BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 245 - The Wombsterbaitor Express!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 245 - The Wombsterbaitor Express!

When: Saturday, June 15th, at 3:00pm!

Where: Montgomery County Preserve Trailhead

(30.112081, -95.451869)

***Not exact address. This is the strip mall. ***

1043 Pruitt Rd.

The Woodlands, TX 77380

Google Maps: 4G6X+Q7 The Woodlands, Texas

Hares: Womb Raider & Dumpsterbaitor

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 N or Hardy Toll road until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 73 towards Sawdust. Use the far-left lane at Sawdust to U-turn onto I-45 S feeder. From feeder, turn RIGHT just past the Texaco onto Pruitt Rd. Go past Papas Icehouse to the stop sign at the T. Turn LEFT onto Pruitt road. Go for about 0.5 mile and turn LEFT just past the small strip mall. There will be a white sign with James Noack Montgomery County Preserve and Nature Trail Spring Creek Greenway on the corner. Parking lot is on the right. If you get to Gullo Park or the baseball fields you fucked up. Turn around and try again.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Haring felt so nice I’m doing it twice! Co-haring last trail with Spork was awesome. This time I get to hare with Dumpsterbaitor. YAY! This is another virgin end (I think) so we shall see if we get to meet new cops again. It’s the middle of June and it’s HOT! Time to spend some time in the creeks getting WET. Trial will be 3-4 miles with one manned beer check. There will be multiple water crossings. Trail will be all Shiggy with little to no pavement. I’m sure we’ll find some thorns out there so expect to bleed a little. As usual, I will bring some good craft beer. To cool you off at circle, I will also once again be using my sciencey skills to make BOOZY freezer pops. I’m sure Dumpsterbaitor will be bringing some yummy snacks too.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 244: All Hot and Bothered... and Drunk.

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 244: All Hot and Bothered... and Drunk.

When: Saturday, June 1st, at 3:00pm!

Where: Venture Tech Park

8402 New Trails Drive

The Woodlands, TX 77381

Hares: Cocktor Spork & Womb Raider

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 77 toward Lake Woodlands Dr/Research Forest Dr/Tamina Rd. Go all the way to the first light and turn left onto Research Forest Drive. Go for about 2 miles and turn right onto New Trails Drive. The park will be on your right just past Technology Forest Drive. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: School'ssssssssss Out. Fo Summah! w00t! Yay, it's great! Less traffic, no school zones, no getting stuck behind school bus stops. Yessss. BUT, along with the awesomeness that is summer, here in the great state of Texas it also brings us the thing we dread most. No, not unsweetened tea, the fucking heat. The gross, hot, sticky, sweat dripping in all-the-things hot. Ewwww. The beautiful time of year is gone, so now we need to buckle up, wear sunblock, and stay in the fucking shiggy. You can expect 2-4 miles of mostly shiggy with a few "oh shit, a neighborhood" pop-outs. There will be at least one beer check, and since Womb Raider is one of the hares, the beer probably won't suck, event against Spork's saying, "Fuck them, PBR4LYFEEEEEEE". Virgin starting point and ending location (A to B), so maybe we'll get to meet new cops this time. Carpooling is great, you should do it, then more people can drink. Hashtag Science.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 243: Ivanna & Indiana Bones' Revenge

When: Saturday, May 18th, at 3:00pm!

Where: ACROSS THE STREET FROM MAIN PARK AT THE TRAIL HEAD - THERE IS NO ADDRESS:

W G Jones State Forest

Across the street from 1328 Farm to Market Road 1488

Conroe, TX 77384

Google Maps: 6GM9+P4 Conroe, Texas

Hares: Ivanna Hairy ButtChug and Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 81 for FM 1488 west toward Magnolia/Hempstead. Take FM 1488 West for about 1.5 miles then look on the LEFT for the trailhead; the trailhead doesn't have and address, so we used the one across the street. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Spring time in Texas means wet and floods. We have decided to not run along a river this time. Fucking rain! We will get you wet, we will get you muddy, we will draw blood. Perfect monkey trail. Bring your thirst for adventure, for beer, and sillyness. Trail is A to A. You can expect 4-ish miles of dog friendly, people friendly, not under 10 feet of water. Friendly. There will be at least one beer check!

