute Xmas shopping, works every time).  See you there, assholes!!

 

Bring:

·         WATER, IT IS not cold yet!

·         Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 

·         Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle. 

Why:

Because you like drinking, period. 

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spork?  Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Signal Group: https://tinyurl.com/BMHHH369 

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n, Bitches -
Cocktor Spork

  

 

 

BMH3 #414 – 12/06/2025: Buy Fellatio from KatchUp

When: 

Saturday, December Sixth, TwentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 12PM show, 12:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check?

Where:  

607 E 35th St, Houston, TX 77022
Start is Independence Heights Park, West side

29.81838596978569, -95.39089626199969 

https://maps.app.goo.gl/P6hZnBrL9Yr9wAke8

Hares: 

Buy Fellatio

KatchUp

Sidenote: TAKE NOTE OF THE EARLY 12:30PM PACKS OFF TIME

FROM THE HARES: I would like to welcome everyone to the first joint running of a Brass Monkey/H4 Christmas Bonanza. For those that only read this blog and nothing related to H4, we are hashing down in Houston to rid ourselves of a "hangover" from the Brass Monkey Christmas party and to celebrate with the H4 Christmas party. The trail will be NAUGHTY and nice with a possible beer check. I am one of the hares writing this and have no details of how trail will be, bask in my amazingness. 

For the losers who have a hangover and cannot make the trail here are the details for the H4 Christmas party.

Theme: The Final Confirmation: Bless Me RA for I Have Hashed

Outfit Ideas:

Come dressed for your Final Confirmation—nuns, priests, choir robes, altar boys, angels, devils, or anything “holy but horny.” Bonus points for divine chaos.

Your rite of passage includes:

Dinner & Snacks

Beer & Cocktails (n/a drinks, too!)

Dancing & Revelry

Blasphemous Keepsakes 

Awards & Hashy Blessings

Private Boudoir Photography Station

Saturday, December 6 @ 6 p.m.

2515 Waugh Dr, Houston, TX 77006

Bring:

JACKET, it is getting fucking COLD!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle. 

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,

Katchup 

-=Twinkle Toes=-  

 

BMH3 #413 11/22/2025 Short Cummingz and Outside Cat

 

 

 

We Need a Hare for December 6 trail, it'll be easy, we'll all be hungover from the holiday party! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #413 – 11/22/2025: Short Cummingz and Outside Cat

When: 

Saturday, November TwentySecond, TWentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where:  *** Drive to this location and head EAST on Mulligan Drive until you see a bridge, look for assholes

Mulligan Dr & Honea Egypt Rd ->Then go east until you see a bridge
30.258758440466969, -95.57877846073669
https://maps.app.goo.gl/f7U5UtfeWehMj24E9

**If you  try to get on Mulligan from the Fish Creek Thoroughfare and head west, you're gonna have a hard time.

 

Hares: 

Short Cummingz

Outside Cat

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Short Cummingz and Outside Cat take you on a trail with a bridge to nowhere. Double digit month, Double digit day, Double the fun.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS not cold yet!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

 

December 5th 2025 - Brass Monkey Holiday Party

2025 BRASS MONKEY HOLIDAY PARTY!!!! 

 

 When: December 5th 2025 7pm

Where: 86 Sunilt Grove st, The Woodlands TX 77382

30.212817345025169, -95.52400173815069

https://maps.app.goo.gl/yhPSnBYsnEJ4fbFN9 

 

Jingle Bells, Your Mom Smells,

But She Still Puts Out.

I Just Looked, She’s Double-Booked,

Let’s Give Your Dad A Shout, HEY!

Ok guys, gals, and non-binary pals, that time of year has cum!  The time where the big man cums in your chimney and sticks his package in your footwear or in your bush. No no, Epic Fail’s home confinement hasn’t been lifted yet, I’m talking about Ivanna Hairy Buttchug!  Him and his dependable lady in crime, Indiana Bones and the Temple Of Poon, will be hosting our AИAL Brass Monkey Holiday Party!  That’s right!  We only had one arrest and two children conceived last year, so this time, we’re in it to break some records, and possibly some butt virginities.

So what do you need to know?  Well, a lot of shit.  But for this party, not so much.

You should bring:

·         A Caucasian Elephant Gift (Nothing fancy, this is not an African American tie affair).  $15 max, wrapped, for a gift exchange!

·         A tallboy for our famous Tallboy Roulette ©™®.  Paper bags provided for class; bad decisions brought by you.

·         A bathing suit and a FUCKING TOWEL!  That’s right, this shit ends in a pool.  BUT, you assholes have to bring a fucking towel because too many have been ruined or stolen from Buttchug & Bones Manor, so they are off limits.

·         Whatever you want to drink, if you don’t want yellow beer.  There will be shitty beer and maybe shitty wine.  If you want anything outside of that, bring it, unless you plan on living off Tallboys for the second half of the party.  (We’ve seen it done, “recommended”)

Important things:

·         It starts at 7:00pm.  So for those of you that are generally late, it starts at 6:30pm.

