Thursday, December 29, 2016

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 181 - The FUCK YOU 2016! Trail

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 181 - The FUCK YOU 2016! Trail

When: Saturday, December 31st, at ***2:00pm*** NOTE THE TIME, SHIT GETS DARK EARLY NOW!

WhereH-E-B (22618 Aldine Westfield Rd, Spring, TX)
22618 Aldine Westfield Rd, Spring TX 77373


Hares: Where Do You Get Off?! & Cocktor Spork

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent, $$ for Haberdashery: T-shirts $20, stickers $1, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:
From The Woodlands:
Travel South on 45 and exit 1960. Take that shit left to Treaschwig Rd. Take another left on Treaschwig and take that bitch to Aldine Westfield and bang a left. Keep driving until just PAST Cypress Island Drive. You'll see an unmarked road on your left across the street from the Library. If you end up by the HEB you went to fuckin far. Turn your jalopy around and look for the unmarked road on your right this time. Take that road into the parking lot which will be on your right.

From Houston:
Travel North on 45 and exit 1960. Make a right turn onto 1960 and ride that motherfucker until you hit Treaschwig Rd. turn yo' shit left onto Treaschwig and take that bitch to Aldine Westfield and bang a left. Keep driving until just PAST Cypress Island Drive. You'll see an unmarked road on your left across the street from the Library. If you end up by the HEB you went to fuckin far. Turn your jalopy around and look for the unmarked road on your right this time. Take that road into the parking lot which will be on your right.

Sidenote:
FROM THE HARES: Honestly, we don't even know where to begin. This travesty of a year has claimed some great ones, it also has been clusterfucky in so many ways. What better way to celebrate this dumpster fire of year than to get REALLY drunk and puke at your NYE party, only to then get hauled off to the shower, where you can pass out and flood the host's house in an attempt to wash away the pain, shit, puke, etc. that is so representative of 2016? Trail will be roughly 3 miles through the shiggy. Probably have some water crossing on trail and an ending that is a well known homeless homosexual hangout. Wear shiggy socks, or don't we don't care if you elect to be a martyr this time. Bring bug spray or don't (we are rather despondent these days, don't judge us). So cum join us before crying into your lukewarm glass of Korbel Brut and ringing in the new year rocking back and forth to Poison's Every Rose Has its Thorn. Hash cash is $5. We have habadashery if you want/need it. There you have it folks...make it happen! On-On

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133
Where Do You Get Off's #: (281) 608-0004
Red Light Special's #: (832) 484-9975

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

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