NOT FROM HARES: For those of you that were there last trail, you know what we went through. We dealt with things we should never speak of again, like those kids from "IT". Maybe years from now, when we've gone through therapy from last trail, we will be able to speak of those events. But now? Not yet. Ivanna and Indiana Bones are doing a bit of the old "take two", so we'll see how this one goes. Thoughts and prayers for those still lost out on the last trail.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 242 - El Cinco de Monkey

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 242 - El Cinco de Monkey

When: Saturday, May 4th, at 3:00pm! ***NOTE THE START TIME!***

Where: George Mitchell Nature Preserve - Spring Creek Greenway

Flintridge Drive

The Woodlands, TX 77381

(30.163037, -95.517794)

Hares: Ivanna Hairy ButtChug, Indiana Bones and the Temple of Poon, and Just Lizzy

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: shirts from $15+, patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 76B onto Woodlands Parkway and go for about 3-ish miles. Turn left onto Gosling Road, then take your first right at Flintridge Drive. Go for just over a half mile, and the Nature Preserve will be on your left. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Even though TXIH is over, we are Monkeys and we are prepared to give you another shit show. This is a Cinco de Mayo trail. Expect several crossing of the Rio while bringing your asylum claims and stray niños/niñas. Time to honor our friends from the south by wearing your sombreros and ponchos. There will be a piñata check that may have some booze in it? and maybe some tequila?? Some of you will get the "worm". Expect 4ish miles and at least one beer check. Trail is dog friendly and A-A. Hash cash is 95 pesos. Bring your anti-ICE spray and tunneling equipment. Wall jumping socks are required.

On another sidenote, this will be Just Lizzy's virgin hare!! Coming to us with all kinds of enthusiasm and smiles, we'll see what this does to Just Lizzy, and what she does to us... Come help us make the virgin hare drink for all her crimes as we drink down alllllll the tequila. *quiver*

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 240: The Hookers of Hashwick

When: Saturday, April 6th, at 3:00pm! ***NOTE THE START TIME!***

Where: Burroughs Park

9738 Hufsmith Road

Tomball, TX  77375

*At the dog park area*

Hares: Road Head, The Jersey Score, and Hot Ham Wallet

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road to Grand Parkway (TX-99) and go West - that means left. Take the exit toward Kuykendahl Road. Turn right onto Kuykendahl Road, then turn left onto Hufsmith Road.  Take that and it will curve to the left, then park will be on your right.  Go in and take it until you hit the dog park.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: One year and two weeks ago I was convinced to cum to what I believed was a chill day walking through the woods and smoking hash….and what turned out to be complete and utter bloody mayhem.

may·hem/ˈmāˌhem/noun:

violent or damaging disorder; chaos. synonyms: chaos, disorder, confusion, havoc, bedlam, pandemonium, tumult, uproar, turmoil, madness, madhouse, hullabaloo, all hell broken loose, wild disarray, disorganization, maelstrom, trouble, disturbance, commotion, riot, anarchy, destruction, violence "furious TV bosses watched stunned as the band created mayhem onstage"

This Saturday please join three virginish trail layers exacting revenge on a beautiful somewhat chaotic trail. Expect to get lost (thanks HHW), get bored, get scared, horny, tired, a bit of shiggy, little bit of water….aaaand…who the fuck knows what else. Weather says rain but again, who the fuck knows.

Super dog friendly.

Come to Burroughs Park go almost all the way to the pavilion and park in the parking lot before the pavilion – the dog park parking.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 239 - Spork & Cum-Puss' Analversary Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 239 - Spork & Cum-Puss' Analversary Trail!