·         You will be at someone’s house.  Don’t be an asshole.  If you are going to bring a mariachi band, make sure it’s no more than three people so it doesn’t take up too much room.

·         There will be some foods and sides, but don’t expect a seventeen-course meal.  You will have a paper plate, buckling in the middle from the weight, filled with cholesterol inducing yummy foods.  You’re welcome.

·         If you are planning on drinking your face off, Uber.  Don’t be a dumb ass.  An Uber costs $40.  An attorney costs a lot more. Share a ride with a friend, plan to sleep at someone’s house, think ahead, not just OF head.

·         BRING A FUCKING TOWEL.

·         There is a Brass Monkey the next day, so plan on making it a full weekend of bad decisions and debauchery!

That’s about it, kids!  Please make sure to RSVP so we can buy the correct amount of food and shitty beer.  If you don’t RSVP and just show up, we will judge you.  More than we normally do.  And we’ll do it to your face.  More than we normally do.  So please, fucking RSVP!  This will be out last big Monkey event until Brass Monkey #420 (true story), our 16^th Analversary campout in February – so come fuck the end of your year up with the people you know can do the best job of it!  See you Friday the 5^th!

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BMH3 #412 – 11/8/2025: Womb Raider Saves the day!

 

 

 

We Need a Hare for December 6 trail, it'll be easy, we'll all be hungover from the holiday party! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #412 – 11/8/2025: Womb Raider Saves the day!

When: 

Saturday, November eighth, TWentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check!

Where: 

Spring Creek Nature trail head at Dead End of Glen Loch Dr 

30.11358989897269, -95.48917166812469

https://maps.app.goo.gl/vAtoEgE5SJo7kcLz9

Hares: 

WOMB RAIDER

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Trail will be 3 to 4 miles of shiggy, thorns and water crossings haphazardly laid thru familiar territory with one beer check. Will it be better than a beer mile or tour de Franzia trail? Probably… Maybe…. Who knows? Come to trail and find out. 

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

Spookt-ASK-tic Bloody PADS

  

 

 

We Need Hares in November and December! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #411 – 10/25/2025: Spookt-ASK-tic Bloody PADS 

When: 

Saturday, October TwentyFive, TWentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 3PM show, 3:30PM Go

HARES RAN INTO ISSUES. TRAIL WILL BE

3.00p show - 3.30p GO GO GO

Where: 

Gourley Nature Trail
30.009894382821873, -95.50994424599878
https://maps.app.goo.gl/x3n5MMv5eSzSqzrYA

Hares: 

Ask Me Something Personal & S.h.o.u.l.d.e.r P.a.d.s

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 
Spooky degenerates and swamp goblins. We are dragging you through a 3.5-ish mile fuck-my-legs trail the weekend before Halloween, why, because what is joy if not shared suffering.

There will be at least ONE beer check to lube your soul.
There might also be a candy shot check IF our chaos is organized enough to purchase candy and shots before 1pm. That's a big “if.”

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=- 

BMH3 #410 – 10/11/2025: 9th anal Flock you!

 

 

 

We Need Hares in November and December! Sign up now! https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1YWKD179RbNf0422ij-uBywUbAE2Z_DijBVth6ydRejQ/edit?usp=sharing

 

 

BMH3 #410 – 10/11/2025: 9th anal Flock you!

When: 

Saturday, October Eleventh, TWentyTwentyFive
• Main Pack 2PM show, 2:30PM Go
• Manned Beer Check at the nest!

Where: 

George Mitchell Nature Preserve Trailhead
At the end of Dr. Anne Snyder Drive, Tomball, TX 77375
30.148804903426369, -95.56331864323169
https://maps.app.goo.gl/DFpkcqnEXhmZkhiP8

Hares: 

The  Flock – Dumpsterbaitor, Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon, Outside Cat, Mouth Organ, Avian Sisterhood and Womb Raider

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: 
Birdies and Monkeys that identify as Birds it’s that glorious time a year when the Flock lays 3 beautiful trails for you full of thorns, shiggy and water! There will be the Bluebird (blue), Dove (white) and Robin (orange) trails, each 2-3 miles long, ending in the safety of the Nest. The Nest will be filled with beautiful Birds and a Chicken, delicious beers and avian themed snacks. Compete to replenish your little ducky supply and win “fun prizes” at circle! Wear your favorite bird attire! Hot bird food will be provided. Don’t forget your waterfowl suits and drinks for pool on-after.

Bring:

WATER, IT IS HOT!
Your fucking self and everything you need to survive a trail on your own. 
Drinking vessels for Brass Monkeys at circle.

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

D’erections:
FROM HOUSTON: Who do I look like, Spōrk? Fucking put the where into your phone and get your own directions.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)
Signal Group: https://signal.group/#CjQKIIalOA2myD7a6NUErlTmIA_iDCTrKoGL43hBJ7iRz17rEhBDput_QcfdV2rzWyvK5iZ6
Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n,
-=Twinkle Toes=-