When: Saturday, March 23rd, at 3:00pm! ***NOTE THE START TIME!***

Where: Mountain Cypress Trail

Spring, Texas 77389

Hares: Cocktor Spork & Cum-Puss

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road to Grand Parkway (TX-99) and go West - that means left. Take to Gosling Road and exit; go North - that means right. Go for almost two miles and turn right onto Hampton Pointe Boulevard, Hampton Pointe subdivision. Take all the way until it deadends onto Mountain Cypress Trail, then turn right. Take that street while it curves and we'll be towards the end in the undeveloped area. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Many moons ago, when Bush was still the president, when nazis were still bad, while R. Kelly was busy making tapes, Cocktor Spork and Cum-Puss met at a Goodwill in California, and Cum-Puss’ anus was never the same. Now, fifteen effing years later from that day in 2006, the gays are now celebrating their:

•        Analversary: March 23rd, 2008

•        Engagement: March 23rd, 2011

•        Wedding: March 23rd, 2014

•        This Fucking Hash: 5th Fucking Wedding Analversary!

So, come out – to the hash or of the closet – maybe catch the gay, maybe take a rainbow to the ass, and maybe taste the rainbow… the possibilities are endless! Trail will be 3-ish miles? I think? The start is in the back of a neighborhood where they are finishing incomplete houses, so look for empty lots and bad decisions! Good shiggy, one beer check, and a gay old time. Since the gays control the weather and such, we’ll decide once it gets closer how we’ll arrange that. Bring a change of clothes and shoes regardless. See your buns there!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 238 - The First Anal Choke-a-Chup Trail!

When: Saturday, March 8th, at 2:00pm!

Where: Bear Branch Dog Park

5200 Research Forest Drive

The Woodlands, TX 77381

Hares: Choker Stroker & KatchUp

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy to until it deadends into I-45. Take exit 77 toward Lake Woodlands Drive / Research Forest Drive / Tamina Road. Go to Research Forest Drive and turn left. Go for three miles and the park will be ON YOUR RIGHT just past Shadowbend Road. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Welcome my pretty ones to the Choke Chup trail. We are happy to be haring a trail that is surely going to end with some choking. This is a house warming party/trail so there shall be shelter and Whors d'oeuvre at the end. We would like to have this be a stock the bar event if you are feeling generous. The weather predictor says its gonna be cold and rainy so be prepared. The trail will be dog friendly and the dogs may get to sniff a new asshole at the start, so that's a plus.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 237 - Brass Monkey 9th Analversary & First Ever Expeditionary Hash!

When: Saturday, February 23rd, at 2:00pm!

Where: City of Conroe WWTP (Wastewater Treatment Plant)

2499 Sgt Ed Holcomb Blvd S

Conroe, TX  77304

Hare: Lil' Pussy

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy to until it deadends into I-45.  Take exit 84B toward South Frazier Street/TX-75/Texas 336 Loop. Turn left onto S Loop 336 W and go for about a mile and a half.  Turn left onto Sgt Ed Holcomb Blvd S and go alllllll the way until it deadends.  Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

In February 2010, the Brass Monkey hash was birthed, and the northside hasn't been the same since.  Over the last 9 years, we've done some crazy shit, and it has somehow only ended up in two arrests. (One was a VooDoo hasher and one was KatchUp, go figure).  Each year, around this time, the Analversary trail is usually laid by Twinkle Ties, as it is also his birthday hash.  This year, however, since he is up in the coldness that is Minnesota, Lil' Pussy will be stepping in to lay his long awaited Expeditionary Hash!  You can expect 3-5 miles of solid shiggy, at least one beer check, and a reminder of what a fucking shiggy trail is all about.  According to the hare, there are hospitals and vet clinics around just in case, as well as behavioral health hospital for the other half of the group. Make sure to bring a change of clothes and warm shit for circle as there is a high chance of rain!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 236 - Womb Raider and Dresses with Wolves' Analversary!

When: Saturday, February 9th, at 2:00pm!

Where: *George Mitchell Preserve / Rob Fleming Park*

AFTER 6000 Creekside Forest Drive

The Woodlands, TX 77389.

(NOT EXACT ADDRESS).

Hare: Womb Raider and Dresses with Wolves

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy to TX-99/ Grand Parkway West. Exit at Gosling. Go right/north on Gosling for about 3 miles. Turn left at Creekside Forest. Go to the traffic circle (round-about) and take first right onto Creekside Forest Drive. George Mitchell Preserve trailhead is on the right and a large dirt parking lot next to that.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: It’s time to celebrate another year sans murder or divorce err I mean happily married bliss. This trail is thru territory about as virginal as I am. HOWEVER as familiar as the trail will be, much like Dresses with Wolves’s dick after 20+ years of marriage, it should still somehow manage to be loads of fun. Expect a little over 3 miles with water crossings. It might be a bit chilly for circle so there will be a propane heater or 2 to warm up the pack. There will be 1 manned beer check and 1 unmanned Steel Reserve check. Beer check will be some nice craft beer since we’re not complete assholes. I am also making some delicious homemade baked goods of some sort at circle.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 235 - The 2nd Anal Down Her Pubes Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 235 - The 2nd Anal Down Her Pubes Trail!

When: Saturday, January 26th, at 2:00pm!

Where: Some Country Ass House or Something

9929 Butler Rd Exd

Conroe, TX 77301

Hare: Down Her Hatch and Pew Pew Pubes

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Take exit 84B and take a right onto 336. Follow until Ave M (if you hit 105 you've gone too far), take a right and another right, go down just a bit and see wankers on the left in a looped driveway.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARES: Come one, come all to the second anal haring of Pew Pew Pubes and Down Her Hatch! Let's see if we learned anything from last year...

Trail will start at the front of Just Chantelle's house. We will have one beer check and one jello shot check. Depending on the rain, be prepared for some muddy and wet shiggy! As always, bring a shag bag including extra shoes (see above note about mud).

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 234 - Outside Cat & Dumpsterbaiter Save 2019!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 234 - Outside Cat & Dumpsterbaiter Save 2019!

When: Saturday, January 12th, at 2:00pm!

Where: ***UPDATED START LOCATION***
High Oaks Park
13100 Sawmill Raod 
The Woodlands, TX 77380

Hare: Outside Cat & Dumpsterbaiter

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead ends into I-45. Take Exit 73 for Rayford/Sawdust. Turn left at the light (Sawdust), and go straight for like 4 lights. At the 4th-ish light, Sawmill turns left at the Burger King / Starbucks intersection, TURN LEFT. After you turn Walmart will be on your left like right the fuck away. Turn in there. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

HOLY SHIT, IT'S 2019!!! So there we were, in like 2019, and we didn't even have a hare for our FIRST trail of 2019! Holy shit! So we asked - nay, pleaded - for someone to hare. And alas, came two wonderful ladies to save the day!!! Outside Cat and Dumpsterbaiter will be haring for us, because they are fucking awesome. They said you can expect a "4-5 mile trail with a beer check, bring bug spray and a change of clothes." Also, trail and circle are dog friendly.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 233 - Choker Stroker's Birfday Trail!

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 233 - Choker Stroker's Birfday Trail!

When: Saturday, December 29th, at 2:00pm!

Where: Rob Flemming Park
6055 Creekside Forest Dr, 
The Woodlands, TX 77389

Hare: Choker Stroker

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 north exit 70B towards Spring Stuebner and turn left onto Grand Parkway. Exit Grand Parkway on Gosling and turn right. Continue on Gosling until you reach Creeekside Forest Drive then turn left. At the round about take the first exit on Creekside Forest Dr. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARE: It's my BIRFDAY TRAIL!! Last trail of the year, I'll try not to fuck it up! Should be 3.5-4 miles. It’ll be dog friendly and as far as it getting wet goes there’s 80% chance of rain today and tomorrow as well as Saturday. If the rain is too heavy it might turn into ... something else... haha not trying to relay trail multiple times. I’m gonna go lay Saturday morning and hopefully the rain isn’t too knarly, but we shall see! Expect at least one beer check.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 232 - Saturnalia Trail 2.0

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 232 - Saturnalia Trail 2.0

When: Saturday, December 15th, at 2:00pm! *THEN CAMPOUT!*

Where: "Overflow Parking" Campground

Stubblefield Lake Rd, Huntsville, TX 77340

Hare: 101 Donations & Save a Horse, Ride a Mole

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead-ends into I-45. Follow I-45 N until you take exit 102 from I-45 N for Farm to Mkt Rd 1375 toward TX-150/Farm to Mkt Rd 1374/New Waverly. Take the feeder to the traffic circle, then at the traffic circle, take the 3rd exit onto FM 1375. Then, go under the freeway to the other traffic circle, then take the 1st exit. Continue onto N Fwy Service Rd going parrallell to I-45, but on the west side. Then turn left onto Possum Walk Rd (1374), then take that for like 8 miles. Then turn left onto Stubblefield Lake Rd (215), and go for two miles. Then the campground will be on your right. Look for assholes.

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARE: This will be the second year in a row doing the 101 & Ride a Mole Saturnalia trail. This will be a campsite trail, à la Twinkle Toes. Overnight camping is optional though highly suggested if people are drinking, considering the driving distance. If they are camping we suggest they arrive early to setup their tent. You can expect somewhere between 2 and 20 miles. Reminder the camping is BYOE! There will be trail snacks and beer, that's all!

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork

BRASS MONKEY H3 R*N # 231 - Womb Raider's Nightmare Before Xmas Trail!

When: Saturday, December 1st, at 2:00pm!

Where: SPRING CREEK GREENWAY

*There are several of these, pay attention to which one!*

Dead End, South End of Glen Loch Road,

Approximate Address is:

23915 Glen Loch Drive

Spring, TX 77380

(You can also Google Water Control & Imprv District on Glen Loch Road)

Hare: Womb Raider

Why: Because you like drinking, period.

Bring: $5 for hash cash, shag bag (change of clothes, you'll get dirty), BUG SPRAY, PI repellent (if applicable), sunscreen, $$ for haberdashery: patches $3, socks $10, and a thirst for beer of course.

D’erections:

FROM HOUSTON: Take I-45 North or Hardy Toll Road until it dead-ends into I-45. Take Exit 73, Rayford / Sawdust Road. Take the feeder to the light and turn LEFT onto Sawdust Road. Continue past three lights, then turn LEFT on the fourth light where the Starbucks is, which is still Sawdust Road, it just turns. You will stay on this for several miles until it dead ends. You'll pass Wal-Mart, Sawmill Road, you'll go right, left, yadda yadda, and you go all the way until it dead ends onto Glen Loch Road (you'll see a Timber Lakes Timber Ridge Sign), turn LEFT. Go alllllllll the way to the dead end, and ta-dah!

Sidenote:

FROM THE HARE: Womb’s LAST TRAIL…. of the year! Since I couldn’t get it together for a Halloween trail I am going to try to make it up to y’all with a Nightmare before Xmas trail. Truthishly it’s really because I want an excuse to wear my Jack Skellington PJs in public. Feel free to don your best Jack or Sally attire or whatever random Xmas or Halloween stuff or PJs you feel like wearing (I know you probably won’t…I still love you). Trail will be just under 4 miles and almost all shiggy and runnable trails. There will be one beer check with GOOD craft beer! There will NOT be shot, vodka, or Steel Reserve checks (sorry not sorry). There will be several water crossings but I will do my best to keep them shallow and not drown the pack. Should be dog friendly for experienced hash pups. I am also planning on baking some Jack Skellington cupcakes or cookies for circle.

What’s the worst that could happen? We shall see…

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Sorry, can't hear you. (P.S. We're not sorry.)

Cocktor Spork's #: (832) 372-5133

KatchUp's #: (817) 235-6141

0n-0n Bitches,

Cocktor Spork